Resurrected Secrets
by spelerison
Summary: Sequel to Spoiled Celebrations and part 3 of my Neliot series! Holidays are supposed to be enjoyable, that is if the company is. How will Nate handle spending Easter with the Spencer's, especially if Eliot isn't too fond of the idea himself. Mentions their pasts. ELIOT/NATE SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've found that this series has taken all my attention and wont give it back, lol. The ideas have seriously flown like water and all that's left to do is match up the words. I thought I'd play around with the writing style and see what happens, I like description but I don't like when it's so detailed that it's nearly cemented so I'll probably leave some things a little more open so you can paint the picture for yourself and have it more personalized for what you'd like to see. Also the angst in this one will probably be kicked up a notch and the story line rating might border on the heavier side of T. Finally, this story was inspired by some personal situations I've gone through and some very similar emotions I've felt, it wont be me rewriting my life story and just ranting but I do tend to have trouble writing happy when it comes to these two and I don't know how things will end yet. I don't like planning stories because then I get bored and wont write them so we'll just have to see where it goes together but I will try for a decent ending or at least not a heartbreaking one. Now on to the story and to an Easter done Leverage style, or at least a Spencer- Ford style, lol (I don't believe Eliots last name is really Spencer but for the purpose of this story it will be.)**

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><p><strong>Resurrected Secrets<strong>

Chapter One

"I've got a place I found that I wanna take you to but we'd have to leave Monday to make it for the cut off on the 10th." Nate informed reading from his computer. Eliot wouldn't change his mind about visiting his sister but that didn't mean he had changed his about them taking a vacation, he just had to work the visit to Oklahoma into the equation.

"Where d'ya wanna go that has a cut off date?" Eliot was about fifteen minutes away from his sisters house.

"That's not important, I just need to know if you wanna go or not."

"I don't know Nate, I'll see if Sarah gives me credit for showing up a day early. I know I've gotta go to church with them first thing in the mornin' but I don't know when Aarons showing up so I have to stay until then. After that I'll try and get away but I wanna spend some time with the midgets, I wont get to see them again for another eight months at least." He really did enjoy spending time with his family but it was hard staying close when you needed a certain distance to keep them safe from your secrets.

"So was that a yes?" Nate was hoping he'd be able to make the reservations he wanted.

"Nate I gotta go, I'm outside of Sarahs now and it looks like Aarons already here. Just call me on Monday and we'll figure it out."

"Monday will be-", but he didn't get the chance to finish as his phone started beeping signaling the call had been disconnected. "to late." Hanging up his phone Nate also closed his laptop, Eliot knew he hated being hung up on like that yet he did it anyway. That was it he had a bag to pack, Eliot was going to be getting more than a call come Monday.

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"El !" Aaron greeted pulling the door open. "You're actually here!"

"I said I'd be." Eliot lightly pushed his brother before pulling him into a hug. "So when do I meet this girl of yours?"

"Whenever she gets back." Aaron shut the door walking back to the living room, Eliot following.

"Where'd she go?"

"With Sarah and the kids to get groceries, apparently all the food in the kitchen isn't enough for tomorrow." Aaron sat back down next to Pete.

"No, they went looking for tonights dinner because everything in the kitchen IS for tomorrow." Pete corrected greeting Eliot with a pat to the back.

"At least ya know you're going to be eating good." Eliot sat on the arm of the couch not really interested in the golf game they had playing. "How's work been going Aaron?"

"Slow right now. We've been working on a bank that's going up where the old post office was and this summer we got a big contract to do a personally designed ranch house. We haven't come up with the final design though, the woman is a perfectionist and has been hasling us about everything from the windows to the placement of the toilets." Aaron sighed rolling his eyes.

"Sounds like a real witch. You should tell her to call a plumber if she wants to talk toilets." Eliot said smirking as his brother laughed.

"I swear she thinks I'm a designer, I try talking to her about wall placement and she starts going off about wall paper."

"Things like that make me glad I don't have to work with others all day. Me, the computers, and the cars understand eachother just fine." Pete bragged, he was an automotive designer.

"Have you done any bikes lately?" Eliot was always interested in the motorcycles Pete worked on.

"No but I did help out on the body of a racer, the end product was real sleek. It's the only race car I've seen lately that has such a classic structure, it left the shop a roarin' beauty." Pete spoke clearly proud of his work.

"In other words it was a neon mess like any other nascar." Aaron jabbed.

"Says the man who got his last paycheck from McDonalds." Pete sent right on back.

"McDonalds?" Eliot had obviously missed something.

"Yeah, we just got done putting up a new one over on Wilmington, but I take offence to that Peter." Aaron mocked hurt.

"And you?" Pete ignored Aarons dramatics trying to see if Eliot would share anything.

"Things have been boring lately." Eliot was only half lying. They were asking about his work and he hadn't done a job since the beginning of November, at least not with the team.

"OH come on Eliot, that's vague even for you. How do you expect us to know what's boring if we don't even know what you've been doing." Aaron complained. He knew Eliot didn't like to share his life, maybe he thought he'd disappoint them or worse yet that they would judge him but that didn't mean he didn't have the right to know somethings.

"The last job I did was for an agriculture company. They asked me to check the systems, find the flaws in their security." And it was not a lie. He did find the flaws in their security when they helped that girl with her potato and potatoes were agriculture and the job was done in that company so it was totally the truth.

"Wow that does sound boring." Pete agreed.

"I told you, I'm really not all that interesting." Eliot added liking the disinterest Pete was showing.

"Well what else have you been up to?" Aaron wasn't detured.

"I was in Colorado last week, saw a few friends. Talked about some work possibilities." If Aaron wanted details he would give them. He had once talked his way out of an enemies base camp with fifteen different guns pointed at him, surely he could make his brother happy without lying.

"Are you out of work?" Pete would gladly give his brother-in-law a hand if he needed it.

"No, I'm just thinking about changing scenery. I've been up east for a while now and I think I might wanna switch the pace." And that was true too. Eliot enjoyed helping others and he would never leave the team permanently but he couldn't help that whisper in the wind that seemed to wanna drag him away.

"That's the country blood in ya'. I feel the same way sometimes, where you just wanna up and leave and forget about everything else." Pete shared.

"You better not." Aaron said sternly, completely serious.

"You hurt Sarah by leaving and I'll make sure it hurts when you're leaving." Eliot threatened. That was his baby sister and her feelings were not to be messed with.

"Oh come on you guys, you know I'd never leave Sarah let alone the kids." Pete wasn't sure how serious they were but the two were intimidating on their worst days and scary as hell on their good ones.

"So while we're on the subject of women why don't you tell me about Ashlee." Eliot took the heat off of Pete, he was a good guy he just tended to speak first, think later.

"I'll let Ashlee do that herself, but since we are on the subject of women tell me about yours." Aaron moved to the chair where it would be easier to ask his questions.

"I don't-"

"Don't even say it. Ever since I can remember you've had yourself a girl, infact there isn't a time I can think of that you haven't so spill."

Now what was he supposed to do? He didn't want to lie to his brother but Nate was most definately not a girl and he wasn't ready and didn't know if he ever would be ready for the I might not be completely straight conversation with his siblings. "Yeah I've been seeing someone."

"Is that all you're gonna say?" His brother could be so frustrating.

"What else is there to say?" Besides the fact that the girlfriend they thought he had was actually a boyfriend.

"What she looks like, where you met her, details." Pete wanted to know this too and if it was anything good he was sure he'd be sharing with Sarah.

"Tall, pretty blue eyes, dark wavy hair. We met on a job I took and we ended up workin' together, we've worked together a few more times after that." Eliot offered only describing neutral attributes.

"What does she do?" Aaron wasn't sure what to think of a girl that was as free as his brother that she ended up with some of the same jobs, especially since he rarely did anything other than construction or security.

"Insurance." Nate might not have been in that exact type anymore but he did insure their clients, sometimes it was with nothing more than hope but that was better than nothing.

"What's with the one word answers?"

"What's with the twenty questions?" Eliot threw right back at his brother.

"Fair enough," Aaron conceided. "but if you do get that work you were looking for in Colorado is she going with you?"

"I don't know." And he didn't, he had already let Nate know that he would stick with him and stand by him through every decision he made whether it bring heaven or hell, but did Nate feel the same? If he chose to up and leave everything tomorrow would Nate even consider going with?

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><p><strong>EN: I'm going to try for happy but as you've seen that's difficult for me, Eliots birthday: supposed to be simple dinner date fluff? I got bored and kidnapped Nate. Nates rescue party: I got bored and threw a gynormace wrench in it. Valentines? Got Eliot captured and roughed him up a bit. I'll try working on that but who knows. I'd love to hear what you thought about the start, good, bad? Any opinions are appreciated, THANKS FOR READING!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

"Pete were back!" Sarah called setting her bags on the table.

"Whose truck is that?" Ashlee wondered as she followed the kids in through the back door.

"Eliots if I'm not mistaken." Sarah hoped, Eliot had a few and it was a possibility it could be someone elses.

"So I'm finally going to meet Eliot." Ashlee had met Sarah and her family over a year ago but still hadn't even caught a glimpse of the rogue brother Aaron proclaimed to have.

"Yes you are." Aaron said coming in the kitchen and placing a kiss on Ashlees cheek, the other two following him.

"Ashlee this is Eliot. El, Ashlee." He scrutinized Eliots every facial movement hoping his brother liked her.

"It's nice to meet you Ashlee and I would love to get to know you better but I think Becca just might pull my arm off if I don't go spend some time with her." Eliot apologized as Rebecca once again pulled down on his hand with all her weight.

"Becca Uncle Eliot wants to talk with Ashlee, why don't you go upstairs and play with Brian." Sarah chastised. Her brother needed to form an opinion on Ashlee so Aaron would make a decision already.

"You know what Becca," Ashlee started, kneeling in front of the little girl. "How 'bout you and me and Brian take your Uncle Eliot outside to play soccer."

"Can we?" Brian was already excited as he looked for his Uncles approval.

"Yeah, why don't you take the girls out and I'll be right there after I talk to your mom." Eliot promised.

"Cool, Becca lets go!" Brian said running out the door.

" Hey you two wait for me!" Ashlee called closing the door behind her.

"What are you doing in here, get out there with Ashlee!" Sarah yelled, she wanted a sister and babies.

"Can't I even say hi first?" It had been over three months since the last time he'd seen her and here she was kicking him out.

"Hi, now go!" Sarah barely greeted ushering him straight to the door.

"I'm going, I'm going." He really needed to stop letting his sister push him around.

"Catch!" Eliot barely caught the ball that would have hit him in the chest.

"I thought we were playing soccer?" He questioned throwing the football back to Brian.

"Becca wanted to play on the swingset." You could tell he was annoyed as he once again threw the ball.

"Your mom always wanted to play on the swings too." Eliot remembered being just as annoyed when he was younger and wanting to play baseball with his friends and Sarah would whine and pout until he took her to the park.

"What about Uncle Aaron?"

"He was little so he really didn't mind what we did as long as he got to go with, but he liked the slide. Whenever we went to the park he'd run right to the thing and go up and down until it was time to go home." Eliot smiled remembering all the times he took his siblings out the house just to get away.

"Oh I will most definately be black mailing him with that." Ashlee laughed as she joined them.

"Give him a break he couldn't have been any older than six at the time." Eliot threw her the ball from his spot in their makeshift circle.

"Oh no, he found out last summer that I used to carry a teddy and he's still teasing me about it. I gave that up at five." She grumbled, Aaron could be beyond frustrating when he wanted.

"Fair enough." Eliot smirked.

"I used to have a dinosaur but mama said he couldn't go to school so now he sits on the shelf in my room." Brian added trying to stay part of the conversation.

"Where's Becca?" Eliot asked already looking. The yard was fenced but it was still pretty big and he didn't like not knowing exactly where she was.

"Potty break. Her words not mine." She added as Eliot rose his eyebrow. "If you don't mind me asking, where did you get your eyes from?" Ashlee was a typical blue eyed blonde southern belle but Eliots eyes were intense.

"Excuse me?"

"Well you and your brother look really similar and even Sarah has the same noticeable facial features but their eyes are almost emerald and yours are just very blue."

"I've been told they're the same ones my great grandmother had." Eliot answered vaguely, he didn't like talking about his family although he guessed Ashlee would soon join it.

"Grandpa and Grandma have green eyes too." Brian told Ashlee.

"Wow so you're the only one with those colored eyes, that's cool. What about the hair? You and Aaron have the dark curly hair or at least Aarons would be if he wasn't always cutting it." He knew he should have packed his straightener. Sarah was the lucky one to have starch straight hair.

"It's like our mothers." Eliot spit out quickly. He didn't want to seem rude but he wanted to make sure she knew he didn't want to talk about that either.

"So Brian is that your bike on the other side of the house?" Obviously she took the hint.

"Yeah, Uncle Eliot gave it to me for Christmas."Brian answered almost disappointedly.

"I bet you ride it all the time right?"

"Nope." He was clearly disappointed now.

"Why?" Eliot knew Sarah wasn't thrilled about the idea of that particular present but he didn't think she'd take it away from him.

"I'm grounded."

"Whatcha do?" Sarah and Peter were pretty linient on their kids so it must have been bad.

"I got in a fight." He let out reluctantly clearly thinking he would disappoint his Uncle.

"Well you make sure you don't leave it out in the rain or it'll rust." Eliot warned as he went back to their original subject.

"You're not mad?" Brian was shocked.

"Are you sorry for what you did?" At Brians nod he continued, "Well then you mind your ma and pa and stay out of trouble and we're cool." He wasn't to thrilled at the idea of his nephew fighting but he wasn't about to be a hypocrite either. Brian was a good boy and he had good parents so Eliot knew he'd be ok."

"Cool!" Brian exclaimed happy once again.

"Now go on and see where your sister got off to."

"Aaron told me you were good with kids." Ashlee had watched silently as Eliot and Brian talked.

"Not really, they only like me because I bring presents every time I visit." He joked.

"It's more than that, he looks up to you." Ashlee noticed.

"Not to much I hope." Ashlee seemed to take it as a joke but he was completely serious.

"You'd make a good dad."

"Aaron would make a great father." He nearly blurted. If the subject had to be kids he sure didn't want it to be about his.

"I've never mentioned kids to him. I'm waiting for him to bring it up so I'll know how serious he is." Ashlee shared. They'd been together for two and a half years but she didn't want to freak him out by mentioning the idea of starting a family.

"You go on ahead and ask him about it Ashlee, I'm sure you'll be happy with his answer." Eliot said starting back for the house. "And Ashlee."

"Yes?"

"Welcome to the family." Wait, did that mean what she thought it meant? Going back to the house herself she was glad that it seemed like Eliot accepted her. He wasn't hysterically happy and he didn't ask her loads of questions but he didn't seem like he would be that kind of person. He had welcomed her though and that was good enough, at least for now.

"Where are the kids?" Eliot asked his siblings who were sitting at the kitchen table.

"Brians in his room and Pete went to put Rebecca down for a nap. And Ashlee?" Sarah questioned noticing that her brother had come in alone.

"Right here." Ashlee entered the kitchen.

"Good you can help me with some cookies for tomorrow." Sarah said getting up.

"I'll help." Eliot offered.

"No, you and Aaron are going to get out of my kitchen." Sarah ordered.

"Fine but I need to talk to you later about the kids' Easter baskets." Eliot told her leaving the kitchen before she answered.

"So what do you think of Ashlee?" Aaron had tried getting those two together at least half a dozen times but his brother always seemed to go missing at the last minute.

"Go for it." Eliot advised sitting back on the couch.

"Is that all you have to say?" He wanted his brothers opinion on the woman he was going to ask to be his wife and all he had to say was go for it.

"She's a good girl from what I've seen. If you're positive that's what you want, go for it Aaron." Eliot said whole heartedly meaning every word.

"You really think so?" Aaron asked again, his brothers opinion was more important to him than any other person living.

"Aaron you marry her and start a family so Sarah will stop bothering me about giving the midgets cousins." Eliot clamped a hand on his brothers shoulder squeezing slightly.

"Thanks El. It means alot to me that you and Ashlee get along." Aaron was already planning exactly how he was going to propose.

*bing*

"Is Sarah expecting someone?" Eliot asked getting up from the couch and walking to the front door.

"Not that I know of." Aaron followed also curious as to who was at the door.

"Eliot!" A woman greeted as he opened the door. In that moment he wished he could just close it and pretend like he hadn't just opened the portal to hell.

"Mom, Dad."

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><p><strong>EN: Well that's interesting. Next chapter will bring the drama and with it Nate. Hope you enjoyed this one even if it was just to get Ashlees introduction out of the way.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"What are you doing here?" Aaron questioned quickly trying to stop whatever remark that was about to come from Eliot. He never had had a good relationship with his parents but he would say it was perfect compared to the one they had with Eliot. It was probably safe to say Eliot resented them, maybe even hated them.

"Sarah invited us." Their mother explained hugging him before trying to hug Eliot who pulled away quickly mumbling, "I'm going to talk to Sarah," before storming off.

"And to think that boy was actually taught manners." His father huffed making his way inside.

"So why don't you tell us what you've been up to lately." Aaron groaned as he sat down next to his parents fulfilling his mothers request. As annoyed as he was he knew it would be best if he kept them in the livingroom.

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>"Ashlee I need a minute alone with Sarah." Eliot tried his best not to order. His nails were digging into his palms from how tight his fists were clenched and he was trying his best not to lose his temper and start yelling.<p>

"Alright, let me just," Ashlee showed her cookie dough covered hands. "You know what, I'll wash them upstairs." She suggested instead, Eliot looked like his head might explode if she stayed in the kitchen a moment longer, she might not have known him long but she knew enough to recognize when it was time to leave.

"Are you trying to scare her away?" Sarah yelled wiping her own hands. She had heard the doorbell and had a feeling she knew exactly why he was in here.

"When did you plan on telling me they were coming?" She was trying to use Ashlee as a stall tactic and he wasn't going to have it.

"Eliot I wasn't expec-"

"Don't even lie to me because ma already told me you invited them!" His sister already knew how he felt and here she went and did this.

"I know I invited them but they weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow morning Eliot. I was going to tell you tonight."

"You should have told me before they got here, before I got up and answered the door!"

"Eliot everytime I even suggest the three of you being in the same room you bolt like someone just set your feet on fire. Aaron barely talks to them because of you and I'm tired of explaining to the kids why they have never seen you and their grandparents at the same time. It's time you got over all this crap and talked to them." Sarah had finally said her peace and now she was left hoping he would listen.

"Where the hell were you living the first eighteen years of your life Sarah? LaLa land. I can be blamed for alot of shit, and I'll take responsibility for it too but if Aaron doesn't want anything to do with them than that's because of how they were, how they are and that's got nothing to do with me! I'm glad that you've managed to have a good relationship with them but I honestly don't want one." Eliot finished getting ready to leave, he was done here.

"That's not fair Eliot, not to me or anyone else. You just took off and we didn't hear from you, It was two years before you even bothered to let me know you were alive! I was thirteen and needed my big brother and I came home and you were gone, I still worry when you leave if it's going to be years before I see you again, if ever!" Sarah was trying to hold back the tears that were stirred as she revealed that.

"I came to your graduation." Eliot defended.

"That wasn't enough, I hadn't seen you in five years and all you gave me was two hours!"

"They wouldn't let me!" Eliot refused to stand by and take blame for something that wasn't his fault. "Dad threw me out before I had the chance to say anything to anyone. Everytime I called you, you were either not at home or to upset to talk to me!" He shouted sarcastically. "So excuse me for not wanting to have anything to do with the people who kept you guys from me!"

"Eliot" Sarah didn't know what else to say. Her parents had told her Eliot left to start his own life and all she thought about was how empty she felt and how much she hated him for not taking her with. Turns out he had tried to keep in contact with them he just wasn't allowed.

"Tell the kids I'm sorry I had to leave without saying good-bye." Eliot offered leaving the kitchen.

"Eliot wait!" Sarah ran after him. He had just revealed a huge secret and she wanted to know the rest, she deserved to know the rest.

"Ashlee it was nice meeting you, Aaron I'll call you later."

"It was nice meeting-" Ashlee trailed off realizing it was more of a statement than anything as he never stopped just continued right out the front door.

"What happened?" Pete questioned having barely joined the group.

"Don't worry about it Pete, Eliots always been like that." Caroline Spencer shared from her seat.

"Maybe you should go after him." Ashlee suggested to Aaron. She had been excited to meet the Spencers at first but now having spoken with them she wasn't sure if she felt the same. Aaron had been sharing a story of one of his and Eliots adventures and his dad had rudely interrupted him saying there was no need to share such nonsense, It was almost said as if he looked down on his sons.

"I think I will." Aaron agreed wanting a break from his fathers scrutinizing eye.

"Listen to your mother and leave him alone Aaron." He thought he had done good while raising his children but he guessed it was true that every bunch had its bad apple.

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"Mr. Carson! Mr. Carson sir!" The hotel desk clerk tried to get Eliots attention but he just ignored her and kept on walking. She wanted to tell him he had a visitor waiting but she guessed he'd figure it out soon enough.

Why had Sarah done that? He had finally managed to keep his nose clean enough to have an actual life, to actually visit his family without worrying about one of his enemies showing up. He was doing good, helping others and had even managed to fix his whole damn mess of things with Nate and now this had to go and happen. Everything was up in the air and he was feeling trapped, he didn't know what he was going to do to fix things with his siblings but right now he didn't care. He was going to pack his things get in his truck and drive until he could breath again, everything and everyone else be damned.

"What are you doing here?" He had not been expecting to see Nate sitting there casually as he opened the door to his hotel room.

"Well hello to you too." Nate stood noticing Eliots obvious anger immediately.

Great the last thing he needed was a sarcastic Nate. He was just going to grab his things and go before he ended up saying something he'd regret.

"Eliot" Ok now he was worried, Eliot always said something about his comments even if it was just to tell him to shut up. "Eliot stop ignoring me!" He walked across the room and snatched the duffle Eliot was stuffing things in.

"Give me my bag back!"

"Not until you tell me what's going on!" Eliot was looking pissed and Nate knew he'd have to be just as stubborn if he was going to get anywhere.

"Fine then, keep the damn thing!" He didn't even try to retrieve it. He only brought luggage because he was coming for a visit and didn't have to worry about making a quick getaway or so he thought.

"Eliot stop." Nate quickly dropped the bag grabbing Eliots arm to stop him from leaving the hotel room.

"Let me go." He growled.

"I want to talk."

"Release my arm or I'll break yours." His gaze fell momentarily on where Nate was holding him before he turned threateningly stepping right up on Nate.

"No" He didn't even loosen his grip, almost positive Eliot was bluffing.

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><p><strong>EN: Uttooo. Well that was unexpected, but I guess not really. Hope you enjoyed!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Release my arm or I'll break yours." He never wanted to hurt Nate but right now he needed to get away and his boyfriend was preventing him from doing that.

"No" Great now not only was Nate preventing him from leaving but he was causing him to become even angrier. Dragging his leg around the back of Nates he quickly yanked at the back of the knee throwing Nate off balance and effectively knocking him to the ground, but what he wasn't expecting as he turned back around to leave the hotel room was the vice grip both his legs were put in, almost like a hug, pulling him back hard causing him to lose his footing and land right on his stomach.

"Damn you Nate!" Eliot breathed harshly. He really should have known better than to turn his back even if it was just Nate.

"No, Damn you Eliot! I can understand if you're mad but there's got to be boundaries, you have to show me some respect too." Nate huffed slowly sitting up, he had not been expecting Eliot to drop him like that and it had hurted too.

"Don't you even start preaching about respect to me, you're the last person in the world who has that right." Eliot growled standing back up, all he wanted to do was go blow off some steam but Nate was really starting to tick him off.

"Thats true," He agreed not wanting to stir up that mess at the moment. "but how do you expect me to know what to do or say or better yet not to if I don't know why you're mad to begin with."

"It's none of your business!"

"What's wrong?" Nate moved closer, he was used to a hot headed Eliot but behind all that was something else that was worrying him.

"Nothing! I'm perfect, everythings perfect, my parents are just fuckin' perfect! Everyones doin' good and things are just awesome!" Eliot shot sarcastically, going to sit down. If Nate insisted on him staying then he would have to deal with the consequences.

"What happened at Sarahs?" Nate asked, gripping the hand that was squeezing the arm chair. The second Eliot mentioned his parents he had an idea but right now he needed to focus on getting Eliot to release his grip on the chair or he was quite likely to break a finger if not worse.

"Are you ready to go back to Boston?" Eliot pulled away, he would usually say he was very self controled, he took pride in that fact but apparently when it came to Nate or his family that control went out the window.

"No, I came here to talk to you about our vacation, and you came here to spend Easter with your family so I don't think you are either." Nate said respecting Eliots space but staying close.

"Change of plans." Eliot breathed starting to feel his anger disipate though it was turning into a sort of loneliness.

"Lets go out then." Nate suggested seeing the change immediately. He wanted answers but he knew Eliot wasn't going to give any and there was no use in making things worse.

"Where to?" He sighed. He didn't want to go anywhere but atleast it looked like Nate would leave things alone for now.

"Take me back to your little hideaway."

"It's not a hideaway." Eliot grumbled trying to focus on their bickering and not the memories that were resurfacing.

"I don't care what you call it, lets go." Nate stood pulling on Eliot as he tried to make him do the same.

"That's over two and a half hours away."

"Your point."

"It'll be dark by the time we get there." Eliot protested lamely knowing that was a poor excuse.

"Good, now come on lets go." Nate had an idea on how to get Eliot to open up but they needed some place that would give alot more privacy.

"Why?"

"Will you just humor me."

"Lets go." Eliot got up not paying any mind to Nate as he left his room knowing he would follow, maybe the drive would help to clear his head and get his emotions in check.

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About forty minutes of driving in a semi awkward silence and Nate decided it was time to put his plan into action, he just hoped it didn't blow up in his face. "You know when I was younger I'd actually look up to my dad, I thought he was pretty cool."

"What are you doing?" Nate never talked about his dad and Eliot had a feeling this was some kind of trap or trick.

"Sharing, now shut up and listen. It wasn't until I got older that I realized how much of a loser he really was, that's how I eventually ended up in monastery school." The laugh was near sardonic. "I wanted as far away from him and all his crap as I could get, what better way to do that than become a priest. As you know that didn't exactly work out but it didn't matter, I got into insurance and I started going after all the scum that were just like my father. I made the big mistake of grouping people as if it could actually be that easy, and I paid for it." He needed a minute after that last part to get rid of the memories of how much he really did lose, especially the ones of his son.

"Good, bad, right, wrong. It's never that simple, I was so busy trying to get away from the lifestyle my father had that I pulled myself right into it without noticing." He admitted. "After Sam, well after he... I thought back on what I had done and what could have possibly been done differently and I honestly don't know if I could have changed anything but I know there isn't a day where that question isn't plagueing me. The point is I allowed myself to become blinded by my hate and anger and well you've seen how that ended first hand." Nate finished uneasily, sure he had chose to bring it all up but it still left him fidgety. He hadn't shared much but it had been more than ever before and with Eliots silence he had begun to feel exposed and a bit vulnerable.

"We'll be there in an hour." Eliot said entertwining their fingers. It might have seemed like his plan backfired but Nate knew differently, even if it was unintentional Eliot was giving him reassurance and support by the hold he had his hand in and he knew that eventually he'd get what he wanted.

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Slowly pulling off the road and down the trail that would lead him to his destination Eliot pondered what he would tell Nate. He had spent the last hour thinking about everything Nate had told him and he knew he needed to say something of his own. He could just stay quiet but he had a feeling that would cause damage to the relationship he and Nate had just begun to rebuild and that wasn't a risk he was willing to take. "Do you still love him?" He finally asked turning off his truck and turning to face Nate.

"My dad?" Nate questioned having been caught off guard, this wasn't how he expected this conversation to start.

"Yeah"

"He's my dad." Nate shrugged.

"That's not an answer." Eliot admonished sternly, if Nate expected him to be open than he should know he'd have to do the same.

"He's a stubborn old man that I can't be in the same room with for more than five minutes without fighting and we never do anything more than bump heads but yeah," Nate slowly breathed. "I love the guy."

Nodding his head absently Eliot got out of his truck and started walking slowly in the direction they had been driving. "Where are you going?" Nate yelled from his opened door. When he got no answer he slammed the door as he hurried to catch up.

"Sarah invited our parents over for tomorrow." Eliot finally let out after they had been walking for a few minutes.

"And that's a bad thing?" Nate wondered as he tried his best to be supportive.

"Yes, well I don't know, maybe." The frustration was building again. "I just don't see how she can forgive them so easily."

"El, I don't want to seem rude but it sounds like you got alot of build up to go through and I don't know any of it so why don't you start at the beginning." Nate suggested, hopefully it wouldn't cause Eliot to change his mind and withdraw.

"Remember the accident I told you about?" Eliot knew full well Nate knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Yeah the bike accident that nearly gave your mother a heart attack, I remember."

"What I didn't tell you was the only reason she was worried like that was because she thought I had hurt my face." Eliots smile was a wry one. " A scar like that would have ruined her Christmas card." Things stayed quiet for awhile as Nate pondered what he should say if anything and Eliot just continued his walk with no real destination in mind. "They're fairly decent people overall, they just never should have had kids."

"Then why did they?" Nate was glad to have something relatively safe to ask.

"Strive for perfection." Eliot let out darkly as if it was some sort of mantra. "My father has certain standards he lives by and expects everyone else to too. My mother is materialistic and just well vain, she always has to make sure that she and the house are prim and presentable. He had the perfect job, perfect wife, and perfect home, all he was missing to become the picture of perfection was the children."

"Is living in a perfect world so bad?" Nate asked before realizing that was not something he should have said.

"Perfection is a lie." Eliot spat. "My parents are," He shrugged not really sure which words would describe them accurately. "Things weren't to bad until after Sarah was born. Ma thought of Sarah as her own personal doll to play with until she started dirtying the dresses and pulling out the bows. Then dad would come home and yell about the house being a mess and mom would scream how he didn't understand how hard it was to take care of us and the chores because he was never at home, and I would just hide in the nursery with the baby and remind myself the best I could that it wasn't my fault they were fighting yet again no matter what they said to suggest different." He remembered being more than told by his father quite a few times when his parents got to fighting.

"You took care of Sarah like a big brother should." Nate reassured pulling him closer.

"I tried. I was still little myself but I did my best to keep her entertained and happy so she wouldn't cry and get momma in a bad mood. That plan didn't work out to well though cuz I started school that same year, the fights continued and I did my best to keep Sarah from getting upset. I used to tell her a bunch of stories about her being a princess and me a knight in training, and that when I got to be old enough to pass all the tests I'd rescue us both from there and we'd never have to look back." Eliot smirked remembering how naive and innocent he actually was once.

"You're a knight now."

"To bad Sarah had to save herself." He appreciated the squeeze to his shoulder but it didn't change the fact that he had left her behind after spending years promising not to. "After Aaron came my mother figured out a system to fix things with my father, she'd put Aaron and Sarah out back in a playpen while she did all the cleaning . When she finished all that she'd sit out there with them until I got home from school, then I'd do my homework while I watched them and she started dinner. After that everyone got cleaned and dressed and by the time my dad was home from work he'd have have his perfect house and family to sit down to dinner with." Eliot huffed hating that he actually lived through that nonsense.

"She left her children outside so the house stayed pristine to please your father?" A home was supposed to be a place where your family could dwell happily and feel secure, Nate found himself in disbelief that Eliot wasn't given that. That may not have been the beating you expected upon hearing the word but it sure sounded like child abuse.

"Not always, she had a few different ways to keep us from causing a ruckus, we were never allowed access to the whole house though just a room or two, usually mine. We've never been more than trophies to them to take out or put away as they found necessary, though most summers were spent with our grandparents which was a nice change." Those summers probably held some of his fondest memories, that ranch was where he road his first horse and his grandfather had let him at barely twelve drive for the first time. "I was about ten when I just started taking them places, Aaron was only three and my mom didn't even care where we went or how long we were gone as long as I had them back and cleaned up before dad got home." Eliot stopped abruptly suddenly sitting. Nate too sat deciding it was a good time to break from their walk and the life story, it had been more then he imagined receiving and he was going to take some time to process it all.

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><p><strong>EN: I hope this came out well cuz it was giving me trouble and it started getting to long so I had to split it. Hope you enjoyed this and the next part should be up soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

After sitting for what seemed like hours Eliot finally figured he had gotten a good enough hold on his thoughts and emotions to continue, "After Aaron was old enough to start school we barely even saw our parents, Dad would be gone long before anyone else woke and my Mom would sleep in until after we left. I got up every morning and made sure they were fed and dressed before I'd drop them at the bus stop and start the walk to get myself to school. I'd be waiting for them when they got out and we'd go to Bubbys to get our homework done before going home for the night."

"What about weekends? You didn't go for family trips?" Nate wanted to hear that Eliots parents weren't as cold as he was portraying them to be.

"If there was a dinner party we'd essentually be displayed but usually I just got them up early and we'd go fishing or to the park, sometimes I'd just follow them as they went out further than we'd been before to explore something new."

"That doesn't sound like the perfect children to me. No one noticed this?"

"They saw what they wanted," It wasn't something you announced and what could really be done anyway? How much better would it really be to be removed from the only home you knew, taken away from your siblings and placed into the unknown with a very likely chance of it being worse than before. "The star football player, the cheerleader, best pitcher, children of the prom queen and head quarterback. They started going on play dates and I'd go hang out with my buddies without worrying what trouble they'd be gettin' into." The hem of his shirt had become a toy as he tried to figure out what it was he wanted.

"Now I understand why you said you were Aarons dad." Nate realized that even if he had both his parents Eliot had indeed had a great part in raising his brother and sister.

"By the time I was seventeen I had them enrolled in so many after school programs that they didn't even have time to sneeze. The next year my Dad kicked me out the house without any sort of an explanation." Eliot gave in deciding he didn't care if he let everything out to be seen. Lying down he dragged Nate with him, right now he wanted to feel the love he spent his whole childhood craving and was glad that Nate seemed to understand this as he pulled him closer wrapping his arms around him in a comforting embrace.

"What did you do?" Nate asked feathering light kisses to the back of Eliots head.

"I tried to find a chance to explain things to them but between my parents and the teachers one never came up, I didn't have a job let alone any money so eventually I made my way to a recruiting office and before I knew it I was another soldier being shipped over seas." Eliot recalled also recalling the silent tears he had fought.

"And they didn't know?" Nate hadn't known this was going to become as deep as it had but he knew he would make sure Eliot didn't regret telling him.

"I ended up being wounded two years after that and I finally managed to make contact in the hospital, Aaron refused to talk to me and Sarah barely managed a few words before she was in tears. After that ma got on the phone, asked me not to call back, I gave them the love our parents refused to, I spent thirteen years watching out for them and it was as if they turned their backs on me." Eliot admitted not letting the tear he felt fall. "My siblings were my life and suddenly I didn't have that anymore."

"You started building the Eliot Spencer the rest of the world knows." Nate offered seeing what was probably a big piece of what had caused Eliot to become a hitter.

"It's easy to close your heart when the only two people in it hate your guts." Eliot shrugged off the beginnings of exhaustion.

"How does Amy work into this whole thing?" Nate knew she hadn't even been mentioned but he was curious as to where that piece of Eliots puzzle fit.

"I took some of the vacation time I had coming my way and you know me I like to keep busy, I ended up working for Willie and eventually me and Amy started dating." Eliot shrugged.

"And?" Nate knew he wouldn't be getting any awards for his patience but he honestly didn't care.

"I got an offer from a commander I knew to be part of this op he was going on, all I knew was it was better than what I'd be going back to after my leave and that was all I needed to know before I was itching to go. I promised Amy I'd be back and I was off, but something kept nagging at the back of my mind to go home, to go see if everyone was alright. So I went, it was Sarahs graduation ironically enough." Eliot laughed. "Dad was pissed, Mom didn't even bother to care and to my surprise Aaron and Sarah were actually happy to see me. I spent my last two hours on American soil with them glad that even if they were mad at me I hadn't lost them like I thought."

"Why didn't you stay?" Nate wondered as he started rubbing his thumb lightly over Eliots upper arm.

"Between the disgusted stare my mother was giving me and the lecture from my father on how disappointing I was I knew it wasn't an option, besides I had found something I enjoyed doing and was good at, I didn't want to give it up. Aaron wished me well before I left and Sarah begged me to come back and off I went actually believing that I could keep all three of the promises I had made." Eliot rolled to his back staring at the sky that was sparkling.

"What happened from there that turned you from a soldier to a goon, or better yet how'd you become the expert I started chasing?" Ok that had nothing to do with Eliots family but while he was sharing why not try and get him to clarify other things.

"It was one hell of an op, lot of things went wrong, lot of men died, I had a lot of crap I needed to sort out and I learned some lessons the hard way," Eliot summed, his admitance was reluctant at best. "But that has nothing to do with this and now is not the time to delve into those demons."

"What about the whole guns thing?" Nate quickly moved on acting as if his window of opportunity was about to close.

"Nate, please don't"

"Alright" He was still curious but the vulnerability in Eliots voice told tales of there own on how painful those memories were and no matter how curious he was he wouldn't willingly bring back something that bothered Eliot so. "Eliot" Nate whispered after a moment to the man that was beginning to doze on his chest.

"Hmm," he mumbled not really caring what Nate had to say at the moment.

"I think you should go to church with your family tomorrow." Not even bothering to voice his opinion he just shook his head curling tighter into Nates side. "I understand that you don't like your parents, hell I don't even know them and I feel the same but it's time for you to stand your ground. They've been chasing you away your whole life and I think it's time you put your foot down." Nate lifted his foot before slamming it back down for emphasis.

"Come with me?" Eliot asked as he lifted his head to look Nate right in the eye.

"What?" Nate spluttered sitting up, had Eliot really just invited him to join the nut case of a family he'd been describing?

"That's what I thought." Eliot huffed lying back down on Nates legs.

"I'll go" Nate said not believing he was actually agreeing to do this.

"You'll go?" Eliot got back up looking very skeptical.

"Yes I'll go to support you, to be your friend, anything you need I'll be." Maybe if he did this he wouldn't feel like he owed Eliot so much from the Sophie thing.

"I guess we go then."Eliot started getting up, he was shocked at himself for actually agreeing.

"Right now?"

"Church is at eight." Eliot extended a hand to pull Nate up.

"But it's barely four." He protested, he was tired and he had been comfortable with the idea of lying here with Eliot for a couple hours.

"And it's two and a half hours back and probably another half hours walk back to the truck." Eliot calculated trying to remember exactly which way they had come from.

"Great. Next time talk to me in the hotel so we don't have to come all the way out here." Nate grumbled knowing Eliot was somewhat lost even if he would never admit it.

"That was your damn idea!" Eliot barked.

"Love ya'!" Nate threw over his shoulder as he started for the way he was almost positive they came.

"Me too, ya jackass." Eliot mumbled as he followed Nate knowing that he had heard the second he started laughing. Continuing to follow Nate down what he now knew to be the wrong path Eliot smiled, this was going to be one interesting Easter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"I changed my mind." Eliot whispered. He was sitting in the churchs parking lot trying to breath past the tie that was slowly suffocating him and hoping Nate would agree. Why had he even invited him to come along to begin with, he really hadn't thought through how he was going to explain Nate to his family. If they turned around right now they could make it out unscathed, but would that really do him any good in the long run?

"We'll just sit through mass and then see where things go from there." Nate leaned in to pull the key from the ignition, Eliot had the steering wheel in a death grip and was looking ready to bolt. He had to admit he was nervous himself and no sleep wasn't helping any. Slowly opening his door Nate carefully slid out of the truck, he had been silently battling his own demons since he had agreed to go and now that Eliot was second guessing things he was finding it hard not to take the opportunity to just get out of this whole mess.

Throwing his head back Eliot groaned, Nate was out of the car and had taken the keys with him, sure he could still leave if he wanted but stomping Nates support especially with all his empending issues around religion would not be a good thing to do. A knock on the window brought him out of his thoughts as he opened the door to an inpatient Nate.

"Eliot," Nate began softly trying to soothe Eliots nerves as much as his own as he started making soft patterns on his boyfriends thigh with his finger tips. "you're not a child anymore and there can't possibly be a single thing that your parents can say or do that would matter in the least."

"That's what you think." Eliot mumbled.

"What does that mean?" He hoped things hadn't been worse for him than what he had admitted to.

"Nothing." Damn, when had he lost the ability to keep his mouth shut around Nate, that was something he needed to get back in check.

Seeing Nates accusing eyes Eliot quickly went on before the questions could begin. "You're right and I just wanted to let you know I appreciate you coming, I know how I can be and... just Thank-you." Picking up the hand that was resting on his leg he quickly looked around for anyone who might be watching before placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. He wasn't embarassed of Nate and he was trying to work on his issues with showing affection in public but they were in a parking lot to a Catholic church and he did not need the whole homosexuality is a sin shit on his plate right now.

"Lets go." Nate squeezed Eliots knee before pulling back to let him out. He didn't know how things were going to pan out but he was already preparing himself a few different back stories to go with whatever explanation Eliot gave his family for his presence.

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"Where you sittin'?" Nate whispered as they entered the church, it was already packed and it didn't look like they were going to be finding a seat.

Nodding his head in the direction he planned on going Eliot slowly made his way around the people idly chatting and to the side aisle, trying to stay unnoticed and out of the way.

"I'll just hang back here." Nate pointed to a vacant spot on the very last pew, he had promised to show his support but preferably he could do that from this back corner where he wouldn't claim any unwanted attention.

"Don't I wish." Eliot mumbled sending Nate a look that clearly said it wasn't happening. "Scoot over" Eliot whispered to his brother who was sitting a few rows up, as he poked him in the shoulder.

Telling Ashlee to move down Aaron made room for his brother and the man behind him to sit. "I'm glad you came." Aaron quietly told him as Eliot accepted Ashlees silent greeting.

"Where's Sarah?" He had expected the whole family to be in the same pew but obviously not.

"Where else," Aaron huffed indicating exactly where she was. "Ma dragged her out the house with the kids nearly an hour ago to make sure they got a seat in front."

Glancing at the first pew where Nate safely assumed Eliots brother had pointed out he saw a young woman sitting next to a taller man who was trying to keep a little girl sitting. There was a very bored looking boy on the other side who was next to an older couple who he could tell were Eliots parents by the shared features. "Cute kids."

"It'll be a miracle if Pete keeps Becca quiet and sitting the whole hour." Eliot told Nate noticing Aarons curious eyes, his brother obviously hadn't realized he actually knew the man sitting next to him. "He's-" but he never got the chance to finish as mass began.

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I hate it when they start gabbin' in there." Aaron huffed as he followed his girlfriend through the crowd and out the church.

"That's the only reason most of them even come, it's the perfect chance for them to gossip openly." Ashlee added as she continued walking next to Eliot.

"Nate," Eliot started as they stopped outside of Aarons car. "this is Aaron my brother and Ashlee his girlfriend. You guys this is Nathan, he's a good friend of mine."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Nate shook both hands trying his best for likeable, and no he didn't want to impress his boyfriends family, he had just promised support and making a good impression counted as such.

"No offence to you," Aaron started addressing his question to Nate before turning it to Eliot. "but how do you leave the house madder than a hornet yesterday and then show up today with a friend?" He hadn't been expecting to see his brother anytime soon after the surprise they had been given let alone with company.

"Eliot didn't know I was coming to see him and when I found out he had plans for today I insisted he follow through with them, he was just nice enough to invite me to join him." Nate answered truthfully enough, they were obviously going the close friends route.

"Eliot!" Sarah called for her brothers attention as she got closer with her family.

"Where are your parents?" Ashlee wondered as the others gathered, she had been trying her best to make a good impression but they made her feel like she was a show pony not to mention the accusing stares that had her wanting to hide and it hadn't even been a full day yet!

"Mom stopped to talk to some lady she recognized, I didn't really pay attention." Sarah clearly looked annoyed by that. "But tell me you're still coming to dinner Eliot."

"I don't know Sarah," Her pout had him trying to justify himself. "I'm Nates ride." Okay so he might have used it as an excuse but it was true. He had told Nate church not a family dinner.

"He can come too." She pleaded, assuming her brother was talking about the man behind him.

"You don't even know him!" Did his sister honestly just invite a complete stranger into her house for dinner? He needed to talk to her about that.

"Sorry, how rude of me. I'm Sarah and this is my husband Peter and our children Rebecca and Brian." Sarah introduced hurriedly.

"Nathan Ford, but you can call me Nate." Nate was talking more to Pete at this point since Sarah obviously was trying to con her brother.

"Well Nate, would you like to have dinner with us so that the kids can spend Easter with their Uncle? You guys want Uncle Eliot to help you with your Easter egg hunt right?" Sarah asked Nate before getting her childrens opinions which were of course affirmative. She never claimed to be above guilt tripping if it got her something she needed.

"Sarah," Eliot growled, she knew he had a soft spot when it came to disappointing the kids and she took full advantage of that.

"It's just an invitation to spend the day with us Eliot. A simple no and I'll drop the subject." Sarah feigned innocence as she turned her best puppy eyes on Nate.

"I," They had never talked about going to his sisters and Nate was having a hard time reading Eliot with six other sets of eyes focused intently on him. He just hoped the look he was receiving right now was an apologetic one and not an accusing one. "would love too."

"Great, I'll just go find mom and dad and we can get going." Sarah exclaimed excitedly.

"We'll be by sometime before lunch."Eliot corrected making sure Nate knew it was time to make their exit. Seeing three freshly issued pouts Eliot sighed, "I'll be there in two hours." as he began making his way to his truck.

"See you then." Pete called as Nate too left.

"So is see you in two hours code for gettin' your things at the hotel and leavin' town just as fast as you can?"

"Nope, you agreed to go so you're going." Eliot answered Nate as he stuck his hand out in a silent request for his keys.

"Did you actually plan on going before I accepted your sisters offer?" Nate was trying to gauge Eliots reaction. There might have been a tiny part of himself that was selfish in agreeing to go but it was hard to curb his curiousity with the opportunity given, especially since it might finally lead him to crack the puzzle that was Eliot Spencer.

"I don't know, but there's no use in questioning it now because we're going." Eliot started the truck, pulling out of the parking lot. He knew exactly what Nate was doing and he planned on showing him that it worked both ways.

"So then why are we going back to the hotel?"

"I want to change out of this duck suit and get a little sleep." He might not sleep much but that went to further emphasize how important the time he did spend sleeping was.

"I like the look." Nate accented his words by pulling on Eliots tie. A nap was sounding really good right now and maybe even a hot shower to replace the quick one he had rushed through that morning. He and Eliot really needed to stop lying on the ground, he always had a hard time getting the leaves and twigs out of the back of his curls, not to mention the one time he ended up with, well he didn't even know what in there.

"You can have it then." Eliot threw the tie he had just finished removing at Nate before advising him of his newest discovery. "There's something in your hair."

Patting his head as he tried to find what Eliot was talking about he rolled his eyes as Eliot started laughing. Yeah, they really needed to stop doing that.

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><p><strong>EN: So there was no drama in this one but I figured I'd drag it out some, why have the fun finish before it's started. Plus we all know that Eliot would have just left again and metaphorical or not it isn't nice to start drama in church. lol Hope you enjoyed and thank boredom for giving you three updates in one week!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"What took you so long?" Sarah had the door open before her brother even had the chance to knock. He was half an hour late and the kids were starting to worry their Uncle Eliot wasn't going to show.

"Sorry, I had gotten in the shower and I guess I lost track of time." Glaring half heartedly at Nate, Eliot followed his sister inside, he didn't tell her that Nate had decided to join him in the shower and had made him lose track of time.

"I've got Ashlee and Pete setting the dinning room table right now and mom and dad are upstairs with the kids. Eliot you come help me with the chicken and well you just make yourself at home Mr. Ford." Sarah was a bit flustered, she justed wanted the day to go smoothly for everyone.

"I thought it was a dinner?" Nate whispered, he stayed quiet about Sarahs forward attitude as he didn't want to insult Eliot.

"Oh there will be, but Sarah does every meal on a holiday, no doubt she made a five course breakfast." Eliot whispered back. He made sure to give Nate a light push in the direction Sarah had gone letting him know that despite what his sister said he would be joining them in the kitchen. The last thing he needed was Nate running around unsupervised with his parents and brother on the loose.

"Is that made the same way Eliot does it?" Nate wondered looking at the beautifully golden birds that were being placed on a platter that was swiftly being covered by multitudes of colored vegetables. This was certainly not what he thought of when chicken came to mind.

"I hope not." Sarah snorted studying her brothers every movement cautiously.

"Why?" He had been lucky enough to taste that dish once and couldn't imagine why someone wouldn't want theirs to taste the same, he would never willingly die over food but if he was willing that would be the reason.

"He might be good at prep but his finished product sucks." Obviously this man hadn't tasted too many of Eliots home made meals.

Shrugging at the look Nate was giving him he didn't bother defending himself, his sister enjoyed cooking and caring for the family and if all it took was a few botched meals to make her happy he would gladly ruin more, maybe burn a cake, set a pan or two on fire, as long as she was good he could deal with a tainted reputation as chef.

"Thanks for the warning." Nate joked taking pleasure in the small scowl that had come over Eliots face.

"You're welcome." Sarah smiled, "Are you done Eliot?"

"Yeah" Eliot mumbled distractedly as he continued to poke at a potato that refused to stay in its assigned spot.

"Then you grab that, I'll take these," She lifted a basket of rolls and a bowl of stuffing. "And could you be kind enough to bring the caserole on the stove and the little yellow dish on the counter over there?" Sarah stated her question pointing with the bread basket to the exact counter she was talking about.

"Got 'em." Nate grabbed the caserole first seeing an actual caserole of some sort inside. He couldn't tell what kind it was but judging by the smell it was going to be good, balancing the bowl in the crook of his arm he tried his best not to drop it as he followed them out of the kitchen.

"Pete grab that." Sarah pointed to the bowl Nate seemed to be juggling as she put hers on the table.

"I got it." Nate declined as he put his dishes down. Eliot was centering his platter and he really couldn't place the look on his face, he didn't seem to be the same person that would walk in the office with that aura of danger that left you a bit fearful.

"What would you like us to do now?" Ashlee asked for her and Pete. She was holding on to the top of one of the chairs and trying to remind herself that this was Aarons family and she needed to be nice.

"I think we're about done," Sarah went over her mental checklist. "I'm just going to find Aaron and tell mom, dad and the kids that lunch is ready and we'll eat." She left the dining room, heels clicking on the hardwood.

"I'm not sitting next tou your parents!" Ashlee and Pete nearly yelled at the same exact time.

"Well neither am I." Eliot felt like they were ganging up on him. "I've dealt with them longer than either of you and I'm not gonna do it today."

Quickly sitting Ashlee and Pete took the first two of three seats on the left side of the table.

"That's fine by me, I don't want to be across from them either." Eliot grumbled as he took a seat at the card table that had been pushed to the edge of the dining table, it was a few inches shorter than the other but he knew this one was meant for Becca and Brian and the company would be better so he didn't mind.

"Are you seriously going to sit at the kids table?" Nate asked, his parents had to be pretty bad if they turned three grown adults into fifth graders fighting over spots on the lunch bench. Eliot just raised an eyebrow letting Nate know he was dead serious and also asking if he had a problem with it. He was going to say something but was interrupted by the rest of the families arrival. "Ma'am." Nate greeted Eliots mother instead, having yet to meet her. When all he was given was an appraising once over before she sat across from Pete, he clearly saw why they had just been bickering.

"Nice to see you could make it." Michael Spencer told his son sounding more like he just said, 'Eliot I hate your guts and just looking at you makes me sick'.

Looking at the one open seat next to Ashlee Nate turned to Brian speaking softly, "Hey buddy, how about you sit up there with all the other grown ups like a big boy." before he nearly lifted him out of his chair across from Eliot and gave him no choice but to sit there as he stole his spot.

"Nice" Eliot mouthed shaking his head and trying not to laugh at the miniature glare Brian was shooting Nate.

"Hi" Becca greeted happily.

"Hi" Nate offered in return a bit awkwardly. He turned to his left and was a bit surprised to see that not only was Brian still looking ready to kill him but he had gained the gazes of Eliots parents. Slowly breaking eye contact with Mr. Spencer Nate turned back toward Rebecca deciding that the mostly one sided conversation she had going with Eliot about her dolls was far more interesting than what was going on on the other side of him. "I don't know Eliot I'd have to agree with Rebecca there, purple dresses are nicer than pink ones." He finally threw in as he found a place to enter the conversation much to Eliots amusement. So they sat there ignoring the looks and comments with double meanings as they ate and talked about princesses and eventually dinosaurs when Brian learned that Nate had a collection as a kid and couldn't be angry with him anymore.

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"Eliot" Sarah came up behind Eliot and Nate who were talking quietly with the kids in the kitchen. They had originally gone in there to see if there was any cookies to steal, for the kids of course, but decided to stay in there when they heard Ashlee getting the third degree about not wanting to be a stay at home mother.

"Yeah" Eliot sat Becca on the counter as he went to the doorway where his sister stood.

"We're goin' outside to hide eggs, I just wanted to let you know so you could keep the kids occcupied." Sarah glanced at the man playing with her little girl before turning her gaze back to her brother.

"I thought you would have done that already?" He had never gone to Sarahs for Easter before but according to Aaron she did things the exact same way every year and he distinctly remembered receiving a letter from Brian last year about a detailed Easter egg hunt that happened right after church.

"They wanted to wait for you Eliot. Believe it or not you're really important to them." Sarah still didn't see why he found it so hard to believe that her kids loved him.

"We'll be out front when you're done." Eliot avoided his sisters eyes. He knew she meant no harm, none of them ever did, but some subjects just brought up memories that he'd rather forget. "Nate, Brian we're gonna go out front." Eliot informed over his shoulder.

"Make sure to put a coat on." Sarah called after her son who had already ran to the front door.

Lifting Rebecca off the counter Nate tried putting her down but she clung to his neck fiercely, he wasn't really comfortable with carrying her but she wasn't giving him much of a choice.

"Her sweaters by the door." Sarah stood to the side as Nate walked through the doorway. She didn't know why but her daughter had taken an instant liking to her brothers friend.

"G'on before they get to anxious." Eliot both ordered and excused. He knew his sister wanted to say more but he didn't really feel like hearing it.

"You ready?" Nate asked from his spot by the door. He had tried setting Becca down so she could put her sweater on but she refused to hear of it so he ended up having to juggle a very clingy child while putting on a sweater that of course had a complex button pattern.

Nodding Eliot took the lead in exiting the house, Brian quickly following. "Wait there." Eliot motioned for them to stop as he opened the door to his truck disappearing behind the seat for a moment. "This is for you," Eliot handed a gift bag to Brian, "and for the princess," he slowly revealed a lilac plush bunny.

"Cool" Brian exclaimed as he revealed a bright red remote control car.

Looking at Nates pleading eyes Eliot took pity on him removing Rebecca and placing her on her feet. "Go play with your toys on the porch."

"How did you do that?" Nate breathed as he watched them do exactly as they were told, he was about ready to start bribing the little girl.

"It wasn't that bad." Eliot answered the statement behind his question.

"I've got myself a miniature stalker." Smacking Nate in the chest Eliot rolled his eyes. "She likes you."

"You guys!" Pete called coming from the side of the house.

"Come on."

"You first." Eliot nudged Nate.

Stopping at the corner of the house Nate was met with a waiting Rebecca, eyes wide and pleading. Looking into those dark brown eyes Nate resigned himself to the little girl as he offered his hand grumbling, "Lets go."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Some news if you're looking for drama between Nate and Eliots parents, it wont happen. Or at least it isn't happening on Easter, I've got other plans for that blow up that I think will go really well and as for them figuring out that Nate and Eliot are in a relationship I don't know when that's happening but they all will know before the end of this story and as for the end of this story it will be just as long if not longer than spoiled celebrations. Now that that was said hope you enjoyed and that RL is being nice to everyone though it isn't toward me at the moment.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"I feel bad for your friend in there." Aaron and Eliot had found themselves a spot outside on the front porch swing.

"Maybe" Eliot thought about Nate who had just barely extracted himself from an eager Rebecca who had insisted on showing him everything she had gotten for the holiday to then be dragged into a conversation with their father.

"You're not gonna go help him out?" Aaron wondered as he shifted slightly to add to the slight rocking Eliot had started with the tip of his shoe.

"Nope, I've spent all day holding my tongue and trying to prevent a fight, if I go in there now it'll only cause trouble." Eliot sighed, he had a sort of mutual understanding going on with his parents, they pretended he didn't exist and he thought of them as all but dead.

"I can't believe how dirty those two have been playing it." Aaron knew his parents blamed Eliot for 'corrupting' them but they had been extra harsh today.

"They want me to leave, but it ain't gonna happen. I told Brian and Becca I'd stay until dinner and I'm not going to be made a liar by some half cocked insults and low blows." His parents were pissing him off but he had just as much right to be there as they did, if not more.

"They're making Ashlee uncomfortable too. I don't know why Sarah invited them but if she tries this again next year you and me are going to have to come steal the kids until she finds her missing marbles."

"I'm sure Pete will love that." Eliot laughed.

"He can come too. You know he doesn't like them either, if Sarah wants to keep on inviting them she better get used to making a dinner for three." Aaron loved his sister but sometimes she could really be stupid.

"So when are you planning on taking that step with Ashlee? We can't go sneaking off to your place for family holidays if you haven't made her part of the family yet." Eliot didn't really care if Ashlee was an official member of the Spencer family or not, he had spent years wishing he wasn't, he was just trying to get his question answered without being too blunt.

"I was going to ask her last night with everyone at dinner but then everything else went down and ... well it didn't happen." Aaron had gotten himself chewed out by Ashlee for not being his own man and going after Eliot like a brother should.

"Aaron ask her already. If she says yes after the hell mom's been puttin' her through today you'll be one lucky man, but I think you'd be better off asking her alone. She might kill you otherwise." Eliot could only imagine how great the fury would be from that woman if she was put on the spot so suddenly.

"I think I'll ask her tonight but trust me it won't be in front of mom and dad." Aaron could just imagine how that would turn out. "But what about you?"

"I've got no plans for marriage." Eliot huffed out a snort.

"That's not what I meant." He placed both feet firmly on the porch to stop the motion and grab Eliots full attention.

"Then what did you mean?"

"You don't bring just anyone around Eliot." Aaron said hoping he wouldn't really have to say.

"And?" Eliot had a feeling he knew where this was going and he wasn't sure how he felt about that but he wanted to know what his brother thought.

"I've been watching you and I've noticed that you've been watching your friend in there. Your eye is on him mainly when he's with Becca and at first I thought it was because you didn't trust him, but then why would you have brought him. So I payed closer attention and I still couldn't really figure it out but after Becca dropped her basket for what had to be the third time and he helped her pick everything up and then offered to carry it something in your eyes changed. The way you looked at him was different, it was like you were fond of him, like you took pride in his actions, almost as if it made you happy." Seeing that Eliot was looking a bit uncomfortable but not like he was going to say anything Aaron decided to just end their mutual discomfort and ask. "He's more than a friend isn't he?"

"And if he is?" Eliot was beyond denial, completely alert and looking for any signs of repulsion or negativity from the man sitting next to him.

"Well then don't fuck this one up."

"Why does everyone blame me!" It was the only thing he could think of saying, he was shocked that his brother had figured things out and hadn't freaked out. He had seemingly accepted things, possibly even approved and though he would never admit it the calm his brother was showing meant a great deal to him.

"Really Eliot," Aaron knew Eliot knew exactly why they blamed him. "but seriously are you," he paused trying to decide how to say what he was thinking, "with him?" Waiting to see if Eliot would answer he took a minute to really think about what he had learned. No, Eliot hadn't confirmed anything but his silence was saying it all, sure his brother always had girls nearly flinging themselves at him and no he didn't understand the whole situation but he wasn't about to ask. Between Eliot and his grandparents and despite what his parents said he was taught not to judge people by their short comings and differences and he wasn't about to do that to Eliot. His brother had done a lot for him and he decided that he wasn't going to form an opinion, if Eliot was happy he'd be happy for him. It wasn't like anything had changed anyway, as far as he could tell he was exactly the same. "It's hard finding the right person and if you think you have that keep it. You've worried about us and how we've been doing this whole time Eliot, but I'm settling and Sarah made her family so you just worry about you now. Do what you need to make yourself happy and you tell anyone who doesn't agree with it to go ta' hell."

"Thanks." That sounded like the same advice Nate had given him less then 3 weeks ago and he still wasn't sure what to do with it.

"And you're right," Aaron decided it was time to lighten the mood, "he does have pretty blue eyes."

"Shut up" Eliot playfully punched his laughing brother. He still wasn't sure how he felt about sharing that part of his life but he was glad to know it hadn't changed things between them. "And Aaron."

"It's your business Eliot and no one elses. What you do, who you see, and who you tell is all on you and that's how I'll keep it." He knew what was about to be asked of him and he wanted to make sure Eliot knew he didn't even need to ask. He wasn't going to break that trust especially not with a secret he had more stumbled onto than been entrusted with.

Nodding a little distantly Eliot took some time to gather his thoughts. "We better get back in there." The only person he had actually told was Hardison and that was almost against his will, the rest of the team did know but he hadn't really been around long enough to see how they reacted or felt about it. So if he decided not to say anything now it wouldn't really be wrong would it? He'd say something eventually but it wouldn't be today, not with his parents there and even though Ashlee seemed nice enough he had only known her for a day and Nate, well it would probably be better if he wasn't there when he told them.

"Yeah. I'll be surprised if they don't have Ashlee hiding in a closet by now."

Accepting the pat that was given to his back Eliot got up and pushed open the front door, it really was time to check on Nate. He wasn't worried about him but he knew first hand how strong the urge could get to deck his father and he wasn't sure how far Nate had let himself be pushed. Normally he'd actually enjoy that sight but there were impressionable kids in the house and he was going to do his best to make sure he and Nate stayed curtious for their sake.

"Aaron why don't you join us." Caroline patted the cushion next to her on the couch.

"Yeah Aaron, your mom was just asking me all about our plans for the future."Ashlee was sitting in the arm chair and not looking the least bit happy.

"I'd love nothing more than to discuss our future plans." Aaron didn't even bother hiding the sarcasm. He knew from experience that fighting with his parents was useless, it was like a bad cold, you just had to wait it out.

"Ashlee, have you seen Nate?" Eliot had left him in the livingroom but he wasn't now.

"I think he's in the kitchen but I'll gladly help you look for him." Ashlee nearly jumped out of her chair at the opportunity.

"That's all right dear, I'm sure he can manage on his own." Mrs. Spencer stopped her in her tracks.

Giving Ashlee an apologetic look Eliot left for the kitchen as she sunk back in her chair. "Nate?"

"I think he's upstairs with Becca." Sarah told her brother as she checked on the ham that was almost ready for dinner.

"He snuck away?" Eliot leaned against the counter, that didn't sound like Nate.

"No, more like I advised him to run. Dad got into his load of bull about the working man and all the political crap that comes with it and Nathan was actually giving it right back to him and even corrected some of his errors in judgement before things got a bit nasty."

"What happened?" That sounded exactly like the Nate he knew but he also knew his father.

"Well you know how Dads gotta be right about everything, after being questioned and corrected too many times he started tossing around rude comments and insults, after that I got Pete and Brian to find a way to entertain him and get him away from your friend. So yup, I'm pretty sure he's with Rebecca waiting for Dads tantrum to blow over." Sarah sighed playing with the pastry bag from her deviled eggs.

"What's wrong?" He could tell his sister had something else to say.

"You were right. I was so focused on the illusion of the whole family being together that I forgot how anal and petty they can be."

"Sarah" But she ignored him as she went on, "Mom actually went upstairs and changed Becca over some stain that I swear is microscopic if not non-existant and actually had the nerve to tell me that my daughter was in need of a bath. How do you tell someone their child is dirty while smiling, I mean who does that? And everyones uncomfortable around them, if mom doesn't scare off Aslee it will be a miracle. They've been acting like children all day and I honestly can't wait for them to go home, don't get me wrong I still want the kids to know their grandparents but I think we're better off if we go to their house to visit."

Hearing Sarah finally quit rambling he didn't really have anything to say since he was expecting her to go on longer so he just pulled her into a hug instead. "I'm sorry for yesterday, and everything else." She squeezed back as Eliots grip on her tightened, they both knew that sorry was apologizing for much more then their simple argument. "And Eliot?"

"Hmm"

"Please don't let me invite them back like this again."

"Oh me and Aaron already have a plan for that." He laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: So Aaron knows and we are one step closer to the family dinner which is bound to be fun!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Dinner's ready." He had been standing in the doorway of Rebeccas room for nearly five minutes now but couldn't seem to take his eyes off of the scene in front of him. Becca had the floor littered with barbies and apparently she had decided it a good time to change all their clothes but the real sight was Nate who was obviously playing hair dresser. His lap was covered in clips and scrunchies and he was struggling with a blue eyed blondes ponytail.

Jumping slightly as Eliot broke the semi silence they had been sitting in Nate embarrassedly tossed the doll to the side as he tried explaining. "I was just... She had asked me to.."

"Nate it's fine." Eliot laughed at his embarrassment. "Pete and I play with Becca all the time but you really do need to work on your hair skills." Eliot pointed to an especially bad looking business barbie whos hair was nearly standing straight on her head. "No self respecting woman would go out like that."

"Well I don't plan on making hair styling a habit." Nate grumbled as he pushed himself off the floral area rug with a bit of difficulty.

"That's good to know." Eliot took great amusement in Nates offense. "Becca lets go, you can play later." When she just ignored him Eliot opened his mouth to warn her but Nates hand on his arm stopped him from saying anything else.

Stooping in front of Rebecca Nate silently offered his hand to her and was glad to see she willingly put her doll down and accepted it, and if he was smirking just a bit to much when they stood well it wasn't because she had obeyed him and not Eliot.

"You're such a smug b-"

"Language." Nate had clamped a hand over Eliots mouth expecting the next word that was going to come out. What he hadn't expected was for Eliot to lick his hand. "That's disgusting!"

"Don't cover my mouth." Eliot gave his own smirk as he watched Nate repeatedly rub his hand over his pant leg.

"You guys comin'?" Aaron had gladly taken the job of finding the other three when his mother started talking about seating arrangements.

"Right now." Eliot started down the short hallway and past where his brother stopped going straight down the carpeted staircase, the others following.

"Eliot" Aaron stopped him right before they got to the open entrance of the dining room.

"Yeah?" Eliot asked as he gave Becca a nudge indicating her to continue on her way.

"Just thought I'd give you the heads up that dad took a seat at the head of the table." Aaron knew his father had only taken that spot to watch them in detail and scrutinize their every move.

"Of course he did." Eliot grumbled fighting the urge to roll his eyes, something about his parents being so close made him feel like that tired 15 year old he once was.

Nate gave Eliots shoulder a reassuring squeeze as they entered the dining room, he had been observing the whole family and had learned a few things; One, Eliot didn't seem like himself around his parents, two, Aaron looked to feel the same way, and three, Caroline and Michael Spencer looked down their noses when it came to their boys, especially Eliot. He noticed that they seemed to interact greatly with their grandchildren and wondered why they couldn't have done the same with their own three.

"Aaron come sit next to me." Caroline patted the only available seat left on the right side of the table, Ashlee was on her other side placed directly between his parents and looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Sure." He glanced longingly at the two open chairs before making his way around the "kids" table and to his spot in between his mother and Brian.

"I know we don't usually say grace but since this is the first time we've all been together in awhile and we've had the pleasure of spending this day with extended friends and future family," Sarah paused smiling at Ashlee. "I thought it would be nice to say a little prayer. So Eliot would you be nice enough to start us off and anyone else is welcome to add as they wish." She glanced to her right where all other eyes had fallen on Eliot as well.

"Umm.." Damn Sarah, he was going to kill her for putting him on the spot like that. "I don't know if-"

"I think you'd be better off starting it yourself Sarah, the boy never was very religous." Michael advised, he took his family to church every week and had the kids go to Sunday school but it didn't seem to have worked with his sons.

"Brian why don't you.."

"No Pete it's fine I've got this." Eliot wasn't going to stoop to his fathers level, he could do a simple prayer.  
>"In a world where so many are hungry may we eat this food with humble hearts; in a world where so many are lonely, May we share this friendship with joyful hearts; In a world where so many walk in fear, May we savor this happiness with faithful hearts. Lord we thank you for the shelter you have so kindly blessed us with, the life that you granted us to do as we so choose, and most importantly the love we have been given to share with family and friends but also to strangers so that they too can feel and spread your heart and hand. As we continue to celebrate with those that dwell with us may we count on you to protect the ones that you have taken home and will you ease the hurt for those of us who still mourn until we are all reunited in your kingdom and together once more." Eliot gave a slight pause thinking about Nate who he knew was thinking about Sam and the many other losses he had suffered that continued to haunt him day after day. "May we please you even more tomorrow than we have been able to do today and may we be forgiven when we don't reach that goal. In Christs name we promise, plead, and pray. Amen." As everyone echoed that response Eliot made the sign of the cross bringing his closed hand to his mouth and sending a kiss above, it was a gesture that brought back painful memories but it also showed his dedication and love to a certain someone.<p>

"That was beautiful." Ashlee praised as the family began passing dishes around the table.

"Thank you." Eliot had spoken from his heart, deep down he still liked to think there was a God and he knew that it was his fault his faith was shakey. As much as he would like to say God had turned his back on him he knew it was the other way around and that was where he and Nate were in the same boat, Were they skeptical or were they trying to punish themselves?

"Which book did you memorize that from?" Caroline asked, absent mindedly spooning green beans onto her plate.

"I didn't-"

"Pineapple?" Nate quickly offered seeing the heated color creeping on the back of the hitters neck signaling that he was losing his patience and with it his temper. Nate himself was annoyed with the woman, did she honestly think her son so daft that she couldn't even give him credit for a simple prayer?

"So Nate," Pete started up after he finished fixing Beccas plate. "Where do you know Eliot from? Are you one of the friends that he's going to be working with when he moves to Colorado?"

"Since when are you moving to Colorado?" Nate had turned completely in his chair forgetting everything else for the moment. How had Eliot not thought it relevant to tell him he had plans on moving across the country?

"I'm not." Could his day get any worse? Pete had once again opened his mouth at the worst moment and now he had the whole table paying attention to Nate who was acting like a lot more than a curious friend.

"Then why-"

"What Pete meant was if you were one of the friends that had offered him work." Aaron tried saving, he knew Pete didn't know but unintentionaly or not he had a feeling Eliot had just earned himself a spot in the doghouse. "You see we were talking about our jobs yesterday and Eliot had mentioned a few opportunities he had been presented with while in Colorado but he never said anything about moving."

"Well true but I think it's safe to assume he will move if he accepts the job." Pete was confused as to why Eliot was denying the same topic he had seemed eager about yesterday and why Nate had reacted so strangely to the news.

"So you're not happy with your current work?" It was meant to be a question but it left Nates mouth as more of an accusation.

"I'll figure all that out _LATER _when I talk to my boss but I don't think that is an appropriate topic for our current situation Nate." Eliot warned as he lightly pushed on Nates leg under the table silently asking him to turn back around in his chair, now was not the time or the place for that conversation.

"Right, later." Nate reminded himself more than anything else. He straightened himself out at the table reassuring himself that he would not currently be sitting here if Eliot really intended to just up and leave everything.

What their father said next caused Sarah to choke on her drink, Aaron to stab himself on the tongue with his fork, and Eliot to outright snort at the lie. "I never brought work home with me and I would appreciate it if you boys showed the same respect and courtesy." If that wasn't the biggest double standard.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"So what do you do for a living?" Nate asked Ashlee what he hoped to be a relatively safe question, everything that had been said so far had been sneered upon and bickered about.

"Well I'm currently a dental assistant but I'm hoping to start towards a degree this fall, maybe even chase that dream of becoming an architect." Ashlee was happy for the interruption, she was trying to be a good guest but she was finding it very hard to not just screw her manners and leave, and they weren't even halfway through dinner yet!

"You manage to become an architect and we're starting our own business." Aaron looked past his mother and straight to Ashlee letting her know he was completely serious. "Between us and our combined skills it would be to good of an opportunity to pass up."

"You make it that far call me and I'll gladly invest." Eliot offered, he had so much money it literally held no real value to him anymore so if he could give them financial support so be it. He already had funds for the kids and did his best to make sure the rest of them weren't wanting for anything or building up to much debt. It didn't replace him being absent most of the time but it made him feel slightly less guilty knowing his loved ones wouldn't have to stress over car payments or other bills he could easily take care of.

"How on earth do you expect her to take care of your family if you go into business with her?" Michael asked his son as he tried to wrap his head around the idea.

"Dad what decade are you in? You raised your family in the 80's, you should no that no woman stays at home like that anymore and I don't expect Ashlee too." Aaron refused to let his father show that level of disrespect with his pigheaded thoughts about a womans "place" and especially not to Ashlee.

"Your sister did and any other self respecting woman would too, not like those girls who drop their children off at sitters because they're to lazy to handle their responsibilities." Caroline felt that woman like that were just no good and down right selfish.

"I actually have been thinking of getting certified in something, Becca is starting school soon enough and we don't have any immediate plans on extending our family in the near future so I don't really see the need for me to stay at home all day anymore." Sarah brought the attention over to her side of the table and away from Aaron and Ashlee.

"I think that's a ridiculous idea Sarah. You're 30 years old and you're thinking nows the time to abandon your family." Michael was clearly disappointed in his daughter.

"I'm not-"

"Honestly dear if you wanted to have a career you should have thought about that before getting married and having children." Caroline chastised, nearly nine years of marriage wasn't something to just waist.

"Try for a degree instead, certification is a waist of time if you ask me." Eliot advised his sister completely ignoring the idiots his parents were currently being.

"I just might do that." Sarah agreed as she pushed her fork around her plate, she had forgotten how easily her parents tended to put her down.

"Take any interesting trips lately?" Pete asked no one in particular trying to get rid of the uncomfortable silence that had settled.

"Aaron took me to see your grandmother the other day." Ashlee told mainly Eliot and Sarah as she poured herself a bit more wine.

"He honestly didn't drag you all the way out there did he?" Caroline thought it a waist to take a four hour trip to see a gravemarker.

"No I didn't but seeing as she is your mother you should make it out to pay your respects to Grammy sometime." Aaron told her as he pushed his plate away, it was time for him to excuse himself and try to salvage the rest of his night with Ashlee.

"He said it was your Bubby." Ashlee continued not realizing Aaron was getting ready to leave. "We stopped on our way out so Aaron could pack some extra mulch around the flower that's out there to soak up all that extra water that'll be comin'. "

"You planted that?" Sarah was surprised to hear her brother had skill in anything that resembled gardening. She had been the only one that really held onto the lessons they had learned about growing their own food but he had been the only one of the three that had been so bad with plants that Bubby had actually tossed him out of the garden.

"Nope, but someone took the time to so I figured it's the least I could do to repay the favor. I even tried planting some other things out there but none of them lasted, not even the fern." Aaron shook his head at the memory of his fern not being dead but just completely gone.

"It was an ugly ass fern." Eliot whispered to Nate who tried not to laugh. He had a comical image of Eliot sneaking in and pulling up plants just as fast as Aaron could plant them running through his mind.

"Are you talking about Beth?" Michael sounded more like he was interrogating than asking.

"Yeah I believe it was something along the lines of Elizabeth." Ashlee unintentionally scooted back in her chair at the harshness coming from her right.

"That woman was a no good and certainly no blood of ours." Caroline scolded Aaron, just the thought made her skin crawl.

"Brian take your sister upstairs." Nate ordered the little boy, it may not have been his place but he didn't think the kids should be witness to the ticking time bomb he could clearly see counting down.

"Do as he says." Pete agreed already sending Becca to the doorway.

"She was nothing but kind to us and what does blood have to do with anything!" Sarah felt herself being not only angered but insulted as well.

"She was a Bitch, that's what she was!" Caroline couldn't stand Beth, she had been nothing but trouble from the moment they had met.

"WELL SHE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE!" Aaron finally snapped.

"DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT!" Michael pushed himself to his full height.

"IF YOU CAN CALL HER THAT!" Aaron snorted as he too stood.

"I dedicate my life to you three and this is the thanks I get." Caroline couldn't believe the disrespect her children were showing and all over some half baked foreigner.

"You didn't give a damn about us, just the image we made in your social circle!" Sarah decided to finally let out what she had been failing at forgiving her parents for.

"I went to work everyday to provide for my family and your mother always put you first. We even made sure to spend every weekend with just the family so don't you dare say we didn't care!" Michael shoved his chair into the table feeling his anger bubble.

"If by spending the weekend together you mean watching mom sneak off to the beauty shop after you left for your morning golf game, leaving the nine year old to fend for himself, a four and two year old then yeah we had awesome family weekends." Eliot let out a bit of his own bitterness though he remained sitting, he wasn't at all intimidated.

"I never-"

"NEVER DID? YEAH RIGHT MOM! WE HAVE MORE MEMORIES OF ELIOT AND BUBBY THAN WE DO EITHER OF YOU! WHY'D YOU EVEN BOTHER HAVING CHILDREN THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT AROUND?" Sarah choked a mix of anger, sadness, and a bitter edge sitting in her throat.

"This is your fault!" Michael glared at Eliot.

"Yup, completely my fault." Eliot agreed with sarcasm. He was beyond mad but ragging emotions caused stupid mistakes and he had learned the hard way that was not a price he wanted to pay.

"You took them around that woman, you corrupted them with your lies! You damaged them!"

"That woman gave them more attention in a day then you did in a month and I never said a word against either of you. I taught them to be their own person and whatever opinions they have of you were formed with the evidence you provided."

"Ashlee why don't we just go check on the kids." Pete could see she was grateful for the out, this was obviously at least 20 years build up and they had no place in that.

"I'll just-" Nate began to excuse himself feeling like he didn't have the right to this much of Eliots personal life but was surprised when Eliot grabbed his arm forcing him to stay.

"I didn't provide them with-" but Eliot cut his mother off not being able to resist the opportunity she had given him. "That's right you didn't provide for them at all, neither of you did, I raised your children while you lived in your fantasy. I was the only boy around who missed baseball tryouts to help his sister with her homework, who skipped football practice because Aaron needed to learn how to tie his shoes.

But you're the ones who lost out and you get to face yourselves everyday and know that you don't get any of the credit for what they've become." Eliot huffed. "In all honesty did you think putting a roof over our heads was enough, that feeding us was enough? There are shelters that do the same! You ignored us completely, barely acknowledged that we existed yet you want us to be grateful. You might not have hit us but I can near guarantee you that your abuse was worse, yet here you are trashing the one person we had close enough that even cared."

"I tried my best but nothing ever pleases you does it?" Caroline shook her head at the accusations of her oldest.

"You think things were so easy, that you did so well. What exactly are you taking credit for?" Michael gave a good once over to each of his children.  
>"You are nothing, you've wasted your life. You've got no family, no career, and are probably lucky to be employed right now. How does my eldest spend his time, all mystery and secrets, you're probably a career criminal right?<br>Or is it Aaron I should be focusing on? Mediocre job that he has no prospects of advancing in, a second rate woman he probably picked up in a bar somewhere, and ten years on his own with nothing to show for it." Ignoring Aarons angry rant he continued, "It's Sarah though right? She's the one I should feel guilty for, marrying the first loser that showed interest in her. Having two-" but he didn't get to finish as Eliot had jumped out of his chair sending it flying across the room, pinning his father to the wall in seconds flat.

"You wanna say something about us fine. You wanna talk about secrets and secondhand women be my guest but if you even use just one word against those kids I swear I might forget who you are and remove your tongue." Eliot growled deep and low arm pinned against his fathers throat. He wasn't going to allow his father to verbally attack them kids like that, not when he was there and could perfectly well do something about it.

"Eliot let him go." Surprisingly enough it was Nate making this request as he pulled on his arm to drag him away from the other man. Everyone else seemed completely stunned by what Eliot had just done.

"So lets share those secrets and second hand woman." Eliot lifted his chair and sat back down as if nothing had happened. "They're old enough now, I think they can handle what I've been accused of telling them all along."

"You shut your mouth boy!" Michael yelled though slightly warry now.

"Oh how familiar that sounds, almost like the first time I heard it." He laughed. "So did you start up with the secretaries yet, they're nearly disposable now. Or are you still working on business partners cause I doubt you're giving fidelity a try." Eliot knew it was a low blow but he didn't care.

"You cheated on mom?" Maybe it shouldn't have been a shock but it was, her father always claimed to be a good hearted family man.

"Eliot that is between me and your father." Caroline tried her best for stern but it felt more broken.

"Between the three of us actually and I think 23 years is to long to keep something like this between the three of us, well four if you count your bottle. Do you still hide it in the kitchen or do you openly drown your sorrows when you start thinking about the loser your still married to?" Now he felt extremely guilty for the water that started to shine in her eyes, but in a slightly twisted way he was glad she was finally hurting the way he had.

"Caroline get your things we're leaving." Michael ordered as he stormed out.

A moment later they heard the front door slam and a car speed away. They remained where they were silently pondering everything that had been revealed and their thoughts on it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"We had the right to know." Aaron finally broke the silence that was near deafening.

"You did," Eliot agreed as he stretched in his chair trying to expel the heavy discomfort that had settled. "but it wasn't my place to tell you and I shouldn't have said anything now."

"You still haven't said much of anything!" Sarah disagreed. "I found out yesterday that Dad threw you out and now this! What else have you been keeping from us, ...from me?"

"He threw you out?" Aaron was completely disbelieving.

"None of that matters anymore, we're good and that's all that's important." Eliot hated himself when he had to lie and squirm his way out of questions that they deserved answers to.

"How can you say it doesn't matter! I listened to Sarah cry herself to sleep for months, I hated you for being so selfish and leaving us behind! They let us believe that and we've never been the same!" Aaron once again rose from his chair mad that Eliot didn't seem to care about the damage their relationship had taken because of that lie.

"Aaron I'm sorry." Eliot really did mean it and he knew the three of them would never be as close as they once were but he couldn't change what had happened.

"But that's the point Eliot, you're sorry for something that wasn't your fault. We placed all that on you when we should have been pissed at mom and dad." Sarah turned straight to Eliot with watery eyes, she felt extremely guilty.

"Where would we all be if that hadn't happened? Where would you be right now?" Aaron asked as he walked past Nate and leaned on the back of the chair Sarah was sitting on.

"Listen to me," Eliot made direct eye contact being completely serious. "We are exactly where we're supposed to be. Sarah you're livin' your dream, all you ever wanted was a family and you've got it. Aaron what did you always tell me when I asked what you were doin' with your life?"

"That I was gonna be my own boss." Aaron relented seeing where his brother was going.

"And look how close you are to reaching that goal with Ashlee, so you two promise me something. I want all of us to drop this right now, dwelling on it hasn't done any good and it's about time we leave all that in the past where it belongs. Got it?" Eliot himself knew he should have dropped it a long time ago but with how personal it was he had been blinded by pure anger. Now that everything had been hashed though he was hoping to follow his own advice.

"What about you though?" Sarah wondered as she tried to calm herself.

"I've never wanted anything more than ta' watch you two succeed and be happy." Eliot stood pulling Aaron closer and Sarah from her chair.

"You're right." Aaron agreed.

"Promise" Sarah whispered almost childishly.

"Good" He pulled them both into a hug not sure how things would go but happy that for the first time in years he felt none of the barriers that had been built between them. "Now you go get your girl and ask her what you should have months ago." Eliot gave Aaron a shove in the right direction. As he placed a kiss to Sarahs cheek he whispered, "Things are going to happen how they will so don't waste your time worrying over things beyond your control. You forget about everything else right now and just be happy with your family and if you want to fix things between you and mom then I'll support you in that, just don't go looking for a place to blame it's a waste of your effort."

Sarah pulled back nodding her agreement. "I'm just going to go check on everyone upstairs."

"Alright" Eliot let her leave hearing the silent request for a moment of space.

Nate had been silently debating himself on whether to stay or not and had almost left deciding to give them privacy when he was frozen to his spot by Aarons question. Where would Eliot be had he been allowed to continue living with his parents?

Would he have taken the same path or would he have stayed with his siblings and continued his education?

Would he be the Eliot Spencer he came to love despite all the secrecy and flaws or would he be an Eliot Spencer that had his own ranch with a cute little wife and a yard full of kids?

"What ya' thinking about?" Eliot had turned around expecting curious eyes or questions, not for Nate to look completely spaced out and in his own little world.

"You" Nate pulled himself from his thoughts and to Eliot.

"What about me?" Eliot turned and started gathering things deciding to clear the table.

"You really didn't have any dreams of your own? No goals or ambitions?" Nate too picked up the dishes he had used as he followed Eliot to the kitchen.

"One, but it's unobtainable in the long run."

"And that would be?" Nate was skeptical of the way Eliot had nearly shrugged it off as he leaned against the counter.

"Survival. No one can survive forever and for every today we have there's a tomorrow that will follow it and eventually one of those tomorrows will be my last."

"Really, you never wanted to be a cowboy or maybe a firefighter?" Of course Eliot had already resigned himself to death, he knew Eliot believed he deserved it but he had plans to make him change his mind.

"I spent most of the summer when I was eight pretending to be an indian." Eliot laughed, he didn't know what Nate had been expecting but men like him couldn't afford to have pipe dreams.

"I should have known, it's very fitting. You'd be like what, head chief?" Nate claimed the spot right next to him, sides touching. He enjoyed how they could be in each others company for hours and not be at a loss for words, yet they had barely shared anything, well up until now.

"I'd be a warrior." Eliot offered with a sense of humored cockiness.

Nate turned the tiniest grabbing Eliots hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. "You are a warrior, you're my warrior."

"Eliot!" Sarahs voice broke the moment and Nate hurriedly pulled back preventing the kiss he would have received but was plesently surprised when Eliot pulled him back with the hand he had been holding.

"Eliot" Nate breathed pressing against his chest and breaking the kiss that Eliot was intent on deepening. Sarah was searching for her brother and this would not be the best way to find them.

"Not telling her is one thing but openly hiding is another Nate. You told me to do whatever made me happy and at the moment that's you. I'm not ashamed of you and I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not for Sarahs benefit, Aaron took it in stride and if she can't then that's her problem." Eliot leaned in once again annoyed that Nate backed up.

"You told your brother?" He was shocked and he wasn't even sure if it was in a good or bad way.

"No, he stumbled onto it but it's actually not bothering me as much as I thought it would." Eliot shrugged as he reached out to pull Nate back.

"Why didn't you deny it?" He knew Eliot had a hell of a poker face, he wouldn't be alive if he didn't.

"We've had a pact going since Aaron was three that we don't lie to each other. Secrets cause trouble and I don't want that for us so I try my best to stick to the pact, I don't lie to them unless it's absolutely necessary and I have no other choice." Eliot found himself laughing as Sarah once again yelled, was she even looking?

"Well I think the night's been exciting enough for the poor girl without you throwing us on top." So he might have been buying himself some time as well but so what.

"I don't plan on saying anything tonight. I just wanted you to know that I'm willing to open up for you, that I'd be willing to risk some rocky water with my family for you. If you're willing to be that vulnerable with me than maybe the third time really will be the charm." Nate was about to ask what he meant by that when Sarah interrupted.

"Eliot I've been calling you!"

"Well I don't know how you didn't find us if you were actually looking." Eliot turned back to the sink ignoring their questioning eyes, soon enough they would both get answers.

"I just wanted to let you know Aaron left." She moved out of the way as Nate excused himself with the pretence of clearing the rest of the table.

Eliot nodded not turning away from the dishes he had started. "What was it you told me we needed to talk about yesterday?" She remembered vaguely but was to distracted with everything else to bother asking until right now.

"It'll hold until next year." As he grabbed a towel he turned to Sarah, "but I think it's time for me and Nate to get going."

"At least stay for pie." Sarah pouted.

"We'd love too." Nate answered putting the last of the dishes on the counter.

"Nate-" Eliot began to protest but was cut off.

"I want pie and I know for a fact you wont leave without me."

"I think I like you." Sarah smiled pulling Nate with her out of the kitchen.

"Great" Eliot grumbled as he turned back around to finish the task he had started. The last thing he needed was for Sarah and Nate to get cozy and start tag teaming him.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: I had fun writing this though it took FOREVER for some reason, hope you enjoyed reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

"I'm gonna have to call Aaron tomorrow and see how everything went. Knowing him he lost his nerve and I'll have to go down there to kick some sense into him. Sarah was always the one to set goals and actually see them through, but I think he'll manage with this one, Ashlee means alot to him.

I think they'll be good together, maybe I'll even go to the wedding. I missed Sarahs. Don't want to be bringin' them trouble though, try to limit the visits to three or four times a year with calls and letters in between. No need for my past to be their punishment." Eliot had been rambling about bits and pieces since they left his sisters but he stopped figuring he had bored Nate who was staring out the window with unnervingly empty eyes.

In his attempt to pull Nate out of whatever funk he had fallen into he changed topic knowing for a fact Nate would show interest. "Where did you want to go? I probably messed up your other plans but I'm sure you got back up. Right? You pick the spot I'm there." When the vacation Nate had been talking about for nearly two weeks didn't even stir him Eliot knew he must be in trouble.

"If this is about Colorado I swear I'm not moving Nate. I don't announce what we do to everyone and a friend just let me know about a few jobs that were going around. Sure my fingers get a little itchy sometimes but don't listen to Pete he's got a mouth he never knows when to shut." Receiving nothing but silence Eliot found himself growing annoyed, he could receive a snippy reply at least.

"Do you honestly think I wouldn't talk to you first, that I would just up and leave?" Still receiving no response he angrily swerved into the first available spot and parked his truck, turning his full attention on Nate. "It can't even be about Colorado though because things were fine between us right before we left Sarahs. What did I do in the last 25 minutes that was so bad you wont even talk to me?" The only things to be heard were the outside traffic and their mingled breathing.

"What the hell Nate, are you honestly giving me the silent treatment?" It wasn't only words though, he wasn't even receiving any of Nates attention.

"You know what," He breathed deeply as he reeled in the anger that was beginning to show, he and Nate couldn't be fighting constantly if they planned on lasting long term. "I'm going for a walk. The hotels a few blocks straight ahead and when I get there you and me are going to have a talk, one with actual friggin' words." The added time and fresh air would give him a chance to collect himself and maybe even figure out what was up with Nate.

Hearing the door slam Nate shook himself out of a mix of memories and nightmares confused to what had happened, he hadn't heard a word said. He had been trying to stay a-float in a sea of sadness and his own depressing thoughts. Grabbing the keys from the ignition he quickly undid his seatbelt with the intent on finding out what had happened and why Eliot had just abandoned him in the truck.

"Eliot!" The man had already made it up a block and he really didn't know how it was possible to be so quick. "Eliot, wait!" He kept on going showing no signs of having heard.

"ELIOT! ! !" Stopping Eliot slowly began to turn, of course Nate would nearly demand his attention after ignoring him completely but if Nate wanted to talk then he was at least going to come to him.

The last shout had been a warning, one Eliot obviously did not receive as he turned around. Eyes widening in shock and disbelief Nate took off on a full speed run, panick settling heavy in his chest. This couldn't happen to him not again.

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**10 p.m. Boston, Nates appartment**

"I'm bored." Parker whined as yet another movie ended. She had come by around lunch to bother Nate only to find him gone.

"Well I'm out of ideas Parker." Hardison sighed as he flipped off the big screen. Parker had called him around one saying it was an emergency and to get to Nates fast, when he arrived he received the same declaration of boredom and was ordered to do something about it. They had played video games, talked about past cons, both theirs and the ones of others and what they would have done differently. He had even hacked her some highly secure blue prints to study and ended all that with a three hour movie marathon and she still wasn't content.

"Where do you think he is?" Parker switched topic abruptly.

"Who?" Hardison was trying to follow but he was exhausted after eight full hours of Parker.

"Nate" Parker rolled her eyes at how oblivious Hardison could be.

"He's probably with Eliot." Hardison shrugged, not really worried.

"Why would he be with Eliot?"

"Why wouldn't he be," Sophie joined the conversation with a bowl of popcorn. "He gave us all time off so why wouldn't he spend his with his boyfriend? Only the two of you would spend your vacation time at your boss' house."

"Really Sophie, Are you not standing in Nates living room right now?" Hardison was nearly rolling in sarcasm. Sophie had joined them for a late dinner and had stayed for the movies.

"I'm waiting for Stan to call." She shrugged off his accusation as she sat next to Parker, passing the bowl. "He said he'd call at eight but he tends to forget about time zones so it'll probably be more like eleven."

"What does that have to do with you being here?" He wasn't mad just trying to get his point across. She was nagging them while sitting in the same exact boat. "Let me guess, this is the only place his calls connect. Right?"

"But what if he's not? Eliot left over a week ago and Nate just disappears, no one's seen him since Friday. How do we know something didn't happen to him?" Parker interrupted the squabble she knew was about to start as she shared the worry that had been keeping her from relaxing.

"Parker don't worry, it's not very shocking for Nate to keep us out of the loop. I'm sure he's just being his usual inconsiderate self." Sophie was slightly surprised that Parker was the one to be showing discomfort at their leaders absence.

"What's shocking is how they're acting." Hardison came back from the kitchen, his own snack and soda in hand.

"How so?" Her interest was peeked.

"When Eliot told me about their relationship you know it was weird, but I was going to be supportive so I started preparing myself for the changes that were sure to come. Where are they?"

"What were you expecting?" Parker had been drawn away from her thoughts and into their conversation.

"I don't even know, some kind of change though. I was watching them the other day and I just dont see it, if I didn't know and one of you told me I'd never believe you." Hardison was glad to see Sophie nodding in agreement, apparently he wasn't alone in his feelings. "Almost like a prank in bad taste."

"But the real question," Sophie spoke with clarity automatically gaining her friends' undivided attention. "is that how they really interact with one another or is it a show for our benefit, and if so how do we let them know they're free to express themselves as they wish without fear of judgement on our parts?"

"I don't think you guys are looking right. It would actually be worse if I saw them hugging and hand holding, now that would be creepy." Parker shuddered at the thought. She didn't know why they were complaining about things not changing.

"How aren't we looking right?"

"It's like when you're hacking Hardison, there's got to be a certain code and you've got to know what you're looking for."

"So what aren't we looking for Parker?" Sophie was feeling her skills take a bit of a blow, she made her living on reading people yet Parker was claiming to have seen something she missed.

"Well not all of us show affection so easily, but if you really watch you can see it. I doubt either of them realise the changes they've made and that's why you haven't either. Like when Eliot would end up in a fight, Nate would tune it out and keep on going with whichever part of the job he had been working, but now he actually listens. Concentrates on every little noise made, just waiting for one misplaced breath to drop everything and come to Eliots aide.

He actually accepts more of our ideas now and his drinking has beyond lessoned, it's his own personal way to tell Eliot he's trying. Eliot does the same. He isn't as obvious but now he's actually around, he doesn't take off right after the jobs done, he sticks around and that's how he lets Nate know he cares. That Nate is important enough to him that he doesn't mind giving him his free time." Maybe they'd yet to notice because she had seen most of this before they even knew but it was still visible even now. Looking at the stunned faces of her friends and co-workers Parker found herself becoming self conscience. "What?"

"That was deep." It was probably rude but Hardison didn't think Parker had that in her, she really did deserve more credit than she was usually given.

"Well I'm not an idiot."

"No you're not." Sophie agreed not wanting Parker to feel insulted. "You didn't read their emotions or body language, you read their characterization. That can take months of observation and is a hard skill to master, I'm impressed." Sophie found herself smiling like a proud mother, she hadn't bothered delving to deep with any of the team trying to respect boundaries and not really interested since there'd be no reward but she was glad Parker had picked up one of her tricks.

"I can relent to what you said, it's probably true but I still think somebody should talk to them about expression. The only thing I've seen them show one another is anger and that can't be healthy." Hardison moved on trying to avoid the boasting he knew would be coming from Parker.

"I've seen them expressing themselves and it sure didn't look like anyone was angry to me." Parker smirked, that would teach Hardison to act as if she was a twit.

A phone ringing stopped Sophie from sating her curiousity which Hardison was thankful for. "It's not me." Sophie was clearly disappointed by that.

"It's Nate." Hardison read the caller I.d., a bit creeped out that their main topic was calling.

"Well answer."

"Hey Nate we were just... they're right here, I'll put it on speaker... ... ... Alright." Seeing the amusement slowly fade from the Hackers face and him making no move to make the call heard for all, the girls stopped with their whispered gossip focusing completely on Hardison.

"Man what's wrong? ... Nate what happened? ... Ok, we're on our way." Hardison hung up in complete disbelief, only Eliot and Nate could possibly find so much trouble.

"On our way where?" Parker asked Hardison who had obviously forgotten about them, currently lost in some activity on his phone.

"We got an hour to get to the airport." Hardison finally let out as he secured them seats for the next available flight.

"He didn't honestly find a job to pull while on vacation did he?" Sophie offered hoping it would turn out to be so, she didn't like the weight of emotion that had appeared in Hardisons eyes.

"Naw Sophie," Hardison sighed, he had been left with the task of bearer of bad news. "I wish he had but he didn't. We're going to Oklahoma, I'll explain on the plane." He hurriedly added as Parker began with questions. He needed time for things to sink in, he didn't know if that would make it better or worse when it came time to explain but that was what he needed.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: So neither of those were cliffies, just scene cuts :) Really. No Really. (Sighs) Okay don't believe me :( Next, what's up with Hardison? I thought he had things all worked out last story. I guess he didn't absorb anything or maybe he was just looking without seeing. Aw well, I'll fix him.  
>So I was going back through SC to make sure I'm holding strong on my back story and I just had to laugh. Some of the mistakes I made back there were hilarious and I'm proud that you've all stuck by this series. I'll be first to admit those mistakes and even point them out and though I'm still no where near perfect I'm proud to say I've felt myself improving as a writer and will continue to do so by doing no other than giving you more of this story. Hope you enjoyed!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Lawton, Oklahoma**

"Did Nate update you on his condition?" Sophie wondered as they made their way through the hospitals hallways.

"He barely said anything Soph," Hardison was keeping a close eye on Parker who had turned in on herself since the news. "I think he was in shock. All I got for sure was that Eliot got hurt and was in the hospital and we needed to get down here quick. Then he started rambling about a drunken idiot and not wanting Eliot to be alone."

"That's the part that doesn't fit." Sophie shared the thoughts that had her puzzled and more than a little worried. "How does some drunk get the upper hand on Eliot?"

"Eliot wouldn't come to the hospital for a simple bar brawl." Parker nearly whispered, Eliot being in the hospital meant it was probably not willingly and that scared her. "He must be really bad."

"Parker I'm sure he's fine." Sophie was trying to comfort her but she wasn't buying it herself.

"Knowing El he's probably found himself some hot nurse to give him a sponge bath." It was supposed to make her smile but Hardison watched as she tensed even more.

"Nate never loses control of himself." Parker shook her head vehemently. "If he lost control then it's . . . Oh God, he's not dieing is he?" Her eyes had gone wide and watery with fear.

Not knowing how to answer Hardison did the next best thing and pulled her into a hug. He himself had never been fond of hospitals and the more he tried to reassure her the more she frightened him.

"Look," Sophie pointed out the waiting room where one very nervous looking Nate sat, head in his hands leg bouncing uncontrollably. "Lets go find out what happened for ourselves."

"Nate" Hardison watched him nearly jump out of his chair from the surprise of Sophie patting his shoulder.

"You're here." He sounded almost as if he was talking to himself. "That's . . . good, I'm just going to . . . the doctor will be . . . I, I gotta . ." Nate didn't even bother finishing those thoughts as he quickly left.

"I'll go after him. You watch Parker and wait here, I think Nate meant a doctor was coming." Her heels clicking on the tile was what she concentrated on, everything else pushed to the side. It was clear that everyone elses emotions had gotten the better of them so she'd have to take the lead on things and not let herself fall apart, at least not until she knew what was going on.

She found him breathing heavily against the wall as he waited for the elevator. "What happened Nate?"

Looking up he blew out a long breath as he tried to figure what had indeed happened. "I called him," He could hear his own shouts still ringing in his ears. "and he turned around and I . . . I shouldn't have done that." Sophie didn't understand but she kept quiet as he continued. "It's my fault, he wouldn't be here right now if I would've just let him go." Nate had held Eliot close on that dirty street, seen his loves eyes roll back and felt as he went limp, a moment he knew would soon be haunting his dreams.

"You need to calm down and start from the beginning." Sophie advised as she pulled him to a chair. "How did Eliot get hurt?"

"I wasn't paying attention on the drive to the hotel so I'm not sure what he said," He shrugged, beyond angry with himself. "something pissed him off and he got out of the truck. I went after him to figure out what I missed and. . . and everything else went by really quickly.  
>I remember him starting to cross the street and I was calling for him, I tried warning him but then he turned and he saw it too, there was a car and it didn't plan on stopping.<p>

It was too late though, he tried getting out of the way but he didn't make it and all I could do was watch as his head bounced off of the black top like some sort of ball." He shuttered at the memory. "There was so much blood Soph, his hair was coated, his leg, it was. . it was everywhere."

"What about the person that did this?" Revenge was a good thing to focus on when your imagination was offering you pictures of one of your best friends' brain matter painting a random cities road.

"He crashed not even a block up from where he hit Eliot. It was some twenty somethin' kid that thought it a great idea to get plastered before testing out his new car." The rest of the night had melded together in his mind and he wasn't clear on how he'd ended up in the hospital, let alone how he knew the drunken driver was already locked up and in the process of being charged.

"Do you know how he is?" She was glad Parker wasn't hearing this, the shake to Nates voice was enough to leave even her uneasy.

"They took him away a few hours ago." Nate got up from his seat attacking the elevator button with a renewed frenzie.

"You can't leave him alone Nate!" She had to forcefully pull him away from the newly opened lift.

"That's why I called you!" He pulled away looking for the stairwell, he didn't think he'd be able to wait for the next stop.

"That's not the same Nate! Without you he's still alone, you're the one that knows him best!" She wasn't going to allow him to leave. He was the one that the doctors would talk to, who had made up the backstory, he was the one that Eliot would be looking for if, no when he pulled through.

"You don't understand . ." Nate shook his head rubbing his palms repeatedly to rid themselves of invisible stains on the scrubs he had been given. "I've got to get out of here!"

"I understand your adversion to hospitals but you need to have that breakdown some other day. Right now you need to be here, Eliot needs you here."

"It's not the damn hospital Sophie!" He yelled near hysterics, she couldn't possibly know what he was going through.

"Then what? Explain things so I can understand." She kept her distance as not to crowd him but she stayed close.

"I changed but it wasn't enough, I can still feel the wet warmth." He spoke softly as he pressed his back against a wall just in time to slide down it. "I need to wash it away, his blood's on my hands, my arms, it feels like it's seeping into my chest Soph."

"I promise there's no blood, it's only fear and the only way you'll get rid of that feeling is if you face it." Sophie had kneeled next to him, claiming his hand to stop him from rubbing it raw in the process of trying to remove a tarnishment only he could see.

"If I don't remove it soon it's gonna become permanent. If something happens to him before I get it off it's not ever going to go away." The guilt was already consuming him, this time he wouldn't try to drown himself, this time Eliots blood would drown him and he knew it was just a matter of time because he could already feel it pouring into his soul.

"Lets go find you a place to clean up." She would humor him for now, help him to calm down and pull himself together but she would not allow him to run away. They were a family and that stood for both the good and bad, the easy and hard, she'd make sure of that.

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"He was wearing scrubs." Parker refused to sit, to nervous to be still.

"I noticed." He wasn't sure if she was speaking to him or aloud so he decided to answer neutrally.

"There's only a few reasons hospitals give them out." She continued wishing there was a window in the "room".

"Parker it's Eliot we're talking about, the man's probably calculating the distinctive traits of his doctors by now." He refused to believe that anything less than a tank escorted by an oversized army would take down Eliot, not the Eliot he knew.

"Can't you figure out his status. . .or condition . . .just something." She handed him the phone he had set down earlier, she'd go steal him a computer out of the nurses station if need be as long as she got some answers.

"When did Nate call?" He hadn't bothered looking in the hospitals database knowing from experience that the records weren't detailed until after the fact not during the process but if it would ease Parkers mind and pass some time while they waited he'd go along.

"Around 10:30" She sat beside him glad to be doing something as she peered at the screen.

"The time difference would make that 9:30 . . . .take in the time it took for Nate to call us plus the fact he's still shaken up and we've got our search perimeters." Hardison slid his finger over his touch screen looking for someone who'd fit, Nate could have at least told them what alias he had used. "Male from 30 to 40 who was admitted after eight in serious condition."

"Arrived in an ambulance." No way Eliot would even be there right now if he could so much as usher the words no hospital.

"Broken arm. . . Heart attack. . . Tumor removal." Hardison quickly skimmed through files trying to find one that would match his friend. "Tractor accident? . . . .I don't think I wanna know."

"That one." Parker stopped him from moving the page any farther as she double tapped the link that had caught her interest.

"Hit and run victim?" Hardison was confused as to why this one had captivated her.

"Look at the name." She had a bad feeling this was who they were looking for, it was to much of a coincidence to not be him.

"Spencer Elliott," Hardison began reading. "arrived on scene unconcious, victim of a speeding motor vehicle, currently in surgery." He quickly summed ignoring all the technical babble. He hadn't realized how bad their track record was when it came to finding trouble but honestly getting youself run over on vacation was a new one even for Eliot.

"Surgery" She let the word roll around on her tongue for awhile, not really liking the taste. "How long has that been going on?"

"The better half of five hours," Glancing at the clock he sighed. "but closer to six."

"Six hours in surgery. . . that's too long. We should be looking for him!"

"We don't know if it's been a six hour surgery, it could have been more than one, or they could've just started." He had been releaved to see that the record had indeed been very vague without much detail, he wouldn't be able to keep the optimism if he knew exactly what was going on with Eliot. If he did than some of those gruesome images he was currently categorizing as vicious lies would possibly end up as truth.

"Or something went wrong and they're not telling us. How do we know we can trust those doctors? They could be hiding his body right now!" So she was getting paranoid but Eliot would agree with her. In situations like these you had to be on alert and very cautious of others, and he wasn't exactly in a position to do that so she'd do it for him.

"PARKER STOP WITH THE DEATH TALK!" He breathed deeply already regretting having yelled. "He's going to be okay."

"That's what they all say until they come back a few hours later with some meaningless apology! I can't just sit here and wait for the worst . . . . I can't lose another brother." She barely breathed out as she curled herself into a chair ignoring the fact that a few tears had fallen.

"You'll always have me." It was lame even to his own ears but she needed comfort and he needed something to busy himself with.

"Spencer, Spencer Elliott?" A man looking extremely warn and disheveled called, reading from a charts information.

"How is he?" Hardison ignored the chair that had been knocked over as he followed Parker towards the doctor she had began bombarding with questions.

"You're his family?" The surgeon asked skeptically as he eyed them suspiciously, especially Hardison.

"We're together," Hardison pointed between themselves cursing Nate for not telling them what backstory he used, and not wanting to catch themselves up in a lie. "and this is his cousin but he's like a brother to us. I've known the man since elementary school, he's my best friend."

"I'll have to verify that with his brother." A brother was who was charted to have come in with him and that would be who he'd talk to.

"Wait, I'll call . . " but he had snuck away that fast. "Parker where are you going?" Hardison watched as she kicked the fallen chair before storming off.

"To drag Nate back here and get some answers from that quack!" She snorted angrily at the thought of him proclaiming himself to be a doctor.

"Hold up!" He quickly made to catch up with her, already planning payback for the man that had dismissed them so easily and prolonged their suffering.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Don't ask because IDK, I am just as surprised by what's up there as you are. This was not my intention with the story originally and I took a wrong turn last chapter that has officially got us lost without a map, I don't know what I was thinking but this just goes to show you boredom isn't always a good thing.**

**On the plus side though :) my boo boo has paved the way for a lot more story line and what was coming to an end is now not even close.**  
><strong>I can officially promise you a journey with at least a dozen more chapters and on the way we'll see if we don't knock some sense into me and get us back on the main road! Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear that you're not mad at me for the randomness that just appeared and Eliot I apologize for bein' the trillionth person to put you in the hospital!<strong>

**Though how ironic is it that he's dating a drunk and gets hit by a drunk? *-***


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"How is he?" Nate had not been happy to find out their was finally a status for Eliot yet this man did not think it important enough to share. So excuse his manners but at the moment he did not find it important to knock.

"Mr. Elliott, have a seat." It had been a long night and after the current events he was looking forward to his shifts end.

"No offence Dr. Torlyn but how 'bout you cut the scientific nonsense I know is coming and give it to me straight." He did not want to spend the next half hour trying to decipher the foreign language of medicine to then be stuck waisting time with questions about what he missed.

"Well then lets get down to business. Do you want the better or worst of his injuries first?"

"Worst of it." Nate shifted slightly preparing himself for some blows, starting with the bad wasn't ideal but it was better than knowing the more this doctor talked the worse it would get.

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"Parker will you please sit down?" They had ended up back in the waiting room and Sophie was getting dizzy from the girls constant movement.

"Sorry" She mumbled sitting on her feet only to switch chairs a moment later.

"Hardison stop with the tetris." So she might have been nagging but the little arcade sounds were maddening, (oh geeze she sounded like their mother), at the moment she could honestly say she felt every bit the age.

"Tetris?" Hardison smirked but did as he was told. All of the skills he had shown them and Sophie thought he wasted his time with movable blocks.

"I don't . . ." Sophie began but was interrupted by the beeping of his phone. "Care just silence your game or find a quiter one."

"That wasn't a game Soph." Hardison straightened up full attention on his phone.

"What was it?" Parker had moved closer seeing the seriousness that had crept into Alecs eyes.

"An alert." Looking at both women Hardison was reluctant with the information he had just received. "Els records just got updated."

"Well read it!" Parker ordered, she was still anxious but feeling better after Sophie had assured her they wouldn't have been left waiting if Eliot had simply died.

"Aloud" Hardison had begun skimming through and Sophie found herself reminding him of their presence.

"My God," he breathed.

"What?" Parker yelled trying to steal the technology that held her answers.

"You name it he hurt it." He was hesitant to read more.

"Could you be a little more specific?"

"He's got three broken fingers and a dislocated thumb on his right hand." Hardison stopped, meeting Sophies sympathetic eyes and a look he couldn't recognize from Parker. "His right shoulder was dislocated and apparently not for the first time. An extremely swollen and bruised knee to match the broken foot that are of course on his right side." This was starting to sound painful and Hardison knew his voice was displaying the same emotion as the facial expression he would call a cringe from Sophie.

"How fast was that bastard going?" Injuries like this needed some real speed behind them and Parker was feeling a mix of anger, wanting to go break some things on the jerk that had done this, and guilt, she too had hit Eliot with a car and this could have just as easily been considered her fault.

"I don't know." And he really didn't want to. "Some of the toes on the same foot were mangled and they've yet to determine nerve damage. He. . . oh that's not. . . ." Hardison stopped for a moment, Sophie had covered her mouth and Parkers eyes were wide, he couldn't share the details on what he just read. "Lets just say his left wrist has seen better days."

"How much more is there?" All of those sounded extremely painful on there own and imagining them all together plus Nate witnessing that had Sophie admiring the strength they would need to get through.

"Assorted scrapes, cuts, and bruises, some deep enough to need stitches. Then there's miraculously only one damaged rib in his bruised rib cage but it cracked towards the back really close to the spinal cord so that's being monitored carefully."

"Parker wait!" Sophie called as the girl lept from her chair and began running.

"Soph," Hardison stopped her from following. "that wasn't all of it."

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"The initial fear was that the gash on his thigh was caused by a protruding bone from a severely fractured or possibly shattered femur."

"So he's got a rod inserted?" Nate didn't like the idea of Eliot taking damage to such an important bone.

"That was the fear but not the case. The femur has about a four inch hairline fracture and at the moment I do not think it necessary to insert a rod or screws let alone a plate."

"And it's safe to leave it like that?" He didn't want Eliot to live with leg problems because a doctor couldn't do his job right.

"Normally a pin would be placed but that brings us back to the wound on his thigh. What we thought to be a shard of bone turned out to be some type of metal that must have come from the vehicle when it connected with his lower half. The force behind that blow lodged it through the tissue and initial fat before it embedded itself in the muscle. The risk of infection to that area is great and adding a pin to the mix is nearly guaranteeing the same outcome not to mention the very likely chance the bone itself would become infected." Dr. Torlyn sat back making sure everything he had said so far was sinking in.

"What about his head?" That image had been haunting him since he'd witnessed it and it scared him to death to think that the last time he'd see Eliots eyes they'd be glazed over and filled with confusion.

"He's got a half inch cut at the base of the temple nearly even with his hairline that needed three stitches and on the back another that received eight which is where the majority of the blood came from. Either he's extremely lucky or has a head made of steel, he has no inner cranial swelling or bleeding. I'm expecting signs of a concussion to present themselves though I'd say it's safe to assume it's there and the hematoma he received was on the scalp and not inside his skull which we should all be grateful for. It's not severe enough to be drained but it will be monitored closely for signs of improvement." It hadn't been a regular case but considering those didn't exist in the E.R. he would say this guy was lucky to be alive, let alone miraculousy as well off as his current condition.

"And if it doesn't?" Nate didn't see how this man could possibly be seeing luck inside this mess.

"Lets worry about the injuries that are there not the ones that might never appear."

"Can I see him now?" It wasn't really a question as he stood to leave, either way he planned on finding Eliot.

"We're not finished yet." Dr. Torlyn also stood.

"Yeah I know but the minor things can wait, tell me where he is." His voice held false patience.

"Mr. Elliott they might not have been the most demanding but I would hardly say they're minor. His kidneys are bruised and there's still a chance we've missed something."

"Well you go make sure ya' didn't and I'm going to see my brother." Nate couldn't listen to much more of this, all the things that were broken without seeing they could be fixed, would be fixed.

"That's not all. The discomfort and residual pain from setting his shoulder and fingers should have woken hi-"

"Should have?" Nate cut him off not liking those words or the way they had been said.

"Mr. Elliott"

"Nate"

"Nate your brother has yet to gain conciousness." He broke the news gently watching the man sink back in his chair.

"What are you saying?" Eliot had surely awoken sometime since his horrific accident.

"Every hour that he stays unconcious strengthens the chances that Spencer wont wake up and he's already been out for eight." It might have been blunt but sometimes that was the best approach.

"He's in a coma?" The disbelief was evident.

"No but he could easily slip into one. I'm not trying to scare you I just want you to have all the facts on your brother Nate."

"Why? Explain to me the medical friggin' reason he isn't waking up!"He yelled, his anger boiling as he stood. This doctor had waved Eliots health in his face, described all the things he was lucky for, the things that would heal but how the hell did that matter if Eliot wasn't going to be awakening. This news was only a notch above Eliots death in his opinion.

"There isn't one that I've found." Dr. Torlyn didn't take the anger personally knowing it was directed at the situation and not him. "What he experienced was tramatic and sometimes the mind's too quick to give up and others the body's too stubborn to quit."

"El's a fighter." Nate shook his head. "He just needs time." No other outcome would be acceptable.

"Lets hope your right." Dr. Torlyn moved from behind his desk and to the door. "Come on I'll take you to him." He had put a lot of work into that boy and he'd hate to see it wasted.

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"Parker?" The room was covered in gray shadows announcing that it would be welcoming the suns arrival shortly but the petite blonde was what caught Nates attention.

She had pushed a chair all the way to the edge of the bed and was sitting cross legged in it, her position blocking his view of the beds occupant. "Parker?" He slowly moved closer nervous of what he'd see.

"He wont wake up." She finally voiced the calm he heard being deceived by the tears that streaked her face.

"I know" He nearly whispered as he got a good look at Eliot. The man he loved was barely recognizable between the bruises, bandages, and swelling.

"I've tried everything and he doesn't even flinch, I poked him in the nose Nate." She figured that Eliot would be more than willing to leave now that he had been patched up but no matter how hard she tried he wouldn't open his eyes.

"He'll come back to us Parker, he always does." Nate watched as she hopped off the chair focusing his complete attention on her, he wasn't ready to take in all of the gruesome details.

"What if he doesn't? What if he can't this time?" He never said no to her but apparently all the pleading she had done was falling on deaf ears.

"He's coming back Parker." He pulled her into a hug where she stood quietly but he could tell by the moisture on his shoulder that she was crying. He had stood strong, made it through the horrors of the night and hadn't let himself even think about crying but now funnily enough it was the tiniest scrape on Eliots cheek, the one right over the place he loved to ghost his fingers that brought the tears.

The words that Eliot had spoken not even a day ago plaguing his mind, ''... eventually one of those tomorrows will be my last'', squeezing Parker even tighter he whispered, "today isn't your tomorrow Eliot."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Yes I know and I'm sorry:( I sort of may have broken Eliot but I think I can fix him, maybe? mostly? Well he was hit by a car! As with these two and the not communicating, I mean how many fights and break ups are necessary before it sinks in that a relationship wont work without communication? Hopefully this will show them that but I have a feeling there might be another bump or two in the road for them, if Eliot ever wakes up. As for all the the secrets, mixed thoughts, and outright questions more of those will probably appear before any answers start to surface. Also I've lost my mind! I'm already thinking of a prequel to this whole series which is just insanity, I'd love it if some of you would tell me that a trilogy is enough because this fic has spread like a disease and I spend nearly every free moment I have on it. It's like my new baby which Mollie,(my dog) is not happy about, so demotivation for that idea would be loved. Hope your enjoying!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

_"Get out all of you!" Nate yelled at his team, not bothering to move from his spot on the couch._

_"Hey Nate, I meant no harm man." Hardison tried apologizing, he wasn't sure what had set the man off but he knew he had been the one to say it._

_"Lets go Hardison." Parker pulled on his arm as she watched Nate throw back another shot ignoring them completely._

_"Yeah, lets." He followed her out of the apartment, he wouldn't stoop any lower. If Nate wasn't going to acknowledge his admitance of doing wrong he sure wasn't going to beg for it._

_"Are you even in there right now?" Sophie questioned the obvious drunk. "You have no right yelling at them and if it wasn't for your drinking you wouldn't, they don't deserve you lashing out on them just because you can't leave the liquor alone! What's the excuse this time or do you even bother with having one anymore?"_

_"Oh stop with the mightier than thou crock Soph, it really isn't flattering on you." Nate poured himself another glass ignoring the intensity in her glare._

_"Call me when you lose the rubbish attitude!" Grabbing her purse she too left. No matter how much she wanted to help Nate that wouldn't happen until he was willing to accept it._

_"Eat" Eliot placed a bowl of stew in front of Nate. He needed to sober him up so he'd remember the conversation they were going to have, one way or another things were going to change._

_"Didn't I tell you to leave?" Nate ignored the food in favor of another swig from his bottle._

_"Not happenin', now eat." Eliot snatched the bottle away with restrained force._

_"I'll get right on that mom." He replied sarcastically, Eliot was a fool if he thought that was his only bottle._

_"You're gonna end up killing yourself on this shit, especially if this liquid poison is all your diet consists of." Eliot growled as he threw the bottle down and followed Nate up the stairs to his bedroom._

_"You're not hearing any complaints are you?" Nate grabbed the bottle from his nightstand triumphantly, rewarding himself with another drink for the find._

_"Well then it's time for an old fashioned wake up call."_

_Watching as the bottle he had been drinking from seconds ago smashed against the wall painting it a dark stench Nate was surprised to find himself being dragged by the collar. "What the hell Eliot!"_

_"If you're gonna be a stubborn ass then so be it!" Pushing open the bathroom door Eliot turned the shower on tossing Nate in almost immediately._

_"That's freezing!" Nate clawed at Eliots hand to get himself loose, sliding back and forth in the loafers he was still wearing._

_"There are thousands of people out there that never got the chance to have a life and here you are drinking yours away!"_

_"And how many of those lives didn't you take!" Nate yelled back starting to shiver, he had managed to shrug out of his suits jacket but couldn't change the waters temperature let alone make it past Eliot._

_"You shut your mouth." They were nearly nose to nose Eliot breathing roughly as his grip on the front of Nates shirt tightened in anger._

_"Make me." He smirked as Eliots breath picked up and his nostrils started flaring._

_Turning around Eliot moved to leave, he wouldn't be able to control the rage bubbling much longer._

_Starting to unbutton his shirt Nate fixed the water temperature planning on taking a hot shower to rid his bones of the chill that had began creeping in. "That's what I thought."_

_He wasn't even thinking at this point blind with unnameable emotions, so there really wasn't much thought behind slamming Nate against the wall. Let alone joining him in the shower, keeping him pinned against the tile with his chest._

_The staring contest had started unintentionally but Eliots eyes were ablaze and Nate found himself mesmorized, his own breath picking up as he felt each one Eliot took._

_"Do me the favor and don't think." Eliot found himself leaning in, wanting to. . . no that idea was insane and it had him backing up scared and ready to make a hasty retreat._

_Maybe it was the liquor or maybe it was the seldomely seen fear in Eliots eyes but Nate found himself grabbing the mans shoulder, not wanting him to leave and even more surprisingly forcefully kissing him when he did indeed turn around._

_It was more pain than passion, teeth than tongue and Nate found himself close to yelping from shock as Eliot roughly bit his lip pushing him away as he did so._

_Shaking his head to clear it Eliot started staring at Nates lip, the lip he had caused to split and swell._

_"Rejection coming from the man who willingly joined me in the shower, if that isn't a laugh."_

_Wanting to wipe the renewed smirk off of Nates lips Eliot used his own to do just that, pressing himself closer as he did so. This kiss was more demanding as Nate fought for control Eliot refused to give, a war neither was willing to lose._

_Laughing as Eliot ran his tongue along the roof of his mouth Nate finally pulled away, that had always been a particularly sensitive spot and apparently ticklish as well._

_"You're a bastard." Eliot panted as he leaned back lifting the hem of his shirt that was soaked and clinging uncomfortably._

_"So I've been told." He watched closely as the shirt was tossed somewhere behind and Eliot kicked out of his boots. He didn't know where this night was leading but it was becoming more obvious by the minute and he honestly wasn't finding a reason to care._

_"I bet" he breathed leaning back in to lick the split he had created. Pulling the same one with his teeth as he claimed Nates mouth once more, hands making quick work of a few last buttons before traveling slowly up his abdomen and to his shoulders where the shirt was pushed away falling to the tub with their other assorted accesories_.

"I honestly don't remember half of what happened that day or why I had even been drinking but I remember that night like it happened yesterday." Nate carefully tightened his grasp on Eliots left hand as he pulled himself from those memories.

"Aren't you going to joke about the way we avoided each other for nearly a week after, laugh and tell me you knew when I told you I lied about being to drunk to remember right after our second time together?" He pleaded keeping his gaze on their hands, it was to hard looking at a face void of any life at the moment.

"Eliot get your ass up and tell me you remember, let me know that these things are important to you too." He hadn't been expecting a reply but it still hurt to hear nothing.

The beeping of the heart monitor should have been a comfort but all Nate heard was the taunt, at any moment those steady beeps could turn into a piercing shriek. Every drop from the I.V. sounded like a C4 explosion and the tubing running under sheets, tubing he knew Eliot would have removed hours ago.

"The counseling Hardison offered as an anniversary present got me thinking." Nate leaned back trying to stretch stiff muscles, if he talked long enough Eliot would answer or at least that was the plan. "When's our actual anniversary? May 15th's the first night we slept together but I'm not sure that actually counts. Then you got the beginning of February when we stopped lying to ourselves but I'm guessing that one isn't it since I kind of fucked up and we didn't make it through the whole year." Remembering Eliot had spent that one as a captive might have been amusing if it wasn't for the current situation.

"If you go by March though that only puts us together for two and a half weeks and that just seems wrong." He was just letting out whatever came to mind too tired to really care, though it was kind of pathetic that they had yet to have a year together worth celebrating.

"We've made a mess of the last two years Eliot. I think I knew from the beginning, I just wouldn't admit that I wanted more than to use, to be used but even if you didn't know it I could see it in your eyes, you wanted more too. Then I ended up in prison and you slept with Kaylin and I'm almost positive it was some kind of twisted revenge and it pissed me off." Nate remembered the cockiness Eliot had used to remind him they were nothing more than friends with benefits when he had come over a few nights later. That night had been the change of things, the night he accepted Eliots unintentional challenge, even if they were just fuck buddies he planned on making sure he was the only one Eliot had.

"I got so wrapped up in my scheme that by the time it was over I hadn't even realized what had been done. I'd played off your loneliness and unintentionally or not we had a real, actually working relationship going on. It probably wasn't my best idea to start with the melt down because you freaked out and we ended up damaging what had started Seven months ago. I nearly threw away the Five months of work I put into us over a fear that I let take over, one that let me abandon you when you were dealing with all that dirt Moreau dug up. If that wasn't bad enough I made it even messier with Soph."

Leaning over the bed rail Nate pressed a careful kiss to Eliots cheek not wanting to cause any more damage, he had already warned Parker against any more poking and both Hardison and Sophie had kept a few feet away. "I want to mend that mistake, I'm not going anywhere this time. I'll prove it all to you, just give me the chance and I promise I will."

"Ya'll really do need therapy." Alec had come in just in time to hear his name mentioned and couldn't help the curiousity that kept him quiet.

"Do you understand the meaning of private?" Nate was angered by Hardisons complete disrespect for the situation, not to mention his snooping on a moment filled with vulnerability he only ever allowed Eliot to see. "The objective goal when a door is closed tends to be privacy."

"Yeah that was rude of me man." Hardison paused feeling extremely awkward now. "Sorry 'bout that."

After that an uncomfortable silence fell as Nate turned his attention back on Eliot, Hardison deciding to do the same. The bruising on Eliots temple was tri-colored and ugly but it didn't appear to be massive from what he'd seen. Now the sight of Eliots knee was a different story, he had mistakenly peeked under the sheet and his reward had been to nearly lose his stomach.

Swelling was an understatement, between the mottled mess of purple, black, and green and the scrapes that were surely to speckle the joint with scars he wasn't sure how it would ever be the same even though he had been assured there was no permanent damage. Right now though he found himself staring at Eliots foot, it was a common injury, people broke their feet every day but it seemed to be the one that bothered him the most.

"What did you need?"

"I thought I'd come sit with him for awhile so you can go get some rest." It was nearly afternoon on Monday and had been over thirty hours since he had slept, who knew how long it had been for Nate.

"I'm not going anywhere." He didn't plan on leaving this hospital until Eliot could go with him.

"I already convinced the girls to go get us a hotel room and between the insomnia and soda I don't really sleep much, go on and steal a few hours." Sophie had only agreed to leave if he promised to get Nate to do the same.

"Thanks, but no thanks." What part of he wasn't leaving had been misunderstood?

"You don't have to be on your own with this Nate. We're all hurting and it's okay to share it, we're a family and that's what family's for." Hardison reiterated the same speech Sophie had given him and Parker.

"Family" How had that slipped his mind.

"Yeah we're a family man." Nate really needed to get that through his thick head.

"His family"

"You've met his family?" He was shocked. "Right not important." Hardison squashed the rest of the questions as soon as Nate leveled a glare. "What about them?"

"Do I tell them about this? What would I tell them?" The words were heard by Hardison but directed to Eliot.

"That's a decision you'll have to make for yourself." He might have stuck his nose in a lot of things but that didn't mean he wasn't capable of minding his own and he planned on doing that right now.

Did he have the right to hold this from them, but then again did he have the right to go behind Eliots back? Sarah wasn't expecting to hear from her brother anytime soon, but who was he to decide what she should know or better yet shouldn't? Eliot had clearly kept his distance though, would he really want his siblings to see him like this?

"Hardison I need you to find me a number." Either way he was still going to feel like he had betrayed Eliot he just didn't know which way would have a better outcome.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: So you got to see how these two got their start*_* (I tried for classy,lol That was a tall order when working with Eliot and Nate so hopefully it portrayed well.) And Sarah and Aaron are coming back into the picture so it looks like next chapter will be fun! Hope you liked this one, I don't know about you but this chapter is my favorite, there's just something about 15, it was my favorite in SC too.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

"How can you say he isn't comatose!" Nate hadn't put too much thought into things last night but now he had his head back together and was looking for answers. "Patients are pronounced to be in a coma after six hours of unpenetrable unconciousness and he's been out over triple that! Not to mention the fact that I was never informed of damage to his collarbone and he's yet to receive anything to control the swelling on his knee!" This doctor was starting to peeve him and it was taking a good deal of self control not to do or say something that would get him escorted out of the hospital.

"I was hesitant to pronounce him last night because even though we in no way got the response we were looking for he did show minute signs of discomfort. Two surgeries takes a great tole on the body and that's without calculating his personal reactions to the anesthesia and pain meds that were provided and even though it was described as vague at best the nurse did report an audible protest while she was changing the bandage on his thigh." Dr. Torland offered off handedly as he continued writing in Eliots chart.

"As for his collarbone I can assure you deep tissue bruising is the only damage there and if he continues with his progression I believe we'll be hearing from him ourselves by the end of the night."

"Progression? How is gaining a fever progression in your book!" He was yelling now yet Eliot still lay there motionless, seemingly unaware.

"It was to be expected." Dr. Toryln shrugged as he began his inspection of Eliots foot.

"Fevers are shrugged off and it's deemed acceptable for a man to "sleep" for nearly twenty hours!" The anger, skepticism, and sarcasm were clearly heard. "You know what, I want a referral cause I'm not buyin' this load you're so desperate to sell!"

"How many hours does Spencer sleep on average each night?" This is what he got for covering for Jordan last night, he wasn't even an E.R. doctor and this case would have never even been his, but this was just his luck lately.

"Three or four." He was still mad but he wouldn't hold back any information that could be of use. Glancing at Eliot he honestly couldn't say how much sleep he'd been getting lately.  
>When they first started sharing a bed he would sleep even less than his proclaimed 90 minutes if at all but he had eventually become accustomed to Nate being there and had not only gone back to his 90 minutes but had surpassed it.<br>The morning Eliot woke at Nates to find he had slept over five hours was a shocking one and Nate had begun trying to get Eliot to spend the night more often realizing he got more rest when they were together.

"He's exhausted Mr. Elliott, it sounds to me like his body's finally demanding the rest he has been denying it." Readjusting the sheet Dr. Torlyn picked up his chart as he passed Nate on the way to the door. "I'll be back to check on his progress in a few hours."

"At least send a nurse with some damn ice packs!" Nate sighed settling back in his chair, he'd give that man a few more hours but if no progress was made he'd find Eliot a new doctor.

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"Sarah hold up a minute!" Aaron called nearly running down the hospitals hallway to catch up. He had been having a celebratory lunch with Ashlee when the news had come in, from there he made the two hour drive to his sisters to tell her in person before they then hurried here.

"What room did he say?" Sarah ignored him as she turned yet another corner.

"All he said was 5th floor." Aaron explained refraining himself from telling her they'd know exactly where he was if she had taken the time to stop at the receptionist on the ground floor like all visitors were obligated to do. How they made it past without being detained said alot for the hospitals security.

"I need a room number please." Sarah stopped at the nurses station, a friendly looking black woman who had to be reaching retirement age smiling at her from behind the counter.

"What's the name hun?"

"Eliot, Eliot Spencer." Sarah didn't bother to stop the tap dance her fingers were doing as she waited.

"You're in luck dear, I was just in with Mr. Elliott and his brother. 457 is all his, it's straight behind me and three doors to your left."

"Mr. Elliott?" Sarah began to question the nurse but didn't get to finish as Aaron pulled her down the hall. "His brother? Do you think she looked up the right person?"

"Lets go find out." Aaron began counting doors, 453, 455, 457. "Here we are." Now he found himself hesitant to open the door.

Slowly pushing the door open Sarah peeked inside but found that she couldn't see much more than the very end of a bed from her vantage point.

"Parker quit messing around." She had no clue who Parker was but she recognised that voice and that was initiative enough to finally enter the room.  
>What she saw brought immediate tears to her eyes. "Oh my God, Eliot!" This was not the man she had just had dinner with the night before, this was not the big brother she had come to think of as nearly invinsible, no this man was very literally broken from what she could see.<p>

"Sarah I..." Nate quickly scrambled from his seat dropping the icepack he had been holding on Eliots knee. He had asked Aaron to call when they arrived so he could give them a bit of a heads up before they faced all this but obviously he didn't think it necessary. "It's not as bad as it looks." The words had no affect as she sunk into a chair on the opposite side of the bed, tears racing down her face.

"How did this happen?" Aaron had never been one for emotions, especially not the fear and pain that were creeping up, so he did what came naturally and turned it into anger.

"He was hit by a drunk driver."

"He was in a car accident?" Aaron stood behind his sister who had a careful grip on Eliots left hand, squeezing her shoulders slightly.

Shaking his head Nate took another look at the man in the bed knowing it was too late to change his mind even if he wanted to. "He was walking when he was hit."

Sarahs gasp as she covered her mouth was near piercing. "Where were you when all of this happened?" It wasn't meant to sound accusing but the last man she had seen her brother with stood there unscathed while Eliot lay in a hospital bed.

"I was there." If asked he'd say he didn't want to lie but the truth was he wanted someone to blame him as much as he blamed himself.

"Why him, why not..."

"Me" Nate finished for her.

"She didn't mean it like that." Aaron tried half heartedly, he was busy trying to absorb everything.

"Trust me I've already asked the same question. I'd take his spot if I could." He sighed picking up the ice and redepositing it on Eliots knee.

"How long have you been here?" Aaron wanted to know how his brother was but couldn't bring himself to ask just yet.

"Nearly twenty-two hours." Now he knew exactly what Eliot had meant by long hours when he'd been kidnapped, it felt like a week had passed already.

"And you just now told us!"

"Sarah"

"No Aaron, who the hell does he think he is that he can just decide when and what we should know!" Sarah found herself snapping at both men.

"I just wanted to make sure he was safe, I never meant to keep anything from you." He could feel a headache coming on not to mention an irritable I told you so ringing in his ears.

"That's not your job! We're his family and you don't have any right to be making decisions on Eliots behalf! Now I suggest you leave before I inform the authorities that you've been impersonating family for God knows what twisted reason!" Sarah roared, ready to have this man arrested. She had invited him into her home and all she received in turn was his deception, no doubt he had brought the trouble that got Eliot hurt to begin with.

"I received Eliots permission to make decisions on his behalf long ago and the only reason I needed to impersonate his brother was because lover is still frowned upon in this southern hell hole!" Those words should have never left his mouth but the pure shock that crossed her face was worth it. He had tried for nice and it had backfired and leaving Eliots side wasn't an option so it looked like assanine would have to work.

"You're lying, Eliot wouldn't hide something like that from me." But there was no confidence in the words as they left her mouth.

"Because you really make it so easy to share! All I wanted was to let you know your brother was okay and you attack me for it! What was so wrong with me wanting to make sure he stayed alive?" He probably should shut his mouth now but he was beyond mad and not really thinking about the consequences he'd face if Eliot got wind of how he was talking to his little sister.

"You need to leave." Sarah was shacking with anger now.

"I'm not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not he's my family and you don't abandon the people you love. I've invested two years into this and I don't plan on running scared just because my sister-in-law is extra bitchy this evening." Now that was uncalled for but he had lost control of his tongue long ago.

"Sarah wait!" Aaron shook his head in disaproval at Nate before he followed Sarah who had run from the room. "Sarah!" He had to start his own jog to keep up. "Sarah tempers were high and I'm sure he's just as stressed about Eliot as we are. Come back to the room and lets get everything sorted out."

"How can you even begin to defend that jackass?" Sarah stopped outside the elevator barely refraining herself from punching something.

"He seemed like a pretty good guy yesterday and I'm pretty sure Eliot loves him so I think we should give him a chance." Aaron shared.

"You knew?" The hurt and disbelief was clear.

"He told me yesterday." Aaron admitted as he moved closer, sighing when she pulled away.

"I'm tired of this! The stories, the secrets, the damn lies! When is he going to be honest with us Aaron?"

"He's only trying to..."

"Don't you dare try to make an excuse for him! He has himself dug so deep into the lies I dion't think he can even recognize the truth anymore." Sarah had been waiting for a situation like this and now that it had come she felt all those fears closing in.

"He's doing the best he can Sarah. He's gotten alot better about contacting us and his visits are more frequent. Just give him a chance it's clear he's trying." Aaron knew first hand how difficult life could be and as long as Eliot still made a move in his direction he'd always be there to meet him halfway.

"Maybe I ran out of chances to give. It hurts to only have certain parts of him at certain times and if today didn't make it abundantly clear how much he's still holding back I don't know what will. I don't know if that's a pain I want to continue to live with Aaron." Sarah finished as she stepped in the elevator, the doors closing seconds later.

Aaron had no clue what his sister meant but as much as he wanted to run after her he wanted to stay ten times more. He'd stay with Eliot for now, get Nate to answer some of his questions but eventually they'd need to work things out with their sister and hopefully make her understand the situation better.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"What did you get yourself into El?" Aaron had come back to the room to find it empty. He had walked around it a bit to extract some nervous energy but now he found himself sitting in this horribly uncomfortable plastic piece of half rate chair facing the window. "Sarah's beyond pissed and your boyfriend just disappeared on me and I don't even know what's going on with you." Aaron sighed out feeling beyond overwhelmed. "What am I supposed to be doing right now?"

"You have ten seconds to tell me who you are and what you want before I break your neck." And suddenly there was an extreme pressure around his neck that had his eyes beginning to water. "8" He was trying to loosen her grip but she obviously knew what she was doing. "6" He couldn't even reach around from his current position let alone get up. "4" His chest was beginning to burn and if there was actually enough air in his lungs to do so he was sure he'd be wheezing. "2"

"Parker!" Hardison yelled shocked by the sight that met him. "Let him go!"

"Not until I find out why he's here." Her eyes were dark and her arm didn't loosen.

"Well dead men don't tend to speak." He started trying to pull her back, he doubted this was the situation Eliot had in mind when he taught her the hold he clearly recognized her using.

"Fine," She let go glad to see him doubled over and gasping. "but one wrong word and I'll slit your throat."

Quickly pouring a glass of water Hardison offered it to the man. He waited for him to take a few sips before asking, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah but I think the psych ward lost a patient." Aaron answered gruphly as he rubbed his throat. The woman was eyeing him dangerously and even though he hadn't seen any weapons he was sure she'd make good on her threat.

"So Aaron A. Spencer from 1213 Lime St. who sent you?" Parker rolled her eyes at the clearly bogus information.

"Is that my drivers license?" Aaron quickly padded his pockets only to find his wallet missing.

"I'm the one who's asking the questions now answer me!" The shriek that left her lips had him complying.

"No one sent me."

"Lies!"

"I don't even know you people! Why would I be lieing? I'm not lookin' for any problems I just came to see my brother." These two were clearly insane and as soon as he was sure the blonde wouldn't attack again he fully intended on turning them in.

"Brother?" That caught Hardisons attention.

"Yes. I'm his brother and you'd be?"

"What's your brothers name?" Parker asked instead.

"Eliot."

"Hah! No it isn't!" That earned her two sets of confused eyes.

"Yeah it is. Maybe you've got the wrong room yourself but the man in that bed is Eliot Spencer." Aaron found himself standing as she moved closer, he didn't trust her.

"Then what's his middle name?" Parker stepped right into his personal space without hesitation.

"Ethan"

"Double E?" Hardison was skeptical with that, though he had to admit that there were similarities even if they were vague.

"Yes double E. The same reason I'm Aaron Andrew and our sister is Sarah Stephanie."

"Eliot Ethan Spencer?" Parker huffed.

"YES"

"That is the stupidist thing I've ever heard!"

"Well that would be my mother. If you don't like it go take it up with her." Aaron took a step back as he kept his eyes locked with the petite womans.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Hardison knew Nate had called Eliots family. He had given him the number for one A. Spencer but how was he supposed to know if this guy was the real deal. How did he know that he wasn't an impersonator who had gotten information the same way he had. Albeit his searches on Eliot had come up empty until Nate provided him with some details but still.

"I say we take blood." Parker interrupted whatever Aaron was going to say as she moved closer. She didn't know where Nate had gotten off to but she planned on getting rid of this man before he tried something. After that she'd have to stay with Eliot since it was obvious everyone else seemed to disappear.

"Who are you?" He had been raised better but right now he was very tempted to hit this woman, if for nothing more than self defence. First she chokes him and now she was looking way too excited with the thought of making him bleed.

"Friends" Hardisons tone was near dismissive as he watched Parker carefully.

"It's nice to see that Eliot has friends that are so protective but as much as I'd love to stay and chat I think I'll just be going." He was saying whatever he thought would please the woman long enough to make his exit.

"Yeah.. No, I don't think so." Parker shook her head as she blocked his path.

"You can't keep me here." He fully intended on moving past the girl but suddenly he was blocked by two.

"Hey man, calm down. Let me have a quick look, confirm what you've been sayin'. If you're really who you say you are then you wont mind sittin' there with your bro a little longer." Hardison had already pulled his phone out wondering what kind of counter measures Eliot would have taken with his family.

"He's not what I'll mind." Aaron grumbled as he crossed his arms. He had no idea what the other man was talking about but if it got him out the door he'd comply. After that he planned on finding Nate and getting answers to the freak show he was currently part of.

"What's going on here?" Nate had been asked to go down and fill out some papers, he had been hesitant to leave but in his short absence he hadn't expected to come back to this.

"He was trying to kill Eliot." Parker pointed like a toddler tattling.

"I... What? These two are crazy! I don't know what the hell's going on here Nate but I'd like an explanation!" Aaron yelled feeling more comfortable now that someone he knew was present.

"Aaron just..."

"She just accused me of trying to kill my brother!"

"Hardison go find Sophie." At least he had the decency to look apologetic.

"Parker just... just go." He was sure she had thought she was helping but now he was left with alot of dirt to sweep up. Explaining their relationship now seemed like cake compared to how he'd rationalize Parker believing someone would want to kill Eliot.

"Is he really Eliots brother?" Parker hadn't moved dispite Hardisons pulling on her arm, now that Nate was there she found herself experiencing a cautious curiousity.

"Why is that so hard to believe!" Aaron was looking extremely confused.

"Aaron calm down." Nate was looking at Eliot. How could he not have woken with all this yelling?

"Calm down? That woman just tried to strangle me!"

The look on Parkers face showed no denial and Hardison was mearly scrolling on his phone leaving Nate to wonder if he had been there for that part or if he had just temporarily lost all judgement and sanity.

Three sets of questioning eyes finally pulled Nate from his thoughts. "Lets... Come on. We're going to go find Sophie and then we'll sit and... no that doesn't work... you know what we'll find Soph and then I'll explain since it seems like I'm the only one who has the complete story."

Even in his current situation having a plan was still calming.

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His head was pounding and clouded and he found himself biting back a pain filled groan. The achingly numb feeling that seemed to be everywhere had him near panicking but none of this had been the cause of his awakening.

No, it had been the harsh voices. The shouts that kept getting louder and that was why even through his fog filled mind he stayed completely still not wanting to bring himself any unwanted attention.

He couldn't make out what was being said but it sounded strangely familiar, like Parker and Hardisons banter, but then why would they be yelling? And wait, was that his brother? No, that couldn't be right. There was no way those three could have gotten together, this was some kind of a head game.

That would explain the sluggish feeling but he didn't remember being drugged let alone taken. The last thing he remembered was yelling at Nate in his truck or so he thought. Had that really happened?

Nate? It was kind of a guarantee he was hallucinating when he suddenly heard the very man he had been thinking of. Right now he should probably be on alert, be calculating injuries but he found himself drifting instead.

Even if the sense of security he was feeling was hallucinatory he allowed himself to succumb to sleep once more, never opening his eyes. Nate would keep him safe for the moment even if it be safety from his own mind which seemed to be the only real threat at the moment.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"So you're like P.I's?" Aaron summed as he tried to rationalize everything he had heard in the last two hours.

"Sort of" and "Not at all" left Hardison and Parker staring at eachother incredulously.

"We help those who have nowhere else to turn." Sophie smiled as she made it sound like an elegantly noble task. She was putting her best spin on what the team did, sure it was good deeds they performed but after hearing what had gone down in Eliots hospital room she figured a little extra shine on the situation would benefit everyone.

"We pick up where the law leaves off." Nate continued at the skeptical if not confused expression Aaron was wearing. He had explained things to the team first figuring it would make it easier to clarify their existence with Aaron but he hadn't expected it taking so much time.

They had choosen a down scale restaurant for the conversation, the first twenty minutes spent assuring Parker that Aaron was indeed Eliot's brother and in turn assuring Nate there would be no eating utensil mishaps. After that he had to endure Sophie's accusing eyes as he told them about spending the holiday with Eliot, minus a few details that were really none of their business, and Hardison's horribly timed meet the family jokes.

"So what exactly does Eliot do? He led me to believe he worked security." He was beginning to understand what they were claiming to do but he still didn't see where Eliot fit in.

"That's exactly what he does. It's his job to keep us all safe." Parker let out despite the look Nate was giving her. Yeah she had been told not to give out anymore than necessary but Aaron was making what should have been simple quite complicated.

"He's not the same."

"What do you mean?" Sophie leaned in wanting him to confide what was nearly whispered to himself.

"He left here 17 years ago, the next time I saw him he was still a good ol' boy proud he was servin' his country." Aaron smiled remembering the goofy grin and horrid hair cut his brother had been sporting. "My brother would have never become a criminal, not the man I used to know."

That caused an exasperated sigh and a sudden sadness realizing how long it had really been since he had seen that man. "I know they say war changes a man but what could he have seen, what did they do? He's not..." Aaron trailed off having not enough and too many ways to finish that thought.

"He's not a bad person." Hardison found himself defending.

"Eliot's a good man." Sophie reiterated.

"He's a criminal, you all are." But it wasn't accusing he was just trying to wrap his head around things. When you're younger you're told criminals are bad guys and as you grow up you learn that that is infact true but now here he was being told by a group of thieves that they were indeed the good guys.

Ignoring Parker who had dropped her head with a loud thud Nate made direct eye contact. "He's helping people who are essentially helpless and giving them back what's rightfully theirs. It's easy to be kicked down and stepped on and he's just making sure those people are given a hand to get back up. To have a chance to defend themselves, we all are."

That was all he could offer, sure he had told him that what they did wasn't exactly legal and the others had hinted at their specialties but Nate had left himself and Eliot out of the conversation aside from the obvious. His secrets and past weren't really relevant and no way would he tarnish Aaron's outlook on his big brother more than need be.

Eliot had spent years trying to protect them from the "demons" he swore followed him and Nate was still trying to convince him he was indeed not the monster he apparently saw while looking in the mirror. So why would he ruin all that by telling tales of actions that were comitted in a different life time by a different man, because he knew for a fact the old Eliot Spencer was long gone, a new man left behind to pull himself from the shadows and battle the ghosts that were his past.

"He's actually making a difference?" Aaron was ready to believe them but there was still something seeking that extra assurance.

"We're doing good." Parker assured recognizing the look in his eyes as the same hesitation she used to feel. She might still be skeptical of him but she didn't want him to have that fear of false hope, of becoming devistated, not when it came to Eliot, not when Eliot was the only person she felt would never cause her disappointment.

Nodding his head in agreement Aaron stood, "I've got to get going."

"Aaron" Nate also stood wanting to make sure the situation had been resolved.

"I'm going to see if I can't reason with Sarah. I'll be back to see Eliot come visiting hours in the morning, if anything happens before then call me." He asked surprising Nate with a hug. "And Nate."

Nate just waited still stunned by Aarons actions. "If I convince Sarah to come with me tomorrow do us both a favor and don't call her a bitch again."

Watching Aaron leave Nate turned to find three sets of amused eyes staring at him. "Don't."

"We didn't say a word." Sophie's gleam was deceiving her words.

"Don't even think it."

"I don't know if I can promise that."Hardison smirked as he and Parker too stood, the four of them leaving the restaurant. "If Eliot knew you called his sister a bitch... woo-hoo-hoo... lets just say can you spell dog house." He found himself entertained for the first time since he learned of the situation. The jokes weren't as light hearted as usual but they did there job of lightening the mood if for only the moment.

"Of course I can, D... O... G" Parker began stopping Nate from saying anything else and Hardison to begin explaining the term much to her annoyance.

She knew the jabbing was in good fun but talk of trouble in Nate's relationship meant problems within the family and that was not something she wanted to hear. Although the more that she thought about it made her realize she needed to recategorize the roles she had given each of them in her family.

She still considered Sophie as a mother, having learned more from her than any other woman who had tried replacing her original. Hardison had once been considered a brother and she would always love him as such but she could see herself eventually allowing him to slide into that something more space.

Nate was the firm hand that only a father could have but she was no longer sure of Eliot's label. Brother was her automatic response but now that he was dating Nate it didn't seem right, but then again no other relative seemed to describe the relationship they had built.

Maybe he didn't need to have a label, but this had been the family she chose, you could say created even so why couldn't Eliot still be her brother?

Yeah Eliot was her brother whos lover was her father and yes she did know how horribly misinterpreted that could become but she had always been misunderstood and as long as it worked for her no one elses thoughts or opinions mattered.

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Walking through the near deafening quiet brought Nate back to the reality he had somehow managed to push aside for the last few hours. Visiting hours were long over and he had suggested the team take Aarons lead and go get some rest before they regrouped in the morning.

457, the room that he was starting to hate with a passion was as expected dark, just as the chair he'd spend the night in hard. "Now I'm just starting to think your being lazy." He had missed Dr. Torlyn but that was probably for the best, he doubted anything had changed or he'd surely have received a call, he'd make sure come morning.

"Doc said you were alert with the nurse this morning, of course you'd manage to be unconcious and still flirt with the staff." The joke was half hearted as he watched the shadows created by the traffic below come and go. He'd thought that all hospitals had pull outs, especially in private rooms but apparently he'd thought wrong.

"He also said you were going to be up and talkin' by the end of the night so I doubt it'd be a good idea to put too much value behind his words." He was disappointed to see the marks on Eliot's face appearing to be meaner than before but he supposed that was a sign they were healing. The same ones that had brought him to tears with Parker which to his surprise didn't embarass him.

No last night had been an emotional outlet for everyone and the change from then to today was obvious as those raw feelings were packed away and the waiting really began. "Babe ... wake up so we can go home." He fought the sigh and instead ran his fingers lightly through Eliot's hair. It was nowhere near as smooth as Eliot kept it, tangled and a bit matted with presumable blood despite the washing he knew it had received but it was still one of his favorite things to do even if it tended to annoy Eliot.

The groan he received when his fingers traveled back too far bumping a stitch had him pulling away quickly with a mumbled apology before it dawned on him what he just heard. "Eliot?" He didn't receive an answer but wasn't at all detured as he sat on the side of the bed taking Eliot's hand in his own and squeezing it slightly.

"Come on Eliot you've slept long enough." Still he got nothing.

Moving his hand up a tad he gripped Eliot's wrapped wrist carefully before giving it the slightest squeeze, he didn't like the idea of causing Eliot to hurt but pain had been what coaxed him before. The displeased moan and the fingers that had brushed against his wrist were easily labeled as his favorite moment of the day and he found himself happily determined to coax more from Eliot.

"Talk to me, let me know that you're okay." His request wasn't fulfilled but Eliot did him one better and opened his eyes. They weren't the piercing blue ones he was used to but a duller more clouded and confused set, though he'd say he'd never appreciated the beauty in them as much as he did now.

"Wa'er", was croaked out and Nate quickly sprung to his feet more than willing to oblige.

"Careful" He hadn't been advised of any restrictions but the memory of the beating Eliot's kidneys took had him pulling the cup away after a few sips.

"What 'appened?" The pain, hurt, and confusion as Eliot tried moving was clearly etched on his face.

"Just relax" Nate placed a finger under Eliot's chin pulling his focus away from the hand he was staring at. "That doesn't matter right now." He was sure the man could feel everything that was wrong and would have probably have completed an examination of himself by now if not for the loopiness he was viewing that only came from serious pain meds.

"kay" He agreed blinking heavily.

"God Eliot" The emotional hurricane that had showed itself mere seconds ago had him near tears again but he wasn't going to allow them to fall. This was good and the feeling of Eliot's hand searching out his only made it better. "I love you." Nate moved closer as he felt a tug on his hand.

"Me too." The sleepy smile that accompanied that declaration was completely uncharacteristic and Nate found himself leaning down to kiss it. He'd add to the rareness and enjoy it while it lasted. "Me more."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That was OOC but too adorable to pass up and totally worth it! I know it's been a while but I was busy with graduation prep so I didn't have the time to post. Just graduated tonight though, yay me, and updates should be regular again. As you can tell the happy mood got you a happy moment but I wouldn't expect that to be the setting for the next chapter, which will definately be up sooner than this one. Hope you enjoyed!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Where is he?" The idle chatting that the three of them had been doing stopped immediately as they entered the room noticing it's occupant missing.

"Tests." Nate offered as he put down the newspaper he had been reading. He had been enjoying the fact that Eliot was awake while watching the man become more aware of his surroundings and injuries when a nurse had come. Upon finding him awake she had quickly alerted doctors and they had whisked him away, though that had been over two hours ago.

"He didn't get worse did he?" Parker was obviously worried as she glared at the empty bed.

"No" Nate shook his head as he decided against telling them Eliot was up just yet. "I actually think he's showing inprovement this morning."

"That's good." Sophie sat on the edge of the abandoned bed as she handed Nate the muffin they picked up for him when they stopped for coffee.

"What kind of tests." Hardison had found himself studying Eliots medical records carefully, researching everything that had been done to him thoroughly as after that first meeting he didn't really trust Dr. Torlyn.

"You name it." Came a gruff voice from the doorway.

"ELIOT!" Parker all but screamed as she ran to the stretcher that was currently being pulled through the door. "You're alive!"

"Very much so." Eliot tried his best for a smile already feeling bad for having worried her.

Noticing the annoyed looks Parker was receiving from the orderlies Sophie pulled her back so they could continue with their task.

"I don't think so," Eliot saw the man at the bottom of the stretcher beginning to pull the corners of the sheet up. "put the rail down and I'll manage." He had been man handled for nearly three hours thanks to only having one limb damage free but he wouldn't allow that to be the case infront of his team.

Using his elbows to push himself forward Eliot recognized the hand on his back immediately as it slowly urged him into a sitting position. "I've got this."

Nodding his agreement Nate stood his ground knowing how stubborn Eliot would be but wanting to be close to offer help just in case.

He was staring at his right leg deciding which would be the best way to go about moving when Parker made the choice for him picking up the now booted foot and slowly sliding it to the edge of the bed. "There ya go Sparky."

"Thanks darlin'" Ignoring the pressure from his wrist he pushed himself carefully to his feet waiting for the expected pain in his foot but found it wasn't there, replaced by a searing pain that shot from his hip down to his knee instead causing him to become dizzy and lose his balance.

"Careful" Nate knew Eliot liked his independence but the look of pure pain on his face had him using the grip he'd steadied him with to guide him to sit.

They knew it must have been bad because they received no protest as Parker and Sophie adjusted his legs onto the bed while Hardison moved it into a sitting position, Nate scrutinizing Eliot closely.

Breathing deeply Eliot kept his eyes closed not wanting to see all the eyes he knew to be staring at him, maybe he should have taken the blow to his pride and been lifted. It would have saved the embarassment and pain.

"A nurse will be in shortly to replace the IV and catheter." He heard one of the orderlies say as they left. Now he really didn't want to see their faces, no way was he allowing that to happen.

"Eliot?" The worry was clearly heard and eventually he relented opening his eyes slowly.

"You really busted your shit a good one." Hardison let out after awhile breaking up the tense silence that had formed.

"Tell me about it." Eliot agreed trying not to laugh. Everything felt like it was throbbing and he could only imagine how it would feel after he was taken off the good pain meds.

"You wanker!"

"OOW, what was that for?" Nate had not been expecting the blow to his chest, especially not from Sophie.

"You said you'd call if anything changed and his awakening is a big one." He had allowed them to keep their worry longer than necessary and she didn't find that acceptable.

"Does it hurt?" Parker had perched herself on the foot rest and was staring at him intently.

"Not in the least." Sure it was an absolute lie but the beaming smile that appeared told him it was exactly what she wanted to hear.

"I'll need everyone to clear the room for a few minutes." A nurse walked in holding a tray of supplies.

"That's our que Parker." Hardison nearly lifted the girl as he pulled her off the bottom of the bed quickly leaving. Sophie didn't find it necessary to say anything as she too left.

"He's not gonna go anywhere." Eliot nearly rolled his eyes at Nate as the nurse waited impatiently for him to disappear. "It's fine for him to stay." He added as he realized she didn't plan on continuing.

"Where do you want to start?"

"Where do you want to start?" It was said slyly with the closest to his signature smirk as he could muster.

"I think we'll start with your wrist." She smiled grabbing a new wrap and some gauze. Nearly all of her male patients were flirts but nowhere near all of them were as good looking.

"What's wrong with it?" He watched as she began unwrapping it, he knew it wasn't broken but other than that not much.

"It took a bit of a twisting. You earned yourself seven stitches but you give it a week or two and I doubt you'll even notice anymore."

"How many stitches does he have in all?" Nate ignored her obvious interest in Eliot as he looked between the six he could see.

"I'm not positive on the exact number but I'd say on the better half of forty."

"Forty?" He wasn't really shocked just trying to make sure he heard her correctly.

"Nearly half of 'em are in your leg, you'll see in a minute." She taped off the newly wrapped wrist as she rose to move to the other side of the bed.

Nate traded spots with her watching closely as she revealed Eliot's thigh which unsurprisingly held its own variety of bruises to match the jagged mark that was sure to leave a decent scar.

"While we're exposing things we might as well get the catheter out of the way." It might have been a joke but Nate wasn't seeing the humor in it as he glared at her suddenly hoping she hadn't been the one to perform the original insertion.

"I don't think so Darlin'." The smirk was back but quickly turned into a wince as she bumped his knee.

"I'm afraid it isn't an option." She didn't look very apologetic though.

"It ain't happenin'." It wasn't rude just stern.

"You wont be moving anywhere on this leg for a while, if you try you'll just cause yourself more pain and prolonge the healing time on your femur." She argued already preparing the tubing.

"I'll use a cup, I never leave the bed." The shrug was a dumb move as he regretted it immediately, feeling the fire that washed over his shoulder.

"Bruised kidneys. Sorry to put it bluntly but it'd burn less to set it on fire."

The near sardonic laugh he let out reminded Nate of some not so fond memories. "I'm sure I'll manage."

"It's your choice." The displeasure in her voice was more than evident just ignored. "Lets get your IV in and I'll be out of your way. If the weight on your shoulder gets to be too much just page me and I'll find you a sling for that arm."

Watching silently as she finished inserting the needle into its new spot on his left hand he waited for her to collect her things before turning to Eliot who was clearly fighting his eyelids to stay open.

He wanted to just allow him to fall asleep, possibly join him there for a few hours but he couldn't and when she finally left he gave voice to what needed to be said. "Eliot your sister knows about us."

"She was here?" He had been dozing but those words were a wake up call.

"Aaron too." Nate sat on the edge of the bed, so far Eliot didn't seem mad.

"You shouldn't have called them."

"Eliot she didn't take it well at all. She left here pretty pissed and I'm almost positive she hates me with a passion now." He might as well get it all out at once.

"That's great." He hurt too much and was too tired to be dealing with this. "Don't worry 'bout it. I'll talk to her after some of her anger blows over, she'll be fine."

"Aaron knows everything." It lacked tact but the man would be showing up any moment now and he couldn't really think of any other way to say it.

"What do you mean everything?" Aaron had known about them and Nate knew that, the only other everything wasn't a possibility because surely Nate wouldn't have done that to him.

"I didn't have a choice Eliot. He was in here with you and Hardison and Parker freaked out and they left me with no other options."

"What's everything?" Nate trying to justify himself was nearly cementing his suspicions but he still wanted to hear the words.

"Just what the team does."

"He knows I'm a hitter." The hurt in Eliot's voice was hurting him ten times more.

"No. Just what we've been doing since we got together as a team and I kept it really vague." He wanted to move closer but he was pretty sure at the moment Eliot would pull away.

"So he just thinks that I'm a con artist and a thug, that's much better!" His head was pounding and he wasn't sure if it was from the concussion or anger.

"Eliot I..."

"You had no right! You didn't have to say a thing, I would have handled it eventually!" His sexuality was one thing but Nate didn't even know how much trust and confidence he had broke by telling Aaron that.

"Eliot there really wasn't ..."

"It wasn't your problem! Every time Nate! Every time! I open up for you, and may I add you've still given me shit in return, I allow you to meet my family and here ya go and yet again you screw me over!" He felt like crying, over a decade of his time and effort wasted in minutes thanks to Nate.

"Eliot he doesn't think poorly of you if that's what you're thinking. He knows you're doing good." He ignored Eliot's last statement, it sounded too close to the reasons behind their last breakup and that was not something he wanted to be thinking about right now. Instead he'd try to get Eliot to believe his brother didn't see him as a heartless monster.

"GO"

"What do you mean go?" Eliot had turned away from him, or at least attempted to do so but the message behind that action was clearly heard.

"I wanna be alone."

"If there's going to be a problem it wont be with Aaron and Sarah doesn't know about the team."

"You don't get it." He shook his head slightly with a resigned sigh, Nate never did when it mattered.

"Well then explain it to me." He moved to the other side of the bed helping Eliot with the pillow that was obviously frustrating him. This would not be an easy recovery, especially not if they ended up fighting again.

"Nate," The look he was receiving was near pleading and usually he'd give in but Nate knew they needed to start sorting their problems out together instead of pretending they didn't exist.

"What am I not getting Eliot? Let me in."

"Just... Just give me some time."

"Alright" He agreed reluctantly. He wanted to smooth things over between them but Eliot was clearly exhausted and he wouldn't risk his health for their drama. "I'll be back around lunch, if you need me before that just page the nurse. I'll be close."

Eliot didn't answer as he waited to hear the door close. He wanted to blame Nate for everything including the broken fingers he was staring at but as heartless as he claimed to be he knew none of this would have happened without a few bad calls on his part. For now he'd try to figure out what he was going to do and hopefully no more obstacles would make themselves present, from this vantage point it didn't look like he'd be able to handle another.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: These two give me a headache. They're more up and down than a yo-yo, lol I'll see what I can do but they're being stubborn.  
>As for the Sarah situation that might take awhile and we'll probably get pretty far down the road before I get that all mended up. I also sat down and mapped out a bunch of this and realized there's at least 30 chapters but I think it's gonna be closer to forty if not over, I know how ambitious that is so wish me luck with that. Hopefully I keep your interest that long, hope you enjoyed! <strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20  
><strong>

"I still don't see why we couldn't go back in." Parker huffed out.

They had been sitting in the waiting room for nearly three hours and she was not happy. Eliot was awake yet here they were still playing the waiting game.

"I already told you that he asked to be alone Parker." Nate offered as he checked his watch yet again. He had about forty minutes before he could go back in there without seeming too eager.

"He's been through alot Parker. I think if he asked for it the least we can do is give him some space." Hardison had been left in charge of making sure she didn't sneak off and so far it had been a difficult task.

"From Nate, not us. He never told me to leave him alone."

"He didn't..."

"Parker," Sophie paused in the texted conversation she had going with Stan to throw some dirt on that spark before it turned into a wild fire. "sometimes when things are personal it takes longer to process them and it's usually best to do that alone. He'll sort things for himself and when he's ready then and only then is he going to want to see any of us." She only wished he'd hurry it up. She was stiff from too many hours of sitting in worry and no offence to him but Oklahoma or at least this part was a real drab.

"Since when do we do the whole respecting boundaries thing? We're sitting in the middle of a friggin' hospital allowing Eliot to push us away and not doing a thing about it! Am I the only one who actually cares that it's very likely he might not even be in his right mind right now?" The outburst was unexpected but her near tears were even more so.

"Did you ever think that maybe we need some time ourselves? It ain't easy to see him like that, to have thought he could've... to watch him lieing to you about bein' fine. To have read the worst, to have thought I'd lose another brother, just maybe I want a minute too Parker! Do you think you can respect that?" Now that was even more shocking as Nate watched Hardison storm away and Parker turn in on herself.

Obviously emotions were still high.

He was about to go after the other man, not sure what he'd say but feeling like he should say something to help ease the hurt Hardison had clearly held back when he saw a familiar face. "Aaron"

I know I said I'd be here first thing but I got held up at Sarahs. I tried but she refuses to listen right now, I doubt it she'll show around here." Aaron quickly explained so he could get an update of his own.

"Eliot's pretty upset himself." Sophie could see the strain forming in their team and she knew Eliot held the key to fixing it but he was nowhere near close to working on it so maybe Aaron could put him on the right path and help change that.

"He's awake?" Aaron asked staring at Nate accusingly as he allowed Parker past him and to the exit. He had specifically told him to call if anything changed before he got there.

"Yeah, and I think you should talk to him about our discussion from yesterday. I told him about it and he isn't taking it well at all, he thinks he's been condemned." Nate watched the other man with mostly trust but a little accusation. He didn't believe Aaron to be that kind of man but then again sometimes entrusting someone with belief was a devious mistake.

"Alright" He didn't really have anything else to say as he left for Eliot's room.

They seemed to be shaping up as decent people but he didn't know them that well and he still made sure to keep himself guarded having learned long ago not to hand over trust so easily.

He hadn't really given too much attention to Eliot before, maybe it was finally having some of the mystery removed or maybe it was just because this was the first time he was seeing him actually sleep in years but he somehow looked different.

Sitting down on the left side of the bed where Eliot had curled to slightly Aaron wasn't startled when blue eyes quickly opened to meet his, his brother had always been a light sleeper. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"S'alright, I was up." Though the sleep in his eyes said differently.

"How you doin'?" He really shouldn't be uncomfortable but he was.

"I'm doin'." After that it was quiet as Aaron tried to decide what to say and Eliot just studied the ceiling. "I'm sorry."

Aaron hadn't been expecting that. "For what?"

"Everything. The lies, the disappointment. I tried to be as honest as possible but it didn't always work out that way." His eyes never left the ceiling, he didn't want to see Aaron's face.

"It's cool."

"What do you mean it's cool? I just disappear on ya'. There ain't nothin' cool about that."

"My God you're as bad as Sarah! You sound like you've condemned yourself."

"Why are you acting as if everything's okay? I'm a lier and a fuckin' criminal, you shouldn't want anything to do with me!" Eliot turned to yell at his brother, he was expecting anger and found himself getting angry that he wasn't receiving any.

"So what have you lied to me about so far this visit?" Aaron moved from the chair to the bed where Eliot would have to give him attention. When he received no answer he started prodding. "You didn't really work for an agriculture company?"

"That one's difficult, there was this girl that needed help with a project she did for school. They stole her potato and we got it back for her."

Aaron was confused but he just nodded and moved on. "Having a girlfriend that works for an insurance company?"

"I never said I had a girlfriend you just assumed as much and Nate did work insurance, well he still does sort of." He defended though halfheartedly.

"You don't really approve of Ashlee?"

"I never said I... wait why would I lie about liking Ashlee?"

"You're the one saying that I shouldn't believe a word that comes from your mouth. From what you've said so far it sounds like you're punishing yourself over half fibbs that you've already managed to clear up if not justify." Aaron was working on convincing him that he didn't feel cheated or betrayed.

"What I'm doing doesn't bother you? You can honestly say that you're not at all mad at me?"

"For not calling? Yeah. For barely showing your face? It pisses me off but for helping the helpless? It might take some getting used to Eliot but I'm not heartless." He play slapped a hand over his chest glad to see Eliot let a smile appear.

"Just like that?" Sure he was doing good now but he could never be cleared of what he had done and that would always make him a no good liar.

"I was told you're doing good, helping others, and as long as that's true that's all the truth I need."

This silence was more comfortable as Eliot shifted around carefully to try and ease the pressure off his back without jostling any of his other wounds.

"Can I ask you something?" When Eliot gave a quiet nod he continued. "The whole gay thing, is this a new revelation or were all the girls in high school like a way to feed your denial or something? I'm not judging or anything just curious." He added not wanting to be misinterpreted.

"Really? That's your question?" Eliot was in disbelief. His brother had just recently learned of him being a criminal yet here he was more interested in his gender of choice. Seeing the genuine wonder he relented. "If you're classifying things I guess technically I'd be considered bisexual but it's just ... there's something about him that was really quick to pull me in." The complete interest Aaron was showing had his ears tinging red.

"So you're saying he's the only boyfriend you've had." That was something he would definitely be teasing him about just as soon as he could.

"Aaron" The warning was clear but it lost most of its affect from the coloring on his face that was of course from a slight fever and utter exhaustion. In no way, shape, or form was it from embarassment.

"I'm just saying that he must be something special to ya' if you up and switched the team you we're playing for, especially since you just got done sayin' it was for him and him alone."

"Shut up" Eliot groaned as he pulled the pillow over his head. It took all his will power not to suffocate himself when Aaron started talking about what states had legalized gay marriage. Sure he had wanted his support but he didn't know if he could handle this much.

"I'm just messin'." Aaron pulled the pillow away from his brother as he started laughing. He had kept a straight face through most of his teasing but once he mentioned a double wedding and Eliot let out a muffled sob he couldn't hold back any longer.

"Jerk" Eliot threw his other pillow though he couldn't put much force behind it and it missed his target falling to the floor instead. "Seriously though," Eliot waited for Aaron to stop laughing before he continued, "we're good?"

"We're good." Aaron assured as he stood patting his brothers leg. "I've got to go make some calls, do you need anything while I'm gone?" Even if Sarah was mad he would still let her know that Eliot was awake and though he hadn't said as much he was pretty sure he was willing to talk.

"For you to go home, there's no need for you to be wastin' your time here when there's nothing to be done."

"Eliot you just.."

"I'm sorry for worrying you but there really isn't anything you can do." Though it was more like he had never allowed his brother to see him vulnerable before and he didn't know how much longer he could keep his mask from slipping and showing all the hurt and pain he was trying so desperately to hide.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow but don't think you'll get rid of the others so easily." Aaron relented as he moved to leave but stopped when he was grabbed by the hand.

"Will you ask Nate if he'll come here for a minute?" For a moment he had forgotten about the others and that left him feeling extremely guilty.

"Sure" He didn't question why Eliot sounded unsure of Nate fulfilling that request.

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"Are you still mad?" She had found him in the outdoor garden but had decided against bothering him until it looked like he had calmed some.

Moving over so Parker could sit next to him on the cemented bench he continued to stare at the blooming flowers infront of him as he shook his head.

"I was scared of losing him too." She scooted closer interlocking their arms. She felt bad but she didn't think her actions mereted an apology.

"It's just, yesterday he's out and people are worried about brain damage and today he's up and lookin' broken as hell but claimin' to be fine. How do we go from scared to carefree in a mere ten minute visit?" The mood shift had been unexpected and had brought up a lot more than he wanted to deal with at the moment. " Do we just move on and be done or what?"

"I think we should." She tried to explain herself better when Hardison gave her a disagreeing look. "Eliot's a private person, all of us have those secrets we keep for a reason and unintentionally or not we just dragged quite a few of his out. All I want right now is to make sure he's okay and if pretending that everything's fine will help him do that then I will."

"Lets go do damage control." Eliot's world had been split for everyone to peer into and he knew how he'd feel if it was happening to him so right now he'd push his problems to the side and help his brother by any means necessary.

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Aaron had said Eliot had asked for him but he was still unsure when he entered the room. On his part he knew what was behind their arguing but Eliot was clearly holding something back as well. Sure he had messed up with his siblings but he had a feeling it went deeper than that.

Lifting a pillow off the floor Nate just waited knowing Eliot was awake despite the closed eyes.

"How bad was it?" He was feeling loopy and was almost positive he'd lost some time somewhere but he was still trying to keep focused and to the point.

"It was a waiting game." Nate shrugged as he decided to add the pillow to the one already under Eliot's knee being careful not to cause anymore pain. He didn't think it necessary to make Eliot feel bad for something that he had no control over.

"Are they okay."

"They were worried Eliot." He was the one laying in a hospital bed yet he of course was asking about everyone elses well being.

"And you?" Nate was keeping a distance and he found it unsettling.

"Of course I was worried." And if that wasn't an understatement, he was still reluctant to close his eyes.

"I heard how you got a front row seat to me being a crash dummie of sorts."

"That's not funny Eliot!" He turned sharply from where he had been looking out the window. He didn't really think it was meant to be a joke but still.

"Trust me, I'm not seeing the humor either. You shouldn't have had to see that though and I just wanted to let you know that I'll listen." It didn't take much more than a pleading look and an offered hand to have Nate moving closer and eventually joining him on the bed. "I'm here."

He refused to bring up those memories trying instead to bury them someplace he'd never have to see but Eliot's reassuring him that he was indeed still there, that he hadn't lost him was a great comfort. A weapon he knew would come in handy when the nightmares appeared. "Yes, .. you are." Nothing else would be acceptable because they'd yet to scratch the surface of what was to come.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Gotta love Aaron :)**

**A double wedding, I was laughing too hard. Sorry for those of you who'd like to see it but I wont ever be writing a Neliot wedding, I just can't see it.**

**Although I can tell you right now that the fourth and what I believe to be final installment of my crazyness will be Ashlee and Aaron's wedding.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter twenty-one**

"Are you going to show up like this every morning?" Was Sarah's greeting as she pulled the front door open, she already knew who was there.

"Until you go see him, yeah." Aaron walked past, Eliot had been awake for three days and she had yet to go visit.

"I already told you I'm not going. I have other things to do." Sarah huffed pulling her feet up and under her on the couch.

"Like what? You've been moping around like a ten year old for days now and aren't those yesterdays pajamas?" She looked a mess and he knew she was close to caving.

"I'm not moping and I'm not going."

"Is it really him you're mad at or are you made at yourself?" He was just fishing now but maybe she'd open up.

"Of course it's him I'm mad it! Last time I checked he's the liar not me!" She yelled at her brother, how he saw her in the wrong was beyond mind boggling.

"You're lieing to yourself with that one." Aaron shrugged simply.

"What the hell did I lie about? He's the one who came to my house with his boyfriend forgetting to mention just that fact!"

"And are you forgetting he didn't just show up with his boyfriend? You invited them."

"Only because I wanted Eliot to come over and he wouldn't of if that jackass was left without a ride."

"And that is where we were both stupidly blind." Aaron had realized this after his conversation with Eliot but apparently Sarah had yet to do the same.

"How?" Sarah would have been insulted if he hadn't just insulted himself as well.

"What was his excuse for not being able to come?"

"I just said he was Nate's ride, that's why I invited the man to begin with." Just thinking of him made her angry.

"But they left after that anyway. If he couldn't stop by because he needed to drop him off somewhere okay it sort of makes sense but they were gone for over two hours. That should have been long enough to drop him off nearly anywhere. If we weren't so busy at the time we would've seen the gaping hole in the middle of that excuse."

Okay she didn't know how she'd missed that, "He still lied though."

"Oh come on Sarah, give him a break. Did you really expect him to just come in and announce having a boyfriend like it was Sunday paper news?" Now that would have been a sight.

"Well of course you feel like that, he told you he was gay, you didn't have to get it rubbed in your face by his boyfriend!"

"He didn't tell me, I figured it out myself. He just confirmed it and I'd feel the same even if I hadn't known. He barely knows Ashlee and with mom and dad here would you really have revealed such a secret if you were in his spot?" He wanted her to stop worrying about her bruised ego and to start seeing reason.

"He could've told me though, he should've told me." She mumbled curling closer to the corner of the couch.

"So that's what this is about." Sometimes it was hard to believe he was indeed the youngest. "People hide things like this for years Sarah. They hide it from everyone, even themselves sometimes and that's got nothing to do with anyone but them. Just because he didn't tell you this doesn't mean he doesn't trust you, though I wouldn't with how supportive and all you've been lately." The smack he got for that was to be expected.

"You remember when we used to tell eachother everything?" Sarah looked at her brother as she let his words sink in.

"Yeah, I was playing with race cars and you still thought boys were icky." He shook his head at that, he was sure their youth held the main reason why they had been so honest. "Things change Sarah and so do people, and it's your choice to either adjust to those changes or move on. So are you going to stay ticked about something that you have no control over or will you get over yourself and forgive him?" Maybe it was harsh but he couldn't remember the last time their not talking had been willingly and he didn't like it.

"How is he?" Aaron had told her he was awake and doing good but other than that she'd been too stubborn to listen.

"Go see for yourself." Eliot had done alot for them and that was probably a big reason why she held him with such high regard, but the disadvantage of being up so high was the long fall down.

"No," maybe she was scared or maybe she wasn't ready to eat crow. "I already told you I'm not going."

"I can't believe you," Aaron shook his head as he stood to leave. "call me when you decide you're going to act thirty instead of three." He had tried but the rest was up to her and good luck to Eliot with telling her about the team.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Are you ready to get those stitches removed?" Dr. Torlyn asked as he entered the room glad to see Nate wasn't there. The man was a near constant nag and had once again in not so many words called him incompetent.

"Ain't it a little early to be pullin' stitches out? If I ain't mistaken they'd be what's holding everything in, Right?" From the moment they had met Hardison hadn't trusted this mans opinions but for some reason Nate had yet to make him disappear.

"I'll only be removing the ones from your upper arm and temple." Dr. Torlyn spoke to "Spencer" as he started preparing his supplies.

"Why?" Hardison could tell he was being ignored but that wouldn't stop him from making himself heard or being answered.

"They're superficial cuts Hardison." Eliot huffed as the doctor began his work and the annoying tug started. "If you leave stitches in too long they'll become part of the healing process and as much as the scars work for my image I'm not diggin' the idea of a train track pattern on my face." So it was a bit sarcastic but he had been in the same spot for nearly a week and it was starting to weigh. Not to mention he had earned himself near constant pain, sleep had become non-existant, he was being left mainly in the dark about his injuries, the case involving his accident, and his appearance for he had been refused when asking for a mirror.

"What about the others?" Hardison had stood from his chair and was watching carefully as Dr. Torlyn moved to Eliot's forehead.

"The ones on the back of your head and wrist will come out at the beginning of next week, the three on your foot are disolvable, and the ones on your thigh will be there for another ten days at least Spencer." The steel blue eyes that were looking up at him were unnerving and he was doing his best to get things done quickly.

"What about showering?" Eliot was sure the list of things to be wrapped and covered would be a long one but he'd like to bathe.

"Until after I've removed the stitches from the back of your head I don't think that's a good idea but if you'd like to freshen up I'll gladly send the nurse in." Dr. Torlyn offered as he collected his tray and moved to exit.

"No thank you." Eliot dismissed. His day nurse had turned out to be a walking talking sexual harassment case and as ripe as he felt he preferred it to the discomfort she'd surely bring.

"Another thing to add to the list." Hardison was already making notes to pick up waterless shampoo. "And don't look at me like that either, if you want to get cleaned up you'll have to wait for Nate to get back cause I don't do spongebaths."

"Don't flatter yourself." Eliot was almost positive he'd ask Sophie for help bathing before he'd ask Hardison.

"WOAH, that's a lot of leg to be showin' considerin' what you was just sayin'!" Eliot had pulled the sheet from his lower half and hadn't even bothered with trying to readjust his gown.

"How does that look to you?" He ignored Hardison's dramatics as he glanced toward his injured joint.

"Like I said a lot of leg, a lot of colorfully broken leg." He was very uncomfortable with their current situation.

"The knee Hardison! What did the doc say about my knee?" It seemed to be the spot a good deal of his pain generated from and going by his last inspection he'd say it was getting worse.

"That it was severely bruised and it would probably be two weeks before you'd be able to bend it without feeling the urge to scream." So it was more like a loose translation than the doctors actual words but it all summed up the same. "Why?"

"Look at this."

"What am I looking at?" He had come around the bed and was currently staring intently at the joint. Eliot sounded suspicious and that had him suspicious.

"This right here is blood pooling." Eliot pointed out awkwardly with his thumb. "That mark has widened significantly since I saw it last."

"And?" Hardison wondered as he replaced the sheet for Eliot having seen enough.

"I'd say it's a hematoma."

"What happens if it keeps growing?" He had reclaimed his chair watching as Eliot tried moving around, he was clearly uncomfortable.

"It'll need to be drained." He sighed as he reflexively rolled his shoulder to stretch out the stiffness, a surgery no matter how small was not a joyful thought.

"Does it hurt?" Hardison hadn't thought much about the healing process which he was just now noticing to be stupid on his part but Eliot clearly wouldn't be bouncing back from this one as quickly as he had the other times he'd been injured.

"No, it tickles." Eliot grumbled as he tried untangling his remote and call button without much success.

"I meant like bad though." He took another glance at Eliot's knee before helping to untwine the cords much to the other mans annoyance.

"Like hell Hardison." He only wished it was a lie. He had become accustomed to pain over the years but it wasn't something you ever got used to and the emotional turmoil it tended to drag up wasn't any better.

"I wonder if they have a decent sports channel." It had been a dumb question since he wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway so he figured he'd try for distraction.

Settling in his chair he took one more glance at Eliot before he began surfing the hospitals crappy cable, public broadcasting would be better.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: I'm really starting to like Aaron, it seems like that rebel streak just might have left him knowing a thing or two.**

**Sarah seems stubborn but I guess it's understandable, I mean you think you know a person?**

**No Nate in this chapter? That in itself is shocking but I wanted drama free and lately he just seems to bring it in truck loads.**

**Poor Dr. Torlyn, I think Eliot's the only one that will actually be giving him a break throughout.**

**Looks like Hardison was left hittersitting, lucky him, lol**

**And Eliot, ehh we don't even need to go there.**

**As for questions.**

**Who likes Stan?  
>Should he make an official appearance or are we good with mere mentions?<br>Who wants to see Sophie actually have something more with him or should he find out he could very possibly be nothing more than a rebound?**

**How many more breakups should Eliot and Nate have? HAHA JOKE, well maybe :#**

**Should we give Sarah the whole story like Aaron got? Cause with the way she's acting now I don't think she's going to take it well.**

**IDK, LET ME KNOW**  
><strong>THANKS<strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Jesco, yes they are engaged.  
>Gravind Divine, yes I do know how much you love it because I feel the same, times twenty and I'm really glad I've caught your attention.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter twenty-two<strong>

"How are we this morning?" Eliot was glad to see it wasn't his usual nurse. Instead Elaine, a woman he enjoyed having around. She brought a motherly feeling while the others tended to annoy him if they stuck around for longer than ten minute stretches.

"As much as I love your company Darlin' I'd say I'm ready to go home."

"Soon enough sugar." She smiled as she pulled the tray with his breakfast across the bed.

"I'm surprised to see you alone in here, I thought for a fact that your brother'd be here at least." The group that visited him was near constant in presence and the least she could say was they were an entertaining bunch.

"He went to find out what happened with my truck." Eliot answered as he began his inspection on what the hospital considered food.

"Was it part of your accident?" She asked as she opened up his fruit cup. His right arm had been placed in a sling after a bad move on his part had caused him to nearly dislocate it again and she knew there was no way he'd be doing that one handedly.

"No, he left it on Sundale." When he had asked last night Nate had admitted to forgetting about his baby and he'd nearly bust.

"You would have been better off leaving a please steal me sign." She laughed sympathetically, Sundale was known for its ticketing and towing and she knew first hand that your car wasn't always returned in the same condition it was taken.

"Tell me about it." He willingly took the pills she had passed him.

"Well don't be too hard on him, he's been worried about you." She warned as she moved to leave. "And when I come back for this tray it better be empty young man."

"Yes ma'am" He smirked though he wasn't at all thrilled with the idea of consuming the plaster that was being considered oatmeal.

"Speaking of the devil." She laughed as she finally exited the room.

"What does that mean?" Nate asked Eliot as he sat his coffee down next to the juice on the tray.

"That it's rude to bring coffee in here when you know I can't have caffeine." Eliot grumbled as he continued his attempt to get something on his spoon. He had been in the position of having to use his left hand before but never while the wrist was damaged.

"Yeah... I'd say sorry but, I'm not." Nate shrugged as he took a sip of the hot liquid, it had been a crazy morning so far. "Though I did bring you back something better than that." He moved the bowl of what he'd guess to possibly be porrage and pulled out the take-out bag he had snuck in. "Cheese Danish or Apple tart?" He didn't really need to ask though as he already knew which one Eliot would take and was quickly proven right.

"So what did you find out?"

"That the fees in this town are outragious." He removed the cap from Eliot's drink before sitting with his own breakfast.

"You're lucky I-"

"Love you." Nate interrupted before Eliot could finish the threat he knew was coming. "Your truck is in the parking lot right now and it's looking the same if not better than we left it."

"You better hope so."

"I know so." Eliot was not a materialistic person so he believed it safe to say that car probably held certain sentiment behind it. "You tired?" He watched as Eliot's eyes drifted the slightest before he snapped them back open.

"Naw," Eliot tried to shake away the exhaustion as he pushed the bed table away. "I just took my meds and they leave my head fuzzy."

"You sure?" Nate had realized he had been having trouble sleeping lately but he figured it normal considering the circumstances. "I wont mind if you want to try and get some rest."

"I'm fine for now." Eliot chose to ignore Nate's worry, he was tired but not enough to face the dreams that left him with less energy than before he went to sleep. "I just want out of this place already."

"So do I Eliot, so do I." He was feeling everything finally catching up with him and it was safe to say he himself was sleep deprived.

"If it bothers you too much to be here I'll understand Nate." His gaze was sincere as he watched Nate move the table completely away from the bed before sitting on it.

"You'll wish you can get rid of me that easily. I'm not leaving this room until you're coming with me."

"You do when you think I don't realize Parker or Hardisons presence is to babysit me while you sleep or shower." Nate was obviously not amused by him throwing fault into the point he had been trying to make.

"Alright then, you'll just have to stop being a hog and give me a spot on the bed and I'll forgo the showers, it's not like hygene is on the top of anyones list right now anyway." Nate pulled on a piece of Eliot's hair that was looking particularly stringy.

"Hey, I've got a reason to stink. It's not easy staying clean when you've been basically confined to a bed and have been refused the use of a tub." He firmly believed that a shower was an important step to good health and was feeling beyond grungy for not having had one.

"You smell fine." He'd prefer a slightly smelly Eliot to a dead one any day.

"I want to bathe." So it might have come out a little whiney but he was an independent person and having to rely on others for the simplest of things was getting on his nerves.

"I can't go against your quacks orders but I'll help you out with a washcloth if it'll make you feel any better." Nate watched as Eliot threw his head back, he was trying his best to be supportive and understanding but even so there was only so much Eliot would allow him to do.

"That's not exactly what I had in mind." As much as he appreciated the offer he wasn't ready to sink to that low yet though he was sure he probably would within the day if not by the next.

"Well that's the best I can do for now, but that's probably a good thing seeing as most of our encounters in the bathroom have been far from innocent."

"You say that as if it's a bad thing." Eliot raised an eyebrow playfully, that may or may not be his fault but he would so blame Nate.

"Not bad just inappropriate for our current setting." Nate shrugged as he simply allowed himself to enjoy the easy banter they had going.

"We should find a better one then." Eliot mumbled as he sat up straighter pulling Nate closer as he did.

"Maybe we should." He agreed as he simply stared for a moment, receiving a look that had him starting a sensual kiss.

Their actions continued but soon Eliot had his hand sliding up Nate's arm to where it was grasping at his neck and was pulling the fingers away. With a last nip to his lower lip Eliot pulled away reluctantly.

"What?" Nate breathed as he tried unsuccessfully to follow Eliot.

"We've got company." Eliot sighed and surely enough mere seconds later the door to his room was pulled open.

"Hey Sparky!" Parker beamed as she brought the same enthusiasm she had in every visit.

"Hey Parker." He returned the greeting if only a little less enthusiastic.

"Are we interrupting?" Sophie questioned as she glanced between the two though she was almost positive she already knew the answer.

"What could you possibly be interrupting?" Nate moved from where he had been sitting on the side of the bed back to his chair with his newly retrieved cup of coffee. If those three didn't have the worst possible timing.

"I don't know, that's why I asked." Now she knew for a fact what they had indeed interrupted and she was taking great amusement in Nates near pouting.

"So, I got you some stuff to help you out while you're in here." Hardison ignored everyone else as he placed his bag on the side of the bed and started pulling things out. "Lotion with aloe, it'll help you to avoid that feeling of wanting to pick or pull at a scab." He knew it would be of use too because he had already caught Eliot scatching at a few. "Some waterless shampoo so you can stop growling about your pretty hair being all messed up."

He passed that bottle over to Nate as it would surely be his job. "Mouthwash, not sayin' that your breath stinks," He quickly added at the look Eliot was giving him. "just use it to kill the bacteria. The last thing any of us need is you catchin' one of the bugs goin' around this place."

"Is there anything in there that wasn't intended to tell me how shitty I look?" Though it wasn't said with much malice as he did appreciate the thought Hardison had obviously put into things.

"He got you some baby wipes and deodorant." Parker shrugged as she began picking at a mostly untouched apple tart from the breakfast plate.

"Oh that's much better." Eliot found himself trying not to laugh at Nate's expression, he had obviously had plans to finish the breakfast Parker was eating.

"Hey, we've also got a nook so you can read whatever you want, a Bonanza box set, and a few dozen of those chewy bars you're always eatin'." Hardison defended as he replaced the items in his bag before placing it to the side.

"Bonanza?" Sophie questioned as she did her daily once over of their hitter.

"It's a series about a widower rancher and his sons." Nate explained simply as he watched Eliot inspect the back of the box.

"My Grandmother hated this show, me and my Papa would watch it on reruns every Wednesday. Whether I liked it or not I had seen every original episode by our fourth summer together, we stopped watching after they brought Candy in." He could still hear his grandfathers speech on how the show went to hell after Adam left it.

"It's cool that you got memories with your dad like that."

"Yeah, it is." Eliot found no need to correct Hardison's error as he set the DVDs to the side. "Thanks man."

"It's no problem," Hardison shrugged off. "if you need anything else just tell me."

"What we need is to figure out our plans for the next month." Nate ignored Eliots lie as it wasn't his business and instead moved to figure out what they all intended to do while Eliot was recovering.

"We're staying with Eliot of course." Parker was first to let her intentions be known.

"Eliot's going back to Boston and you four are going back to work." Eliot spoke sternly, he dd not need a babysitter and he did not need a bored team.

"There's no way you're getting on a plane." Nate refused to let that happen and the other three were showing the same sentiment.

"What do you expect me to do for over a month in Oklahoma?" Eliot tried to get his point across but they didn't seem to care.

"Rest, recuperate, take advantage of the extended vacation time you've been given." Sophie knew from his current vantage point that probably didn't seem appealing but him wanting to go back to Boston seemed outragious at the moment.

"What do you three plan on doing?" Like it or not Eliot wouldn't be getting rid of him but he still needed to know what the others planned on doing.

"Parker already said it Nate, I got no plans." Hardison shook his head at this. Everything they had been through and here they were talking about splitting ways just because they didn't have work.

"If ya'll are intent on staying here I still think you should find a client." Eliot didn't bother with arguing, it wasn't as if they'd listen to him anyway.

"Without a hitter." Parker spoke the obvious as she perched back up on the foot board, she felt like they were on repeat here. They had just gotten their hitter back, hadn't even gotten the chance to work with him yet, and now here they were needing one again.

"Stan still owes me, I'll get him to help out." Eliot offered.

"Even if the man still owes you a favor I doubt he'll be too thrilled to help after the way Nate canned him." Hardison remembered how the man told Nate to be thankful they had a mutual friend before storming off.

"He owes me more than a favor." He knew he really needed to call Stan now to figure out what had gone on, especially since Nate seemed to be avoiding eye contact.

"As much as I'm sure Stan would indeed help us out he's leaving for Europe in two days." Sophie didn't think she wanted to know what Eliot had done for Stan to leave him so indebted, especially in their world where you had to go past out of your way to get help with anything.

"So I'll find someone else."Eliot did not like being the dragging wheel. "I doubt Mika will stay around for a whole month but saving his ass twice should be enough for him to help with a case or two."

"The thing is you'd need a grifter too." Sophie began explaining what she had waited to tell until they were all together. "Stan's trip to Europe isn't a business one and he invited me to go with."

"And you actually accepted!" Both Parker and Nate accused. No matter what Eliot claimed there was a reason he was still in the hospital and Sophie wanting to leave before he'd even be discharged was not acceptable in their opinions.

"Get him to take you to Paris." The others' dramatics were ignored and he was glad to see at least one of them had sense enough to put their impomptu free time to good use.

"Stan likes Paris?" Sophie wasn't surprised with the mixed reactions but it was nice to see Eliot wasn't judging.

"Tell him I said to ask about the Eiffel Tower incident." The glint in Eliot's eye told her it would be an intriguing tale.

"Are you two sure you don't want to use this time for something else?" He wasn't thrilled with Sophies plan to leave but Nate still held himself responsible for knowing exactly where they'd be when it was time to reband.

"Nope" Parker shook her head and with it her ponytail.

"Hardison?" Nate glanced at the man who had been silent since his original protest.

"Naw I've," He stood as he moved to show Eliot and Nate what he had been researching. "found us a place to rent while we're here."

"I don't like it." Parker burst his bubble as she caught a glimpse of the picture he was showing.

"Alright, that's not the only one I found."

"Hardison I have..." Eliot tried to get a word out but was cut off.

"This one is even nicer, I tried callin' the guy yesterday but there was no answer."

"I like this one." Nate passed back the phone after taking a look through the pictures that had been posted. It was a semi furnished four bedroom house that would be more than enough for the short time they needed it.

"Nate that's one.." But Hardison cut him off again.

"I'll call him again." Hardison did such annoyed when all he received was an automatic voicemail. "How does the jackass expect to rent the place out if he never answers?"

"Well maybe he's been preoccupied." Eliot kept a straight face until he saw that Nate had caught on and even then he held back a laugh.

"Well he don't need to list a property if he's too busy to answer the phone."

"Hardison it's my.."

"Naw Eliot, I'm going to get a hold of Tom Hillman and when I do he's gettin' a piece of my mind."

"Tom Hillman?" Eliot asked amused, he had tried but Hardison was making things too good to pass up.

"He sounds familiar?" Nate chimed in.

"Yeah I know him, and I can tell you first hand the guy's a real bastard. Last I heard the poor S.O.B. pulled a stupid stunt that got him hospitalized."

Watching as Parker's eyes lit with understanding made it even harder to hold back the laughter as Hardison was the only one left in the dark.

"He's in this hospital right?" Sophie added to the gag.

"Yep," As Parker started laughing Eliot decided it time to end the joke. "if I'm not mistaken he's in room 457."

"Wait that's," Hardison stopped when he realized what they meant. "that's not funny! I'm tryin' to help you out here and ya'll are jokin' with my ass."

"I tried telling you the place was mine, next time you'll stop and listen." Eliot could tell Hardison was more amused than anything.

"Well you got one thing right," Hardison smirked as he admitted to himself that yes, they had gotten one over on him. "Tom Hillman is indeed a bastard."

He joined in the laughter when Nate complained how he got the brunt of that emotion and received a Bonanza box set tossed in his direction for his effort.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Some fun and a little fluff to put everyone in a good mood for independence day:)**

**I hope everyone enjoyed that because the next chapter or two will bring some of those darker more mixed emotions**.

**Also if there's** **something you want to see or that I'm** **possibly missing feel free to tell me, the simplest words can plant the biggest ideas. Thanks for reading and A happy 4th to my** **fellow Americans!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-three**

"I'm out of here." Eliot grumbled as he tossed his blanket to the side and carefully started to move his legs over the edge.

His doctor had been in first thing that morning to remove the stitches from his head and wrist and had since avoided all of his questions.

"Eliot stop." Nate stood immediately as he stopped Eliot from removing his pulse oximeter.

"Where are my clothes?" He scooted closer to the edge of the bed as he squirmed the devise off of his finger. His movements were sluggish and his muscles aching but he was determined.

"Eliot, you're going to hurt yourself." He stood firmly in front of him with a hand on his left shoulder to insure he didn't try to stand. "Why don't you lie down and I'll go find Dr. Torlyn." He tried to ease him back down but Eliot had set himself like a brick wall.

"No, I'm leaving with or without your help. Now where are my damn clothes?" He had only stayed upon Nate's insistance but the poking, prodding, and whispered conversations had pushed him to his limit.

"Eliot what's wrong?" Since the doctor had left that morning things had been quiet. He was reading from the nook Hardison had brought and he had thought Eliot had drifted to sleep but apparently that assumption had been wrong.

"Are you going to help me out or am I on my own?" Eliot looked him dead in the eye as he pulled Nate's arm from his.

"No you're not on your own, I'll help you." Nate agreed as he figured it best to stay on Eliots side. "Just calm down for me." Eliot's breathing had picked up and he could clearly hear it.

"I want out of here." He ignored Nate's suggestion as he did his best to stand. His legs were shaky from too long without much use and he had to shift most of his weight as his right leg was already protesting but he managed to keep both feet under him.

"Alright," Nate quickly had a hand out to hold him steady. He didn't know if Eliot's standing was causing any damage to his healing foot but he knew for sure it was probably causing him unnecessary pain. "I'll find Torlyn and we'll get you out of here but I'm not doing a thing until you calm yourself."

"I'm fine." If Nate wouldn't get his clothes he'd just have to get them himself.

"Eliot you're going to end up on your ass!" Nate warned as he watched him stumble toward the cabinet.

"Where the hell are my clothes?" He slammed the door seconds after opening it having found it completely empty.

Nate watched as he leaned heavily on the cabinet, his arm sliding under a sling and across his torso. It may have looked to be his best attempt at crossing his arms in annoyance but he more suspected he was craddling aching ribs. "Just come sit down for a minute."

"If I don't have clothes in the next fifteen seconds I'm leaving without 'em." The dull burn that had been in his thigh was quickly turning into a wildfire and he knew it wouldn't be long before his knee went out, it was already screaming.

"I threw them out." He hadn't brought anything for him to change into and the ones that had been returned he would have liked to burn.

"Guess I'm gone then."

"Eliot you'll never get past all the nurses out there."

"Watch me." He used the back of his hand to wipe away some sweat that was threatening to drop into his eyes as he tried moving toward the door but Nate blocked him.

"Okay we'll go, just let me call Hardison to bring you some clothes."

"I ain't stayin'."

"No, I promise we'll go just as soon as he gets here." Nate watched as Eliot's glare softened the slightest and he took advantage of it completely. "I'm going to go call him but promise me you wont pull a Parker and hop out the window while I'm gone."

"Tell him to hurry up." He ordered as he watched Nate pull his phone out.

"I will." Nate assured as he exited the room, he would have liked to have gotten Eliot back in bed first but right now he wouldn't be able to make him do anything.

Quickly he headed toward the nurses station thankful to see Elaine sitting there. "What can I do for you sugar?" She smiled warmly at Mr. Elliott, he and his brother were a charming bunch and she'd be sad to see them go.

"Spencer just had some sort of panic attack and I was wondering if there wasn't something you could do for him, it's got him really flustered." Nate spoke carefully as to avoid the Bostoner that came out when he spoke quickly. Though he had picked up some Southern slang from Eliot he hadn't really grasped the Oklahoman accent properly and how others didn't question his forced mediocre growl compared to Eliot's natural drawl still had him mind boggled.

"That poor dear, you should have paged me." She chastised. "I'll have to get permission from his doctor but I think we'll be able to manage a sedative."

"Do you think there's any way you could avoid telling him it's a sedative?" When Eliot found out about this he'd surely be pissed but as long as it wasn't immediate he'd deal.

"I'll see what I can do." Elaine agreed as she placed the call.

"Thank you" Nate left her to that task as he lifted his phone waiting for an answer before starting a conversation of his own. "Hardison I want you to pack a bag for Eliot, he's being discharged in the morning and I want you and Parker to stay clear of the hospital today." He didn't wait for a reply as he hung up and walked back into room 457.

"What took you so long?" Eliot lifted his head as he heard the door open.

"No signal" Nate lied. He was glad to see Eliot sitting on the bed, though it was more propped on the edge. "I talked to Elaine and she's already drawing the papers to make you a free man." That lie was bigger but the tension that left Eliot as he sat next to him made it worth it.

"Did you tell him not to take all day?"

"He knows." Nate mumbled as he coaxed Eliot over to the middle of the bed.

"Mr. Elliott?" Elaine knocked softly as she entered the room. The shade had been drawn and the lighting was dim at best from the gloomy weather outside.

"Yes?" Nate answered more to keep up appearance than anything.

"We've got approval." She glanced at Spencer for a moment who was indeed looking skittish before pulling a needle from the cupboard she had just unlocked.

Watching the woman carefully Eliot was back on alert the second he spotted a vial. "I don't want anymore of your damn drugs!"

"Sweetie it's for your own good."This wasn't the curtious gentleman she visited and she could see why his brother was worried.

"The hell it is!"

"Sugar it's doctors orders." Elaine moved closer but Eliot scooted back. "I don't want to have to call the orderlies." The last thing she wanted to see was him being held down.

"Call 'em" He laughed bitterly, the ones he had seen would give shame to a pizza deliverers image.

"El," Nate leaned in so that his lips were barely an inch from Eliot's ear as he whispered, "all of that will take time and they might try to keep you here longer. Just get the shot and you can sleep it off on the way home."

It took an almost exasperated moment before Eliot gave a slight nod and Nate motioned for Elaine to continue. He felt guilty for the deception but he knew these were not the circumstances for Eliot to go home under.

"It's the end of my shift but I hope you'll feel better by the time I see you tomorrow Sweetie." She patted a band-aid over the injection sight before dropping the needle in its disposal bin. "Have a good night."

"You too Elaine." Nate bid distractedly as he kept his focus on Eliot.

"I thought you said he knew better than to take all day." Eliot huffed as he rubbed at his eye, the skin around it still held a pull and felt slightly swollen but he'd be first to admit it was an absolute improvement from when he first opened it and though he still hadn't seen himself he'd wager that if there had been bruising it was probably yellow by now.

"He'll be on his way soon enough." Nate raised the head of the bed as he manuevered Eliot closer, his head was already starting to droop.

"When will that be?" Eliot wondered as he watched Nate pull his legs onto the bed, he should've been protesting but he really couldn't find the energy to care.

"He knows when he's supposed to come." Nate mumbled as he kicked off his shoes and sat next to Eliot coaxing him into leaning into him before stretching his legs out.

It was a tight squeeze with him lying on the actual bed and Eliot more on him but it worked, mainly after he got rid of the sling and Eliot could drape his arm across his abdomen and out of the way of bumping it.

"What did she give me?" He was suddenly having a hard time keeping his eyes open and the slight calm that had appeared gave him a few guesses.

"A sedative." Nate answered simply as he rubbed comforting patterns up and down his back. The truth wouldn't hurt now, it was later he'd have to worry.

"So I take it Hardison isn't coming." He tried to focus on Nate's touch to keep him alert but it was only serving to soothe him closer to sleep.

"He'll be here in the morning." He watched as Eliot's eyes slid closed and waited to make sure he had indeed drifted off before he stopped the motion on his back and moved to card his fingers through his hair.

The action was calming to him though rare since Eliot complained whenever he attempted to do so. He had asked why once but the answer was snippy, him saying he didn't want to be petted like an animal. That's what he said but Nate suspected from the look that had appeared in his eyes that it brought back unwanted memories, possibly an ex.

"What set you off like that?" He whispered as he placed a kiss atop Eliot's head. "Which one is it this time Eliot?" He continued smoothing his hair back as he let his fingers run over the pink scar at his hairline and down through tangled curls as he wondered which of Eliot's demons could have caused such an unusual outburst.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: I doubt that will ever happen again. I don't know how I did it but I made that above scene as much fluffy as it is agnsty, that shouldn't even be possible. **

**As for all the attention you guys have been giving me lately.**

**I absolutely love it!**

**I already feel like starting the next chapter because you've all been so awesome. And knowing me, it's probably gonna be a fight.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter twenty-four**

That night he had prepared himself for anger, for the backsplash that would surely come when Eliot woke. When it didn't come he moved to perfect the reasons he would use in the arguement that would take place come morning, though it was now morning and not a word had been shared between them.

Eliot was near dead silent and Nathan feared making a sound would cause an explosion of great lengths. He had the perfect explanation just waiting to be used and the longer he was ignored the more he knew he'd need it.

He just didn't know how to go about things.

The last two hours had been spent with Eliot staring at the ceiling and him staring at Eliot and if it kept up much longer he was positive he'd erupt from such torture.

"I can practically hear you thinking over there." Those words were so unexpected that he nearly jumped at the sound. Eliot showed no outward indication of having said a thing and Nate would have believed himself to be hearing things if he hadn't seen his lips move.

"I'm a thinker." Was the only reply that came to mind, though it was dull at best.

"You're a planner." Eliot corrected as he turned his gaze to Nate. "You'll bleed, sweat, and cry to make sure things turn out the way you want in the end." The words were hard but even.

"Eliot about yesterday," They had locked eyes and as much as Nate wanted to look away he didn't so much as blink.

"There's nothing to say for yesterday." Except maybe he held a false hope believing he could count on Nate.

"Eliot" He could feel the distance Eliot was quickly placing between them. "You weren't doing well yesterday and I had to make a choice, I did what I thought best and if given the option I wouldn't change a thing."

"Nice to know you wont hesitate in gettin' me drugged up again." He looked away with distaste. Of course comin' from Nate an apology would be too much to ask for.

"Now that isn't fair!" He was supposed to be keeping to his speech but anger always seemed to trump rationality. "You were set and intent on hurting yourself and that wasn't a risk I was willing to take! So if you want to be pissed FINE but don't go expecting me to feel bad for helpin' you!"

"I don't expect you to feel a thing."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Here they were yet again and he was tired of being made out as the bad guy.

"I wanted out of here, I asked you to get me out of here and you didn't give a damn." Hurt was how he felt but he wouldn't show it, his injuries were leaving him vulnerable enough.

"The only reason I made sure you stayed was because I do give a damn! How am I supposed to know that you're not suffering some sort of PTSD from being hit by a car or that all of this didn't trudge up some bad memories from one of the many hell holes you're so intent on keeping secret! That I'm actually hearing what you want from me and I'm not catching you in some flash back from a decade ago?" Nate moved about in front of the bed as Eliot glanced out the window. Just once he'd like to know what Eliot wanted from him.

"And staying here is gonna help what? These people don't know me, they know a Spencer Elliott who was probably given some half cocked backround to explain away any questions curious minds might ask." He hadn't bothered to ask but they'd surely dubbed him an ex-soldier who was probably in some sort of the security business. He knew what they thought of him, his silence allowed their imaginations to run wild but they couldn't even begin to understand half of it.

"Did one more day really make that much of a difference? You'll be discharged in less than two hours." Dr. Torlyn seemed more than happy to let them go three days before their scheduled leave.

"The day means nothing, your words do." He didn't like betrayal and it was something Nate always seemed to have him feeling. "If you would have said you wanted to leave I would have said when, I wouldn't have questioned it. I would have stopped to think that maybe the reason you weren't feeling well had to do with the hospital itself. Without a second thought we would've been out of here because that's what was asked of me and I'd do that for you."

He had stopped to look at Nate who was clearly listening but he didn't know if it was to grasp the point or to find another excuse to validate himself. "That's what I'd do for you but what did you do for me? You made false promises, broke my trust repeatedly with multiple lies, you offered me the pretence of a quick escape so I'd allow myself to be drugged quickly and quietly. So like I said there's nothing about yesterday left to be said that wasn't already spoken loud and clear by your actions."

"Eliot I..." Damn it. He had had reasons and an explanation that he had perfected.  
>And where had they gone?<br>Right out the window.

"didn't have time to come up with a plan b." He didn't know why he stupidly allowed himself to expect something different.

Eliot felt played and though he still felt as if he had done the right thing Nate was left feeling like a complete ass. He was at a loss for words and Eliot had just said he didn't want to hear them so he stayed silent as he reclaimed his seat next to the bed.

Eliot had continued staring at the ceiling and he continued staring at Eliot and it was almost, almost as if they had never spoken.

-*-N-E-L-I-0-T-*-

It was over an hour and a half later when Hardison and Parker finally showed with sweats and a t-shirt and to their surprise the mood was quite chilly for the occasion.

Eliot said nothing as he took the clothes they offered and pushed the button to page a nurse. It was Elaine who appeared in the doorway seconds later, Eliot offering her a slight smile as he nudged his head toward the pile of clothes on his bed. She smiled back knowingly as she nodded that she would indeed help him.

It was Nate that left the room first, looking at Eliot with only the slightest hint of hurt in his eye as he turned to leave. Hardison and Parker knew something was up but didn't dare to ask as they followed him.

"Looks like it's about ready to storm out there." Elaine viewed as she pushed his wheelchair toward the exit.

"I hope it does." Parker smiled. She had stayed with Eliot to make sure he was all good and signed out while the other two went to get the cars.

"It's nice to see someone who still appreciates a good rain shower." Elaine herself enjoyed the sounds that came from it but she couldn't say as much for the actual water. "Looks like you're set." She pushed him towards the automobiles where both men were out and waiting. "Now you make sure to follow doctors orders and take care of yourself."

"Yes ma'am." He smiled as he stood, something she was intent on helping him with though he could manage. Well mostly.

"I mean it, and I better not see you back in here sugar." She warned as he settled.

"Not a chance Darlin'." She was well over the age of bein' his momma but he was a charmer and she was flattered and the smile showed it.

"Thank you" Nate offered his hand which she shook as she watched Eliot push the seat all the way back in the car and immediately stretch out his right leg.

"It's my job and I enjoy doin' it. He's a good man and even better company." She excused herself with a wave as she pushed the wheel chair back with a shout of, "See you sometime Sweetie!"

"We set then?" Hardison asked as he showed the keys that Parker promptly snatched. "HEY! No way are you drivin' the injured man anywhere!"

"I can drive just fine!" She didn't know what that was supposed to mean.

"Parker" Nate stressed. "give me the keys."

"It's fine." Eliot snapped, he wasn't waitin' all day for the grass to grow. "Parker lets go." She giddily hopped to the other side of the car and got in.

"I ain't drivin' with you again." He doubted she had passed any actual driving tests and there was no immediate threat so it just wasn't gonna happen.

"Then get a ride with Nate." Parker suggested through Eliot's still open door. The looks she received had her rolling her eyes though she still offered words they'd want to hear. "You go first, I'll follow the whole way there."

They were still reluctant but two minutes later she had them both seatbelted in the car and was following Nate away from the hospital. "Is the rain here really that much different than what we get in Boston?" She wondered aloud as the first few drops hit the windshield.

"It's..." Eliot tried to think of the words for a Southern rain shower as he stared out at his truck. "indescribable."

"Try" She pleaded as she opened the window a slit to feel a slight mist as the rain started falling harder and she had to turn on the wipers.

"It's..." He breathed in the scent that reminded him of wet nights spent on his grandfathers porch, a memory that was a comfort. "home."

"I don't understand." She complained as she followed Nate into the turning lane.

"You wanna see?" He asked as they waited on the arrow.

"What do you mean?" She didn't get what she wasn't seeing as she stared at the drops that rolled down trying to figure out how they could be considered home.

"Let me show you." Eliot offered, the prospect of getting away was more than appealing.

"How?" She turned to look at him annoyed with how long the light was taking.

"Go straight."

"I told Nate I'd follow him." Her grip on the steering wheel tightened as she reminded herself just that.

"We're thieves Parker, he should know by now not to take our words at face value." Maybe it was said a little bitterly but the light had just turned and there wasn't any time before they'd too be doing so.

He just stared at her intently as Nate turned and seconds later smiled when Parker swerved and they barely missed slamming into a jeep, a good dozen horns letting their error be known.

"Where to now?" She asked after a glance in the mirror told her they wouldn't be worrying about the police. She probably should have listened to that little voice, did as she said she would but Eliot was offering a new experience and she was curious.

"Just keep goin'." He reclined in his chair as he simply listened to the rains pitter patter, there were a few places he had in mind and he'd give her directions soon enough but for now he was going to take a minute to lose himself.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

They had heard the screeching of tires, he had turned to see that Parker was no longer behind them, had told Nate as much but he just shrugged it off and kept driving. He had called Parker, or attempted to but soon found out her phone had been turned off. He had even started to track her GPS but Nate confiscated his phone with gruff orders to leave them alone. All of this bothered him but not as greatly or as deeply as his current location.

Hardison was waiting for Nate in no other than a liquor stores parking lot. Parker and Eliot had gone rouge, they could have switched cars, lost her phone, changed aliases, and could very well be over the border in a few hours.

Well maybe that was a little overboard, they probably weren't heading to Mexico but they were still very much missing in his opinion and the only thing it seemed like Nate planned to do was buy a bottle.

"What now?" Hardison questioned as he glared at the bottle of bourbon that had been placed on the bench next to him, Nate hadn't even bothered to get a bag.

"We go back to the house." He switched gears, backing out of his parking space.

"What about Eliot and Parker?" He did not want to be the sole witness to Nate's quest to the bottom of that bottle which was pretty big.

"They can take care of themselves." He glanced down at the liquor with sympathy, in so many ways it was mistreated and misunderstood and he could relate. He had been thinking about that morning and the day before, he had many a thing to figure out and the bourban was there just in case he didn't like the answers he came up with.

"I can't believe that woman! He just got out of the hospital and she knows he's got pills to take and she pulls a stunt like this!" He knew she shouldn't have been allowed to drive but did anyone ever listen to him.

"No," Nate disagreed. "this was Eliot's doing." It was easy to figure that Eliot would take full advantage of his newly found freedom he just didn't expect it to happen so soon. Though he should have, in no way could moving from a room to a house hold more appeal than the open road.

He was trying to reclaim a feeling Nate had denied him and who better to do that with than the woman who chased it over the sides of buildings. He was set and intent on finding an escape and Nate'd let him but when he came back, because he would come back, maybe, just maybe there'd be a set of rules and boundaries waiting for him like the ones he had given not so long ago.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Who owns this place?" Apparently Eliot had wanted to go for a drive because it had been nearly half an hour of her driving around exploring the city and eventually getting completely lost before he finally gave her some direction.

Along the way he pointed out places that caught his interest, offered tidbits on what he knew about them, and announced the rare bird or plant he'd spot out and about. Parker found herself listening intently wondering if that was how everyone felt about the place they grew up. Eliot told her that his dad was in sales so when he'd be gone longer than a few weeks everyone else packed up and went with, he'd seen quite a bit of Oklahoma that way. Had been in a few dozen of it's cities, the longest being four months but they always returned to the family home.

"Somebody that I used to know." Eliot offered dismissively as he sat carefully on a bench.

He had thought of where would show Parker the true beauty in a rain storm and had almost taken her to a barn though further thought rationalized that she probably wasn't redneck enough to appreciate that. He had been about to tell her to turn around when a place he had nearly forgotten came to mind and soon enough they were turning down a private drive that lasted about a mile.

From the road you saw nothing more than a thick of trees but once on the inside you'd have a view of a decently sized greenhouse, one which they had currently taken shelter inside of.

"And they wont mind us being here?" Parker was staring at the glass ceiling watching as the water splattered. She had helped Eliot to the entrance and by the time he sat it was breathless and with a grunt. She wanted to tell him it was time to go back but he was looking content and she was actually enjoying spending time with him.

"No," He breathed as he listened to thunder that sounded more excited than angry. "wont nobody know." The way Parker looked at him had him adding," Unless you tell them."

She shook her head childishly as she sat next to him as if her silence meant she had been sworn to secrecy.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Are you honestly going to just sit there drinking?" Hardison grumbled as he watched Nate poor himself a second glass but he couldn't be too judgemental as he was sipping the liquor instead of throwing it back.

"Did you have something better in mind?" Nate turned from the table he was sitting at to see Hardison pacing.

"Yeah, let me track them down." He did not jump slightly at the unexpected boom of thunder.

"And what? Force them to come back. Believe it or not I can't force them to do something they don't want to." The original plan had been to sort his thoughts but he realized his questions couldn't be answered by himself so although it angered him he'd just have to wait for Eliot to provide them.

"The hell you can't! Obviously you did something to piss him off and you need to fix it because he's gonna end up killin' himself if you don't." He shocked even himself with those words but he meant them. Nate was acting as if he didn't care while he was thinking of the million ways Eliot was going to end up back in the hospital.

"And what did you do to Parker huh? Cause she seemed to be just as eager to get away from you as he was from me!" Hardison had no right assuming and if he wanted to play that game than he'd give it right back to him.

"I didn't do a damn thing and it's not even the same." He sat angrily across from Nate. He was going to go stir crazy if they didn't show up soon.

"How isn't it? You try your best with her and what do you get?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked when Hardison simply sunk further into his chair. "Exactly. You only do what you think is right, try to make it all work but it never seems to be good enough." No matter how hard he tried it always seemed as if he managed to fuck it up and it had him wondering if they would be better off going their seperate ways. Eliot was clearly unhappy and despite his good intentions progress was scarce as they continued making circles.

"What does she want from me?"

"That my friend is the million dollar question." Nate slid his glass to Hardison already getting up to retrieve his own.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"I think I understand what you meant by indescribable now." Her bare feet had found a puddle with just enough mud to squish between her toes, the only thing that would get you in one of Boston's water puddles was some kind of fungus. "But I think it's more attitude than anything else."

"More like the lack of pollution and presence of trees that aren't surrounded by pavement." He offered softly. Parker had opened one of the doors to let some of the breeze in but he had to stop her from going out. He himself would still stand on the roof during a drizzle searching for the vague memory of a feeling he once had but a rain like this would surely have her catching a cold.

"Maybe," She was content with how things were, Eliot leaning against her slighty but she could hear the drowsiness in his voice and knew it was time to go. He didn't say as much but judging by the way he kept readjusting on th bench and stretching out his leg he was aching and it was probably past time for his meds. "but it's not home." She had found that in the team and therefore Boston. "Not mine."

"I can 'cept that." He mumbled as he barely caught his head from drifting to the side. As of lately he'd been fighting sleep as if it was death itself, the drug induced state leaving him feeling more exhaustion than before he fell into it.

"Come on Bubba," Parker stood stretching out with a sigh. "it's time to go. I'm hungry and if we stick around any longer you'll fall asleep on the way back." She wondered if he'd let her come again though.

"So I'm not allowed to catch a nap on the ride back?" He didn't sleep in any form of transportation, it was a rule, but he was wondering why she sounded worried about him dosing.

"Well you can if you want but then we wont make it back."

"Oh?" He watched her pull a face probably mirroring his own expression as she helped him stand. If this was her way of saying she planned to kidnap him he should most likely be worried but there were worse people that could have the job.

"I don't know where we are."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

They had nearly reached the bottom of the bottle and Nate could say with all honesty that most of that liquid was not in the bottom of his belly, but that didn't mean he wasn't a bit buzzed himself. They had swapped sorrows and complaints and really weren't any better off for it.

"To hell with it!" He was Nathan Ford a self proclaimed no good and Eliot knew all of this from the beginning, why should he be expected to change that now.

"To hell with them!" Hardison cheered which Nate soon chorused almost in the same way a toast would be delivered. After that silence fell as they continued to think of the insanity their relationships defined.

In Hardison's opinion Nate had it easier. At least at the end of the day he could say he had problems with his boyfriend. Parker was different, she had him so confused some days that he didn't know whether they were stopping or starting.

With her life was a constant waiting game and right now he was just sitting through another round. "When do you think they'll be back?"

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Do you see the size of this thing? It totally ran away with me but that's probably because everybody up there is acting a mess.**

**Eliot is feeling betrayed and is just trying to get away from his troubles which we all know wont work.**

**Parker got caught up in the moment and didn't even bother with anything really. She didn't even realize that in some form she was used as a get away driver again.**

**Hardison started off on a good straight path but it wasn't long before Nate deviously roped him in. I swear next chapter he'll be sleeping it off on the couch!**

**And Nate? That man is driving me insane!**  
><strong>Every time I try to get something going he has to throw a wrench in it.<strong>  
><strong>After all the work I put into getting them two back together he's thinking about taking the easy way<strong> **out! But the joke of it all is I'm so on his side.**  
><strong>He's misunderstood and Eliot get's that, he really does but now that he has so much being placed on his plate he just wants Nate to be there and a constant but the water's too rocky for that.<strong>  
><strong>Nate's been left to watch every word, action, phrase, and thought and there's just no way he wont rock the boat no matter how hard he tries and of course he's getting tired of that and if it continues it will only be a matter of time before he's calling it quits.<strong>

**So it's actually all Eliot's fault, LOL (don't ask where the rant came from) but seriously it is just so much easier to get these two fighting than to have them play nice but I'll work on it and hopefully by the next chapter I'll manage to get them talking and maybe even pry an I'm sorry from Nate's stubborn self.  
><strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Tweny-five**

The rain though it changed pace had been a constant throughout the day and not even night that had fallen several hours ago seemed to put a stop to it.

Eliot and Parker had shown around three, Hardison having passed out on the couch an hour earlier, relatively safe and sound.

He had planned to speak with Eliot about the strain this accident had been putting on their relationship but those thoughts were quickly pushed to the side as he became more concerned with the strain Eliot was putting on his leg as he attempted the porch stairs. Nate quickly moved to help him into the house, Parker pointing out the bedroom she and Hardison had picked as Eliot's before excusing herself to find Eliot's prescription.

They didn't speak but Nate felt the air between them had lost some of its weight since that morning which he was thankful for.

Soon after he had accepted the medication Parker offered obvious exhaustion took over and Eliot was out for the count, Nate leaving Parker on her own a few hours later as he joined Eliot for the night.

Now he was blinking sleep from his eyes as he glanced at the clock that read a little after one trying to figure out what had woke him. He listened carefully but heard nothing more than the storm outside, still something felt off somewhere and his thoughts quickly went to Eliot.

Hardison and Parker were upstairs, Eliot having gotten the only room on the main floor, so it surely couldn't be them. The even breaths next to him told him Eliot was still sleeping which was strange but not a cause for concern. Sighing he removed himself from the bed and eventually the room as quietly as he could performing a search of the house, only after a full inspection of every door and window and finding two more sleeping bodies did he return to their room.

Still he felt uneasy, but he planned to ignore it figuring it had to do with staying in a house he was unfamiliar with but something continued to nag him like a thorn in the side until finally he decided to turn on the light. It was a side lamp so the room remained fairly dim but the light was more than enough to show the pain on Eliot's nearly healed face.

He'd seen pain there before but never had he seen this and it was bothersome.  
>In the near two years they had been together nearly every emotion had surfaced between them but this new experience took all of that to another level.<p>

Eliot was crying in his sleep.

There were no sniffles or whimpers, nothing to suggest he wasn't doing well but the silent tears that ran slowly over his nose dripping onto the pillow from his turned face said differently.

Nate just sat there stunned, he had never seen a tear stain Eliot's face and now he was witnessing just that.

Why was he crying?  
>Nate hadn't an idea, he knew Eliot's life hadn't been an easy one and he was sure more than one occasion had left him near tears.<p>

Should he wake him?  
>He didn't seem to be in distress but maybe the tears were from physical pain, he was supposed to take his pain meds every six hours and it had been over ten.<p>

But Eliot didn't appear to be hurting, no Nate recognized that look as emotional agony and it had him wondering if those tears were there for his fault.  
>That thought angered him and he was soon thumbing them away, tears didn't belong on Eliot's face, he deserved a rest that wouldn't be disturbed by his burdens even if Nate was classified as one of those for the moment.<p>

He had just ran the back of his fingers over Eliot's cheek bone when those icy eyes snapped open soon meeting his. Eliot just stared with watery eyes his gaze so intense that he was more looking in Nate than at him.

Nate could have said something, should have said something, questioned or hounded, fretted or pried but he didn't.  
>He simply reached over, turned off the light, layed down, and pulled Eliot closer.<br>He didn't say anything as Eliot layed his head down on his chest, didn't mention how the tears that were falling harder soaked his shirt as he ran his hand over Eliot's hair to keep it from falling in his face.

Sometimes words just weren't enough and answers weren't necessary.

They stayed like that, Nate holding Eliot close continuing to offer comfort until he could no longer fight the pull and he eventually fell to sleep.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

It didn't seem very long at all before the birds were chirping and his eyes were opening again. He was greeted by an early morning light and knew it couldn't be past seven, Eliot was still lying on his chest and he moved an arm to pull him closer as he attempted to stretch. He loosened his hold when he heard a grunt of pain with a mumbled, "Sorry"

"S'alright" His shoulder was still a bother and his ribs ached but Eliot was content with where he was for the moment. He hadn't found it in himself to return to sleep and had instead listened to the steady rhythm of Nate's heart wondering what he'd say about the events of that night.

"Get up." Nate nudged as he moved to sit up himself.

Eliot didn't really feel like it but did as he was told watching Nate disappear into the bathroom for a few minutes before leaving the room with a hurried, "be right back." When he returned it was with a glass of water, hand of pills, and an expectant gaze.

"Really?" Nate didn't budge though and eventually he was lifting his head to take the medicine.

"When did you get to be so lazy?" Nate mocked jokingly as he sat on the side of the bed placing the glass off to the side. Eliot had just plopped his head back down on a pile of pillows, having stole Nate's to use as a third.

"Lazy?" He already felt useless and here Nate was making him feel worse about it. "I am not lazy."

So a joke hadn't been the smartest move but Nate wasn't sure where they stood after yesterday and he really didn't feel like bringing it back up. "I'm sorry."

Eliot just nodded and left it be, they had enough problems already and it'd be a waste of time to blow something so juvenille out of porportion. "About last night..." He began but stopped as Nate shook his head.

"You took some time for you and that's okay." He didn't want an explanation, didn't feel like he deserved one.

"We need to talk." Eliot sighed as he stared at Nate. He wasn't excited about this conversation but they couldn't put it off forever.

"And we will," Nate promised. "but it can wait until you're feeling better."

"The longer we ignore things the worse off we'll be." He had resigned himself to Nate's mood shifts but things were starting to get out of hand and it wasn't looking good. He hadn't told Nate as much but this was the first serious relationship that he had had in a very long time and there was a reason for that. He hadn't even wanted this one to exist but with time his mind had changed and he was dead set on changing his ways with it.

"I'm not going to ignore you, not again." He swore as he kissed Eliot's forehead.

"Stop," Eliot grabbed the front of his t-shirt to keep him close. "stop blaming yourself." He knew he had hit the nail when Nate dropped his head to touch his own closing his eyes with guilt. "It wasn't your fault." He gave a soft kiss to ease Nate's mind as he clenched his eyes tighter. "It wasn't."

"It was." He whispered in Eliot's ear as he started rubbing circles on his side. "It was and I'm sorry." Nate apologized again as he started kissing down Eliot's neck, angered by the scratches his fingers found as they slid up Eliot's shirt.

"Nate it's fine, I'm fine."

"No!" He sat up angry with Eliot for saying such a thing. "No it's not! These," he pointed to quite a few different injuries. "these don't belong here. Not this one," He dragged his fingers from Eliot's knee, up his thigh and over the fabric of his boxers to his hip. The leg held plenty of color and the knee didn't look to have lost much swelling, probably because Eliot insisted on using it before he'd been given the clearance to do so.

"Nate it isn't as bad as it looks." They were dressed the same, in boxers and t-shirts, but he was feeling exposed. He moved to get up but Nate pushed him back down.

"No Eliot! You shouldn't have any marks and how many haven't I seen yet?" Pushing the shirt up he ignored Eliot's attempts to pull it down as he got his first glance at his boyfriends torso. "I put this here." There was a horrible discoloring on Eliot's side that traveled past where he could see, though his fingers continued to follow behind Eliot's back. "I did this." It was a vain thought to think he could kiss away the marks that Eliot had been left to wear but he tried with as many as he could see anyway.

"You did this?" It took a bit of effort and the use of both hands which wasn't the brightest move but Eliot had gotten himself away from Nate and into a sitting position. If you did this than tell me why! Why the hell did you want something like this to happen?" If anyone was to be placed with blame Eliot would claim it for himself but maybe using Nate's guilt against him would help to finally figure out what had happened that night.

"I didn't want it to happen! I didn't want it to but it's my fault that it did!  
>All I had to do was listen but could I manage that!" He was more yelling at himself than anything else. "All of this could have been avoided if I'd stop being such an idiot!"<p>

"How? What happened?" Eliot honestly didn't care that Nate hadn't been listening it was the thought that he had done something wrong and it angered him.

"Rebecca"

"Rebecca?" He had to make sure he had heard right for how faint it was. What could his niece have to do with anything?

"She was crying." Eliot remembered how tears had started down her face when they left but it was her way of trying to guilt people into staying. She had taken to Nate instantly and he had promised to return but he didn't see how that had anything to do with what had happened between them. "When Sam was younger he'd sit by the door every morning and beg me not to leave." Nate's voice was shaky as he looked at his feet but this was something he needed to get out.

"And Becca brought it back up." He suddenly understood Nate's reaction and felt like kicking himself for not realizing kids would be a touchy subject for him, especially being around them.

"After he got sick I'd spend every moment that I could with him." Eliot had moved closer and he appreciated the gesture, he did but it didn't help much.

"The day he..." He tried to form the word but it wouldn't come and he didn't really care to bother with it as he moved on. " that day I spent with him. Maggie and I had been arguing most of the morning and the day had been hard for Sam too ..., I just wanted a minute.  
>He begged me not to go but I didn't listen, all I planned to do was stretch my legs, to just go down the hall for some coffee and I'd be right back.<br>What could possibly happen in that time?" His laugh was humorless and bitter.

"Sam pleaded with me not to leave, the last words I heard from him were... don't go daddy." Once again he heard them and it felt like a little more of himself was being killed. "Hearing Becca cry was like going back to that room all over again." He bit his lip to keep himself from going into those thoughts and pulling away. "I wasn't there for him when he needed me, I wasn't there."

"I'm sorry Nate, I should've known."

"I watched my son die, ..." Nate was past hearing as he continued on. "My baby was alone for the last minutes of his life for no damn reason!"

"Nate there was nothing you could have done." Some things just weren't mentioned and Sam was a big one. He wished he would have known so he could have avoided causing Nate this hurt, he knew it all to well and the best he had figured to do with it was bury it, deep.

"You're not seeing." Nate shook his head as he brought himself back to the original point of their conversation. "I haven't dealt with his death and it nearly caused yours!"

"Well then," Eliot grabbed Nate's hand as he began hearing movement above. "we make the best of this. We learn from our mistakes and move forward."

"They were my mistakes yet you're the one paying the price." He could never seem to do good for those he loved and it left him believing that Eliot would be better off without him.

"They're ours and sometimes some lessons just need to be learned the hard way." Blame was a vicious thing and Nate clearly wasn't ready to forgive himself but now that the air was clear perhaps they could start moving forward again.

"I'm still sorry." Nate placed a kiss to Eliot's hair as he got up to get ready for the day. Hardison and Parker would be making appearances soon and he wanted to have himself back under check before that happened.

"So am I Nate, so am I."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Woohoo look at that!**  
><strong>I fixed everything! :)<strong>

**Who actually believes it will stay like that? Yeah, me neither.**

**Not sure how I feel about the first ep of season five, (what do you guys think?) but I'm excited it's finally here! It also inspired this because the more I'm told Neliot isn't happening the more rebelious I become, LOL**

**Hope you liked this and as a treat for us all next chapter will be complete fun and nonsense!**


	26. Chapter 26

**I dedicate this one to my adorable puppy who turned two today!  
>HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOLLIE!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-six<strong>

"I'm hungry." Parker grumbled to no one inparticular.

"Didn't you just eat?" Eliot reminded as he looked at Hardison who was looking at him funny, as if he was searching or trying to piece something together.

"Breakfast!" That should have been obvious.

"Which you had barely an hour ago." Only Parker would want to eat two meals so close together.

"And?"

"Okay what?" Eliot stopped talking to Parker as he questioned Hardison. "Why are you staring?"

"I'm not." Hardison moved his eyes to prove his point though they both knew he was.  
>He hadn't been able to make out what was said but he woke that morning to raised voices and that topped with Eliot being propped in the middle of the bed with all the pillows had him wondering if Nate had even spent the night in this room.<p>

"The hell you aren't!" Eliot could feel his gaze and knew for some reason or another Hardison was trying to read him.

"I swear I'm not." He didn't want to say anything, didn't believe it his business to but he was worried.  
>Nate was off in another part of the house somewhere as if he was avoiding Eliot.<br>He knew yesterday that something was off between them but didn't figure it to be as bad as it was, but a fight before nine in the morning?  
>That was something serious.<p>

"WHO CARES!" Parker interrupted.

"Who cares about what?" Nate snuck into the bedroom and with it the conversation.

"Lunch" Hopefully Nate would be a better choice for this topic.

"Sounds good to me." He moved to the dresser to grab his wallet. "Why don't you and Hardison go pick something up."

"Is there anything specific you would like to request?" Hardison spoke in an uppity tone as he took the money. He heard Nate's words for what they were, an order.

"Anything's fine with me but," It wouldn't be possible to stretch that word out anymore. "since you're going out I do have a few things that I need you to get." He handed Parker the list he had spent the last forty minutes making.

"Honestly Nate," Hardison glanced over the first paper of a three page list. "we'll have to go to at least five or six places to find all of this."

"Well then you better get going." He suggested as Parker called that she was driving and Hardison took off like a bat out of hell to insure that didn't happen.

"Did you just send them on a scavenger hunt?"Eliot asked after he was sure the other two had indeed left.

"Maybe" Nate shrugged as he kicked off his shoes and socks.

"Why?" Eliot watched Nate sit on the edge of the bed pulling his shirt over his head by the hem.

"Well," The shirt was tossed to the side as he moved to Eliot's. "if I remember correctly I was supposed to shower this morning."

"So you sent everyone away? There's another shower upstairs you know." Eliot knew which way he wanted this to go but with Nate you could never be certain.

"Yeah. I know," Nate mumbled as Eliot lifted up and he got rid of the shirt. "but then I thought of someone who had been begging me to bathe."

"And?" Nate had started a trail of kisses from behind his ear moving over his throat and down his chest, his hands sliding down his sides and to the elastic of the basketball shorts he had put on that morning.

"And how much better it would be to share that tub in there with you." He knew Eliot would be thrilled with that, he hadn't been allowed use of a tub since the shower he had taken Easter morning and that had been two weeks ago.

"You should have come up with a longer list." Eliot complained as he ran his fingers over Nate's chest. The last thing he wanted was for those two to be showing up anytime soon and with his luck they probably would.

"Trust me with some of the things on there we've got three hours at least." He had made up a few things and the last item on the list was more of a task saying 'get groceries' which was probably the only thing they actually needed off of there.

"Then don't waste it." Thinking about the boot he'd have to remove, the hand that needed wrapping, and the stitches that needed to be covered had him snapping back to reality.

"Not a chance." Nate lifted himself from the bed and to the bathroom where he started drawing water for their bath. He and Eliot had made it over another bump in the road and he was going to celebrate because with them the smooth sailing never lasted long.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Nate! Nate what was up with that list?" Hardison yelled as he walked through the door dropping his bags on the floor.

"I needed everything on there." Nate managed to keep a straight face as he spoke, they had taken nearly five hours instead of the predicted three.

"Really! What did you need a George Strait CD for?" They were relaxing on the couch with the game on while he had been busting his butt looking for the items Nate asked for. He'd have sworn half of the things on there were fake.

"For Eliot" Eliot just stared at Nate for a minute before shrugging, he'd take it.

"Are you going to help me get the rest?" Parker huffed as she dropped an armful of bags on a chair. She had actually enjoyed the shopping, it wasn't like when Sophie dragged her along and they spent hours looking at absolutely nothing of interest. No this trip was straight to the point and had actual reasoning behind it.

"I'll help." Nate got up but Parker didn't follow as she moved toward Eliot.

"Your hair's braided." Parker was inspecting his head like it was a safe she planned to crack.

"Yeah." Eliot pushed a few of the strays back, sure it was something knew but she was looking at him as if braiding his hair back was one of the stupidist or craziest things she had ever seen.

"You braided his hair?" Parker questioned Nate knowing that you needed two hands for the task.

"Why? Is there a problem?" He had been brushing through Eliot's wet head when he realized how tempermental the humidity was making it and as much as he loved playing with Eliot's hair he did not have plans to blow dry it so he braided it back instead.

"Nope, you look cool." Parker announced. She didn't know Nate knew how to braid.

"Hah, more like the bearded lady." Hardison laughed. Eliot was looking extremely scruffy and the razor he had been sent after was probably the only thing that would see actual use.

"Lady? Lady my ass!" Eliot growled, he did not look like a damn woman.

"Hey now," Hardison put up his hands as he backed up. "don't get your panties all twisted."

"Oh I'm gonna twist somethin' if you don't get outta here." He only had to shift forward the slightest before Hardison was out the door grumbling about no respect and how he wasn't scared of him.

Eliot wouldn't ever hit the man but he was sure tempted sometimes.  
>The vague thought of him being able to get away with it now had him remembering Hardison's declaration of fighting the injured and it had him wondering if Hardison would actually attempt it.<br>If he did he'd regret it, not because Eliot would retaliate because he wouldn't but because Hardison would scare himself to death with the thought that he would.

"Want some?" Parker flipped on the couch with her cookies figuring three people weren't really needed to empty the car.

He accepted one not really bothered that she changed the channel. Nate was the one that really liked to watch sports, sure he enjoyed the occasional game but he preferred to play them. "What did you guys get for dinner?"

"Stuff" Hardison spoke from behind them, he must have come through the back door with the rest of his bags. "We fiigured you'd have an idea or two about what you wanted so we just got the basics. Meat, vegetables, junk like that."

"Who's cookin'?" Surely they weren't expecting him to because it wasn't happening.

The x-ray he had gotten of his femur last showed it was nearly healed having been a minute fracture but that would change if he didn't let the bone rest. His stitches were still in place on his thigh and the muscle continued to burn, only intensifying when he pulled against where it was trying to repair itself.

"Well obviously not you." Hardison rolled his eyes at Eliot's accusation.  
>Like they'd really expect the one armed man to make dinner.<p>

"Don't worry 'bout it." Nate dismissed as he came in and leaned on the back of the couch between Parker and Eliot. He had to feed Eliot and while he was at it he might as well feed the other two.

"How'd you bruise your neck?" Parker poked the mark that had become visible as Nate turned his head.

"Parker you don't poke people in the throat." Nate's hand went to feel for the mark as the tips of his ears began to tint. He hadn't noticed it but the glint in Eliot's eye said he had and in his opinion Eliot was looking way too happy with having put it there.

"Well?" Hardison crossed his arms as he too waited for an explanation.

"Come on Parker you can help me with dinner." Nate ignored Alec as he and Parker went into the kitchen. He'd let Eliot deal with this one.

"For real? A hicky?" Hardison spoke in disbelief as he sat in Parker's vacant spot.

"It's not a hicky." Eliot denied, Hardison sounded like he was reprimanding a teenager and it was laughable.

"Yeah because all spider bites look like that." Eliot was stupid if he thought he'd believe that.

"It's not a spider bite." Eliot spoke with complete seriousness. "He was attacked by the vaccum."

Hardison couldn't help it, within seconds he was laughing.  
>He had to hand it to Eliot for that one, he had never seen him as serious as he was now and he was admiring the self control it had to be taking. "You know what," Hardison cleared his throat as he tried to match Eliot's stern eyes. "we'll go with that." Maybe he had misunderstood their arguing that morning, or maybe not but he hoped this meant they had worked things out.<p>

"Why wouldn't we? It's the truth." The inside of his cheek was sore from how hard he had bit it to keep from laughing but it was worth it. No way was he talking hickies with Hardison and adding the joke was his way of claiming the blame without turning an uncomfortable moment into an awkward conversation.

They turned their heads toward the kitchen having heard an accusing gasp followed by a very loud, "It's a hicky!"

Eliot tried to keep his serious tone, he really did but Parker being so late to the game left him unable to hold back. He could picture Nate's face perfectly and he was sure if he wasn't ready to kill him at the very least they'd be having some words later on tonight.

"Naw Parker," Hardison left Eliot on his own as he went to the kitchen. "the vaccum did it!"

No there'd be no words, Nate was going to kill him.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Random much? That's what I thought too, but it was fun.  
>TFR<br>**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter** **Twenty-Seven**

_"You should have told me!"_

_"I am right now." Eliot breathed. It had been a hard month but he was finally up and moving again._

_"What will you do now?" He watched as she distanced herself by clearing dishes from the table, her home complete in one room._

_"What do you mean? I'm stayin' with you." The way she stopped to stare at him had him rethinking that. "If you'll have me."_

_"You have a woman back in America, you've promised her your heart."_

_"Yeah, I said she could have it but it's not mine to give anymore." Eliot pulled her closer and she went if not the least bit reluctant. "Itza, you stole it."_

_"You are only saying what you believe I want to hear.  
>I do not know how the women in your country would deal with a situation such as this but I will not keep a man that belongs to another."<em>

_"Maritza I'm yours.  
>If I return home and fulfill my promise it will only ruin three lives.<br>My heart will stay with you, yours will come with me, and she'll be left sufferin' because I misunderstood."_

_"How do you suddenly just not love a woman?"_

_Eliot heard the accusation. She believed if he could jump so quickly from Aimee than he would do the same with her. "Because I didn't know what love was. I have love for her but I'm not in love with her."_

_"So you claim but who's to say I wont end up with the same fate?"_

_"Trust. The same way that I trusted you wouldn't hand me over to my death."_

_"And if I ask you to leave?" The words were whispered at best._

_"Then I'll go, but I don't want to hear that you want me to leave, I want you to tell me that you don't want me to stay. That you don't love me the way I do you, that I'm not welcome here anymore."_

_"Stay"_

The word was like a knife as he lost all the air from his lungs and his eyes flew open with a horrid pain.  
>It took several minutes to calm his breathing and in that time he learned that he was alone, glad Nate wasn't going to be witness to his second set of tears in as many days.<p>

"I'm sorry." She was sending these dreams to remind him that it was all his fault. "I'm so sorry." She was haunting him with memories of what could have been. Letting him know that no matter how innocent he might have been at the time his life was meant to be a tarnishment, a plague to anyone who might be unlucky enough to cross his path.

He had ruined his first chance by stealing a second, that had gone straight to hell and everything he could have hoped for with it. He had turned himself into a monster, destroyed the good man he had once been, he didn't deserve a third.  
>Nate didn't deserve to be stuck with him; he didn't deserve Nate.<p>

No, Nate could still manage to pull himself together if he tried, his hands were still clean, but his? the things he had done with them would... NO! Eliot stopped himself from delving any deeper into those depressing thoughts.  
>He might not have deserved his third chance but Nate did.<br>Nate deserved to be happy and he wouldn't ruin that because he wanted to punish himself.

The clock read a little past eleven and for nearly mid day it was fairly quiet in the house.  
>With a strength he didn't believe he should have he sat up and eventually stood stumbling to a wall that quickly became his guide out of the room.<br>The steps were slow and painful but it was something to focus on when his mind was so against him. "Nate?"

The living room was empty and he wasn't hearing anything from the kitchen. "NATE!" Eventually he had to let go of the wall and his steps became even slower as he made his way to the front window. He had become completely reliant on others and objects while moving but now seeing no cars in the driveway confirmed he was alone and vulnerable to falling.

The one time he needed a distraction and they were gone, had probably come to their senses and left while he was sleeping.

He shook his head to clear it as he rationalized they wouldn't do that, he just needed to stay positive until he could put those memories back where they belonged.

Her voice continued to ring in his ears though, the silence making it so much easier to hear the hate and he was quickly drowning in it. He needed noise, a sound other than hers in his ears and it had him nearly tripping to the stereo as he slammed his bad hand against it in a desperate attempt to start it as her voice grew louder. It helped some as he focused on the words but eventually she was back and he used his own voice to drown her out as he sunk to the couch.

"...You know Lord I've been in a prison  
>For something that I never done<br>It's been one hill after another  
>I've climbed them all one by one<p>

But this time Lord you gave me a mountain  
>A mountain you know I may never climb<br>It isn't just a hill any longer  
>You gave me a mountain this time" If that wasn't an understatement. Men climbed mountains, he himself had been to the top of three but this, this one would never end.<p>

"My woman got tired of the heartaches  
>Tired of the grief and the strife<br>So tired of working for nothing  
>Just tired of being my wife<br>She took my one ray of sunshine  
>She took my pride and my joy<br>She took my reason for living..." The next words were too close to speak so he left them unsaid as he hummed through the rest. He couldn't even lose the guilt in music, the lyrics reminding him of the burden he had been left with for taking those things from her.

"Why'd you stop? It was pretty."He quickly ran a hand over his face as he turned toward Parker's voice.

"I thought you left."

"Nope, I'm bab-, I was waiting for you to wake up." Babysitting wouldn't be the best term to use on Eliot.

"You should have woke me." He really wished she would've. There were reasons he didn't like to sleep too long; one of those being the memories of what had happened to the last person he had slept a full eight hours with.

"Nate said you went to bed really late and not to bother you." Parker spoke as if she was mimicking his exact words as she grabbed the stereo remote and joined Eliot on the couch.

"Well what did I tell you about listening to him?" Encouraging Parker not to listen to direction probably wasn't the best but less than four hours of sleep and he was trying not to shake from what had been stirred.

"Do another one."

"What?" He was confused but right now it was strangely welcome.

"Song... here do this one." Parker turned the volume up slightly as she looked to Eliot expectantly.

"I don't know the words." He shook his head but it didn't deture her.

"What about this one... No this one... No, no do this one."She nodded her head in approval as she settled on a station. "I like this one."

"I'm not a damn jukebox Parker." She pouted but he didn't budge.

"Fine, I'll just sing myself." He was expecting to hear her rendition of the one playing but what he got was far from it.  
>"I've been on my own for two hours and I'm bored, I'm bored!<br>Was already outside with the flowers and I'm bored, I'm bored!  
>I wish I had supernatural powers and I'm bored, I'm bored!<br>Eliot wont si-"

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" He could not bring himself to listen to another verse of what had to be the worst song in the world. "You win. Whatdya wanna here?"

With a cheeky smile she shrugged her shoulders innocently.

A song for Parker? He didn't even know what she listened to.

"Do something pretty."

A pretty song for Parker?  
>Well if that didn't just kick all of the get drunk because you're a no good that ruined every decent thing you ever had songs out the window.<br>Too bad too because those were the only ones he was coming up with.

Rock was a place that there was a vast amount to choose from but he wouldn't consider it pretty.

Classics and oldies were probably closer to it but he had learned most of those from his grandmother and though he loved them and her those memories didn't need to be on his mind while he was trying to clear it.

Gospel was another place where the choices were near endless but he didn't know how Parker felt about religion so he figured it best to steer clear.

No way was she getting anything R&B or soulful from him and pop, HA, he'd die first so it'd have to be country.

A country song that was pretty?  
>Well that cut out most of the ones he knew.<br>A blue collared, 9-5, drinking, just got my heart broke, gonna go out and party, those were what he knew and they weren't pretty.  
>Hell even most of Taylor swift's songs were F-yous and no that did not mean he knew them though he still wouldn't consider them pretty.<p>

"There's a little moonlight," He would have never imagined singing romance to Parker but it was sure better than her continuing on with whatever she called that mess she had been stabbing his ears with.  
>"dancing on the sand<br>There's a warm breeze blowin' by the ocean as you're takin' my hand  
>You need to know... where I'm standing now<br>That I'm right on the edge of givin' into ya  
>Baby it's a long way down" She turned off the stereo as she watched him settle into the corner of the couch closing his eyes as he did so.<p>

"If I fall can you let me down easy?  
>If I leave my heart with you tonight will you promise me that you're gonna treat it right?<br>I'm barely hangin' on  
>If I fall, can you let me down easy?<p>

The scent of your perfume floatin' in the air  
>You're lookin' like an angel lying on a blanket with a halo of hair<br>And those lips look too good to be true  
>Once I taste that kiss, I know what'll happen... I'll be at the mercy of you<p>

So if I fall can you let me down easy?  
>If I leave my heart with you tonight.. will you promise me girl you're gonna treat it right?<br>I'm barely hangin' on... so if I fall can you let me down easy?  
>If I fall can you let me down easy?<br>Just let me down easy."

"Is that how you feel?"

Eliot opened his eyes having been trying to focus on the happy while Parker listened to the pretty. "About?"

"Nate, Is that how you feel about Nate?" He had not been expecting that or the intensity in her stare as she waited.

"Do I feel like that about Nate?" It was a question he'd have to answer for himself first and he took his time doing it. "Well I guess you could say I've felt like that about a lot of things Parker. No one wants to get hurt but sometimes you just have to risk it to see if in the end there'll be a reward."

"So Nate's a risk?" Geeze was this twenty questions or what.

"Every relationship is, there's only two ways it can go and them ain't good odds." Though he wasn't risking much with Nate having already lost it all. There were only a few feelings from his blackened heart left and it really wouldn't make much of a difference if they got hurt.

"We're thieves remember. We make sure the odds are fixed in our favor." He couldn't help it, he laughed and she smiled.

"Are you trying to say something there?"

"Yeah," Parker nodded as she glanced at the clock, nearly noon. "you shouldn't buy the ticket if you're just going to throw it away." He had no idea what she meant but somehow it made sense anyway.

"I'll keep that in mind." He offered instead of questioning anymore as he absently itched at one of his bandaged fingers.

"You're Bleeding!" Parker nearly jumped as if the sight of blood frightened her.

"I am?" Following her eyes downward he spotted the small pool of blood staining his shirt.

"Why are you bleeding!"

Parker calm down!" She was pretty close to a major freak out and it was stressing him. He lifted his shirt slightly to find his stomach stained but not bleeding.

"How are you bleeding if you're not bleeding!"

"Parker seriously st-" and that's when they spotted exactly where the blood was coming from.

"How did you do that!" She pulled his right hand to her, inspecting the split in his palm.

"Ahh, you wanna watch that!" Only Parker would squeeze broken fingers.

"I'll be back." She hurriedly left the couch leaving him to stare at his hand.

It was speckled in pink spots that were in various stages of healing from where the skin had taken damage and atop all of it was dried blood. It could have been caused while on his trip from the bedroom but it was probably from the stereo, hitting it really wasn't one of his best calls unless he was trying to dislocate his thumb again or make his one good finger feel wanted and make it match the others.

"Gimme" Parker pulled his hand back as she settled back down with her supplies.

"Parker it's fine." She looked as if she was ready for surgery and he was liking his hand in one piece.

"Nate will have a cow." She shook her head as she began wiping the blood away.

"I'm not gonna tell him." Nate already yelled at him for every little thing, not happy with his refusal of a wheel chair or anything about the situation really and he wasn't going to be stupid enough to add to it.

"He'll know, he always does." She whispered looking over her shoulder as if any minute now he'd actually appear.

"Where is he?" He had been awake when Nate went into the bathroom that morning but had dosed before he had come back out.

"With Hardison." Her interest was suddenly bent and intent on the backing of a band-aid and he was suspicious.

"Parker where are they?"

"Court."

"Court? What the hell are they doing in court?"

"The guy that hit you didn't want a trial." Nate had told her to keep Eliot away from the questions until he got back but honestly had he ever tried lying to Eliot, the mans eyes were like pure fire. "Nate's giving his testimony before sentencing and Hardison said he's going to make sure the man gets what he deserves."

"And nobody thought I deserved to know about this! They can't just go lookin' for revenge like that!" He was mad that they were keeping shit like that from him, especially Nate who had told him all of this was already done and closed for them.

"He hit you Eliot!"

"So I would have gone over there and hit him back! I would've taught him a thing or two but I don't need Hardison trying to get him locked up for life!"

"Not life, just a few decades." Parker mumbled as she started clearing the mess she had made.

"I still don't think it's right, ya'll could have atleast said something." He glanced at the fresh band-aid on his palm appreciating the gesture even though he knew it'd fall off within an hour or two.

"I'm sorry." Hearing Parker apologize swarmed him with guilt, she hadn't done anything wrong and he hadn't meant to make her feel responsible for any of the trouble they had been dragged into.

"How 'bout after I change we order some pizza?" Before he even made to move she was by his side and offering help.

He'd never ask but he wouldn't turn it down either.  
>It was hard for Parker to interact with others and he wouldn't have Sophie on him for postponing the girls progress.<br>Maybe he'd convince her to hang out in the bedroom with him, he could prop up his leg that way and keep her from remembering about his damn meds.  
>They left him drowsy and he usually drifted off and right now he'd preffer to get run over again than fall back to sleep and with it nightmares.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>EN: So a bit music-ee which isn't usually my style but I figured I'd give you guys a puzzle.  
>Those songs weren't picked by my liking of them but for the story they tell and if you're familiar with them or read a little bit more into the lyrics you might find some of Eliot's back story hidden and even some spoilers for the upcoming chapters.<br>It's like the hidden image in the paper, Happy Hunting!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter** **Twenty-eight**

The house was dark when Nate and Hardison finally made it back and they didn't bother to change that as Hardison moved to the kitchen and Nate headed for the bedroom.

The room was dark, the only light coming from the television in the corner which illuminated Parker's sleeping frame. He moved to turn it off as he began loosening his tie but was startled by Eliot's gruff, "Leave it."

"I thought you were sleeping." Eliot didn't answer as he watched Nate remove his coat and shoes, eventually disappearing into the bathroom to change from his suit.

"It must have been some sentencing." It wasn't accusing just wonderous. According to the time Parker said they left Nate had been gone for nearly fourteen hours.

"Not really," He didn't feel like going over the days events. "but your brother was there."

"Eliot just nodded, Nate obviously didn't plan on telling him what he spent the rest of the day doing and he really didn't want to know. "You talk ta' him?"

"He asked how you were doing, if you had talked to Sarah yet."

"What did you tell him?" He shifted his attention to Parker for a second as she took a deep breath but turned it back to Nate when she rolled over.

"That you were getting there; I didn't want to overstep with the rest so I kept it vague.  
>He says to call him so he knows you're still kickin' and to not even think about leaving without going to see him first." Aaron reminded him of the Eliot he got to see on the rare occasions when he didn't keep himself so guarded and it was nice to see he had been accepted so easily.<p>

"You done with playin' Mr. Elliott now?" It was becoming clear that Parker probably slept in the middle of the bed as she edged closer to them and nearly kicked Nate in the process.

"For all legal purposes yes.  
>He had a laugh of a lawyer and the judge gave him fo-"<p>

"I don't care.  
>It's done with and I don't wanna hear about it anymore." They had kept him out of the loop since the beginning so why should he give a rats now?<p>

It was quiet for the next few minutes as Eliot listened to Hardison move about up above and Nate tried to place a name to the movie playing as he watched a building explode. "What did you do today?"

"Nothing really.  
>Parker knocked out about an hour ago." He had sat through quite a few strange T.V. choices but other than that the day had been uneventful.<p>

"Did you eat?" Parker's idea of dinner wasn't ideal for anyone, especially Eliot who shied away from most artificial things.

"No" Parker had offered him a hot pocket around six but he had declined.

"Do you want me to make you something?" Nate yawned out as he pulled a hand through his hair.

"I'm not hungry." He didn't want to be waited on, he wanted to have somebody close, to be close to somebody and no disrespect to Parker but she wasn't it.

"You sure?  
>What about your meds, did you take your pills?" Eliot was as bad as a toddler with a temperature when it came to his prescription.<p>

"No" He didn't need to lie, that and he knew if Nate doubted him even the slightest he'd go in the kitchen and count them all out.

"Why?  
>Eliot how the hell do you want to get rid of the swe-" Nate continued more to himself as he left the room and Eliot could no longer hear him.<p>

"Parker" He spoke lightly as he nudged at her shoulder.  
>If it wasn't for the barely existant control he had over himself at the moment he'd probably let her stay, send Nate somewhere else to sleep, but he didn't need her to be witness if he had another break down. "Darlin' you gotta get up."<p>

"Nuh-uh" She mumbled as she curled in on herself.

"Come on, you gotta."

She grumbled and stretched in protest but eventually sat up with a near whimpered, "meanie" leaving the room with Nate's pillow clung to her chest.

Seconds later Nate was back with an arm full, including his pillow.

"You could have let her have it."

"I could've." Nate shrugged as he tossed the pillow over to his side, handing Eliot an ice pack as he went in the bathroom for a towel.  
>Eliot looked like he was being sent to the gallows when his medication was offered but he took it without comment. "You still watching this?"<p>

"No" It had been a distraction to avoid the inevitable but Nate wanted to sleep so he'd just have to try something else.

The room became near pitch black as the television was shut off and Nate moved to the bed hearing the beginnings of thunder in the distance. "Does the rain ever stop?" He was used to rain but this was ridiculous. They weren't having rainy days they were having rainy hours, as if it was on a timer having six different showers in one day.

"It's not that bad and I doubt there'll be any tonight,... it doesn't sound like it." Eliot answered faintly as Nate slithered closer, he had never used to sleep so close and it had him believing that Nate was having his own problems while sleeping. "Have you heard from Sophie?"

"Not since she called from the airport." She had sounded like she was enjoying herself and he didn't want to interrupt that.

"You should find something for them to do.  
>Parker's going stir crazy." Not to mention he was already there.<p>

"She'll survive.  
>Friday we go back to the hospital to get them stitches removed and after that our time's pretty much open.<br>Parker's free to spend it however she wants but I'm not going to work through my free time." Nate could barely make out the shadow of Eliot who was still sitting up.

"Nathan Ford who works through holidays, who chases cases across continents isn't itching to do something right now?" He was skeptical at least as Nate's fingers drew slight waves across his leg.

"To be with you," Eliot huffed at that and Nate furthered his meaning. "and it isn't a line either. I want to make sure we're solid before I jump back into cons. We both know that I put everything I have into a job and before I committ to something else I want to make sure I'm committed to you.  
>You're a challenge Eliot and I'm working my butt off to figure you out."<p>

"That might take a while." He had yet to discover himself completely but if anyone could it would be Nate.

"I've got time."

"How much?"

"As much as it takes." He couldn't see it but he felt the intensity in Nate's stare and heard it in his words.

"And if it takes forever?" That word was a make it or break it, usually sent people running and the response he would receive could possibly answer more questions than any other words combined.

"Well," He hadn't been expecting Eliot to say something like that but it didn't throw him a curve like he would've imagined.  
>Instead he reached over to remove the ice pack from Eliot's knee placing it on the side table without much thought as he moved on to making different sized eights across his thigh with a now slightly cold finger. "I can think of worse fates than a forever together."<p>

Right then he knew Nate would figure him out.  
>He'd uncover what made Eliot Spencer tick eventually and nothing would be the same.<br>Hopefully Nate's discoveries wouldn't change the way he looked at them though, that it wouldn't set off the twin to the bomb that had exploded so long ago.  
>That the monster he fought so hard to control wouldn't rear its ugly head and destroy everything he had come to care for.<p>

He couldn't think of a suitable response so he didn't give one.  
>Instead he leaned over as best he could placing a soft kiss to Nate's temple.<br>Things stayed quiet as the motion on Eliot's leg faded and Nate eventually drifted off.

If you listened carefully the slightest sounds of typing could be heard coming through the vent but soon enough those vanished as well and the only noise that could be heard was the absence of noise itself.

Eliot continued to listen to a rhythm of steady breathes from Nate, wondering what he should do about Sarah as he fiddled with Nate's curls.  
>He didn't know if putting it off a little longer would give her more time to cool off or simmer but that was what he was going to do.<p>

She was pissed about his relationship with Nate and if he was going to go against her in defending it he wanted to make sure he and Nate were set in it.  
>But weren't they?<br>Never before had he brought someone home and unintentionally or not that was what he had done with Nate.  
>He had brought him home and the family didn't approve.<p>

That didn't matter, he had done many a thing they wouldn't approve of so one more really wouldn't change much but Sarah did matter.  
>Sarah was his very stubborn baby sister and he wouldn't be able to handle losing her, if he did he'd lose Nate too.<br>He wouldn't leave Nate but the blame would be there, Sarah would be the strain between them and he'd end up losing them both.

"You know I really could have gone without you calling her." He needed to figure a way to fix this without causing any damage and he wasn't going to call her until he did. "And if she's really as bad as you and Aaron say how much worse will it get once she finds out about the team?" It was something he wished could be avoided but with Aaron knowing he wasn't sure if that was possible.

He knew that too much was coming up though, too much of himself was being revealed.  
>This group was tearing at the structure of the walls he had built and not even he was prepared for what awaited on the other side.<p>

But he was tired.  
>Tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of losing, tired of trying to pretend like it didn't happen.<br>It did and he wasn't going to deny himself actual sleep to avoid the dreams that came with it, he was tired and tonight he'd meet her for the first time willingly in over a decade.

He sunk down, slowly adjusting next to Nate as he closed his eyes.  
>Maybe tonight she wouldn't haunt him with that horrid day, maybe she'd reward him with the memories of the happiest day he could ever remember having.<br>He ignored the tear that fell as he concentrated on remembering her smile, how excited they had been, but either way it didn't matter.  
>He was tired and she was waiting.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>EN: For everyone who asked if what you thought is what I'm thinking... well I can't answer that! (Spoilers people)  
>But I do believe you should say what you mean and mean what you say if that's any hint. (don't know if you can tell or not but I love word play!)<strong>

**Now I'm not sure about this chapter or how I managed to put an E/P moment into a Neliot story but quite honestly I'm really happy with the ending.  
>Hopefully you are too! <strong>


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

It had taken a great deal but he had managed completely on his own that morning, including shaving without a single nick.  
>As much as he appreciated Nate he wanted normalcy, well at least what their normal had been, and he'd be damned if he didn't get a semblance of that back.<p>

They were outback on the patio, Eliot with his leg propped up icing his foot, talking security.

They had made many an enemy between 'em and those weren't even counting the ones the team had as a whole, not to mention the nearly forgotten or the others who had a tendency to just appear.

Right now they were out in the open, an easy target for anyone that wanted their chance at an injured Eliot, but that was also the brilliance of it.

A classic "Eliot Spencer" move would be going under ground. Staying in a secluded safe house until he had recovered.  
>No one would suspect the house between Grandma and Grandpa and the newlyweds, not when they had rocks to overturn.<p>

"You're not eating."

It had nothing to do with their current conversation and it threw Eliot off. He didn't see where it fit but that was probably Nate's intention. "There's no food." He'd play it dumb for now.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." He had noticed it a few days ago and watching Eliot pick at his plate that morning only confirmed it. He had expected the change in muscle mass knowing how true the if you don't use it you lose it rule was but the weight loss was another thing. It wasn't anything too drastic but it was definitely noticeable.

Eliot just shrugged.  
>He knew what Nate was talking about but he didn't see why, it really wasn't a big deal.<p>

"You can't just not eat." He had a feeling that was supposed to be the end of things but he wouldn't be dismissed so easily. "It's not healthy and..."

"NATE! You're not a therapist!  
>Just because I didn't eat Hardison's powdered eggs does not mean you can start preachin' to me like a teenage girl with an eatin' disorder!<br>A few missed meals does not mean I'm not eatin'."

"You would tell me though right?" He knows Nate's guilt trippin' and it ain't gonna work. "You wouldn't keep it from me if you weren't feeling well would ya?"

"I'm not gonna start complainin' over every little ache just because." Nate was looking as expectant as a doctor who had just caught you in a lie and it had him wanting to leave.

"So you aren't doing well?" It wasn't a question though because they both knew the answer.

"Why do you ask when you know I wont answer?" Nate just kept a calm confidence as he switched the now melting ice pack from Eliot's foot to his knee.  
>"What do you want to hear?<br>Damn Nate, I've got headaches; sometimes they make me nauseous.  
>You happy now?<br>It ain't that big of a deal."

"It isn't that small of a deal either and it sure isn't complaining Eliot, I'm going to make an appointment for you."

"I hit my head, they ain't migraines and I ain't gonna be bitchin' to some doctor Nate. We're going over there Friday and that's good enough, I didn't ask for a day nurse and I don't need you trying to play one." It angered him to no end the shift in equality their relationship had taken and he wanted it fixed.

"Too bad.  
>I've got nothing else to do, ...you're it." Nate shrugged off Eliot's annoyance. He knew that he wouldn't get to have an experience like this again, not with Eliot as open as lately and he was going to take advantage.<p>

"You're an ass." There was no arguing against it, Nate had declared him the newest challenge and the man wouldn't stop until the puzzle was solved.

"So you've said." He had heard it so many times it had become a form of endearment, well at least that's how he chose to interpret it.

"You think that we'll make it back to Boston by the end of next week?" He had been coming and going as he wished for nearly twenty years, only a handful of times had he been stuck somewhere and he hadn't liked it then and he certainly didn't now.

"Maybe," It wasn't what Eliot wanted to hear but it was the most he was willing to offer right now. "we'll see how things go and find out when Sophie's coming back but it shouldn't be long.

"And when we get back?" Eliot scooted his legs over on the pull-out for Nate, who had just moved from his own chair, to sit.

"We'll figure it from there," Nate put an arm over Eliot's legs to balance his weight on the chair as he leaned forward some. "in another few weeks you should be up an-"

"I wasn't talking about work." Though he understood why Nate assumed so. They were men that essentially lived to work, they thrived from the challenge, loved the hunt.

"Oh?" There were only two situations he could think of that would need attention once they got back and since Eliot just said work wasn't it, ...well he was wary.

"What are we doing?"

"Care to elaborate?" It'd been asked as easily as what you'd want for dinner and he was having a hard time reading if that ease was practiced or sincere.

"We've been living together for nearly a month now and..."

"...and you're used to living on your own." Nate picked up as he caught glimpse of the path where things were headed. "Eliot I know you'll go back to your apartment once we get to Boston. This was special circumstances and I wasn't expecting anything to come from it, you need your space and it's understandable."

"Like I was saying," He'd ignore what Nate said, it had been completely off. "we've been living together for nearly a month now and I figured after that splitting ta two different houses would be a step backward."

"What are you saying?" What Eliot thought of that question was more than obvious but he answered anyway.

"That maybe I like having your ugly mug be the first thing I see every mornin'." That was probably the closest he'd get to telling Nate that he wanted more than to spend the night a few times a week.

"You want to move in with me?" It was a pleasant surprise seeing as he thought Eliot had wanted to distance himself.

"NO," With the way the crew treated Nate's place you'd find more privacy in Grand Central Station and that was not something he wanted part of. "but I was thinking of getting a new place and just maybe, if you wanted... it could be ours."

"I don't know Eliot." He waited until he caught the slightest bit of self doubt. "I might miss Parkers random visits." Eliot didn't look amused though so he scrapped the thought and moved on. "So you're serious about us getting a place of our own? About living with me everyday without break or reprieve?"

"Well when you put it like that," Eliot rolled his eyes as he smacked Nate's arm the slightest. "I wouldn't have asked if I hadn't already thought it through... and the change wont be that much. Before all of this we were already spending nearly twenty hours a day together. Instead of playin' house lets just do it."

"Playing house?" In no way would he have expected Eliot to describe their actions as such.  
>Eliot did tend to cook and clean when he'd come over though, not that he'd be stupid enough to say that aloud.<p>

"Well?" The only thing he'd change about Nate would be this.  
>He was a forward man, simple questions, simple answers.<br>Nate? The man questioned the questions.

"Lets do it." It was a commitment that he would willingly make after all the doubt he had in himself and their relationship over the past few weeks.

"Lets do it." He nodded his head as Nate kissed him lightly.  
>It was something he wanted as much as he needed to do.<br>Too many things were coming up and he needed to connect himself to Nate as much as possible before he was pushed too far.  
>He knew from experience that even now if given the chance he'd go, he'd leave if things became too much, it was what he had always done.<p>

"Are you alright?" Eliot had gone distant on him, his expression alone said he wasn't exactly in the here and now.

"I don't want to go this time." He was fighting himself not to, had been for months now.

Another question that he should probably ask, another that he knew he wouldn't. "I wont let you." Instead he laid out next to Eliot, Eliot moving over to make room.

"You better not." He wanted to believe it but couldn't, he was and would always be his own worst enemy.

"You're my challenge remember?" He moved his hand to Eliot's hair but stopped the subconscious action remembering how Eliot felt about it.

"Forever together." Eliot near whispered as he gazed into eyes that looked in the least excited.

"That's the plan." He ignored the voice telling him to make a backup plan and the even louder one telling him that all backup plans needed backup plans.  
>Eliot was a fighter and he was made to strategize, between them and the determination they got once they put their minds to something they'd surely manage.<p>

"There ain't a plan M is there?" Serious could just as well be his middle name but when it came to his personal life he could only do small doses before he needed to stop. It was either stop or he'd start withdrawing.

"You that fond of Hardison?" He questioned jokingly as he stared at the pool that was now reflecting sunlight.

Eliot just laughed and Nate eventually found himself tracing over the bright pink scars on his wrist. "Hitters aren't supposed to have identifying marks, not the ones that want to stay in the business." He had chased quite a few and a decent scar was considered as bad as a tattoo, it branded you and made you that much easier to find.

"It'll fade," He cared more about the cramps he got in that hand than any superficial mark. Years of abusing his joints and it was an obvious that arthritis would be in his future he just hoped that this accident didn't make it immediate. "besides who says I want to stay in the business?"

"Are you trying to say I need to start looking for a new hitter?"

"I'm not a hitter anymore." Nate's look was quizzical as he continued a mix of taps and twirls with his fingers across his forearm.  
>Nate wasn't a touchy person but Eliot had noticed since his last return that whenever they had a minute to themselves Nate's fingers would find some bare skin to dance across. "I've got a crew now and I've got no interest in goin' solo again. We're a team."<p>

"I..." it wasn't so much the words as the way they were said. Eliot claimed to be straight forward and he usually was but when it came to his emotions you had to learn to read between the lines.

"Me too." He got what Nate was trying to say but when it came to those words and all joking and jabbing was put to the side they struggled. He'd use actions instead because it was his way of saying what he couldn't express but it let Nate know that he was doing his best.

There was no battle in this kiss, no reason to try to fight or overpower.  
>No need to control or submit, they knew their spots, had accepted them and were clear in them.<br>This kiss was like that first declaration of love when they split back in November, bittersweet.  
>It soon trailed off into a multitude of slower lazier ones as Nate tried to travel toward his neck but Eliot wasn't having it as he pulled that mouth back to his.<br>Nate was looking for payback, had promised it and there was no way he would let himself be marked willingly.

"Ya'll NA-ST-Y!" Hardison quickly moved his hand to cover Parker's all too curious eyes. He had not been expecting this when they walked out the backdoor.

Eliot just ignored Hardison's dramatics and to Alec's surprise Nate flicked him off, gave him the bird and kept on like he wasn't even there.

"Seriously? YOU. ARE. IN. THE. YARD."

"GO AWAY" Nate stressed as he pulled away from Eliot. He thought giving Hardison the finger spoke loud and clear how he felt about his opinions and presence and the moment but he obviously hadn't received the message.

"I live here too," Hardison huffed as he sat on one of the patio chairs, Parker having lost interest had moved to dangle her feet in the pool. "and ya'll should have gotten a room."

"We had one!" Eliot waved his hand over what had just been a private area.

"This ain't no room." Any roommate knew that common rooms were off limits for personal use and that included the outdoors, it was like an honor code.

"It's my damn house!" Nate's "check" and Hardison's grumbling only added to the victory.

"You know what?" Hardison stood. "I ain't liking this." He motioned his finger between the two of them. "The whole tag teamin' thing and being all hostile, it don't work for ya.  
>It's all them built up emotions making you angry cause you don't know how to ex-"<p>

"Go away" Eliot interrupted, no way was he giving Hardison the chance to play shrink.

"Anger will get you nowhere."

"I beg to differ." His gaze was hard and cold and thankfully sent Hardison to sit next to Parker.  
>He knew Hardison was good with their relationship, he only grumbled about it to get under his skin, the same way he did when he joked about his hair.<p>

"Where were we?" Nate leaned back in but he just shook his head, he wasn't comfortable with the situation anymore.

"Eliot ignore them." He knew Eliot liked his privacy but times like this had him wondering if it wasn't something more.  
>Eliot had said he didn't give a shit what others thought but Nate suspected he was still worried about his image, not about being perceived as gay but about queuing others into a weakness.<br>In their world you kept what was dear to you quiet unless you wanted someone to use it against you.  
>But there was no danger here and he wouldn't be embarrassed for wanting to spend time with his boyfriend during what was supposed to be their vacation.<p>

"Nate stop." Nate's hand had slipped under his shirt and he wasn't finding his current actions appropriate, not for being outside and not for the audience they could possibly have.

"Why?" He heard the words but Eliot wasn't physically pushing him away so he continued on. The tiny little section between the pulse point and the adamsapple was a hotspot for Eliot and Nate took full advantage of that knowledge.

"I don't know." He smirked as he felt the hum of those words against his lips. "Come 'ere" Nate was looking far too content with having gotten his way and he was going to do something about it, especially when he was being a tease on top of it.

They had just gotten back to where they had been.  
>He was near positive Eliot was darkening the bruise that had just started to lighten on his neck and his hands were treating Eliot's torso like his own personal playground.<br>He was just about to ask if Eliot would indeed like to get a room when Hardison opened his big good for nothin' mouth. "I don't know what ya'll are doing but I just thought I'd remind you of the little ol' lady that likes to stand on her porch. The same porch that overlooks YOUR yard, the same one she'll probably have a heart attack on!"

Eliot pulled away immediately and Nate groaned as he glared at the back of his Hackers head.  
>Eliot stood carefully, pushing away hands that were trying to help as he began the journey toward the house.<p>

The man was nearly forty feet away, hadn't even been paying any attention in their direction and still he had easily become their kill joy.

He had been enjoying his day.  
>He'd come out here with Eliot early that morning to get rid of the video game noises that had been traveling down the vent.<br>Hadn't said a word to Parker's constant pounding of a tennis ball against the wall yet Hardison had the nerve to interrupt them not once but twice.

He stretched out on the pull-out as he glanced at the door.  
>He'd go check on Eliot in a minute but right now he was going to weigh his options and what the consequences would be if he decided to drown Hardison.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Now that was fun!  
>A raise of hands for who else wants to kill Hardison, LOL<br>We've got some fun stuff coming up in the next few chapters, including some more sexy times (uninterrupted sexy times may I add) but after that things will start getting steep. Thanks for reading!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

"Have you been stretching the shoulder?" Dr. Torlyn asked as he rotated Eliot's arm to check for range of movement.

"He does every morning." Nate answered for Eliot as he scrutinized his boyfriends expression. It had been so quick he wasn't sure but he thought he detected a hint of a wince.

"That's good. Depending on how this visit goes there's a good chance we'll be seeing PT in your future." Eliot grunted as fingers pressed harshly against the bruising on his bare torso.

"That's still tender?" The doctor sounded overly suspicious in Nate's opinion.

"Not too bad." Nate's accusing eyes had him rolling his as he furthered his explanation. "My ribs haven't been too much of a bother but the bruising on my side still makes itself nice and known."

"And his back." Nate ignored Eliot's glare as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"What about it?" Dr. Torlyn was already pressing curious fingers down his spine.

"If I lie on it wrong or put too much weight in a certain spot I'll end up with a piercing pain."

"Where?" Eliot willingly went as he was pushed forward and the man continued to poke and prod.

"There" It was nearly growled as the spot he had just been talking about received too much pressure and he bit his inner lip waiting for the pain to fade.

"That's right over the rib you cracked. We'll have to get a few pictures to see what's going on back here." Dr. Torlyn moved to stand in front of Eliot as he grabbed his hand to begin inspecting it. "What happened here?"

"Accident" Eliot quickly dismissed the fresh scab on his palm.

"Any swelling or cramping in the fingers?"

"None that I've noticed." He only fibbed a little as he watched the doctor search through his file for something before he started removing the splint from his ring finger.

"You tell me if any of this hurts." He then proceeded to apply pressure to different points of the finger eventually bending and even twisting it slightly. "Anything?" Eliot shook his head as he bent and stretched a digit that had stood still way too long. "It'll probably be stiff for the next few days but stretching it'll help. Just keep in mind that the bone's still fairly new and susceptible to damage quite easily."

"One down, two ta' go." Nate smirked. It was progress and he was happy.

"You change into this..." Dr. Torlyn placed a newly retrieved gown next to Eliot. "and I'll be back in a few minutes to continue."

"You want help with that?" Nate offered as he watched Eliot untie his boot.  
>The look he got was an obvious 'whatdya think' so he moved from the wall to help. The shoe to the side and he moved so Eliot could stand. "I don't see why you had to put jeans on." He had had the "fun" of helping put them on and it hadn't been a picnic.<p>

"No man has an excuse good enough to justify coming out the house in pants that have an elastic band, it ain't right." Nate just shook his head with a slight smirk as he pulled the denim over Eliot's foot. If you asked him a little too much time with Hardison and Eliot was starting to sound like him but he'd keep the comment to himself.

"Of course it can't be simple." Eliot huffed at the gown he had been given.

"Snaps" Nate quickly saw why Eliot was looking frustrated so he did him the favor of taking up the task.

The gown wasn't a simple tie back but instead held a little over a dozen snaps in three different places. "How do they expect... How does this..."

"I thought you were a mastermind." Eliot watched as Nate became more flustered with every failed attempt with the gown.

"You just shush over there," Eliot was looking way too amused as he pulled the misdone snaps apart for what had to be the fourth or fifth time. "I'll get it."

It took a few more tries, some colorful language, and Eliot telling him to forget the damn thing before his determination payed off and he had it fixed. Not long after he tied the single tie on the side the doctor was back.

"Where were we?" The question was rhetorical as Eliot watched his doctor flip through his file tapping a pen against the chart. "Bruised kidneys. How's that going Spencer?"

"It's goin'." The same way he wished Nate would but no, he insisted on being there as if he was a child.

"Really?  
>No pain or discomfort?<br>No trouble urinating?  
>A burn while or blood in the urine?" Sure the doctor was only looking for signs of kidney damage but that didn't mean it wasn't an embarrassing question.<p>

"There hasn't been any blood." Nate was looking far too interested for his liking and it took some willpower not to just yell at him to leave. "It can still be uncomfortable but it ain't bad."

"Define uncomfortable."

How you're gonna be was his immediate thought but instead he answered, "It ain't painful if that's what you're asking." Dr. Torlyn just nodded as he marked something down and Nate stared at him accusingly.

He wasn't a doctor but he knew enough to be nearly positive that his kidneys were fine and that it wasn't any of their business what he did or how he felt in the bathroom.

"Can you put your leg up?" Eliot did as he was told stretching his leg out on the exam table. He was the kind of guy that did that one a year visit unless he needed to get some sort of injections and this was starting to push his limits.

"Now these weren't ready to come out last time." Gloves were put on as his gown was pushed up to reveal a decently sized row of stitching. "Have you been icing this?"

"Yeah, my knee and foot too." It was a concern that was shared as the attention was removed from his stitches and directed to the bruising that had spread since his last visit. The bruising on his thigh was lightening and obviously healing but what was on his knee had spread and only looked to be getting darker.

"That's still looking pretty swollen ...there should have been more improvement by now.  
>Are you putting excessive weight on the joint?<br>Stressing it more than necessary?"

"YES" Nate near blurted.

Dr. Torlyn shook his head in obvious disapproval. "Do you have an ice machine?"

"No" Eliot was not liking being reprimanded by a guy that only had a few years on him.

"Well then you'll get one." That order was directed to Nate. "I want you to ice this knee every hour on the hour and for the next three days at least you're not to use it. You act as if this leg doesn't even exist and we"ll see if we don't make some progress."

"And if it doesn't?" Nate wondered as he moved closer.

"Does this guy always go straight to the bad?" He ignored Nate as he moved back to Eliot's thigh.

"He plans for it." The doctor laughed and Eliot snorted at Nate's indignant look.

"I think we can pull these.  
>It closed up nicer than I was expecting, but that doesn't mean you're free to go crazy.<br>I'm sure the muscle's still healing and you don't want to tear it.  
>We'll get an x-ray of the femur too, make sure all's well there."<p>

"What about his foot?"

"Well give him a chance to get there." Eliot knew that Nate didn't like this doctor but he didn't know why. Sure his bedside manner could stand an improvement but he hadn't noticed anything too bad with the man.

"Last time you said you had limited feeling if any in the last three toes."

"Yeah, like they were sleeping or numb to an extent."

"How about now?" Dr. Torlyn asked as he pulled a pen from his pocket and started poking at the mentioned toes. "You feel that?" He asked as he watched for a response.

"From the first one it was strong, right away I wanted to move my foot.  
>The second one wasn't as strong but I could still feel it, as if it was through fabric like I was wearing a sock."<p>

"And this one?"

Another poke was made to his foot and for a second he absently wondered if the pen was on and if there'd be ink on the tips of his toes. "It's delayed. I'm watching you prick at it but it's not until seconds later that I'm actually feeling it. It's weak though, the touch is distant."

"Well we did expect some damage."

"What do you plan to do about it?" Nate wasn't happy with Mr. M.D.'s simple acceptance.

"There's nothing I can do. He's regained some feeling which is a great sign and it's possible that even more will return but I can't really say one way or the other."

"Nate," Eliot found himself subtly warning, the anger was barely there but still he recognized it. "it ain't that bad. As long as I'm still standing on two feet I'm good and what's really the worst case scenario? I wont feel it when I'm stupid and kick something."

"Hey now, none of that.  
>I'm serious about you staying off this leg for a few days and my services can't be matched.<br>You wont find anyone that'll patch up this foot as good as me."

"Trust you me once was enough."

"Good. Now any questions?" Dr. Torlyn turned to Nate, he was sure he'd have something to say.

"About how much longer do you think I'll be one handed?" He hadn't seen the x-ray of his hand so he didn't know how bad the breaks had been, the ring fingers' had obviously been minor.

"The middle finger was a clean crack, nothing too serious, I'd say another 8-10 days.  
>Your index finger was two separate breaks so that'll be longer.<br>I'd estimate another three weeks before it's healed fully so it'd be the beginning of June."

"And my foot?"

"Well that depends on you.  
>I'd say mid june but it could be July or even longer if you don't care for it properly.<br>Ignorance or abuse could see you to September with a bone that refuses to heal." Once again he was glancing over the file to make sure he hadn't overlooked anything.

"I get the picture, I'll stay off the foot." Eliot would hand it to him, subtle might not be his game but he knew how to get the point across.

"Anything else?  
>Any unmanageable pain or difficulty breathing?<br>Chest pains?  
>Abdominal cramps?<br>Fevers?  
>Anything new or unexplainable?<br>Complaints?"

Eliot just shook his head no but Nate didn't plan on letting him slide out of the fishing net so easily. "He's been having headaches that make him nauseous."

"Headaches?" And before Eliot knew it he had a light shining in his eyes. "Have you been having any trouble seeing? Blury spots or dizzy spells?"

"No"

"Sensitivity toward light or sound?  
>Have you lost any memories or had any trouble remembering?<br>Any black outs or time loss?"

The questions were spoke casually but Eliot could sense the worry behind them and the worry coming from Nate as he sensed the same. "No, nothing like that. Not that I've noticed."

"I think we'll do a scan."

"Why?" Nate was on him immediately, alert as ever.

"I figured I'd pull a page from you and go looking for things that probably aren't there." Dr. Torlyn pulled off his gloves and tossed them out as he moved to the door. "I'm going to go get all that fun stuff in order, I'll send someone to get those sutures removed."

"Are you okay?" Nate asked as soon as the door was closed.

"Are you?" Eliot sent back.

Nate nodded absently.

"Don't over think it Nate." The way he saw things a doctor was being cautious but knowing Nate he was probably envisioning some horrid disease that only gave him two months to live.

"I'm not." There was no room for him to sit on the exam table so he stood next to Eliot instead.

"Don't" He could see the gears turning, somewhere along the line Nate started believing that if he cared for it it had to go and he probably believed this was how it would happen this time. "Babe, just don't."

The small smile and chaste kiss he got was worth leaving his comfort zone.  
>Never did he ever call Nate anything other than his name, sometimes he'd get a rare babe or baby from the other man but that was seldom and it was never returned.<br>It was Nate and that was it.  
>Where he was from those weren't terms of endearment, they were nicknames used on nearly everyone.<br>Sweetie, sugar, cutie, doll, pumpkin, hun, baby, darlin', boo, they were all a dime a dozen and there was three dozen more but Nate, for him there was only one Nate.

"I wont"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

It was nearly three hours later and he was sitting in the car waiting for Nate to rent an ice machine.

He owned one but it was about eight hours away and despite what people thought his houses were a hobby not mini hospitals.

There wasn't one in every state and they weren't all stocked like an operating room, he only had two like that and he'd never visited them.  
>In his line of work if an injury was that serious it probably wouldn't be getting attention.<br>You'd be dead before the thought ever crossed your mind.

"These things are expensive." Nate placed the machine in the backseat from the front, closing his door as he buckled his seatbelt.

"Well what did ya expect?" The humidity was hell on his hair and he once again pushed it back. His curls were unruly and as soon as he found something to do so he was going to pull it back.

"Not for the..." Nate was cut short by the ringing coming from the cup holder in the middle counsel.

"Who is it?" Eliot asked as Nate placed the phone back down and merged into the right hand lane.

"I don't recognize the number, if it's anything important they'll call back." Nate shrugged it off but Eliot lifted the phone to inspect for himself.

"That's Aa... You gave Aaron your number?" He'd recognize it anywhere, he'd dialed the same one for the past four years. "How long have you been talking to him?"

"He found out your phone was disconnected and he wanted a way to be able to make contact." Nate explained as he glanced over to Eliot who was looking accusing.

"So you just gave him your number? Just like that?" He wanted his brother distanced from the life he led and there Nate was making connections.

"He asked me for it in the courthouse.  
>What was I supposed to say?...No?<br>Me blowing off your brother wont help our situation." What was Eliot expecting?

"It isn't our situation!"

"How isn't it when I'm stuck in the middle!" Nate was disbelieving in Eliot's words as his grip tightened on the steering wheel.

"You put yourse-...no," Eliot stopped himself from finishing that thought as he blew out a breath and ran his hand across his face. "No... just," He shook his head as he turned his gaze out the window. "We ain't having this conversation."

"Eliot"

"No Nate"

"Eliot" Nate heard more than saw Eliot toss his head back as he decided against pulling over. "Call him."

"I already know what he wants." He sighed as he looked back over to Nate. He knew Nate thought it was his responsibility to make everything between him and his siblings good again but it would be better to let things lie.

"Aaron's on your side right now but if you keep pushing him away you'll lose his understanding."

"He doesn't understand Nate.  
>He's just accepting what you told him as fact cause he thinks I'll abandon them if he don't.<br>He wants me to make contact with Sarah so he isn't left to choose between us, but it wont matter.  
>I could say all the right things, I know what Sarah wants to hear.<br>If I apologize to her, if I promise to let her in like she wants she'll be good but that wont matter either.  
>They're gonna get curious and that's gonna bring questions, questions that I wont answer.<br>I refuse to open that door, not to them and if I don't we'll just end up right back where we are so I need time to think, to figure this out." The turn they had just taken put them 12 blocks away from the house though Eliot recognized it as the long way around.

"Well you think hard then.  
>You have a family that deserves you, two kids that deserve to have an Uncle around and you deserve that too.<br>You figure out the best solution for you but don't you dare go pulling away from them, not when you've still got a chance." Nate turned into the driveway putting the car into park soon after.

"I..." He rubbed at his eye as he let Nate's words sink in. "I hear you."

"Good, now le-" For the second time he was interrupted by his phone and a glance at Eliot who was staring at the screen told him who was calling.

Eliot looked to him obviously waiting for his suggestion but he just patted his leg to let him know the decision was completely his.

"Hello... No, no it's me..." A glance toward the house had him thinking that was where he should be as Eliot continued, "Yeah, no. I was just comin' out from seein' the doc, I must've missed ya'." Nodding his head in approval Nate opened his door and climbed out closing it to the beginnings of a light hearted laugh.

Eliot had asked for time and he'd give him privacy to match for what would hopefully turn into a productive conversation.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: These things keep on getting longer (and more complicated)**

**This one picked up the serious hue that the last few had rid themselves of but I think it ended well.**  
><strong>It even looks like Eliot's working on his anger, he stopped himself from starting an argument and he even dared to listen instead of yell.<strong>

**Yay for no fighting!**

**Like I said this one was a little more serious but we'll actually have a little more nice to come before I drop the other shoe.**

**And now to drop the other shoe, (kidding)... but school is starting back up in a few days and I'm not sure how hectic my schedule will be so it's quite possible you'll be seeing less of me.**

**Personally I would rather write Neliot than try to earn a degree but apparently you need one of those to get anywhere in the world now a days so unfortunately updates might be slower.**

**Hopefully not but I thought I'd give you the heads up just in case.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Since their visit to the doctor yesterday Nate had been following the orders he had been given to the T.  
>He had been steered to the bedroom and wasn't allowed to leave it and thanks to Nate he had his very own 'Parker Patrol'.<br>She was giddy in her new job and if he even attempted moving or readjusting without announcing it first she had the bells and whistles blaring and the Calvary coming.

The only good thing to come from yesterday in his opinion was the removal of his stitches.  
>They had itched near unbearably and it only seemed to be getting worse as the days came.<p>

Now though the four of them were sitting on the bed with breakfast, mixed fruit since no ones skills had really shined at making the morning meal, talking.  
>Parker was next to Eliot, Nate across from her, and Hardison next to him.<p>

"What is there to do around here on a weekend?" Hardison figured he'd ask someone who knew. He had gone looking a few times but nothing really caught so instead he had bought a game console but surprisingly enough he was bored of it.

"There's always some kind of game going on in the park on Reed. You can watch and it's usually just the local guys so you could probably join if you wanted but right now I bet it's soccer." Hardison was looking at him like he had just dyed his hair blue and it took him a minute to figure out why. "Right, you don't do nature. Well..." Hardison looked like he wanted to say something but to his credit he held his tongue. "The swap meet's open." Eliot shrugged, Hardison wrinkled his nose, but Parker looked genuinely interested even saying that she might go check it out.

"I read in the paper that there's a carnival or something like that coming through next weekend, you two should go check it out." Nate suggested even though he felt like making it an order.  
>Without something to do they really seemed clueless.<br>Parker had found herself a place to disappear to for a few hours a day and the strange way she acted before she left had brought him to two conclusions.  
>She had either gotten herself a secret pet or else she was building a bomb.<br>He was really hoping for a cotton tail or a stray calico.

Hardison on the other hand stayed in the house.  
>He was up all night slept most of the day and barely came out of his room.<p>

Nate was keeping himself busier than either of them and he was about ready to get the dictionary out to see if they could actually define vacation.

"It'll be there for a few weeks. It's a family thing around here, you pack up the kids and make a day of it or you get your girl and you're set for the night."

"Girls around here actually go for that?" Hardison wasn't buying it.

"Why not?' Parker asked as she set her plate on the nightstand.  
>She had never had a relationship with that kind of simplicity and she still wondered what it would be like to just want to spend time with a person just for the sake of being with them.<p>

"It sounds very highschool, go get your girl, I suppose afterward you take her to the barn too." Hardison spoke with sarcasm.

"What do you have against a roll in the hay?" Hardison was left sputtering and Nate pinched the bridge of his nose trying to decide if he'd be better off sighing or laughing.

"Now that's stereotypical. Any decent guy ain't taken his girl to a barn and hay's itchy Parker." Decision made Nate started laughing. Eliot was looking way too serious for the occasion.

"And how would you know?" No way was Hardison answering her question so he asked one of his own instead.

"Never said I was decent." Eliot lifted his eyebrow with a smirk.

"You nasty." Parker was looking quizzical and Nate had a look that was daring Hardison to go there.

"You're just jealous." Eliot threw back.

"Of? I think all them guys and girls have gone to your head." Parker fell over near cackling with laughter and one look at Eliot had him realizing what had been said. "That's just... you got your mind in the gutter girl. Ya'll are just wrong with that one."

"I didn't say a word." Nate raised a hand to that,he was not partaking in this conversation.

"No one did." Eliot agreed. "So where's your mind that you think hers is in the gutter? Maybe it's not that you're jealous maybe you're just intere-"

"OH GOD NO!" Hardison grabbed at his throat making dramatic gagging noises.  
>"Don't flatter yourself. If I swung that way I could do a hell of a lot better." A fierce look from Nate had him adding to that statement.<br>"Not that he's not a good catch." If possible Nate's glare grew more intense.  
>"Not that I'm looking to..." He stopped as he realized there was no good way to get out of that. "Anywho, what are you two doing Tuesday?" He thought it was a safe topic change but obviously not with Nate's reaction.<p>

Tuesday?  
>Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday?<br>Nate was looking at him expectantly and he had a feeling he was supposed to know this answer.  
>"Well seeing as I've been layed up here I haven't exactly had the chance to do anything but I'm sure Nate's got an idea or two." The answer was vague enough to let him off the hook for now but that only gave him two days to figure things out.<p>

He was already searching his head for what it could be but now actually thinking about it his dates were blurred.  
>It would have to be something important because Nate was really looking like he cared and Hardison had directed the question toward them so that probably meant it was personal as well.<p>

Nate's Birthday?  
>That would be his first guess but he was nearly positive that was in late summer.<p>

An anniversary would be his next guess but that couldn't be right.  
>They had yet to celebrate one of those and the thought just didn't seem to fit.<br>Besides how would Hardison know when that would be?  
>Nate wouldn't have said anything, not to him.<p>

Tuesday May, 15th?  
>He knew this, he knew he did but it seemed to be just out of reach.<br>Maybe he did have some memory loss.

"I might." Nate spoke casually.  
>He hadn't brought up their anniversary because he wanted to see if Eliot would.<br>It was nothing more than the 731st day they had been seeing each other and he didn't really care about celebrating it but he wanted to know how Eliot felt.  
>If he cared about the milestone or if they'd just mark it as a checkpoint and quickly move on.<p>

"What's Tuesday? What are we doing then?" Parker knew she was missing something.

"We'll be out of here, the house will be yours for the day." Hardison told Nate. "We should probably go now too Parker." Hardison suggested as he lifted his and Nate's dishes and soon left the room. She followed behind with her own set as she continued to question him.

"So how do you want to spend Tuesday?" Nate got up to close their door before stretching out on the bed.

"In all honesty," Eliot sighed as he figured it best to be straight. "and don't go gettin' pissed at me either Nate, I don't know what Tuesday is."

"Are you serious?" He sat back up in disbelief.  
>He would have expected Eliot to say it was another day and there was no need to treat it differently or even that he didn't think it counted but not that he forgot.<br>He memorized things down to the littlest detail yet he was saying he didn't remember this. "You forgot?"

"I didn't forget I just don't remember." Nate wasn't looking angry, he was looking disappointed. Maybe it was his Birthday.

"It's the same thing!"

"No it's not.  
>It's there, I know it is I just can't find it.<br>I'm lookin' but..." He sighed, more than frustrated with himself.

"Eliot when's my birthday?"

"Juuulaugust?" Nate wasn't looking amused by his month mashup but all that was coming to mind was the heat that was always present on that day.

"When's your birthday?" The annoyance had changed to suspicion.

"November 14 no 15th, 19-"

"You don't know the year?" He was worried now.

"Give me a minute." And borrow from the one.

"You shouldn't need one!"

"It's seventy.. six."

"You did the math!" He had watched Eliot think it through.

"I know my birthdate." Though it was putting him off that the information had been so distant.

"Barely." Nate was off the bed and to the dresser for his phone. "I'm calling your doctor."

"Yeah" Eliot didn't bother arguing, it looked like a few of the answers he had given were false negatives.

Twenty minutes and a scheduled appointment later and Nate was lying back on the bed with his thoughts.  
>Eliot wouldn't be ready to work again until July and with this new discovery it could possibly be longer.<br>That wasn't a problem, he'd just have to decide whether to start working without him or to temporarily disband the team.

"August 12th"

"Excuse me?" Nate lifted his head to look at a pleased Eliot.

"Your Birthday. It's August 12th." It had taken him way too long to figure that out but he knew it was there and was glad to see he was correct.

"It is." Nate affirmed as he sat up. "How long did it take you to figure that out?" Eliot didn't even bother with an answer, his look said it all. "Have you thought of anything else you've forgotten?"

"How am I supposed to remember that I forgot something?" It had taken close to a half hour to get one answer now he was expected to look for more without the questions.

"Right, stupid thing to ask."

"So are you going to tell me what Tuesday is?" He watched Nate move closer until he could lean in.

It was a minute of hot breath against his ear before he received the slightest of whispers as if it was a great secret. "Nope."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Yay me! Squeezed in another before school! And you're Welcome!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: This chapter is brought to you by my unexpected leave of school for the next week or so.  
>It was going to go a whole other direction but I went and pulled an Eliot yesterday, (got in a car accident, and really how ironic is that) that inspired me to do something happy!<strong>

**I scrambled my noggin a good one but am thankfully (mostly) okay and wanted to test my bruised brain out so to say.**  
><strong>So here's to me asking you to tell me if I'm making sense (and something else to focus on instead of my ouchies :(<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

**Tuesday Morning**

He didn't see why but Hardison had insisted he and Parker leave the night before which left the house completely silent except for the little noises he was making in the kitchen.

If Nate knew what he was doing he'd probably be pitching a fit but he was thankfully still asleep so his work went uninterrupted.  
>It was slow going and he had sat through all the prep that was possible but now he was standing, well more like leaning most of his weight on the counter, next to the stove as he tested just how well he moved his left hand with a spatula.<p>

Hardison had spilled the secret last night by wishing them a happy anniversary and informing them they'd be back on Wednesday.  
>He had felt stupid.<br>His mind had provided him with that answer over a dozen times yet he refused to believe it.  
>Why was a question he had spent several hours trying to figure out but the thoughts that came weren't pleasant so he decided it best to leave it be.<p>

Now though he was attempting breakfast, it had been quite a while since he had made anything and the pace was beyond slow but the little ritual brought back a familiar calm, one that brought an absent-minded song with it.

"If I send you roses for no reason at all  
>If out of the blue, I stop and give you a call."<p>

He had woken to find the room empty, had found the bathroom the same and it had sent Nate on a search.

"Once in a while it's breakfast in bed  
>And then pull the covers back up over our heads."<p>

Their room was nearly on top of the kitchen so it didn't take him long to find Eliot and he had fully intended on saying something until he actually got a good look at him.

"If I call in sick just to stay home with you  
>I want you to know why I do what I do<br>It's my way of sayin' what I can't express  
>But I want you to know that I'm doin' my best."<p>

Eliot was standing there in some simple sweats, his hair pulled back with a small jaw clip, and if not for the obvious it would almost be like any other time he had woken to find this sight.

He was looking content and was obviously following music only he could hear.  
>That was okay with Nate though, he liked the soft tone that was flowing into his ears, it was one he didn't get to hear enough and part of the reason he stayed quiet.<br>Eliot could sing, that was for sure but it didn't mean he would, apart from this time he had only heard him two others.

"... If you should wake up and catch me watchin' you sleep  
>And I break the silence by kissing your cheek<br>If I whisper something you don't understand  
>Don't make me repeat it, I don't know if I can<p>

Oh I'm just a man that's the way I was made  
>I'm not too good at sayin' what you need me to say<br>It's always right there on the tip of my tongue  
>It might go unsaid but it wont go undone<p>

So when those three little words come so easy to you  
>I hope you know what I mean when I say, me too."<p>

He couldn't help but smile at that chorus, it described Eliot perfectly.  
>Never had he said those three words in direct context to him.<br>He had affirmed it once said, questioned it, Nate believed it, but never had Eliot given him a straight and simple I Love You.  
>Nate had been first to say it and now thinking about it had been the one to give some form every time after.<br>Eliot?  
>He had two phrases to answer that.<br>You know I do or me too, well he was about to steal Eliot's line. "Me too"

Eliot smiled as he felt a chin drop to his shoulder and arms pull him closer. "You're supposed to be sleepin'."

"You're supposed to be on bed rest." Nate reminded as he looked over into the pan Eliot had going. "How long have you been up?"

"Since three." He had gone to bed a bit before two but an off putting feeling had him up a little over an hour later.

Nate was clearly disappointed with that but he didn't comment on it. "What are we doing here?" He instead asked as Eliot dumped a cup of cheese in the skillet.

"Hash. Someone really needs to restock the kitchen." With all the odds and ends he had found hash really had been his only option.

"What can I do?" Nate moved back so that Eliot could move freely.

"It's done." Eliot accentuated that statement by turning off the flame.

That had Nate pulling down plates and eventually dishing out food as Eliot stood with his back to the counter. "Do you want to sit in here or..."

"I'm gonna go sit on the couch." He had been told plenty of times he had a stubborn streak a country mile long and mostly he'd agree but right now he was feeling it.

"You want help?" He wouldn't put an I told you so out there, it wouldn't do a bit of good and it wouldn't change the fact that Eliot was favoring his right leg.

"No" It's in no way harsh just dismissive as Eliot moves from the kitchen and Nate lifts their plates following behind at Eliot's set pace.

It isn't until Eliot's stretched out comfortably and he's gotten himself a cup of coffee that he settles on the other end of the couch with his plate. "Where'd you learn how to cook?" It was something he had always wondered about but had never bothered asking.

"Here and there." Eliot shrugged as he glanced at his plate, he'd wanted to make the food but he wasn't really sure if he wanted to eat it.

"Well now that that's cleared up." Of course he was going to be sarcastic, what kind of answer was that?

"I taught myself the basics.  
>Learned a little more from my grandparents.<br>Baking, grilling, Sunday roast, that kind of stuff." He had been teased plenty growing up.  
>Either he was the weird kid who hung out with the crazy old lady and her flowers or he was the gay kid that baked with his Grandma.<br>He didn't care, his grandmother made one hell of a brownie and if all he had to do was help her in the kitchen to get one why not.

"And the more advanced?" Nate asked as he swallowed.  
>With Eliot that could be just about anything.<br>He had done grilled cheese once, Nate expected american cheese melted in between white, Eliot gave him a seven cheese blend on bread he actually baked with a side of chowder.

"It's a good form of discipline and being in different countries makes it easy to pick up a variety of techniques." Nate actually looked interested which was still strange to him.  
>If he wanted attention from someone he usually had to demand it, it had been that way since he could remember with nearly everyone.<p>

"So you figured it out by watching others or did you actually get little lessons?"

"A good friend of mine taught me most all of it, he helped me to keep my mind together when everything else had fallen apart, but before that... before him someone else had been trying..." Nate watched Eliot set his plate to the side as he thought of the best way to phrase what he was trying to say. "They attempted to... Well I..." Eliot sighed as he wiped his hand over his face, now wasn't the time for that. "I had a teacher for a few months, I learned pretty quickly." She had tried teaching him repeatedly but despite her efforts he hadn't learned, well at least not about cooking. "Boy did I learn."

"Your foods getting cold." Nate had heard what he was positive to be regret in those last few words and though he was curious he believed a topic change to be in order. He didn't want Eliot simmering in bad memories and prying would most likely end in a fight which was really not something he wanted to happen today.

Eliot took the hint, Nate waiting for him to start eating before he did the same. "Do you dance?" So it was pretty random but Eliot figured why not.

"Do I dance?" Nate waited until Eliot let him know that he had heard right before answering. "I can, formally if need be. Why?"

"I didn't know that." Eliot didn't mind the weird look he was receiving. "There's a lot of the simpler things I don't know about you Nate. After two years of dating someone you should probably know their favorite color."

"So ask." Nate set his own now empty plate down, he could easily claim the same. He was always looking for a way in with Eliot but it seemed that he had forgotten that the littlest details could sometimes be the most important.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Purple" Nate barely finished before Eliot was laughing. "What's wrong with purple?'

"Nothing" Eliot cleared his throat, he really hadn't meant to laugh. "It's a good a color, I was just expecting you to say blue or maybe green."

"Next" Eliot had some issues, there was nothing wrong with purple.

"I know you'll eat just about anything but what's your favorite food?" Seeing as he cooked for him he should probably know that one but he didn't.

"I don't have one, you know I like sweets but nothing in particular." He honestly didn't care if Eliot didn't know his favorite something or other but if he wanted to learn it than he guessed it didn't matter that way either. "And you?"

"Probably ice cream." Maybe he wouldn't admit it but he had a weakness, it was named sugar.

"How can you say ice cream?" Nate moved up on the couch to sit next to Eliot.

"What do you mean?" Eliot set the plate he no longer had interest in back down as he focused on Nate who had spoken in disbelief.

"Never have I ever seen you eat any type or form of ice cream, ever!"

"I don't eat it."

"So it's your favorite thing to eat but you don't eat it?" Nate confirmed. "Why?"

"It's a trick used in training.  
>You take something innocent enough but common enough that you'll still have contact with it and you cut it out of your life completely.<br>It tests your discipline and restraint.  
>If you resist something that you know will cause absolutely no damage even if you do cave it shows that you're taking your training seriously."<p>

"So you chose to give up ice cream and that showed them that you were taking your training seriously?" Personally Nate thought the theory ridiculous but it seemed to have worked on Eliot.

"If you got to choose what you wanted to give up do you think any guy would actually pick something they liked?" He was personally thankful that his item of choice hadn't been worse. "I don't know why but I was assigned ice cream.  
>That's probably why it's my favorite, you know you crave what you can't have." Eliot shrugged as he pushed some stray hair back. "As for the exercise, if you passed it you showed them that you would seriously take just about any idiotic orders given to you."<p>

"You know what I think?" He was still trying to figure out how that kind of exercise could be considered productive in any way.

"What?" Eliot was starting to think he should have kept his mouth shut on that one.

"I think I need to go buy you a pint of ice cream." Nate didn't like it, Eliot shouldn't have been conditioned like an animal.

"I don't think it would work, it's not even the food anymore it's the mind set." He had left all of that long ago but maybe it was true it never left you, some things were just drilled too deep.

"Maybe a gallon then." Nate smirked jokingly.  
>It would be easy to just tell Eliot how that training had been wrong but he didn't even know what the training had been for.<br>It surely wasn't basic but it wasn't his business to judge, besides he had picked up habits that he still hadn't kicked from working insurance and who was he to say that Eliot's were any worse than his.

"A gallon just might do it." Eliot agreed lightheartedly. The idea of breaking the connections that held him back to those days was a nice one but as of right now it wasn't very realistic.

"Is the 20 questions one sided or am I allowed to send a few back?" Nate wondered as he took a swig from his coffee mug.

"You had asked the first one." Eliot reminded. Technically you could say he had asked the last question too, he had received an answer.

"True but that question was pursued in the context of a conversation. I wasn't looking for what has yet to be discovered." He wasn't trying to look eager but this could possibly be a chance to get answers from Eliot without having to snoop or pick his brain.

"What do you want to know?" Eliot cut past all of Nate's reasoning, main point being he wanted an answer to something.

"How many serious relationships have you had?" It wasn't the one he wanted to ask but he had yet to figure how he wanted that one phrased.

"Define serious." Why Nate wanted to know this now he hadn't a clue but he was wondering if the answer would be just for informations sake or could possibly be used against him later.

"One that you actually believed at some point had the chance of going somewhere." He knew Eliot had gotten around but had there really been so many "relationships" that he needed the seriousness of one defined.

"Am I counting us?" Nate had used had which was past tense so it was an honest question since they weren't.

"Do you see us going somewhere?" Nate asked genuinely, Eliot just rolled his eyes.

"Three"

"Three?" Nate was pretty stunned and he couldn't even decide if it was because he thought that number would be so much bigger or so much smaller.

"I'm not one for relationships.  
>The ones I have had were usually set up solely for beneficial purposes.<br>The ones that went further were purely accidental, something I stumbled into."

Nate could see that Eliot was looking for his reaction but to what he really didn't know.  
>Everything that had been said was true.<br>He already knew it, including the fact they had been very much accidental.

No, what had his mind turning was number three.  
>He knew Aimee had a spot and he was pretty sure he held the second but that left a person unaccounted for.<br>One that Eliot had obviously cared for. "So you've never purposely loved someone?" Nate moved as Eliot rearranged himself so he was sitting properly on the couch.

"I don't believe that's possible.  
>You can love someone with purpose but to purposely love someone? It wouldn't be truly genuine." Maybe he was wrong with that idea but that was how he felt.<p>

"I don't know about that." Nate disagreed as he decided to be open for once. "What I felt for Maggie wasn't anything like the first girl I loved. It wouldn't be right to compare one to the other and I don't think you could. Loving a person depends on them, every time it will be different because the reason you do will be different." With how Eliot described his feelings toward the emotion it didn't sound like he wanted to embrace it and it left Nate wondering how many times he had actually been in love.

"So there's reason behind you lovin' me?  
>Here I thought you had just lost it." Eliot joked as he moved the conversation back to them.<p>

"There's reason," Nate spoke seriously as he placed a hand over Eliot's knee. "good reason."

"Am I allowed to hear it or are they yours to keep?" Eliot asked as he stared into eyes that couldn't seem to pick a color. Nate's eyes never seemed to be quite the same, some days he'd be greeted with something cool others he'd say the blue took on a near green hue.

"You tell me." He knew exactly why he loved Eliot but the question left him wondering why Eliot thought he loved him.

"I'm supposed to figure out your reasoning?" Eliot's skepticism was clear. If he could figure out how Nate's thought process worked things would surely be simpler.

"What do I love about you Eliot?" Eliot huffed deprecatingly and it was a bother to know he didn't see the value in what he had to offer. "Just tell me one thing, just one of the reasons."

It was a question Eliot had asked himself and one he had yet to answer.  
>He honestly didn't know.<p>

"Just one." Nate was looking so intense that he knew he wouldn't be getting out of it, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try to go around.

He shifted again so his back was pressed into the corner of the couch but he didn't lose Nate's eyes.  
>They were eyes that he could lose himself in, ones that he had lost himself in.<br>They were captivating and the fire in them drew him in, had him drawing Nate closer.

There was a curiousness there as he leaned in just close enough for their breath to mingle, Nate running his tongue over his bottom lip as he waited to see what Eliot would do. Eliot just stayed put, he could nearly taste Nate's breath but it was obvious that he wanted more and eventually he even tried getting it but Eliot kept himself just out of reach.

"I love how you've still managed to keep a good work ethic.  
>You put everything into getting what you want and you expect nothing less from others." Nate tried again for a kiss but it was once again denied. "How you know exactly when I need a push and when it's best just to let me be." Nate spoke softly as he pulled his feet onto the couch in an attempt to rearrange himself so Eliot couldn't avoid him as easily. "That you don't bother me when I'm reading the paper."<p>

Eliot bit the side of his bottom lip to stop the smile he could feel coming.  
>It was something Nate did every morning and never had he ever interrupted it.<p>

"I love that." Nate pulled his thumb over Eliot's bottom lip until he reached the part that was still captured between teeth. "You have an obsession with biting my bottom lip and I really do love it." Nate slid a hand to the back of Eliot's neck, not to make him move forward but to keep him from moving back. "It's a near blissful pain." He whispered as Eliot slid forward letting the hand that had been on his shoulder slide down his side and to his hip.

Nate took it as a sign that he could make some advancements of his own and he did as he pushed Eliot to lie back some. "I love this." He murmured as he moved to kneel with one leg on either side of Eliot's thighs. "I love that you don't try to dominate me. That you're secure enough with yourself to just let go." The last two words could have been an order but it wasn't one that Eliot followed as he turned his head.

Instead of where he planned, his lips connected with the jut of Eliot's jaw but it wasn't a deterrent as he trailed wet and languid kisses toward Eliot's ear to whisper more. "I love how I created this whole situation, it's mine, yet here you are still in control of it."

He was nearly lying on top of Eliot, his fingers were exploring the skin that had been bared on his back as he had moved.

Eliot knew those fingers were itching to remove the black tank he wore as Nate's mouth traveled over every inch of skin he could find that wasn't covered.

He wanted to bite the lip that was being pulled teasingly across his skin, wanted to darken the spot that lost color way too fast in his opinion, to leave more so everyone could see exactly where he had staked his claim.

He wanted all of that but even more so he wanted to hear what else Nate had to say. "How easy you make it to forget, how good you make it to feel. That when I'm with you nothing else matters, everything else dissolves and I can just lose myself." He didn't know what Eliot was waiting for but he could feel his resolve crumbling as warm hands pushed his t-shirt up in the back.

He smiled against Eliot's neck when he heard his breath hitch and his shirt was pulled up farther.  
>He leaned back to remove it and had just managed to do so as Eliot pulled away sitting himself up.<br>That left Nate with no choice but to move from his legs as Eliot continued rearranging himself.

He watched Eliot bend his leg with a wince and it left him feeling guilty for the unnecessary weight he had put on it but that didn't last long as Eliot gave him a look that he would describe as nothing less than possessive.  
>He tried moving back toward him but Eliot just shook his head as he pulled his hair down, the only sounds being their mingled breath, Nate's a bit heavier as his hand was pushed away and Eliot pulled off his own shirt, the tease.<p>

He couldn't help but stare at the ribs that still held a variety of color but he wasn't interested in the injury as much as he was getting his hands on this newly exposed skin. It was obviously something Eliot picked up on as he offered a chaste kiss, nothing more than a quick peck and he nearly laughed at the pout Nate gave him, impatient much.

The second was lazy and he broke it before Nate had the chance to change that.

The third Nate had plans for and he didn't intend on letting Eliot change them as he deepened what had been a multitude of dry kisses into a more sensual one.

Eliot was trailing fingers up his right arm and they were leaving bumps as they went.

He had his own hands busy, one over Eliot's cheek to keep him close and the other sitting right above his left hip.  
>It wasn't close enough though and soon he was pushing Eliot back only he wouldn't go so instead he pulled him forward and with a little bit of adjusting he had gotten what he wanted plus the bonus of Eliot as his personal blanket.<p>

"What else?" Eliot spoke against Nate's lips breathlessly as he felt his boyfriends chest heave.

"I..." He was looking for the words but it was hard to focus with the attention Eliot was giving his throat. "I love how... how you've never tried to change me. That who I am is good enough for you."

"You know what?" Eliot whispered as he ran his tongue down the shell of Nate's ear.

"Wha'?" He dug his nails into Eliot's side as he nipped at his earlobe. He was given another chaste kiss and Eliot kept close. He wouldn't even say there was an eighth of an inch between their noses as he glanced into icy eyes that seemed to be searching.

"I.." but Nate interrupts with another kiss, or four.  
>Eliot had taken the tone that said he was about to say something serious and why not prolong it a little if it turned out to be news that would spoil things.<p>

"I love you." It was nearly panted and for a second he froze not believing he had heard correctly but soon Nate was grinning like a fool.  
>A barely heard I love you in a thick southern rasp and he was set.<br>It wasn't something he had expected but if the smile that kept growing wider was any indication his month had just been made.  
>He couldn't think of a single thing to say.<p>

He had a sudden urge to laugh and he really didn't know if it was from what Eliot had said or what he was currently doing.  
>Eliot looked content in his current actions though and he was more than with the attention his naval was getting.<br>That tongue was one more thing to love, so really why interrupt with words.  
>Ehhh, he'd say something later.<p> 


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty-three **

They had gone to Eliot's follow up.  
>Had learned that his brain was showing signs of residual swelling that had been hidden under the hematoma he received.<br>He had been shown the tear and a few other nicks in his muscle that was causing the pain in his back.

Good news was his femur was all sealed and near healed but it was short lived as they were told about Eliot's knee.  
>It was wrapped for now but tissue damage was becoming a worry and he had only been given a week for improvement before more drastic actions would be taken.<p>

The feelings were mixed on all of this information and to top the morning off Eliot lost his stomach unexpectedly.

It wasn't pleasant but he was ready to go after sitting the insisted time the doctor ordered to insure there'd be no sudden dizzy spells.  
>That was until his stomach lurched for the second time.<br>By the third time his chest was on fire and he was finding it hard to catch his breath as the muscles clenched painfully tight.  
>He wasn't surprised when he was admitted for observation nor were Nate's complaints unexpected when he was released a little over six hours later after a bout of oxygen and a slightly more settled stomach.<p>

"Will you stop staring at me and pay attention to the road." He didn't bother opening his eyes as he kept an arm wrapped around his midsection.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Nate glanced back over to Eliot before focusing his attention on getting them home.

"I'm fine." Nate had been asking variations of that question for a few hours now and though he appreciated the worry he was getting annoyed.

"Apart from that being the most common answer it's also the most told lie." He had watched Eliot absorb everything said, had held his hair with a soothing hand as he lost control and he knew for a fact that he wasn't "fine".

"I'm sure it is." He didn't bother with trying to sit up even as they were just houses away from their own.

"We've got company." Nate spoke as he pulled in behind Eliot's truck and next to a car he vaguely recognized.

For that Eliot opened his eyes only to close them again a second later with a deep sigh.

"What?" He questioned as he glanced between Eliot, the car, and the house knowing he knew this answer but not finding it.

"It's Aaron."

"Eliot I swear I didn't tell him."

"Nate" He had immediately gone defensive and Eliot would swear he was seconds away from beginning a plea.  
>This side of Nate wasn't one he liked seeing, he was unsure of himself and seemed too eager to please and it just wasn't the self confident man everyone else knew him to be. "I told him to come. When we were talking Friday he asked and I said he could. I just forgot that was today."<p>

"So what do you want to do?" He had yet to kill the engine and Eliot hadn't shown any signs of planning to move.

"It's my house." That was answer enough as Eliot got his door open and Nate quickly moved to be of help.

"I understand that.  
>I was just wondering if you'd want me to ask him to leave." Nate questioned as he helped Eliot rotate the now unbendable joint out of the car.<p>

"If I want him to go I'll tell him myself." Eliot grumbled as much to his annoyance an arm was wrapped around his waist and Nate gave him no choice but to use him as a support system.

"Alright" The car door was closed but the house one was opened before they even made it toward the porch.

"Eliot?" It only took Aaron a second before he was pulling his arm around his shoulder and honestly, he wasn't crippled. "I thought you said you were doing good?"

"I am" He was focusing on the movement and not so much on how he was suddenly feeling uneasy.

"Really? Cause right now you're lookin' like somethin' that got chewed up and spit out."

"Off day." He swallowed hard as he tried to ignore the phrasing his brother had used.

"If you say so." Aaron helped him toward the couch as Nate closed the door wondering where the other two were.

"Do you want water or Gatorade?" He asked as he stuffed a pillow under Eliot's foot.

"Ice" Nate was hovering, Aaron was staring, and honestly all he wanted was to try for a nap.

"Are you alright?" Aaron sat on the edge of the coffee table as Nate left to get a glass of ice.

"I'm fine." He forced a calm into his voice that he wasn't feeling as he tried not to get frustrated with the repeated question.

"You're looking a little green, you sure you don't need a bag, maybe a bucket?" Aaron asked as he glanced toward the kitchen.

"I'm good." Eliot answered as he looked to his brother who was still looking suspiciously toward the other room. "You uncomfortable around him?" Aaron looked like he was trying to say everything on his mind before Nate got back.

"No I'm... I just..."

"He ain't gonna bite ya." And here he had thought Aaron and Nate were good.

"I'm just trying to watch out for ya Eliot." His brothers laughter wasn't unexpected since he was the baby of the family but it still peeved him. "Seriously. How much older is he than you anyway?"

"Does it matter?" Now Eliot was glancing toward the kitchen, not because he didn't want Nate to hear but because he believed him to be listening in.

"I just want you... I want you to be..."

"I hear where you're comin' from Aaron but your worry ain't worth nothing here." He had expected more questions, it was human nature to be curious about something that was out of the norm but he wasn't really up to answering them at the moment.

"This is where you want to be though right?  
>If you ain't happy here you're more than welcome to come crash with me." The offer was more for his own sake as he was strictly family first and he didn't want to feel like he had abandoned Eliot by leaving him with no other options.<p>

"I'm liking right where I am just fine for now and before you ask I mean it in every sense you wanna question." His life, his relationship, his job, he was set and content for now. Well at least as much as he could currently be.

"Good" It was the closest he'd get Eliot to saying he was happy and he was happy with that.

"Ice" Nate announced as he came into the room as if on que.  
>Not only did he have a glass of ice that he handed to Eliot but also a pack that he dropped on his knee and a few assorted drinks. "I wasn't sure if you wanted anything or if you had a certain liking so I brought you a few choices." Nate placed a water, an apple juice, and a Gatorade all chilled next to Aaron.<p>

They were pretty limited on what they had.  
>Beer had been kept out of the house, Eliot believed soda to be artificial crap, but he had a strange liking for apple juice.<br>Nate was near positive it had to be a childhood thing and was proven right as Aaron picked up the juice without hesitation.

"Thanks" Aaron mumbled as he moved himself off the table and to a chair.

Nate just nodded as he grabbed the Gatorade and removed the cap before offering it to Eliot. "You need to drink some of this."

Eliot accepted the drink without comment though he didn't do much more than sip at it.  
>Sure fluids were important but they'd be useless if he threw them all back up.<p>

"So..." He didn't know if anyone else was feeling it but to Nate the silence that fell was nothing less than awkward. "Have you started planning the wedding yet?"

"Not formally but apparently Ashlee's been at it since seven." By the way Aaron said it you could tell she had already shared more than a thought or two.

"Sounds like Maggie." It was just Eliot's luck to have a mouth full of ice at that moment.

"Who's Maggie?"

"My wife." Nate let out absently before a foot was stuffed in his back.

Eliot nearly choked down his ice as he rushed to say, "EX! Maggie's his ex wife." The last thing he needed was his brother thinking he was dating a married man.

"Completely right." Nate added at the look coming from Aaron's wide and accusing eyes. "I've been divorced for years now." Though it still pained him to admit that failure.

"Anyway," Aaron put that information to the side for now, he'd figure out what he wanted to do with it later. "Ashlee sends her best and she's already asking for your measurements. You're best man and don't even try getting out of it."

"Ain't it a lit-"

"I JUST HAD KITTENS!" And seconds later Parker appeared in the livingroom with a tiny black and white kitty in one hand and a near silver in the other.

"Nice to see you're up and movin' so soon." Aaron snatched the chance to snipe at the woman who he was still reluctant to be around.

"Parker go put them back." Nate ordered as he deducted where she had been, one down.

"But they're mine." Parker pouted as she held the two kittens that were mewling helplessly closer.

"They're babies Parker, they need to eat and you need to go put them back with their momma." She tried puppy eyes but Eliot stood strong and eventually she relented.

"Fine but this means you're telling Hardison he doesn't get to name any of them.  
>He already tried to claim the white one and he's calling it Zero.<br>What kind of name is that?" She didn't get any answers and after a few awkward stares she was leaving the house again mumbling how it was a stupid name.

"I bet you anything they all end up named after currency." Their whereabouts no longer unknown Nate offered up a fun little wager.

"You see I would... but there's this small little thing..." Nate lifted a curious eyebrow at Eliot's words. "I like my money."

"You think we can convince her to only keep one?" Nate moved on, he wasn't really an animal person.

"You'll be lucky if you convince her to keep them outside." Eliot was amused by Nate's wrinkled expression though he went back to their original topic as Aaron was looking off put. "You choose a date yet?"

"I would have preferred sooner but she wanted a special day so it's August 12th next year... the day we met." Aaron's last words were spoken more carefully as he studied the look that crossed Eliot's face. "What?"

"It's nothin', that's just Nate's birthday." It was kind of weird that they'd have a day in common like that.

"Strange coincidence." Aaron shrugged it off.

"If you look on the bright side of it it means you only have to remember one anniversary." Nate stretched out the last word as he directed it toward Eliot.

"You already forgettin' 'em El?" Aaron spoke amusedly at that revelation.

"HEY! I've got brain swellin' over here!" He'd swear they'd use anything to nag him with.

"Use it as an excuse while you have it." Nate lightened a subject that was otherwise too weighted for his liking.

"You should have told me when it was. I would've..." What was proper gift etiquette for your brother and his partner?

"Sent a card?" Eliot teased.

"You know what? Now I'm gonna get you one." Eliot breathed a laugh at that, knowing his brother it would say something along the lines of, 'Happy 50th Grandpa'.

"Better yet I think I'll get you one each."

"Thank you?" Nate spoke cautiously, it had sounded more like a threat than anything.

"You drive all the way out here or?" Eliot continued on as he tried to find a position that would relieve some of the pressure on his back without him having to get up.

"Yesterday. I brought Ashlee up, her and Sarah were already out and looking for dresses so we just stayed the night.  
>I've got work tomorrow though so we'll be goin' just as soon as she gets here.<br>I was expecting you earlier but I'll be back up this weekend so I'll come see you, see what trouble we can't cause." Aaron spoke as he twirled his now half drunk juice bottle through his fingers.

"He's already caused enough of his own trouble, he doe-"

"Ashlee's coming here?" Nate was cut off by Eliot's deeply accusing words.

"Yeah. You're closer to the highwa-"

"Who's dropping her off?" Aaron was too cut short by near icy questioning.

Eliot didn't have to wait for an answer, the slight shift his brother did in his seat said it all. "NO!" It was harsh and dark as he shook his head but he didn't care. "You call her and you tell her you're gonna pick up Ashlee cause she ain't comin' over here."

"Eliot" It was Nate who had something to say about the cold coming from his right.

"I'll give you the extra gas money if that's what that's about but I don't want to see her right now." Nate was ignored as he made himself heard.

"Eliot you can't just not talk to her.  
>I've been stuck in the middle of this crap and I'd appreciate it if I could plan my wedding without having to deal with the damn Hatfields and McCoys!" Sarah had been giving him the same stubbornness and it was maddening.<p>

"Five weeks Aaron!  
>I haven't seen her, she hasn't tried to make herself heard in over five weeks!<br>I've been twenty minutes away this whole time and she's acted as if she didn't even have the breath to waste just to come and say she was done." He could feel the headache that had been patiently waiting on the sidelines all day starting to push itself forward.

"Well you didn't go over there either." He wasn't trying to place the blame he was just letting Eliot know he had his own free part in it.

"Like that's so easy to do right now... and I highly doubt I would have been welcomed."

"Well somebody has got to start somewhere and we both know it wont be Sarah." Talking to Eliot was like talking to a deaf mule but believe it or not it was still better than trying to get through to Sarah.

"Well right now it wont be me either.  
>She was fine waiting this long so she can just keep up with that." He did things on his time and no one was gonna force him to do any different, not even his brother.<p>

"Either way you two need to calm this down." Nate interrupted. "You just got out of the hospital and this isn't doing you any good." Eliot had a thin sheen of sweat starting to show on his face which considering they were sitting in an air conditioned room wasn't good and his color was looking nothing less than ghostly.

"Alright, I'll ca-" the doorbell interrupted that thought and for a minute the silence was eerie.

"Am I getting that?" The air was tense but a rough jerk of Eliot's head had Nate moving to the door.

"Hi Nate!" Ashlee spoke cheerily as if she didn't realize the situation she had just walked into, but given the circumstances she probably didn't.

"Hello Ashlee" Nate greeted barely as he looked to Sarah who was holding an arm full of bags much the same as Ashlee.  
>It was obvious she was helping unload but whatever thoughts she had been sharing stopped as she caught sight of Nate. "Sarah"<p>

"I thought you said this place belonged to a friend of Aaron's?" Sarah questioned as she ignored Nate, trying to look past him instead but he was holding the door too close.

"That's what he told me." Ashlee was confused with Sarah's sudden attitude change.

"That's because he is a friend." Aaron spoke as he came up behind Nate and pulled the door open. Ashlee as always looked happy to see him but Sarah's glare was near identical to the one he had left Eliot wearing.

"Sarah!" Nate was stunned to hear Eliot call for her after everything he had just said but maybe, not likely, but maybe Aaron had said something to change his mind in the last two seconds.

"Eliot's here?" Ashlee asked which Aaron confirmed as Nate welcomed the girls in though Aaron had to more push Sarah through the door.

"Wow" Ashlee breathed as they left the small entrance and she entered the livingroom to get her first glance at Eliot.

"You should have seen him a month ago." Aaron offered despite his brothers glare.

"Ashlee" Eliot greeted though he wasn't amused with his brother acting as if he was a show nor the audience he had gathered. "it's nice to see you again."

"As it is with you." Ashlee returned as she did her best to keep her manners and not stare.

"We've got to get goin' Ash."

"I'll help you out with your packages." Nate offered referring to the ones that had been dropped by the door.

"I wish you well in your recovery Eliot, may it go well for you." She bid as she left the house with Nate after Eliot offered his thanks.

She wasn't sure why but there was definitely tension between that group and it disappointed her.  
>With how close Aaron claimed Eliot to have come to death she had expected them to start celebrating his life and why they weren't was something she'd have to figure.<p>

"Sarah" Aaron warned as he grabbed her by the arm to prevent her from leaving like she was trying to do. "Can you please just try."

Sarah simply crossed her arms and he found himself steering her butt into a chair. "Both of you," Aaron backed up to the rooms entrance, he really did need to get going. "please try to work through this."

He had gotten them together again but the rest was out of his hands. "TALK" It was his last plea as he left hoping he hadn't made things worse.

Nate had taken his time coming back.  
>He had even gone around the yard to tell Hardison and Parker to get lost for a few hours.<br>Hardison's thoughts had of course been lewd but it didn't matter much as long as he left, right now was no time for them to be meeting Sarah.

Only after he made sure they were on their way did he go back into the house and eventually the livingroom.  
>Sarah was looking at anything but Eliot, Eliot was staring straight at her and he felt like an intruder.<p>

The quiet was killing him, this sound was one he didn't believe existed but he was hearing it.  
>He was hearing the actual sound of stubbornness.<br>It was a creepily dreadful non-noise and he just had to break it and as he sat down he did. "So?"

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Next part will pick up at the exact spot and or word we stopped with.  
>Thanks in advance for R&amp;R!<strong>


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty-four**

His word went without recognition and he was trying to decide if he should remove himself from this scene or if he should quite literally stay in the middle and play referee should that be needed.

"Are you gonna say somethin'?" It was Eliot who finally broke the silence as he caught his sisters gaze for the first time since Easter.

"Are you?" She gave back coldly.

"Like?" He quickly picked up the same tone as he shifted to sit straighter.  
>For the first time in his life he'd say he wasn't comfortable around her.<p>

"How about an apology for starters?" She had been waiting for a call but apparently that was too much to ask for seeing as he already placed his boyfriend in higher regard than her.

"For what!" He had been out cold for whatever had gone on between her and Nate and he had expected some backsplash from it but this was a lot more than that.

"Are you serious!  
>What don't you need to apologize for right now you liar!" She had stood picking up a pace to dispense the extra emotion.<p>

"I didn't lie to you about a damn thing!  
>Last time I checked I was a grown man and you weren't anybody I had to give my life to play by play!" Nate knew that tone, he hated it and he'd give Sarah credit for not flinching at it.<p>

"I wouldn't want to hear it but don't you dare say you didn't lie to me when it's sittin' right there!" She thrust an accusing finger in Nate's direction.

"You just ain't happy until you got control but it ain't happenin' this time Sarah!  
>The day I say I'm sorry for dating Nate is the day you tell me you regret marryin' Pete!" This was exactly what he hadn't wanted.<p>

"You've got no right comparing him to Pete!"

"And you've got no right to judge when you don't even know him!"

"He makes quite the impression." She spoke dryly as she gave Nate another depreciative glance.

"Yeah cause you're such a saint Sarah.  
>I ain't never told you what to do with your life because it was yours but there you are stickin' your nose up at mine!"<p>

"What life Eliot?  
>You don't let me know any of that and as far as I'm concerned it doesn't even exist!<br>At Christmas you tell me you just ended a relationship and then he tells me that ya'll have been together for two years!  
>TWO YEARS ELIOT!<br>Two of them... yet you still have the nerve to say you haven't been lying!"

"That was my business not yours and I didn't even know you were getting married until a week before the damn wedding!" His head was pounding and frankly he was in pain.

"Which you didn't even bother going to!  
>I was married for seven months and pregnant before you met my husband!" No way was he using that against her when that had been his fault.<p>

"And that's my bad but there ain't nothing I can do about it now.  
>I ain't nothin' or no one to be idolizing or looking for guidance from and I don't know what the hell you want from me but I can tell you right now you ain't gonna find it.<br>I did what I could for you a long time ago and I'm done, there isn't any of that left and that ain't me anymore."

"Only because you ran scared from it!  
>That first time you came back you could've settled, you could have gotten a house, a job and made somethin' of yourself but you keep on running.<br>Free spirit my ass, a coward is what you are!"

"Maybe you're right.  
>I could've, probably should've settled but I don't regret not doin' it, there is too much I would've missed." There had been times in his life that had been pure hell but the good wedged in between had been worth every second of it.<p>

"And you're not missing it now?  
>All I want is for you to have a decent life Eliot.<br>To find yourself someone you actually love and I don't give a damn about the gender.  
>To have some kids, to make a home, and to actually start living." Nate had to bite his tongue at the actually love comment. He was loved, Eliot had just told him so yesterday and they had a home, well sort of.<p>

"I don't want that."

"Elio-"

"No, I already had the house!  
>I already had the woman!<br>That was all already mine and guess what Sarah! I fucked it up!  
>Is that what you want to hear?<br>You want to know all about me but there ain't nothin' to tell!  
>There's only one thing that you need to know and it'll answer everything else.<br>Your big brother's a loser! He spent his whole life making one bad decision after another!"

"Eliot stop." She was supposed to be mad at him but she couldn't do that if she had to save him from his own stupid insults.

"Did I ruin my life? Probably but it was mine.  
>I knotted, twisted, and tangled the damn thing and I know it's a mess.<br>I tore it to shreds and I know it's stained but it's mine.  
>You go on and look at it or judge it any way you want but don't you even go criticizing the one good thing I put in it in over a decade." Now Eliot was pointing at him and he felt like a mix of helpless bystander and gawker.<p>

What she had to say didn't matter because she knew he was done.  
>He had given her more than he wanted, probably more than she was expecting and it was in the air what she'd do with it.<p>

"Eliot are you alright?" She had so much more to say but all of that was pushed to the side by worry. He looked like he might pass out.

That was it.  
>That question was the last straw. "Leave"<p>

"Eli-"

"GO!"

Nate kind of felt bad for her as she looked like she had just been slapped and it had him following her to the door. "Sarah?"

"What?" He wasn't surprised as she snapped at him.

"If it means anything to you I do apologize.  
>My words were rude and uncalled for and I'm sorry our meetings haven't been under better circumstances.<br>Eliot really does care for you though and I'm glad to see the sentiment is shared even if it's leaving things out of my favor for the moment."

"Thank You" Nate watched her rub stubbornly at an eye as she turned and left.

As he returned to the living room he saw Eliot sprawled out on the couch, his breathing seeming a little too heavy, and he was staring absently.

He moved closer but Eliot shook his head. "Just leave it alone Nate." He had questions about what had been said. Eliot obviously knew this but once again he'd put them away, he'd save them for later.

Right now he'd let Eliot be.  
>Hopefully with the time he'd gain some color and maybe a little perspective.<br>He'd go to their room so Eliot could focus on breathing and not needing another trip to the hospital and when things had calmed he'd come and be a distraction.  
>He'd give Eliot something to focus on when thoughts were trying to pull him in like they loved to do at times like these.<p>

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

_"We've gotta go!" Eliot all but stormed through the door of their tiny home, already looking for a duffle to pack._

_"Where? Why?" Maritza asked stunned as Eliot all but yanked the basket of laundry she had been folding from her dumping it into his newly found bag._

_"We'll go anywhere you want but we can't stay here Itza, they're looking for me." He didn't pause in collecting what they would need for their journey._

_"But you didn't do anything wrong Eliot." He had promised her that everyone on both sides of this mess had thought him to have been killed, that they wouldn't have to run because no one chased a dead man._

_"They don't care!_  
><em>I don't know who they are or what they're about but I know what our orders were and I can guarantee you they ain't comin' to do anything less than return the favor." She wasn't moving and he was beginning to wonder if she really understood the gravity of the situation.<em>

_"That was months ago!_  
><em>You got ambushed and those orders were never followed through!<em>  
><em>The rest of your group retreated like swine and you've been right with me, so why now?" They had a nice little house, Eliot worked in a small bakery where the hours let him be nice and unnoticed just like he liked, and well all of this was supposed to be behind them. Things were supposed to be normal.<em>

_"Somehow they figured out I'm alive._  
><em>You said it yourself, they ambushed me, it's my face they know, they'll be coming after me first.<em>  
><em>Maritza we've got to go." He was done, anything else they could pick up along the way.<em>

_"This is my home Eliot." She sat back down even as he moved toward the door._

_"We'll make a new one, a better one." He moved to kneel before her. "We can go anywhere you like. We'll get married just like we planned and we'll make that home, I promise."_

_"This is all I know, all I've ever known and I wont leave it." She denied as she fiddled with the modest engagement ring he had given her. It was more of a band and though he had promised to eventually replace it she cherished it._

_"Maritza we-"_

_"No Eliot, I'm not going."_

_"Well I'm not leaving you!" They could have days, they could have hours, he didn't know but he knew they needed to go._

_"And I'm not leaving here!_  
><em>I didn't run when my father was killed nor when my brother was imprisoned and I wont do it now!"<em>

_"It isn't an option Maritza!_  
><em>We're not safe here... if we stay we'll lose everything.<em>  
><em>All of your dreams, everything we've created, it'll all be worthless."<em>

_"I said no!" This was her life and she wouldn't abandon it._

_"WHY ARE YOU SO PIG HEADED! Damn it Maritza do you see where you've put me! I'm not leaving you!" He paced the room angrily as he pulled at his hair in frustration._

_"And I refuse to leave my family, my friends, my world._  
><em>I'm willing to fight for that and you're obviously not the man I thought you were because if you were you'd be willing to fight for that too." She crossed her arms and Eliot knew he was doomed. He could remove her bodily sure but he knew every free chance she got she'd try to come back.<em>

_"Alright" It was wrong, he knew it was but his place was with her and he wouldn't go without her._

_"Where are you going?" He was already exiting the house and she was worried._

_"I'm not gonna just sit here with a big ole target painted on my back. I'm gonna go see if I can't get us some help." He knew there'd be consequences but he'd have to face them cause going back was currently his only hope._

_"Be careful."_

_"You too, keep low and don't let anyone in._  
><em>You take this," He passed her the hand gun he had been issued, he didn't leave the house without it. "and if you need to you use it. I'll be back just as soon as I can." A quick kiss and he left with a wary feeling.<em>

It was around two in the morning, Eliot had been sleeping for about three hours now but he had yet to settle.  
>Eliot hadn't really spoken since Sarah left and it had him going back to what had actually been said in that conversation.<br>He hadn't asked anything but he had been collecting information for months now and a time line of Eliot's life was falling into place before his eyes.

Jimmy had declared a decade of love to Eliot which would have made him only 25 at the time but Eliot had already claimed himself to be a monster by then.

Aaron and Sarah had verified that Eliot was still very much light hearted and himself when they had seen him on her graduation which by his calculations would make Eliot 23 if she hadn't repeated any.

Eliot had told him that that was the exact time he had been dating Aimee but he had also said that he left for an op and he knew from her personally that Eliot hadn't returned.

Muffled syllables had Nate looking over to Eliot.  
>It was too vague to be understood but Eliot's expression was uneasy.<p>

After the day he had had Nate wasn't surprised that trouble would have followed Eliot into sleep, he was too good a target to let pass just because he was tired.

He moved closer to Eliot and began trailing his fingers through that hair and along the scalp trying to provide a small comfort.  
>It brought some as he settled against the headboard and back into his thoughts.<p>

He had been given the summary, well more like the outline, until 23 but then things were non-existant until 25.  
>That left two years to be filled and it was obviously something in that time gap that had turned a sweet southern boy cold as ice.<p>

Eliot had also admitted that very night to living with a woman domestically and Nate was positive she'd have to be the mystery person from their conversation yesterday. Where she fit was the question.  
>After Aimee was a given but that left things still pretty open.<p>

The first time he had gone after Eliot was after the name Spencer already held some weight and with the reputation that was beginning to proceed him and the way he could vanish just as if he was never there Nate doubted he had had an actual home let alone a woman waiting there for him.

No, not with that life... and with the way he knew Eliot to go through women he knew it couldn't have been anything remotely recent.  
>All evidence pointed elsewhere and he had a sinking suspicion that she was dab in the middle of that two year time hole.<p>

A hitched breath had Nate returning his attention to Eliot.  
>It had sounded shocked and Eliot was beginning to seem restless as he tossed himself further toward the edge of the bed.<p>

Normally Eliot was a light sleeper, if he even rolled wrong in the middle of the night Eliot would wake, and why he hadn't now was bothersome.

Should he wake him?  
>Eliot was now lying on his bad leg and that pressure surely was causing discomfort not to mention the whimper he could have sworn he just heard.<br>Eliot didn't whimper.

Placing a hand on Eliot's shoulder his mind was made as he pulled him back toward him.  
>The face he was met with was a mix of disbelief, sorrow, and pure anger. Eliot's eyes were clenched and Nate could see he was clearly in a battle be it against monster or memory.<p>

It wasn't one that he would leave him on his own with so he patted Eliot on the forearm, a less threatening place, with a steady "Eliot". He didn't believe Eliot to have heard him as a low but clearly anguished "why" barely left his mouth. "Eliot" His voice seemed to hold no power as he watched Eliot's fingers curl in the slightest as he appeared to be pulled further into his subconscious.

Nightmares weren't something he had experience with.  
>He had had a few of course but dealing with them was something else entirely, especially when it was someone elses and they were in the midst of it.<p>

"Eliot" There was the very likely possibility that Eliot could get violent and though Nate knew he'd eventually wake on his own he couldn't bring himself to leave him be completely.

Calling out to him was going nowhere so instead he offered little nothings letting him know on some level at least where he really was and that he wasn't alone.  
>Though he wasn't very good at it it seemed to be working to an extent or at least that's what he thought until he accidentally bumped Eliot's hand.<br>It was like a trigger pull as suddenly a fist connected with his jaw and he wasn't even given the time to look dazed as Eliot moved with a speed he shouldn't have and pressed him into the mattress with a forearm against his throat.

"El...Eli..." It was croaked out and the best he could manage as he stared into eyes he didn't recognize.  
>Eliot looked ready to kill and with more pressure being applied to his throat he sure felt like he might die.<br>He didn't know where Eliot was or who he was with mentally but in their bedroom with him sure wasn't it and as he started seeing spots he knew he actually needed to protect himself from a man that had promised never to hurt him.

It took a great deal to get his arm free from where it had been pinned but with a little effort and a lot of force he slammed his fist like a hammer down onto Eliot's back feeling bad about it but aiming for the torn muscle. The pain that should have caused received nothing more than a grunt at the moment as Eliot stared at him with nothing less than hate soon thrusting a knee into his groin.

Immediately he wanted to curl in on himself in pain but it wasn't possible.  
>All he could do was verbalize his discomfort and be thankful that in those mixed movements Eliot's arm had loosened and he could refill his lungs with the air that had been knocked out of them.<p>

"I'm gonna make you regret the day you were born boy." Those words came from Eliot's mouth but they weren't his, just like this wasn't his Eliot.

"Eliot" He might have sounded panicked but it should probably be more like terrified. He had heard the stories of damage Eliot had done with seemingly innocent objects and what he could come up with while in an unbalanced mental state wasn't something he wanted to figure out. "Eliot it's Nate."

Who Eliot was looking at was an obvious enemy and Nate knew if he wanted that thought to dissipate he'd have to break the illusion.  
>In this situation you'd beg and plead, you'd fight back, that was what Eliot was expecting and that's exactly why he wouldn't do it. "Eliot listen to me... it's me." He stressed the word as he forced himself to relax, in the very least Eliot wasn't currently assaulting him. His arm was still across his throat but there was no real pressure as he could speak freely and he believed Eliot's protesting injuries were beginning to cut through the haze.<p>

"I wont hurt you... there's no danger here Eliot... we're safe." The confusion that fell over Eliot's face wasn't much better than the hate but it was progress. "You keep us safe remember, that's another reason why I love you." Understanding was nice to see after everything that had just gone down but it was short lived as Eliot's eyes went wide with realization of what he was doing.

"Eliot" If he thought he had been afraid the fear Eliot was portraying as he scrambled up and off of him was nothing if not magnified. "Eliot" He continued putting distance between them and Nate watched as Eliot seemingly unaware of the lack of bed behind him soon fell off of it.

"ELIOT!" It was only seconds before he had himself to the other side. "Eliot are you alright?" He had a hand on his head but it quickly moved to his mouth as he hurriedly moved to the bathroom, half falling, half crawling.

By the time he got off the bed there was already a loud clank coming from the connected room and he was rushing into the bathroom to make sure Eliot hadn't taken another tumble.

The immediate sound and stench made it clear where Eliot was but he flipped the light switch to rid the shadows in the room anyway.  
>The counter clutter had found its way to the floor but was quickly overlooked as he grabbed an elastic from the drawer and kneeled next to Eliot.<br>He gathered slightly sweaty hair doing his best to tie it back as he tried to wrap his head around everything that had just happened.

"Try to get a pattern back into your breathing." Nate spoke softly as he rubbed a back he could feel spazzing. His other hand trying to soothe the throat that was quickly becoming sore, his voice was already hoarse.

He believed Eliot to have taken his advise as he blew out a breath slowly, eventually resting his forehead on the arm propped on the rim of the toilet. "That's it.. keep it steady." The tile was unforgiving to his knees and so he sat ever mindful of getting too close and making Eliot feel crowded. "Did you hurt yourself when you fell?" Eliot seemed out of it, the only sound was of him spitting bile as he continued his struggle to clear his throat.

"Stop that." Nate got up to fill a glass for him before he'd make himself sick again. "I wouldn't suggest drinking any of that yet but it should help to have your mouth rinsed." His suggestion was ignored or possibly unheard as Eliot stared into the cup as if there was actually something at the bottom, Nate having already had to press his fingers around it.

"Eliot talk to me." It was a plea as he suddenly felt the urge to make sure Eliot would be able to shake the after effects of that dream.

"They... I... I couldn't..." He was soon trembling with the memory and Nate had to take the glass away as water began sloshing everywhere.

"Shhh" He didn't know what to do.  
>He had seen Eliot angry, injured, vulnerable, with his guard down, and just plain emotional but this Eliot, this one seemed broken. "It's okay." He didn't believe it but hopefully he could sell it to Eliot. "Just don't think about it." He handled the unpleasant task of flushing as Eliot scooted back against the tub shaking his head. "Think about us." He sat next to him not liking how Eliot was beginning to curl in on himself.<p>

"About what color you're going to paint the outrageously overpriced place we're going to be moving into." Eliot had looked over to him and he thought he was getting through but no such luck as Eliot's eyes dropped to his neck which he knew was already showing signs of bruising. "Don't you worry about that."

"I'm sorry" And now Eliot was apologizing and it sounded so hurt and raw that Nate couldn't be sure he was speaking to him. "I'm sorry" It became a repeated mantra as Nate lost more of his Eliot and someone elses took over.

"Shhh" He drapped an arm around him as he tried to be a source of comfort. He didn't know the story but he hoped that whoever had caused Eliot to have such a break from his own had died a long and painful death.

"I... I left.. I shouldn't have done that. It was my fault." The words were pained and Nate had to stop him from pulling his hair.

"What was your fault Eliot?"

"I'm sorry Itza, I'm so sorry." Nate watched as Eliot pulled his legs up and buried his face into them covering his head as if he was trying to block something out.

"She knows" He spoke freely as he realized Eliot was past hearing anything he said.

What it was, or better yet who he didn't know but he was sure this had been exactly what he was looking for. "Shhh" Being close was all he could really offer as Eliot begged to be left alone, pleaded for forgiveness, and it hurt him to be so utterly useless. "I promise Eliot, she knows."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: I didn't follow Aimee's story completely so her past with Eliot and what she has mentioned is irrelevant unless I too have mentioned it.**

**Mentioning the past, we just got a big piece of Eliot's ...and poor him:(**

**Well hope you liked and let me know whatcha think!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

It was still fairly early as Hardison walked out of the kitchen with his breakfast bowl.  
>He had heard the shower running as he passed the bathroom on his way down though so he was sure Parker'd be joining him soon.<p>

"Do You Wanna Watch Where The Hell You're Sitting!" He nearly dropped his food as he jumped back up from where he had sat on Nate's legs, he was clearly angry about it.

"Sorry man, I didn't know you were there." He moved to an armchair without hesitation. "Ya'll still got the door closed so I just figured hadn't nobody come out yet."

That had been the only rule Nate set.  
>If the door to his room was closed you weren't to enter.<br>Hardison understood them wanting privacy and it wasn't a big deal because it was barely ever closed other than for the night and was usually opened before he got down the stairs in the mornings.

"Well I did." Nate grumbled as he sat up rubbing at his eyes, he hadn't slept at all.

"Yeah I can see..." Hardison began speaking as he looked up from his bowl to Nate. What he saw changed the topic. "What the hell happened to your neck?"

"Nothing" The question sent him back a few hours as he thought back to how he had ended up on the couch.  
>After Eliot's break down he shut down asking him to leave and for all Nate knew he was still on the bathroom floor.<p>

"That's not nothing Nate." He didn't like what picture the denial and dark bruising were painting in his mind.

"Leave it alone Hardison." He near ordered as Alec moved to sit next to him, probably to inspect his neck better.

"Did Eliot do this?" The marking was similar to ones he had seen from having an arm around your neck and he doubted Nate had been trying to strangle himself.

"What are you suggesting?" He sounded suspicious and it wasn't welcome.

"Has he done anything like this before?"

Maybe it was the lack of sleep or maybe it was the worry but it took Nate a minute to realize what Hardison was saying. "Are you seriously suggesting abuse?" They fit quite a few categories but domestic violence sure wasn't one of them and he wasn't sure if Hardison thinking otherwise was insulting or laughable.

"All I'm saying is that those marks don't look friendly and what I heard last night didn't sound it either." He had talked himself out of going down there because he figured it wasn't his business but maybe he should have.

"It was no ones fault Hardison." Nate was already mentally kicking himself. If that didn't sound like a classic battered womans phrase. "It was an accident." Yep, that sounded much better.

"Strangling you was accidental? Yeah right Nate!  
>I don't know what all went on between ya'll but there ain't no damn way you'll make me believe you can choke someone without meaning to do it.<br>I ain't stupid and that ain't acceptable." Hardison was looking too involved for just his sake and it was becoming clear abusive tendencies were in his past, perhaps his own parents.

"I'll do us both the favor and pretend like this conversation never happened." With that Nate left with coffee in mind. Hardison's concern was acknowledged though severely misplaced and if he was bold enough to say so, stupid.

Last night wasn't the best example but Eliot was a complete teddy bear, albeit a grumpy one, but one none the less.  
>He was a sweetheart and dare he say it a softy depending on the situation.<br>If he was accusing any of his relationships of being abusive it sure wasn't this one.  
>No Maggie had the tongue he swore could cut and Sophie, well that woman was always slapping him.<p>

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"She doesn't like Steve." Parker announced as she heard Hardison come up behind her a little while later in the shed. "She wont feed her." Hardison rolled his eyes at the name, only Parker would name a female kitten Steve.

"It's tough love Parker. She's lettin' them know only the ones who are strong enough to go after what they want will survive." He had been there for the whole birth, may he say how nasty it was, and knew that Steve was the runt.

"Well then she's a bad mother." Parker lifted Steve, she was solid black with the slightest white streak traveling from in between her ears down to the tip of her nose, as if she was protecting her from the cat.

"Parker have you seen Nate?" What he had seen earlier was still nagging him and he had come to share his thoughts with her.

"I think he's in the kitchen." She spoke absently as she tried to figure out how she would remedy Steve's current situation.

"No. I meant if you had actually looked at him, maybe spoke to him?"

"No. Why?"

"Eliot bruised his neck.  
>He says it was an accident but it looks pretty bad and I think Nate's just trying to cover for him.<br>The why is what I can't figure." He knew Eliot was a good guy but he also knew he had a bad temper.

"Maybe they got a little kinky." Parker shrugged off his worry as his jaw dropped, it wasn't her business and she really didn't care. She had a kitten to care for since its mother wouldn't.

"I'm being serious Parker.  
>I think they got in a physical fight last night.<br>Nate wont say a thing and Eliot's got himself locked up and I don't like it." What others did was their business, he was the first to preach as much, but if those two were hurting each other he sure as hell wasn't going to sit on his hands and let 'em do it.

"Really Hardison?" Parker disagreed with his thoughts completely. "Eliot would have been yelling, he would have kicked everyone out of his house. Nate would have said a load he'd regret seconds after it left his mouth, he'd go get drunk and find a way to blame everyone but himself if they were fighting but they wouldn't beat each other. That's just not them.  
>One; Nate's still walking and talking so you're obviously mistaken and two; Eliot's not that kind of person."<p>

"I'm not saying he is, I'm just trying to get some reasons behind what I saw." He couldn't even begin to wrap his mind around a logical reason for the bruising on Nate's neck and the more he thought about it the more he began to think about possible injuries that he hadn't seen.

"Alright then." Parker spoke casually as she exited the shed with Steve.

"Where are you going?" Hardison called out after her.

"To get your reasons!" She called back. Maybe Eliot could help her with Steve while she was at it.

It was only a few minutes before she was outside his door which to her surprise was locked.  
>It wasn't an obstacle as the lock was generic enough that it didn't even need to be picked, a little pressure and something as simple as a pen would have it open.<p>

No the surprise was the symbol behind the locked door, Eliot was trying to shut them out or perhaps close himself off, either way it wasn't happening. She didn't even have to put Steve down to complete her task and near immediately she was opening the door to a pitch black room.

Normally the two windows in the room gave it more than enough light but with the blind and curtain covering each completely it was near ghostly.

"Eliot?" Maybe he was having a bad day or maybe Hardison had a point with saying something was up and out with them.

A glance to the bed let her know it was empty and she held Steve just a little tighter as she entered the bathroom.  
>There was a mix of things on the floor, assorted soap bottles lying in the bottom of the tub, and what she assumed were pieces of a cup scattered along the bath mat, but no signs of Eliot.<p>

The room wasn't very big and the bed took up most of that space so her next choice was the closet.  
>Why Eliot would be in the closet she didn't know but she checked it anyway finding nothing more than assorted clothes.<p>

"Eliot?" It was when she moved to the other side of the room that she spotted him sitting against the side of the bed, with the height of it he hadn't been visible before. "What are you doing?" He didn't answer her nor did he say anything when she pulled the curtain open to let in some light.

Now she could clearly see a deeply disheveled Eliot whose face appeared dark and drained, it was bothersome but not as much as the blood that covered his arm. Immediately she thought back to the broken glass in the bathroom.

"Eliot?" It didn't even seem like he knew of her presence as she kneeled next to him inspecting his arm to find the blood dried, she couldn't tell how bad it was. "How'd you hurt yourself?" That got his attention as he glanced at his arm as if seeing it for the first time but it didn't hold it for long as he shrugged it off with little care.

"Hardison says you and Nate were fighting last night." Parker spoke slowly as she tried to remember Sophie's advice on reactions. "Is that how you got cut?" He shook his head and at the same time seemingly spotted Steve because he was soon taking her from Parker's hand and placing her in his lap.

"Were you fighting last night?" There was no confirmation or denial as he repeatedly ran a finger over the kitten.

If Nate was acting anything like Eliot right now than Hardison's worry was clearly understood by her but she knew whatever had gone on between them had been more than a fight. Though he hadn't said a word Eliot was telling her as much and it had her thinking that maybe Nate had hit some uncharted territory.

"You ever wonder how it would be to free fall?" She hadn't been expecting him to say anything so it took her a minute to figure out what he meant.

"Without a rig you'd fall to your death, simple as that." There was nothing to wonder about, she certainly hadn't.

"But before that... knowing that the feeling you're having will be your last.  
>That there's no one, nothing that can save you once you drop, it's got to intensify death."<p>

She understood the freedom you felt when falling, it was a feeling like no other and she loved it, but never had she ever thought of actually dying during a jump. Eliot was speaking of death as if it was something to be fond of and for the first time she was thinking there was something wrong with him. "I guess. Unless you fall or were pushed."

"Life is something you control, people come in and take them away, you sneak up and take theirs." She was becoming disturbed by the eerie way he was speaking. "One for another without reason or care knowing that you have to take theirs before they get yours. But why? Who says you're worth any more than them? The good are always first to go. It's never more than scum against trash in the end. So why? In that split second that determines whether it's you or them why do you think your life is more valuable?"

"Because it's yours?" Though he was looking out his eyes seemed empty and she was having a hard time trying to figure out what he meant.

"Not once you've killed someone.  
>Suddenly they're there with you every second of every day and you realize..." She watched as he reeled something in, playing mindlessly with the kittens ear as he chewed on his lip.<p>

It had to be five minutes of her trying to figure out if that had been straight what he meant or double talk when he let out a low, "I would have been better off dead."

It sounded like he was admitting he had given up on his life, was waiting for death and she couldn't think of a damn thing to say.  
>Her head was spinning with everything she'd learned today and to top it off she still didn't know what to do about Steve.<p>

She sat there for a little longer not wanting to leave immediately after what she had just heard but after too long of a silence that was beginning to creep her out she did and seconds later was met by Hardison. "So what did he say?"

Parker and Eliot were both to the point people and her taking so long was suspicious.

"Not much. He talked a bit about free falls and death but I didn't really understand it."

"He was talking about killing people?" If this day hadn't just gotten more unnerving.

"More like how people kill each other and how they'd just be better off killing themselves." She was still confused with how literal he had been but that had been what she deciphered.

"Did you just say Eliot thinks he should kill himself!" Somebody please tell him he had heard wrong. First domestic abuse and now suicidal thoughts, maybe they didn't know this but he was not a damn therapist!

"No, just that he'd be better off dead."

"Oh that's much better!" He had already went off in search of Nate hoping that Parker had misunderstood Eliot. Things were getting too shaky for his liking and he was gonna make sure Nate knew his job was to fix it. "Nate we got problems man." It was upstairs of all places that they found him.

"Yeah Steve isn't getting fed." Parker threw in. As long as Nate was going to fix things why not Steve's situation.

"Steve?" Nate questioned. He had nearly been jumped coming out of the bathroom.

"My kitty, her mother wont fee-"

"Not now Parker!" Did she not understand that her cat was the least of their worries right now?

Her "Sorry" was mostly sarcastic as they followed Nate toward the staircase, Hardison herding them into the spare bedroom before he could start down the stairs.

"Would you care to explain?" Nate spoke impatiently as Hardison closed them all in the room. He didn't appreciate being manhandled.

"Me and Parker wanna know what's going on." He crossed his arms as he leaned against the door.

"It isn't any of your concern." He had thought he'd made that clear but apparently not.

"Not my concern! You're walking around like you just went a round with Tyson and Parker says Eliot ain't much better!" Parker nodded her agreement and he couldn't help but think it was about time.

"How so?" Nate asked her as he kept an eye on Hardison. He had gained a little more backbone with his opinions since learning of their relationship but there was still a line and Nate would let it be more than known if he dared cross it.

"He didn't seem like he was there." Parker spoke as she hopped onto a spare chest of drawers. "He was talking and I don't know if this'll make sense to you but it was like he wasn't saying anything. The words were there they just couldn't grasp a meaning." She had confused herself but it looked like Nate understood.

"He was like that with me too."

She recognized his furrowed brow as the one he usually made while he was forming a plan so she did what she usually would and gave him any other details she had that might be pertinent. "It was like only half of him was there and aware. I don't even think he knew he'd been bleeding until after I pointed it out."

"He's bleeding!" The echo was fierce and the emotions were mixed.

"Not anymore. I didn't get a good look but the blood was dry and I'd say it had been that way for at least an hour."

"You see Nate! You're bruised, he's bleeding, and we're in the middle of it!"

"You are not in the middle of anything." Nate disagreed. He had his own problems to sort through and he didn't need Hardison inventing more.

"Well then I'm putting myself there! Something's goin' on and one way or another I'm gonna figure it out!" Nate's look was challenging but he stole some nerve and met it. "Don't think I wont turn this house into an episode of Intervention!" Parker wrinkled her nose with a mumbled, "I hate that show" as she continued to watch the others.

"I told you it was nothing because it isn't anything.  
>You can put your ridiculous ideas and crazy theories right back where you got them from because right now they couldn't be farther from the truth.<br>Now I'll continue the favor and forget about this," If Hardison kept it up he might just have to blot the day out completely. "and Parker... just go bother a vet."

"Which one?" This is why she needed Eliot, he'd know these things.

"You can't just tell me I'm off and not why.  
>You keep on saying it's nothing but how do you expect me to believe that when you're marked with proof?" Hardison interrupted Parker as he kept his position in front of the door.<p>

"How do you expect me to tell you what I don't know Hardison?" Nate threw right back.

"How don't you know?" Hardison was the one to speak but Parker looked just as curious.

"Because I'm not in his head! I don't know what's going through his mind, what he's thinking, I don't know!"

"What went on? Why did you end up fighting?"

"We weren't..." Why Hardison insisted they had to have been fighting was beyond him but he ignored his annoyance and moved on. "Maybe it was a nightmare, possibly a flashback. I'm not sure but I'm telling you it was nothing because it was nothing. It has nothing to do with me and it sure doesn't involve you and I think it would be best if we all just give him some time to shake it off." He had other plans but those were the ones he expected them to follow.

"He was at your throat!  
>That ain't nothing when the man's trained to kill!" He knew Nate wasn't being completely open.<p>

"HARDISON!" Parker jumped. It was louder and harsher than she had ever heard from Nate and it was easy to tell he was angry. "I'm done and unless you want to be too I suggest you move."

It was with a tight lip and a sour expression of his own that Hardison opened the door stepping aside.  
>He hadn't meant to sound accusing.<br>Eliot was a brother, there was no doubt about that but what he had done was something that just wasn't sitting well with him.  
>Now he knew it hadn't been under clear thought but that for him seemed even worse.<br>If the man he thought he knew could hurt one he was supposed to love then did he really know him at all?

"You called Eliot a killer."

"I didn't mean it like that Parker."

It was a few minutes of silence before they heard the back door slam and a look out the window showed Nate moving uneasily through the yard.

It was only then as he watched Nate walking down below that he started thinking about how he must be feeling.  
>To have someone you trust attack you so suddenly, it would have to be unnerving in the very least and he realized that he had been doing nothing more than rubbing it in.<p>

Apologizing was the next thought that came to mind but Nate's foot connecting with a garbage can told him it was probably best to let him cool off first. "Come on," He took Parker's hands pulling her to stand. "lets go help Steve."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: It's been so long that I feel like I may have lost hold of their voices which I hope isn't true!  
><strong>**  
>Have I been painting either Nate or Eliot with a really feminine brush?<br>I don't like it when one of the men in a homosexual relationship is really made out to be overly emotional and even "girly" and I hope I haven't been doing so.**

**I don't know... but you let me know if I've been doing that because it really peeves me.**

**Anyway,  
>What is going on now?<strong>

**Hardison is having a freak out and Parker is just trying to keep boundaries... Eliot is... God knows what he's doing right now ... and poor Nate. Even when he seems to be winning he ends up losing.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

He didn't know how Eliot spent the day and he felt like an ass for it.

He had gone out back in search of a moment for himself and had apparently fallen asleep soon after he had finally sat down.  
>Parker had woken him not long before the sun began to set and he had stayed out there until long after it went down.<p>

It was nearly eleven by the time he peered in on Eliot to find him sleeping on his side of the bed.  
>That made him feel worse as consciously or not Eliot was obviously looking for him and the best he had found was his pillow.<br>After that he pulled the door closed again going to the kitchen for what would be his first meal of the near ended day.

Three hours later found him on the couch flipping through infomercials but what should have been something mindless and relaxing was full of guilt instead because it was nothing more than a stall tactic to avoid Eliot.

His mind was a mess.  
>If it wasn't throwing him questions that could no longer be pushed away it was painting vivid pictures of the night before.<p>

With the questions he didn't know enough and still knew too much to simply let it go and that scared him because he had been shut out for less and he didn't want to be pushed away.

The memories were why he had yet to go back in the bedroom.  
>One look at the bed and he was suddenly pinned there again not being able to breathe and just knowing that the last thing he was going to see were dark dank eyes filled with hate and disgust.<p>

As much as it angered him to think it on some level Eliot had been trying to kill him and there was the fear that if he lay in there with him tonight he could very likely try again, could even possibly succeed.

He wanted his Eliot back but as he got to thinking about how to make that happen his devious mind supplied him with the thought that maybe his had been fake. Maybe all of that charade was falling away and he was getting his first real glimpse at the actual Eliot Spencer.

Had Eliot been broken so badly that he had to steal pieces from others to be complete again?  
>Would he actually have made himself into someone else because he couldn't remember who he was supposed to be?<br>And what Nate found to be most important.  
>Would he ever be able to have Eliot hover over him without being reminded of that night, without thinking that he just might do it again?<p>

The thought angered him just that much more and it was finally right before three that he tossed the channel changer and went back toward the bedroom.

Why couldn't he trust that Eliot was just having a bad day and move on?  
>Eliot trusted him not to be out there drinking his problems away like a fish, and he wasn't, thanks to Eliot.<p>

Sophie had wanted him to quit just like that.  
>Without care of his reasoning just because it was bad and sure he knew that, but Eliot knew too.<p>

Eliot knew enough, had probably seen enough to know why a man would just turn to the bottle and he hadn't forced Nate away from his.  
>Instead he went drinking with him.<br>He made him interact with others when all he really wanted to do was find a dark place to hide.  
>He took him out where most of those nights would end up in laughter and eventually he associated his drinking with Eliot and a good time.<p>

To say just like that he was cured would be a lie but Eliot was usually there when he needed that outlet.  
>He would start an argument if Nate needed to blow off steam.<br>He would be the voice of reason if he felt like he needed something to clear his head.  
>And Eliot would offer himself knowing full well that on that night he'd be nothing more than a distraction from memories.<p>

The method wasn't full proof but he knew two things.  
>One, he hadn't had a drink since the day Eliot got discharged from the hospital and two, he didn't know how many days that had been because he hadn't bothered counting.<p>

Eliot didn't make him feel like he needed a certain amount of days under his belt to be good enough.  
>He had already tried that and it seemed like keeping track only made your next failure seem that much bigger and why do that when you had someone at home that didn't judge, who would simply get the broom and offer the dust pan instead of leaving you on your knees with the pieces.<p>

Eliot was good to him like that.

So why was he still standing heavily in the hallway?

That little voice in the back of his head said it was because he was a selfish coward and mostly he agreed but he told it to shut up anyway and with a deep breath he opened the door.

What he had been expecting he didn't know but Eliot was still sleeping and that alone was a testament to how exhausted he must be.  
>He didn't bother with a light as he walked straight into the bathroom closing the door and leaning against it with a heavy sigh.<br>He hadn't wanted a good look at Eliot.  
>Surely he had caused himself some damage as well and he didn't know how he would handle seeing it.<p>

It was another minute of him wondering what he'd see in there before he ran a hand along the wall eventually coming to a light switch and flipping it.

The medicine cabinet was a complete disaster, most of its contents in the sink, and the shelves nearly falling out.

Moving over the towels that were now everywhere, including the bathtub, he reached out to close it expecting his reflection but not the crack across the mirror.

That did nothing to change his image though as he finally took the time to inspect his neck.  
>The bruising had darkened, that much he knew, it held a greenish hue around his adams apple and over all he'd say was fairly consistent.<br>In the least he could say Eliot did know how to apply torture-some pressure as he felt how deep it went every time he swallowed.

Ironically enough he couldn't help but think he needed a hair cut as he pulled the door back open, fixing the shelves, and started placing their things back inside.

When Eliot had made this mess he didn't know but he assumed it had been sometime after Parker's visit.

The soap dish was in pieces as was the toothbrush holder and though he didn't know where Eliot's toothbrush was he knew he didn't want his back having found it behind the toilet.

The bathroom wasn't large, he believed their room had originally been an office or perhaps a den, and Eliot had just turned it into a bedroom and added a bathroom. No it wasn't large but that didn't mean it wasn't taking some time to clean.

After all the glass he had picked up his fingers held a nick or two and he knew he'd have to mop come morning.  
>The towels were simply thrown in the tub.<br>They hadn't brought much with them and though he had gone and bought a few things they were probably running low on clothes so he'd just have to do the laundry tomorrow as well.

A last look and a reminder to throw out the bath mat and he was shutting off the light and pulling open the door.  
>All of that had been a distraction and he had appreciated it but now as he looked over to him his thoughts were back on Eliot.<br>He hadn't bothered with trying to be silent while cleaning the bathroom and why Eliot hadn't gotten up was beyond him.

Normally he would have been in the doorway of the bathroom telling him exactly why what he was doing was wrong but it was probably safe to say things weren't normal anymore.

Shaking himself from those thoughts he went to the dresser to grab a t-shirt and some pajama pants.  
>He took his time in changing and was contemplating whether or not he should brush his teeth when he reminded himself that that was no longer an option, he'd have to buy a new toothbrush.<p>

Nope, there were no other available distractions, though he did make removing his watch one, and he was left to decide if he'd be sleeping on Eliot's half of the bed like he was his or if he'd be tucking his tail and going back to the couch.

During these thoughts he got a feeling that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he quickly turned from where he had been facing the dresser to see what caused it. It was hard to see much more than the shape of things even with his eyes having adjusted and the glow of the alarm clock wasn't helping to show anything other than an empty corner but he just knew in that moment Eliot was looking at him.

Eliot was waiting to see what he'd do.  
>He was giving him an opportunity of escape by not saying anything and once again he felt like an ass.<br>He didn't know who was stupider, him for wanting to leave or Eliot for giving him a chance to do such a thing.  
>If he walked out that door now it would be as if he was walking out on them and that wasn't something he could do, not with how much he had invested.<p>

He took one last measuring glance to where he knew the door to be before moving to the bed and sitting on the edge with caution.

After everything sure he wanted to curl up with Eliot but in the same sense after everything how could he not be wary of Eliot.

He was just as careful with getting one of the pillows from him and with a few measured breaths he stretched out on the side that would be his for the night.

"It's alright..." Eliot sounded apologetic as he readjusted his pillow and Nate hated that such a simple movement had nearly caused him to flinch. "I'm scared of me too."

It hurt.  
>There was nothing in those words other than simple acceptance and he couldn't find his voice to deny something that for the moment was quite true. There was a drift building between them and he could literally feel it as Eliot moved farther away.<p>

With another deep breath he moved closer until there was absolutely no space between them and then dropped an arm around Eliot's waist pulling him even closer. He didn't worry about injuries as he continued adjusting and Eliot readjusting until they were comfortable.

Was he still uneasy?  
>Yes, but with his arm around Eliot he could feel that he was just as much if not more so and that helped him to calm some.<p>

They had hit a rough patch and as he breathed in familiar warmth he knew that even though this time it might take a while to smooth things out space was the last thing they needed.

* * *

><p><strong>2,OOO words and only 7 were spoken, LOL<strong>

**This was a chapter just for Nate, I like humanizing him. (Just wrote him out another humbling part that will probably appear in chapter 50-ish which is funny since I don't have the chapter written just that part)**

**Hopefully you enjoyed!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

"So I started on the guest list..."

"Already?" Aaron hadn't even made it to the kitchen table before Ashlee started back up with the wedding talk.

"Yes already!" Ashlee ignored his disinterest as she set a plate in front of him. "Now like I was saying. I started on the guest list and I need to know how good of friends you and Nate are."

"We really aren't remember, I met him the same day as you." Aaron spoke around a mouth full of pancake.

"Right?" That had been what she thought at first but then when Sarah dropped her off he had spoken like they'd known each other for some time. That had her believing she had simply misunderstood but now he was saying they weren't friends again and she was confused. "Well anyway... how do you stand on him being there? If you want him there I need to know because I'm trying to work out how many invitations we'll need to have done."

"Is this the part where I tell you, whatever you want dear?" Aaron didn't like Nate being brought into their conversation because no matter what he could say it left him feeling like he'd either be lying to Ashlee or betraying his brother.

"Seriously Aaron!  
>I want invitations to go out first thing so people can R.S.V.P and I can get some sort of an idea what the scale of things is going to be.<br>I don't want to be planning a wedding for a couple hundred people and only have a few dozen show."

"First off we don't know a couple hundred people and two, how are we sending out invitations when we don't even have a location yet?" Aaron asked as he got up to get himself some juice, he wasn't much of a coffee person.

"Yes we do! We're getting married in my parents church." That was a no brainer. "And a hundred people adds up really quick.  
>If I invite twenty people and you invite twenty and each of them brings their plus one that's nearly a hundred right there.<br>So that's why I'm asking, Do you like him enough that you want to guarantee he has a spot by giving him his own personal invitation or are we just going to assume that Eliot will bring him as his plus one?"

"What?" Aaron nearly choked on his juice at those words.

"Well if they get invited separately that's four potential spots that'll be full but if they're coming together than why send out two separate invites.  
>How serious is your brother about him anyway?<br>Have they been going out a while or is there the possibility that they wont even be together by that time?  
>If that's the case though it probably would be better to let your brother decide if he should come or not cause it'd probably be weird for him if they split and then he ends up stuck in that awkward Ex moment." She had been sharing the thoughts as they came but Aaron's slack jaw had her stopping. "What?"<p>

"You just suggested that they're..." He couldn't find his words, how had she?

"Aren't they?" That had been the vibe she picked up but now Aaron had her nervous it might not be so.

"Yeah... but who told you?" He'd be furious at Sarah if she did that to Eliot.

"It was kind of obvious." She hadn't known it was a secret but now she could honestly say it had been poorly kept.

"Are you suggesting my brother comes off gay?" He found himself insulted personally by that.

"I don't even know what that means Aaron!  
>Look.. if I'm not supposed to know we'll pretend like I don't but what else was I going to think.<br>They went to church together, they barely left the others side at Sarah's, and honestly did you not see all the different looks they were giving each other."

Another big clue had been Nate actually staying the entire night.  
>She figured he had to have been in a similar situation as her because she could tell you right now if it wasn't for Aaron she would have left after giving his parents a few choice words. "And even if I hadn't noticed any of that I'm not so stupid that I'd miss the fact that they're obviously living together right now. I just saw that for myself two days ago."<p>

"You haven't known an Eliot that isn't gay." Aaron stated with interest. He wondered if there was a difference in the feelings of acceptance he had and hers of never knowing his brother as anything but.

"Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?" She didn't understand but after some replaying a good possibility dawned on her. "Aaron is this something new?"

Aaron nodded.  
>He figured since Ashlee had all this figured on her own he really hadn't let Eliot down in any way. "Eliot doesn't share.<br>We didn't have it the best at home when we were younger and we didn't deal with it well." He knew Sarah still pretended like that life hadn't been hers and he had just barely stopped with doing any and everything he could to set his father off.

"Mom and Dad were too self absorbed to actually attempt parenting so Eliot decided he'd step up and take the role.  
>He's always been a playful person but taking on that kind of responsibility left him almost unable to allow himself to show anything else. We joke and jab all the time but there's an air of seriousness to it, to him that I've never not known.<br>He was a constant for me and Sarah and I've just always associated him with that.  
>He put all of his effort into us and I think the price he paid was losing that sense of self.<br>He closed himself off so he could handle the day to day trouble we had and now he's having trouble with trying to be open again."

"Well you're not making it worse are you?" She had heard a few things about how things were for him growing up but she never pushed because all Aaron did was go distant on her.

"That would be Sarah. See Eliot didn't tell either of us that he was bisexual, I just happened to stumble on to it at Easter and Nate accidentally let the cat out of the bag when we went that first time to the hospital. It ticked her off and she's just too stubborn to let it go but the thing is Eliot's just as stubborn. He knows Sarah thinks he's in the wrong, we both know that she isn't going to get over herself until Eliot breaks out the sweet talk, and he knows she's fishing for an apology but he wont give it to her. Getting him to admit any kind of wrong doing just isn't gonna happen."

"Well I don't think being bisexual is something he should be sorry for." Ashlee sounded very opinionated about that as she grabbed the syrup and milk and headed to the fridge.

"Neither do I Ash but right now I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you what Sarah's thinking." He hadn't spoken to either of them since that day and he'd admit that probably wasn't the best thing.

"Well she's obviously not.  
>If your brother is really as closed off as you say and this is the way she starts acting when ya'll actually learn something about him then he ain't gonna ever feel like sharing again."<p>

"I know and I tried telling her all of this but I don't think anyone's listening right now." He stood as he lifted his dishes and moved to place them in the sink.

"Well don't worry about it too much babe, I'm sure things will work themselves out."

"Yeah.." Aaron sighed as he squeezed the hand that was wrapped around his waist. A glance at the clock told him he needed to get going and he reminded Ashlee of that. "Hey, aren't you going to be late for a root canal?"

"Not that I know of." Ashlee denied as she straightened out her purple scrubs. "I believe that I'll be helping with a twelve year old's braces when I get in."

"Sounds like fun." Were Aaron's words but his facial expression said differently.

"Get out of here!" She laughed as she gave him a playful push to the back door.

"Love you."

"Me too but that's not gettin' you out of helping with the guest list when you get back tonight."

Shaking his head at that Aaron offered a simple, "Yes dear." He was sure it was only one of the many that would be coming.

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"I swear it's a million degrees out there." Hardison huffed through the door as he stopped to adjust to the change in temperature.

"It's 102." Parker spoke absently from where she was sitting on the couch with his computer.

"What are you doing?"

"Telling me what everyone has been up to." It was Sophie's voice he heard as he moved over to Parker.

"Hey Sophie!" He greeted as he sat next to Parker and she rearranged the laptop so the webcam had them both in its sight.

"Hello Hardison."

"Sophie was just telling me all about the time she spent in Italy." Parker sounded like she'd be more interested in reading the dictionary.

"Did you tell her about your cats?"

"All six of them." Sophie affirmed with the same disinterest.

"That's cool." Hardison hummed as he looked toward the hall. "Have you heard anything?"

"Not since yesterday." Parker answered. She'd been thinking about knocking but had decided against it.

"What haven't you heard?"

"From Nate or Eliot." Hardison answered Sophie.

"Aren't you still living together?" She hadn't spoken to them in a good few days but surely she hadn't missed that much.

"Yeah they just haven't come out of their room yet." He glanced back that way for a moment before his attention was returned to the girls.

"What's with the worry I'm hearing?"

"Something's off with them."

"HARDISON!" Parker was clear in her feelings. That wasn't their business and it sure wasn't something to share.

"Off how?" Came concern from Sophie.

"They've been," but Parker cut off anything he could possibly say as she quickly shut the computer.

"What did you do that for?"

"Are you seriously telling me you didn't find anything wrong with what you were doing?" She reprimanded as she slid the computer onto the table.

"I was looking for help with this situation!" He didn't believe it, he was being yelled at by Parker.

"I thought we agreed we were going to stay out of it! Not bring Sophie into it!"

"Well that was before I heard them rearranging their bedroom last night!  
>I've already heard them in like three serious arguments and after yesterday I don't want to wait and see if the fourth is fatal!"<p>

"That is so back stabbing!  
>You're all like 'Yo ya'll cool' to their face but then you're all eager to sit on ELIOT'S couch and put their problems out there like nothing!" She had stood long ago too furious to stay sitting.<p>

"That isn't true!" He felt attacked.

"Well that's how you're acting!"

"I'm acting like a concerned friend!"

"You're not the-" Parker started but was cut off by a near panicked, "HARDISON!"

One look at each other and they were both racing to see what could have Nate so flustered.

Hardison stopped in the now open doorway not even letting Parker in to see what was going on as he took a look himself.

"You wanna help!"

Parker pushed past Hardison to see Nate propping up a nearly drugged looking Eliot.  
>He was clearly in the middle of a gagging fit and Parker barely stopped herself from stepping in the vomit by the side of the bed.<p>

"He's burning up." Nate spoke absently as he did his best to pull Eliot into a sitting position.  
>Sleep hadn't come easy and hearing Eliot choking had quickly coaxed him out of it.<p>

"He's shivering." The contradiction was disturbing to her as she pulled away the soiled sheet.

"Do we have a thermometer?" Hardison asked as he got his head together.

All of this and Eliot was looking as if he'd simply roll over and go back to bed if allowed, he sure didn't seem aware.

"In the bathroom." Nate near waved off as he tried to get some sort of reasonable response out of Eliot.

"What's wrong with him?" Parker asked as they received something more gurgled than mumbled that could have possibly been, 'tired'.

"Eliot" Nate didn't have an answer so he didn't bother with giving one. "Come on Eliot, we're going to get up."

"Here" Hardison had found his search to take longer than expected but he quickly passed the item over.

The six second wait seemed like hours as he stared at an Eliot that was quite literally out of it. "We're going to the hospital." Nate was off the bed and slipping shoes on his feet within seconds.

Parker didn't question it as she and Hardison helped to nearly lift Eliot.  
>The only thing she did make known was her stern, "I'm driving."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Another bump but I couldn't resist :P  
>Also I recently started a new job which might throw off updates (I doubt it will be too bad but just in case)<strong>

**Let me know what you think because I just couldn't resist the angst!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter Thirty-Eight**

_"He doesn't care.  
><em>_Tell him Eliot." Jimmy laughed near hysterically._

_"Tell him how you've been using him the same way he decided to use you." He smiled over to Eliot who had a face splitting grin of his own as he twirled a rope._

_"Tell him what's gonna happen for tryin' to pull one over on us."_

_With an almost evil smile Eliot near pounced on Nate pinning him to the wall with an arm to his throat. "I'm gonna make you regret the day you were born boy."_

Nate's eyes flew open with a gasp of air as he tried to catch breath that hadn't been taken.  
>He hadn't given thought to Jimmy since November and he knew that dreams of him and Eliot tag teaming him couldn't be good.<br>"Have you heard anything yet?" Parker was staring at him as if he'd grown three heads and he figured it best to move her focus.

"No" They had taken Eliot back after another temperature check showed that his was damn close to 105 and they hadn't heard anything since.

"Where's Hardison?" There was a bit of anxiety bubbling in his gut but he didn't plan on tampering with it.

"He went back to the house, he said he was going to clean up." Parker barely finished as she turned her head to footsteps.

"Mr. Elliott" Dr. Torlyn hadn't been the one to take Eliot back but obviously he had been called in somewhere along the way as he was standing right there.

"What are we looking at?" Nate asked as he stood.

He would be first choice with his bruised neck, well worn pajamas, and missing socks but the doctor was curtious enough to avoid mentioning any of that. "At first glance the flu was looking like the culprit but a better inspection says kidney infection."

"Is that serious?" Parker found herself playing with her pockets button as she listened to every word.

"It can be life threatening if not treated properly and on time."

"You just asked him about all of this." Nate spoke more to himself as he tried to figure if Eliot had been deceitful. "Why wouldn't he have said anything?"

"It's very likely he didn't realize.

I believe we're looking at one that's been about nine days in the making and between all of the surprises that have appeared, the tweaking of his pain meds, and dealing with just the general after effects of being hit by a car he might have over looked the symptoms that were appearing.

That or he assumed they were from something else seeing as he's already been vomiting from the headaches and his back is already aching." Dr. Torlyn explained to ease the worry he was hearing.

"Or he could simply be overwhelmed.  
>There's that small part in all of us that would like to believe if we turn our backs on something it doesn't exist, perhaps he was testing the theory. No matter because it doesn't, what we need to do now is make sure he gets better."<p>

"Is he going to be alright?" Those were the only words she cared to hear.

"How is he?" Nate too pressed.

"Right now we're working on breaking that fever but he seems to be resting comfortably.  
>We've got him on an antibiotic drip and tests have proven that there's no bacteria in the blood stream which is great news."<p>

"So when can he go home?" His news could be the best but she didn't care about it if it didn't mean Eliot would be going home with them.

"I want to keep him for a few days.  
>There doesn't look like there'll be any lasting effects from this but after everything he's been through I'd like to keep him close to make sure we don't have ourselves a ripple effect."<p>

"When can I see him?" Were Nate's next words.

"I believe he's being moved to a room as we speak so you'll have to give it a few but it's the same floor as before you'll just be making a left at the elevator instead of a right. If I'm not mistaken it's 2..21 but I'd confirm it with the nurse first."

"Thanks doc."

"I'll see ya later." He waved off as he started toward the direction of his next patient.

"Will he get sicker if they don't break his fever?"

"The fever isn't the problem Parker." Nate explained as they moved to the elevator.

"Then why do they need to break it?" She'd rather take the stairs but still she stayed with Nate.

"Well fevers are usually the good guys but they're easily tempted.  
>They'll have more control over it by keeping it on a short leash rather than letting it run free." The thought immediately reminded him of his team.<p>

"Do we all have to split up if you and Eliot do?" She spoke casually but he could see the nerves as she chewed on her bottom lip.

"How do you feel about a two man team?" He was just as casual with his words as he leaned against the wall with folded arms.  
>Her look was beyond quizzical though so he furthered his meaning. "I don't know what the future holds but I know I'll be working and as long as you want there'll be a spot for you. It's like I've always said, you're more than welcome to leave but that also goes for staying." His words were barely finished before the elevator doors were opening and they were stepping out.<p>

"A dog is only as fast as his bum leg." What the? Where that came from or what it meant he didn't know but she seemed content with her reasoning.

"A room number for Spencer Elliott please." Nate didn't pay much attention to the nurse as he waited for the information.

"221" She answered with the same disinterest.

"Thank you" Nate barely offered as he followed Parker down the hall.

It wasn't long before they were entering another private room once again not sure of what they'd find. "It's weird."

"What?" Nate asked as they stared at the figure on the bed, this rooms set up was the complete opposite of what the lasts had been.

"Him sleeping. It's weird." There had been a few times where she had thought she'd caught him doing so but his eyes quickly snapped open as he reprimanded her for trying to sneak up on him.

"People sleep Parker." Something he hadn't been doing much of.  
>Between his worry over Eliot's health, their near constant relationship struggles, and now this infection he was being spread too thin and he didn't know how much more he could take. What he did know was if he didn't get things sorted soon Eliot's health wouldn't be the only one to worry about, he was already feeling the fatigue dragging him down.<p>

"Now what are we doing?" Loyalty kept her close but after 41 days of essentially doing nothing her fingers were getting itchy.

"Will you stay here?" He questioned instead as she settled into what looked to be a pullout, hopefully this time they had indeed been that lucky.

"You're leaving?" That was a shock.

"Only for an hour or two." He wanted to change into something decent and perhaps gain some perspective on things because this in no way changed the fact that Eliot had been at his throat and that was not something he could simply ignore.

"'kay" She shrugged him off as she followed the fresh tubing into Eliot's arm with her eyes. It wasn't like she had much else to do anyway.

"Alright then." With that he left the room beginning to make his way back to the house.

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He had already mopped out the entire bedroom and decidedly the bathroom since he had already been at it.

Had thrown out the over sheet which had been an absolute mess and had the rest of the bedding already washed and in the drier, a load of towels awaiting their turn.

He wasn't that big of a cleaner but after their argument that morning he preferred his current task of making the bed to sitting awkwardly in a waiting room with Parker.

He was struggling to get a pillow in its case when he heard the front door open and was moving to see who was there.  
>The fact that he heard it ruled out Parker and that had him moving cautiously as he rounded the corner.<p>

"Nate?" His caution turned to suspicion as Nate pushed the door closed. "Is everything alright?"

"More or less." Hardison had taken the car leaving him to wait for a taxi but the delay had actually been a good thing as he came to a few conclusions. It was too early to know if they'd all be good but in the very least he had come to them. "Parker's sitting with him now."

"So he's staying in the hospital then?" He followed Nate toward the bedroom.

"He wont be happy when he finds out but they're making him stay for at least the weekend." And he was going to use that advantage.

"It's that serious?" He stayed in the doorway as Nate collected clothes from both the closet and the dresser.

"He's got a kidney infection but they're giving him antibiotics for it right now.  
>Hopefully with some meds and a couple of days this will be one more thing to put behind us." That was all he offered as he took his things and headed to the upstairs bathroom where he'd have all the necessities to shower.<p>

It only took seconds to strip once the door was closed but the mirror quickly grabbed his attention and kept him from stepping into the tub. He didn't know who the man looking back at him was but the bruising and hair that was nearly too long to wear had nothing to do with why he was so unrecognizable. A reflection was all it was but in no way could that possibly be what he had become.

One last distasteful glance and he was soon under the showers head attempting in vain to wash away any thought or emotion with the dirt and grime.

He couldn't do this.  
>Eliot had left him in search of self respect which he understood but it had been nearly two months since he'd gotten back and he'd yet to really return.<p>

That first week had been one of the best they had ever had but even then he knew something was off, he'd just chosen to ignore it and after Eliot took off it became that much easier as he convinced himself that they were simply readjusting to one another.

Something was there though.  
>It was destroying all of their good efforts as it continued to build on everything they had accomplished and as it continued to grow between them he could no longer deny its existence.<p>

He didn't want to.  
>Every day he was met with a little less of the Eliot he knew and as he kept losing pieces of him he felt some of his own also beginning to disappear. He was losing control and that was something that outright scared him.<p>

If anything would end their relationship it would be him because as much as it would hurt to do so at least it would be under his terms.  
>He wouldn't have to watch and wait for whatever was eating at Eliot to take him away completely.<p>

It was another thought that he did his best to avoid as he pushed his hair back, because it wasn't something he was going to allow to happen.

Water had as usual made its way into his eyes but today the sting was welcome as Eliot's words sounded through the bathroom. 'I'm scared of me too.'

Scared of what?

What he was capable of?

What he might become? It didn't make sense.

Had he been scared?  
>Yes, but it had been more of the situation than Eliot himself.<p>

Another thing that didn't make sense was his pleading with an Itza.  
>Who was she and why did Eliot feel so bad about her?<br>Where was she?  
>Had he hurt her?<p>

"Nate?" A loud knock pulled him from his thoughts and he soon realized with a start that the water had gone more than cold. "You alright in there man?"

How long he must have been in there for Hardison to be worried he didn't know but it had him shutting the shower off with an, "I'm fine", as he pulled the curtain back and reached for a towel.

"Cool" That sounded awkward and soon he heard Hardison going down the stairs and he went back to his thoughts as he kept himself just enough in the present to shave.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Hey Nate. About yesterday," Hardison met him at the bottom of the stairs with a serious tone. "I just wanted to say tha-"

"It's fine Hardison." He heard an apology coming on and he didn't want it. "You were worried and it was with reason. I understand where you're coming from and you have the right to feel or have certain opinions. The same way I have the say on whether I agree with them or not."

"Alright then." That had nearly sounded like Nate was saying he was right but with that last line he realized he had just been nicely told off, or better yet where to stick his opinions.

"I appreciate you cleaning in here." Nate's tone was light, almost too light as he grabbed the truck keys from the dresser and slid on his watch.

"It's no problem." Hardison tried not to sound suspicious but Nate's attitude seemed awfully cheery for the day and he doubted the shower had been that much of a help.

He watched as Nate packed a bag he assumed was for Eliot with some sweats and a pair of gym shorts, a few different shirts that varied in sleeve length, and even a beanie.

With all of the casual clothes being pulled out he finally noticed how dressed Nate seemed to be.  
>He had on a near blinding white button down that did an excellent job of covering the bruising on his neck, slacks that were near a cream with there tan tone, and toffee tinted loafers he had just slipped on.<p>

"Are you going back to the hospital?" Usually Nate was pretty layed back with the clothes he wore but right now as he slipped on the matching jacket he looked like he was ready for a con.

"I'm going to steal a memory." And just like that he made that signature exit leaving Hardison to wonder what the hell he meant.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Where have you been?" Parker met him outside of the hospital room looking like she had been waiting a good while.

"Gee mom, I didn't realize I had a curfew." He snarked at Parker's crossed arms and tapping foot.

"You said you'd be back four hours ago!" Nate was always back before he said he'd be and when he hadn't shown after his two hour mark she had gotten anxious. After another four hours passed she was just plain annoyed. "The doctor came back and there were at least a dozen nurses through there and... and you cut your hair?" It was something she just barely noticed as Nate set himself for her rant. "He gets put back in the hospital and you go and get a haircut?"

He ran a hand through his now shortened hair at her accusing tone.  
>The longer it was the curlier it got and after pushing it back for the millionth time, much the same way Eliot did, he knew it was past time to cut it. "How is he?"<p>

"Quiet" She had tried talking to him after he woke but hadn't gotten much. "He spoke with the doctor but that was about it. They agreed on trying something a little more aggressive so they switched up his IV drip but he hasn't said much since then. They gave him something for nausea too, "She was trying to stay on point but it was weird looking at him. "he's been sleeping on and off since."

More like he had jerked awake a few times but she had respectfully ignored it, especially the last time when he had nearly jumped out of bed gasping.

"Is he sleeping now?" Nate looked past her and to the closed door. It wasn't like he didn't care about all of this, because he did, probably too much and that was the problem. If he listened any more he was going to start questioning and hovering and he just couldn't do that if he was gonna keep his mind set and focused on the bigger picture.

"No. The nu-"

"You can go back in now." The nurse Parker had been trying to mention interrupted as she stepped out of the room pulling the door closed behind her.

"Thank you" Nate waved the woman off.

"Are you gonna stay the night?" Parker didn't bother moving as she waited for a reply. He just gave a nod with his eyebrow slightly raised, like the question really deserved words. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then." She could take a hint and that had been her cue to leave.

Besides she had plans.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

We're leaving." Hardison nearly fell off his chair at the words spoken in his ear. The only sounds that had been made in the house for over an hour were from the t.v. and his commentary on a certain captain.

"Damn woman! Try warning somebody!"

"Lets go." She shut off his t.v. and left the room moving toward her own.

"Where?" He followed her into the bedroom watching as she pulled a bag from the closet. "Parker, no.." He knew what was in there just like he knew what the glint in her eye meant. "we can not go stealing things in Eliot's backyard like that."

"Who said we were stealing anything," She threw him a bag of his own as her devious smirk only grew. "and who says we're staying here?"

Awkward disappeared as he caught her drift and a smile of his own began to grow. "Girl, I like your thinking."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The plan was to go in there.  
>It really was the first step of the plan but he couldn't bring himself to do so.<br>There was no back up this time and if things went wrong it would end a lot worse than falling on his ass.

He was pacing the hallway, ignoring the looks as he convinced himself to go for broke, but just as quickly reminded himself that he'd be better safe than sorry. Essentially he was screwed either way.

He couldn't do this.  
>He wouldn't.<p>

It just wasn't working.

With a deep breath he entered the room hoping to find Eliot awake.  
>He was met with a sleepy smile as he stepped into sight and it soon had him offering one of his own.<p>

God those eyes looked so unguarded and nearly ablaze with raw emotion and honestly, he just couldn't take it anymore.  
>"Eliot," There were no other options, he had to do this. "we're done."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Now don't kill me.  
>It just had to end there, I swear it did.<strong>

**Next chapter is going to be awesome and hello to all you newbies I noticed.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter Thirty-Nine**

The day had been a weird one, not to mention a complete and fuzzy blur.  
>The first thing he did remember clearly was Parker staring at him and it had been then that he really grasped that he was back in the hospital. After that he hadn't payed much mind to anything as things became a mix of doctors and drugs, nurses and nightmares.<p>

Now though he was trying to find a way to rest as his body told him to sleep but his mind told him to get up and go.  
>He wasn't sure how long ago the nurse had left but Parker hadn't returned so he figured it safe to assume she called it a night which also meant he was alone.<p>

Once upon a time it would have been welcome, he would have searched for that solitude.. but now, he searched for Nate.

They had been through a lot together, both as team members and in their relationship.  
>The ups were just as high as the downs were low and through it all Nate had been a constant.<br>He always managed to show when it absolutely and truly mattered and there was no doubt about that because just as it started to creep up he walked through the door squashing it all.

The first thing he noticed was Nate's hair and it had him smiling, it was different but it was good.  
>"Eliot," Nate's smile had vanished and with it his own.<br>He knew that tone, it was as distinctive as his moods and he knew nothing good was going to come from it. "we're done."

Immediately he wanted to excuse himself, claim to have heard wrong, but he knew he hadn't.  
>"This is about the other night isn't it?" He had done wrong and he knew it and maybe he should have seen this coming but he hadn't.<p>

"This is about you Eliot." He was about to ruffle feathers but it was too late to back track. "You're losing control."

"It was a mistake Nate." He tried to catch Nate's eyes with his own to show his sincerity but he was met with a cold gaze.  
>Either Nate didn't care as much as he thought or he was blocking emotion but neither mattered as his exhaustion began turning to anger. "You're just done? I don't get a second chance?"<p>

"A second chance wont fix things. What we ne-"

"It wont fix things!" Eliot snatched the words from Nate's mouth as he straightened himself up in the bed. "I mess up once and I don't get a chance to make things right? I've already let you have three and you're a cheating alcoholic!"

"Maybe I am," That was low and it hurt. "but at least you know exactly what you're dealing with. I can't even see what I'm up against."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Now he saw what this was, Nate was digging.

"Yes you do.  
>Just like you know the golden rule is to know your enemy.<br>If I can't do that than how do I do anything?  
>The only option I have right now is to retreat."<p>

"So that's it?  
>I show my cards or you're gone?" As if his head hadn't already been hurting.<p>

"What happens next time Eliot?" His voice was stern and just raised enough to get his point across.

"There wont be a next time." There shouldn't have been a first and even if it meant never sleeping again he'd make sure there were no repeats.

"Eventually there will be because you wont let me in." Nate finally sat feeling as if this was going to be an actual conversation and not wanting Eliot to feel towered over.

"I don't let you in?" Disbelief was clear.  
>Had the man not met his entire family?<p>

"You'll share memories, you've spoken about your past, but never have you opened those doors."

"And you have?"

"I've never closed them." Most of the time he wondered if things wouldn't be better off if he just tried blocking all of that out but he realized it was much like a dirty room. Even if he closed the door the mess would still be there but if he left it open he'd eventually get the motivation to clean it and then there'd be no reason to shut it up because once again it would be inhabitable.

"No I don't talk about things and no I don't like them mentioned but you've never asked either.  
>That's all you ever had to do.<br>You might get anger, hurt, pain, maybe even regret but you'd get an answer to your question.  
>You don't do that Eliot.<br>You tuck all that away and then you speak as if you're reading someone elses biography."

"So all of this is because I'm not sharing my feelings?" He couldn't help but laugh at it. "I didn't know it was that time of the month Nate."

"You can't deflect me and being an ass wont work either." This was too important to let himself be baited.

"I can't believe you right now, ...this is a load." His hand came up to rub at a brow both to gain focus and search for some understanding.

"Eliot"

"NO!  
>It's just what you want when you want it or that's the end!<br>What gives you that right?  
>Who says you get to make the rules!"<p>

"And who says I have to just stick by and watch you fall apart!  
>That I have to keep my mouth shut when I wake up in the middle of the night to find you crying!<br>When did it become okay for me not to care about you hurting?" He watched as Eliot went into a different mind set, a more protective one, and it bothered him that Eliot felt like he needed to protect himself, that he was feeling attacked.

"When did it become okay for you to use our relationship as leverage?" His knee near screamed as he pulled his legs closer to his body but he wasn't about to leave himself stretched out and unguarded at a time like this. "Cause I know you wont leave."

"If you know that then you know I wont stay." He leaned in further, Eliot was not going to distance himself from the situation. "I can't care if you don't. I can't pretend like nothing's going on while you lose yourself. If that's how it's going to be than I'm gone, I wont leave but it's luck of the draw which Nate you end up with." He shook his head the slightest as Eliot stared at him, not bothering to blink. "Cause it wont be me."

He couldn't do anything other than listen as Nate spoke like he'd been sentenced to death.

This was his fault.

He had allowed Nate to get closer than he ever should have and now he was screwed.

Did he push Nate away before he had the chance to distance himself or did he tell him and watch as he distanced himself anyway?

"You don't know what you're asking for."

"Then tell me."

Nate was looking as expectant as ever but he couldn't bring himself to answer, instead he offered a question of his own. "How did you feel when Sam died?"

The silence that followed was no greater than five minutes but it had point proven. "That's what I thought. If you wanna leave than go but don't be a hypocrite."

Nate stood, he actually stood and it pissed him off. "Go'n then, Go!"

The farthest Nate went was to sit across from him on the bed; his tone was near non existant for how sharp Eliot's had been. "Like I'd die too. I wanted to die," He had to push back the hate that crept up with his next thoughts. "but I wanted to kill that bastard more."

"And how do you feel now?" He knew it wasn't right to push but it took the focus off of him.

"Guilty.  
>He was the only good I ever did with my life and still they took his away." Speaking of his son hurt like hell but if he was going to freely it would be with Eliot.<p>

Everyone else just spoke of forgiveness and moving on but not Eliot.  
>He wouldn't do that.<br>No, he'd be right there helping him tell them what to do with that line of bull.

"I'm seeing days that he never will.  
>Doing things that he can't.<br>I'm gettin' another shot at being happy yet he had to spend his last days in misery.  
>That pisses me off!" With a deep breath he did his best to put all of that away as he steered his attention back to Eliot. "Now I'm losing you because I don't know how to help and that pisses me off too."<p>

"I promise I'm gonna deal with it Nate... please just let it be." With any other person he'd have sent them away, he would have gotten up and left himself, but he couldn't bring himself to do that with Nate.

He had actually begun showing Nate who he really was and as much as he wanted to scream at him that it was none of his business he found himself looking for compassion instead.

"I wish I could but I can't." His eyes were as sympathetic as Eliot's were pleading.

"Please don't ask me." A voice that used to be a welcome, a comfort, was now taunting and terrorizing him and vaguely he wondered if it was loud enough for Nate to hear.

"Who is she?" After all of his collecting and gathering; especially after Eliot's latest fit there was no doubt in his mind that their latest troubles centered around a woman.

"God I wish I could hate you." He couldn't bring himself to sit any longer as he grabbed his IV pole and moved to the window.

Eleven years he had kept his mouth shut, eleven years of keeping things to himself because that's where they belonged and he was going to tell Nate solely because he asked.

"Who's Itza?" Sure he had finally figured a name but what good was that without a story to go behind it.

"Maritza" It felt like the name set his tongue on fire.

"That's a pretty name." Eliot was propped against the built in storage with his back to the window but he took a minute to actually look out as he joined him.

Conversations like these were supposed to happen on wet and dreary days not with a sunset that looked like it was stolen from an Indian summer.

"Most beautiful girl in the world." His voice may have shaken but it didn't do damage to the smile that appeared. "Those eyes were so bright they'd put any sapphire to shame."

"Were?" His question seemed to break through a distant memory and with it shattered the glint in Eliot's eye.

"Orders are easy.  
>You do what you're told and it's as simple as that." His words were even but the undertones were clear.<br>"After 13 years of having to figure out what to do with just about everything I loved not having to worry about the day, no matter what it was always planned out for me."

"What did you mean were Eliot?" He knew how Eliot felt about being a soldier and he knew by the somber tone that they were building up to a pit fall.

"I had served over five years before I made that trip back home.  
>I worked with a lot of good men and we did do good." Nate watched as Eliot moved over to the recliner, it was almost as if he was trying to remind himself of that and it was devastating to hear.<p>

In the silence he removed his jacket and settled into a side chair as he watched Eliot struggle with where to pick up. "Like brothers they were..." The words were faint but fond. "a home away from home."

"Did something happen?"

"I don't know.  
>I lost contact after I took my leave and after that I didn't bother looking back."<p>

"Your commander's op." He nodded his head as he filled in what Eliot had supplied him with, it felt like an eternity ago.

"That was supposed to be cut and dry." The laugh, if you could call it that, was short and humorless. "It was about as much so as the men he got for it but like a good ole mutt I was loyal and stayed by his side."

"You said a lot of things went wrong? I take it you meant from the very beginning." He didn't want to sound as if he was puzzle searching but he kind of was. It was just the way his brain worked.

"Three men went to scout, two for the actual job and one for look out.  
>We threw ideas back and forth and spent about a week making sure everything had been covered before we had our game plan." Even now he could feel the discomfort that had been nagging at him.<p>

He had chocked it up to inexperience at the time but now he easily recognized it as signs of a double cross. "Somewhere along the line I must have drawn short straw cause I got stuck as bait... but I went with it... they'd have my back."

The subtle gritting of Eliot's teeth had Nate realizing this was probably why that distinctive 'I work alone' came to be. "All I had to do was raise a little cane in the west, I had about a dozen guys watchin' out for me on the North and South east sides. I'd bring 'em to the front they'd take 'em from the back."

"Basic distraction tactic." He just knew Eliot was about to explain otherwise.

"Kid stuff" Eliot agreed knowing that Nate was thinking of the times they had pulled similar crap and how it could have possibly gone wrong for him. "Only there was two guys waitin' for me."

"What happened?" He watched as mixes of hurt and hate, anger and betrayal, flashed through Eliot's eyes but that was as far as he was letting it go.

"They jumped me of course.  
>With one good blow to my head things were finished before they even started." A million times over he had wondered if he could have done something to change that.<p>

"So you were taken captive?" Eliot obviously wasn't dead and in a situation like that the only other logical conclusion he was coming to was a hostage situation.

He shook his head silently as his subconscious pulled him closer to that night. "I woke up I don't even know how many hours later feeling like the living dead and wondering why I wasn't. My left eye was swollen shut and I could barely get off the ground but I recognized it as the same place I'd gone down. They had left me there."

"They just left you?" Nate spoke suspiciously. "No warning or threats, nothing... and what about your group?"

"Gone.  
>My head was a bloody mess, the rest of me matched pretty well, and I got no doubt that they kept beatin' me long after I went down.<p>

I looked..  
>I stumbled around that whole damn place searchin' for bodies or bullets, just anything at all that would tell me what had gone down.<br>I made it all the way over to where my guys should have been figuring that they had gotten ambushed too and found nothin'."

"Why would either side of that mess leave you stranded?" That didn't sound rational for anyones planning or strategizing.

"Best I came up with was my guys saw what happened and took off to regroup, and them... they left me to die.  
>It's a near sport out there.. you beat a guy until he's out for the count and then you leave him to the animals.<br>Wolves, coyotes, big ass cats, you better hope that those bastards did enough damage that you die before you get the chance to be eatin' alive." It had been months before he could look at those kind of animals without wondering if he would've been in its belly.

"Thankfully you woke up when you did." Eliot had his good knee bouncing anxiously and Nate moved over to still it with a gentle hand. Above all his wonder and questions he wanted Eliot to know what mattered the most was that he was there to tell about it.

"It really didn't do me much good.  
>I was miles away from anything with barely any energy and even less hope, staggering around like a fool just trying to make it somewhere. I fell more than anything but I kept on goin' cause it was the only choice I had.<p>

The farther I went the worse it got.  
>I could barely see, was dizzy as hell, and kept on losing my footing but still I went.."<p>

It was funny how he remembered these things so clearly.  
>Even the chill of that night which had been a huge contrast to the blistering hot day. "until I couldn't. I tripped and that was it, everything went out on me.<p>

I tried and tried but my body was done, it wasn't taking any more punishment and it didn't care what I had to say about it.  
>I was gonna die in the damn dirt because my feet failed me and that's the last thing I remember thinking before I lost it and passed out."<p>

Nate was staring but honestly he couldn't bring himself to care.

He had regretted going on that op mere hours after he got there, the men horrid and the conditions worse, but for the tiniest of seconds it had opened a window to something he never would have dreamed for himself.

"She found you didn't she?" It was the most logical reasoning as Nate listened to what he now recognized as the tale of a modern day war romance. It couldn't be questioned or summed, he'd simply have to sit through the story and let it be told.

"I woke up in heaven and sittin' right there by my side was an angel." His eyes lit with her mention though it didn't stop his lip from quivering and his voice cracking. "She saved me."

"Eliot what happened to her?" The skin under his hand was clammy with remnants of fever and he wasn't sure how much more Eliot could take. In no way would he consider Eliot fragile but he was already looking beyond drained.

"I was in a bad way.." The look he gave Nate was nothing less than hard. He had wanted to hear it so now he'd better listen. "her situation wasn't any better but she went out and made sure word got around that a dead American had been found in the fields.  
>She made sure it'd be safe while I stayed with her and just as soon as I could I returned the favor."<p>

His thoughts went to that tiny one room home and how happy they had been despite the conditions. "After I healed up a good bit and made sure no one was coming for me I called it quits, got a job in a little bakery, and moved her to a decent house."

"Why didn't you leave?" He watched as Eliot opened his mouth to speak but soon closed it as his face scrunched.

He bit his lip but it didn't stop it from quivering nor did the deep breaths he took.  
>Nate knew his words had been an extreme trigger as despite Eliot's best effort to prevent them tears fell. "I wan-"<p>

His voice cracked which only served to anger him.  
>He didn't need to be crying, tears wouldn't help anyone now. "I was going to bring her here, get discharged properly and start up a life, but she wouldn't go. So instead I called home and let 'em know it might be awhile before they saw me again and I.."<p>

Nate wiped a tear away which inadvertently brought more. "I put a ring on her finger." A hand reached for his own in the semi darkness but he pulled it away, he couldn't stand the thought of comfort and contact right now.

"She started planning the wedding.  
>It was gonna be in the same church she was baptized in.<br>There was these damn purple flowers she had her heart set on and I started picking up odd ball jobs to make sure she'd get 'em... that and a decent wedding band." There was probably a jeweler out there wondering why he stopped making payments with only a handful left. "It was on one of those jobs that I found out things weren't safe no more."

Eliot had been planning a wedding?  
>Nate didn't even know what to think right now let alone feel.<p>

The more he listened the more he heard and it just left him wanting to cover his ears.  
>He had wanted to know but he wished he could have known without knowing because he knew where this was going and as much as he vainly hoped it would end happily it was obvious it would be tragic.<p>

"I got home just as quick as I could but no matter what I said she wasn't listenin' and she sure as hell wasn't leavin'. So I went for help." He had left her and that was something he'd never forgive himself for. "They didn't care about the threat I was trying to report back at base, just the charges that would be brought against me if my explanation for where I'd been all them months wasn't good enough."

He had been one of those raised to believe in the system, yes sir and all but when he needed it it had fallen through. "It was a good six hours before I got back and by then... it was too late." Eliot dropped his head into waiting hands but Nate pulled them away when he started forcefully tugging at his hair.

"Eliot don't." He was trying to take that anger out on himself and he was going to end up getting hurt. "It wasn't your fault."

"WASN'T MY FAULT!  
>You Don't Know What They Did To Her!"<p>

He had been shoved away quite roughly but that didn't matter as he joined Eliot at his reclaimed spot by the window. "So tell me."

"A pretty girl like that Nate?  
>Use your imagination." His words were wet and watery and Nate felt sorry.<br>Eliot sounded so raw that he wasn't leaving much to imagine and it was clear he was remembering clear as day from a vivid memory.

"They used her like a whore! They to-" He all but choked on the word as anger and sorrow bubbled into his throat.

He had promised to take care of her, she had trusted him, and he had failed her.

His shoulders shook in self hate as tears fell disgustedly, and all because he hadn't been a man of his word. " ... I was sittin' there holdin' her.. and how bad is it that she.." It was something he just couldn't put to words. " ... I was covered in her blood just prayin', like it would be some kind of reprive..." His huff was depreciative as he stared into eyes that were near confused. "prayin' that damn bullet had killed her long before those bastards touched her. Like it actually made a difference."

"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure if he was apologizing for the situation or for asking but this was an amazing insight.

"I told you what you wanted to hear.. I don't need your pity." His words were meant to be hard but a stupid sniffle broke the illusion.

"It's sympathy Eliot." Suddenly a lot of things were falling into place, including that incoherent conversation in the bathrooms meaning.

"Call it whatever you like." He rubbed his hands harshly across his face to rid it of the emotion before grabbing that dang pole and moving to the bed. For all he cared Nate could go to hell right now, he was going to lie down and wallow in his freshly stirred misery.

"You told Jimmy you were a monster but that's the story of a broken man." He had yet to uncover the base of the rage that had Eliot at his throat and that's what had him prying as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Ain't you had enough yet?" Eliot wasn't sure how much more he'd be able to take out before it became impossible to put it away again.

"What did you do?" He was feeling a great amount of Eliot's hurt but he strongly believed that it would help him to drop some of the weight of such a heavy burden.

Blowing out an exasperated breath Eliot took a minute to remind himself it was useless to hold back this little bit after everything he had shared. "Life moves on. I was a soldier she was a casualty, that's just how the game's played. Only I finally stopped to read the rules and it turns out things ain't that black and white."

That was something they didn't let you know before you joined up. "I had lost everything and they expected me to just keep on like nothing.. and I did cause it was either that or prison but my heart was missing. So I went after it. One of the guys in my new platoon said he knew what had happened to my girl, and better yet he knew where to find the guys that did it."

All of the times Eliot had spoken on killing men, on the damage it did to the soul, on what it had done to him, even Aaron's questioning on what had happened to Eliot during the service, it was all ringing loud and clear through his ears. "You went after them."

"By the time I got there they had split up but I found one of 'em.  
>He called himself Rafa and he was cocky as hell.<br>No shame, no denial, he dared to brag about what he did to her and I let him.  
>I let him talk; just long enough to tell me how many of them there were and then I cut that nasty tongue right out of his mouth."<p>

Nate wouldn't say Eliot sounded pleased but he wasn't hearing regret and there really was no doubt in his mind that Eliot would go out and repeat those actions tomorrow if necessary which kind of unnerved him.

"I spent every free second I had from then on tracking.  
>I volunteered for any job that would get me closer to any kind of hint, help, or clue and that's when I met Andrew.<br>I'd found four of them on my own, the fifth was why I ended up in the desert, but my leads were startin' to turn drier than the sand.

Andrew helped that way.  
>He got me the names of a few guys, including his Uncle, that were willing to give a good amount if you'd do them a favor without questioning it.<p>

I did them a job they'd get me the location of the guy I was looking for or at least the name of a person who knew it.  
>Word gets around quick that you'll do just about anything for that information, or that the rate will be half the usual price if you have a tip that proves useful."He knew first hand what seeking revenge did to a person and hopefully now Nate would know why he was so dead set against him going after it.<p>

"It wasn't long before I was telling the service where to go, they hadn't helped me and I was through helping them.  
>This new life got me out of the grunt work but the longer I continued my search the dirtier the jobs got and with 'em my hands." Nate sympathetically took one of the hands Eliot was staring at with disgust into his own.<p>

"Three years and eighteen men.  
>The guys I worked for during that time were shady and their bosses even shadier but I got every man even associated with the bastards that touched her.<p>

All except one.. he's how I crossed paths with Damien.  
>Apparently Simon was a good friend but I stuck around and showed him how I could be better, more useful.<br>Damien pushed it too.  
>The things he asked me to do... they'd.." Usually he'd be first to ask but they had already been at this crossroads, that and Nate wasn't sure if he wanted to know about it if Eliot was having so much trouble admitting to it when he just proclaimed slicing someones tongue out there mouth. "but it had been worth it at the time. It got me to Simon.<p>

See everyone thinks I was a goon in those early days.  
>That I hadn't refined my skills and that's why I left bodies everywhere but I can tell you exactly how many I left." He could see the gears turning in Nate's mind, just the same as he could feel the hate that flowed through his heart with their mention.<p>

"Nineteen." And he was looking forward to seeing every one of them burning in hell. "Nineteen of 'em." He didn't care who had done what because he knew just the same as they did that they were guilty.

"They came into my house, trashed it, put their dirty ass hands on my woman, had left her displayed on the couch in a bloody and torn dress..." By now a sensored light had kicked on and Nate got to see the tears that matched the angry words. "So I returned the favor. I displayed them like the slaughter pigs they were and I'd do it again in a heart beat."

"Did it help?" He didn't want to sound curious but he was really interested in knowing if all that death had somehow helped Eliot to feel better or to start the process of moving on.

"I got my heart back.. but it was full of hate and contempt.  
>I killed all those men to avenge her but in the process I killed myself.<br>You see Rafa had been first but that next spot in line had my name written all over it." He had done a few questionable things during his time with the service but they had been for his country and he was proud of that. Well he had been proud of it until he tarnished those good deeds with blood and anger.

"No," The hurt, pain, and self loathing he heard brought back memories with quite similar emotions.  
>Never before had he seen so many connections between them, especially not as clearly as he was now. "maybe you hid so you could cope, lost yourself along the way but you didn't die."<p>

Eliot seemed too lost in his own thoughts to care what Nate was saying but it didn't matter as he slithered up behind him in the bed to share more. "I've seen that man. He's working his ass off to right his wrongs and if you ask me he's doing a damn good job of it. I know he's not dead because I've seen him, I know him and Eliot... he's waiting for you to find him. He wants out."

He knew what Nate was talking about.  
>Those days when he could just forget were a blessing, a breath of fresh air, but they never lasted.<br>If it wasn't one thing it was another and he knew it wouldn't go away.

Nate simply settled more on the bed as he started sorting through thoughts of his own.  
>He took his time to put answers with his questions and the more he filled in his format the more emotional he got.<br>With all the hurt and horror he'd heard he was ready to shed a few tears himself.  
>This wasn't a pain he had ever wanted Eliot to feel and though there was no way possible he still wished he could take it upon himself somehow.<p>

"She used to do that."bNate had started carding his fingers through his hair and it reminded him of the nights he and Itza used to stay up talking.

"I didn't know." The action had been absent and he pulled his hand away as soon as Eliot mentioned it.  
>That explained his attitude on the gesture now he was just left to hope he hadn't caused any damage.<p>

"It's alright." After a minute or so of hesitance Nate continued the gesture and he went back to wondering about his life.

He'd gone from watching out for his siblings to watching out for his country.  
>From having nothing less than a full heart to becoming heartless.<p>

He'd say the last 30 years had been nothing less than a tangled mess and unfortunately that life was his to claim.

"What do you think would have happened if that hadn't?" Now he understood the situation with Aimee.  
>She had been a companion but Maritza had been a rock when Eliot had been left on his own and after her death there was no questioning why Eliot hadn't gone back.<p>

Croatia didn't matter any more, nor did what happened between Eliot and the Butcher of Kiev, hell he didn't even care about the damn monkey.

No.. this conversation had Nate realizing that none of those situations or where they fit mattered.  
>All that mattered was the man Eliot was because of them, the person he'd become.<p>

"Maritza was as stubborn as a mule..." He didn't talk about her.  
>The closest he had come was a discussion of missed opportunities with his Bubby but even she had thought he was speaking of Aimee and that's how he kept it.<p>

See he believed a mans lies should be just as honest as his truths and that explanations should be simple.  
>How a person chose to interpret his words was up to them and he wasn't going to bother correcting the assumption if it proved to be wrong. "but I think eventually I'd have convinced her to come back with me. We probably would have gone and settled out by my grandparents' old place."<p>

"You think you would've had kids?" The better question would have been how many they'd of had but Nate was left thinking he shouldn't of asked it as Eliot turned to him with newly glistening eyes.

"She.." It was a simple question.  
>There had been different points in his life where he thought about having kids of his own, especially when Sarah started nagging. Hell even on those crazy days when he found himself surrounded by them he would start thinking that maybe he would adopt a few, but it was just that, a thought.<p>

Just like Maritza that card had been snatched from the hand he was dealt. "She was four months."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Was it worth the wait?**

**Cuz it's only like three times the size of a normal chapter!**

**So hopefully this answered all the questions and if not it's probably still to come. (Ask if you're not sure)**

**Also you really shouldn't think we'll be seeing smooth sailing from now on out because well it's me... that should be enough said but at least they didn't break up.**

**I absolutely NEVER thought I'd have such a long story but we're at over 100 THOUSAND words and I don't even see the end yet and it's all because of you guys!**

**I love this thing and each and every one of you that have shown interest in it! (Strange Music it was nice hearing from you again:)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter Forty**

"Lets go." Ashlee grumbled as she switched yet again from one foot to the other. They had been standing outside of Eliot's for the better half of ten minutes with no answer from inside.

"I don't see why he wouldn't be here.  
>I told him I was coming this weekend." Aaron spoke distractedly as Nate's voicemail once again went off in his ear.<p>

"Maybe they had an appointment." She spoke optimistically as she leaned against the rail.

"But the whole house is empty?" He knew the other two were staying with Eliot and his feelings were starting to become wary.

"People have lives Aaron. Come on.., we'll come back later." It wasn't like lurking on the porch was doing anyone any good.

"You think something happened?  
>What if he ended up in the emergency?" By most peoples standards it was still early and that just set his nerves all the more.<p>

"Tell you what..." She started down the stairs and nearly had to pull him with. "If after breakfast you still haven't heard anything we'll call the hospital for patient information.

"Alright," Aaron relented as he pulled his door open. "but I don-" His words stopped at the sounds of tires behind him.

"Who's that?" Ashlee wondered as she peered into the car that had just pulled up on the other side of theirs.

"Friends of Eliot." Aaron barely offered as Hardison opened the door and he questioned, "Where's my brother?"

"Well good morning to you too." Hardison spoke with annoyance as he walked around the car.  
>After the amazing night he and Parker had created the last thing he wanted was to come home and get hounded.<p>

"Good morning." Ashlee waved despite the sarcasm.

"Ashlee that's Hardison and she's Parker." Aaron introduced as he glanced into the car where she was still stuffing something into a bag.

"Ashlee," Hardison offered a more honest greeting this time and he was met with a warm smile. "Anyway like you was asking..."

"Eliot isn't here." Parker blurted as she pushed her door open.

"Well that much I figured." He didn't know how Eliot dealt with these two, he barely knew them and they were nearly sitting under his skin. "But do you think you can manage to tell me where he is?"

"Do you hear that?  
>It's gotta run in the family." Hardison shared with Parker as he took in the similarities between Aaron and his brother.<p>

"Hardison!" If there would have been a dammit in front of that he would have sworn up and down that Eliot said it and honestly that little thought unnerved him.

"Yesterday he went back to the hospital."

"Damn it!" Now that was just spooky.

"Is he alright?" Ashlee too had come around to join them.

"It's Eliot" Parker had taken on an 'are you stupid' tone so Hardison cut in. "He's gonna be fine."

"I wanna go see him." Aaron announced to Ashlee. The plan had been for her to drop him off and then she'd go her own way but it hadn't exactly gone that way.

"Aaron I'm starving." In the very least he could let her stop somewhere first.

"You can eat at the hospital." Sure they had said Eliot was fine but he wanted to see for himself.

"I'd rather eat my shoe." Her voice was dead, flat, and serious.

"Girl's got good taste." Hardison joked but apparently he was the only one that found it funny. "Listen," It was probably best to move on. "I was going over there anyway so how 'bout I just give you a ride and that way she can.. hey.. you know what.." He turned to Parker as an idea sparked. "Parker how about you go with and get everybody somethin' and that way we'll all just meet back in El's room."

"Sounds good to me." Neither Parker nor Aaron looked thrilled with that plan but Ashlee's words sealed the deal.

"Lets get going then." Aaron had to wait for Parker to grab her bag from the seat but as soon as she did he was placing himself in it.

It wasn't until the men were gone that Ashlee was asking, "You ready?"

A devious smile broke out on Parker's face as she waved her sack. "I just got to put this in the house first."

"Alright" Ashlee followed Parker up the stairs where she automatically dropped to her knees. "You forget your keys too!" It was obvious she was going to start looking for a spare. "I do it all the time! I swear Aaron's about ready to kill me for it."

"Hinnh" Parker huffed as she pulled a pin from her hair, this one was adorable. "Keys"

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As a courtesy Hardison knocked on the door but it wasn't worth much as he barged in before the announcement could alert anyone.  
>He was expecting to see a variation of the sight he had the last dozen times he'd walked into Eliot's room but this sure wasn't it.<p>

Eliot and Nate were in a tangle of limbs on the bed fast asleep and for a man who barely slept and another who was always first up that was just weird.

"We should probably go." He felt like an intruder as he turned his head from the sight.

"I ain't leaving." Aaron stood at the base of the bed trying to decide if he'd wait for Eliot to wake or wake him.  
>It was with a deep breath and a short pause that he let out an, "Eliot get your ass up!"<p>

Hardison kept awkwardly to the side as Eliot's eyes snapped open and Nate nearly fell off the all too small bed. "What the fu.." Eliot didn't bother with finishing that thought as he rubbed at an eye with one hand and pushed his hair back with the other. "Damn Aaron.." Nate removed himself from the bed and he situated himself in it. "What's wrong with you?"

"Me? With the way you keep on visiting this place you might as well rent out the room!" Aaron shoved his brothers feet out of the way as he settled on the bottom of the bed. "I mean honestly, I get to your place this morning just to find you ain't even there. You weren't kidding when you said he could find enough trouble on his own."

Only after a significant pause did Nate realize Aaron was talking to him but he barely acknowledged it as he walked straight past Hardison and into the bathroom.

The sink was quickly made use of as he tried to wake himself with the cold water.

After Eliot's confession last night the conversation only deepened and it couldn't have been more than two hours ago that they'd actually gone to sleep.

They hadn't just talked, they had shared, and as much as he had learned about Eliot; Eliot now knew about him.

For the 30+ years Eliot had layed out for him he had returned them and a decade and it had actually been therapeutic.

Long ago he had started packing away the skeletons, had vowed to take that bag of bones to the grave, yet last night he had trusted someone enough to share most of them; had someone trust him enough to do the same.

A yawn escaped as he began searching for soap.

In all honesty he wanted to kick everybody out and go back to sleep and if it was just Hardison he would but Aaron was out there so instead he settled for wetting hair that was stubbornly sticking up.

"And I told you I ain't dealing with that right now!" Eliot's angry words greeted him as he stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

"I can't believe you two managed to make things worse!" Aaron's words were just as heated and they effectively let Nate know that Sarah was the subject.

"It ain't your business Aaron."

"I'm not that little kid anymore Eliot.  
>I've got the right to an opinion, especially about this!"<p>

"You're right..." He hated this.  
>Sarah had been the same exact way when he'd been fighting with Aaron about his recklessness. "you're not a little kid anymore. So don't you think it's about time you stop looking at everything like it's so black and white?"<p>

You could tell the words didn't sit well with Aaron but he held his tongue. "I'm gonna go help your friend with the coffee." With that he left.

"I shouldn't have said that." He threw his head back with frustration.

"Maybe he needed to hear it." Nate felt bad for him. He knew first hand how brutal it got when family started to gang up on you and he honestly felt sorry.

"It isn't his fault." It was no secret that he had a short fuse and it only got shorter with annoyance which unfortunately left him blowing up on Aaron.

"Well it isn't yours either." It had become quite clear that the Spencer family as a whole was hot headed, hot tempered, and stubborn to boot.

"Don't go there Nate." He knew Nate knew damn well how he felt about that and he wasn't in the mood to listen to that particular lecture.

"Alright" It was easily shrugged off as he moved to get the bag he'd brought with. "You want to change?"

"I want to leave," but he knew it wasn't an option so he reached behind himself to untie the flimsy gown from his neck instead.

"Shorts or pants?" Smart thinking would have had him packing an outfit for himself but the thought hadn't even come close to his mind.

"Pants"

"Long sleeve white or short sleeve blue?" Nate moved his bag as Eliot swung his legs over the side of the bed and started the tedious task of getting his pant leg over his booted foot.

"Both" His muscles were stiff from not using them and his joints sore from being pushed while damaged.

"You cold?" Lasting effects of the fever was the only reason he could think of for wanting to wear layers in the heat they were seeing.

Eliot didn't answer him as he came across the dilemma of getting a shirt on with an IV. "How are you.." but Nate didn't need to finish the question as Eliot simply pulled the device out and gave him his answer. "I can't believe you just did that." In all actuality he could but he still shook his head at it as Eliot reused the tape to cover a now bloody spot.

"I can't believe I'm still here." He was peeved as he took the second shirt and pulled it over his head.

"We'll be gone soon enough." The sooner the better for him but he didn't want Eliot to feel like he was in any way being rushed.

It was no surprise that Nate was right behind him as he stood and started to the bathroom. "You know I haven't spent this much time in Oklahoma since I left the place nearly 20 years ago."

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Nate had his own thoughts about that as he leaned against the doorway but he wanted to hear Eliot's.

Lets see there." Eliot spoke sarcastically as he pulled his toothbrush from his mouth. "The first time I see my parents in over a year and I lay their dirty laundry out for everyone to see in less than a day. Then, and on the same day may I add, I get my ass hit by a car." He knew there was still unresolved guilt about that. "Now look at all of this with Sarah."

"In the very least you can say the air's clean again." It was a pathetic reassurance but humoress none the less.

"Get out of here." He was glad Nate could be amused as he pulled the door closed cause he sure wasn't.  
>Maybe the air was clear but it sure wasn't helping the situation.<p>

He felt bare.

There was nothing left to claim as his own, nothing to hide behind when things got rough and it left him with a horrible feeling of vulnerability.

Sarah wasn't talking to him which whether he wanted to believe it or not would eventually lead Aaron to do the same and now Nate had the puzzle figured.

He didn't need forever anymore because he now knew what made Eliot Spencer tick.  
>Mystery solved.<br>He was going to get bored and find something new.

They were all going to leave him and once again he'd be all alone.

Nate didn't love him.  
>Sure he thought he did but it was really the secrets that he loved.<br>Eliot knew that.  
>He was okay with that but now that they were gone Nate was going to go looking for a new challenge... or turn back to an old one.<p>

Aka Sophie.  
>She still had the charm of the unknown and that left him without work and the team too.<br>Pretty soon he was going to lose everything.

Again.

"Eliot you okay in there!"

"Fine!" He looked into the mirror and he didn't know the man looking back at him.  
>One thing he did know though was that he wasn't fine.<p>

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"Hey Jordan!"

"Torlyn?" He was surprised to see the man in the cafeteria, he was usually locked up in his office until noon.

"I was wondering if you'd be a second set of eyes?" And just like that a decent sized file was nearly dropped in his plate.

"What am I looking at?" Flipping through the sheets showed records of about two dozen fresh injuries but they could be for just about anything.

"That hit and run victim I was telling you about, Spencer Elliott."

"All I'm seeing is broken bones, sutures, and dislocations. It's rooky stuff." Jordan honestly couldn't see why his opinion was needed.

"Except it isn't." Sean Torlyn then proceeded to open the Elliott file to the cranial section. "When he first arrived I nearly lost him to a coma."

"Well brain trauma can do that to a person." Jordan had to dig out his glasses to read further into things but he knew Sean knew that.

"That's just it though, I had multiple scans done.  
>I double checked my double checks just to get his brother off my back and I found no trauma to the actual brain. The swelling is new."<p>

"How long between the initial impact and the swellings appearance?" The more he read and listened the more he understood. They were looking at effect without an apparent cause.

"Five weeks."

"What about the knee?" It was quite possible that him having swelling in multiple locations was more than coincidence.

"There hasn't been any improvement but I can't say with certainty if that's because things are worsening or because he's abusing the joint."

"Stubborn is he?"

"I don't think the man knows the definition of rest." Of course Jordan could laugh at it, it wasn't his patient.

"Is he here now?"

"I admitted him yesterday which is another thing.  
>His last eval I got an ultrasound done to chart the progress of kidneys that had been bruised and they looked to be shaping up well.<br>Then yesterday morning I get woken by a call saying I needed to come in because one of my patients is having some serious temperature spikes and that's when I come to find out he's got a kidney infection." His progression was beginning to feel pointless.

"Any bacterium in the blood?" Jordan was quickly becoming intrigued by the seeming mystery.

"No but it sure came close." Hopefully Jordan had an idea or two because he was running out.

"Scratch splitting it three different ways.  
>What happens if you look at the infection as a symptom instead of a diagnosis?"<p>

"It would have to be bacterial then but that's already been ruled out." He had blood analysis to prove that.

"The infection, headaches, fevers, swelling, vomiting.  
>What if they're all symptoms of something more." He'd lost interest in his breakfast so he stood to discard it.<p>

Dr. Torlyn lifted his file as he followed Jordan. "But what?" Ironically enough the brain swelling was what he was least worried about. "You name it I've ruled it out."

Jordan held the door open as they entered the hall. "I've got some time." and his interest was peaked. "Lets go take a look."

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"So I'm following this guy all over the place and you can tell he's gettin' madder by the minute."

"Mad? He was seconds away from sluggin' you!" Eliot added to his brothers story.

The mood had lightened with the girls' arrival and they were now spread out with their assorted breakfasts.

"True but I was just as close to doing the same."

Eliot laughed.  
>Hard, and though he knew it would annoy Aaron he soon shared why. "The man was a good 250 and at least 6' 2. You would have been good, gone, and dead."<p>

Ashlee shook her head at the indignant look that crossed Aaron's face but it was soon shrugged off as he continued. "So he's gettin' riled, I'm ready to murder the man, and what does Eliot do?"

Parker opened her mouth with a suggestion but Eliot quickly spoke over it. "I started whistling." The last thing he needed was Parker suggesting murder or something worse and scaring Ashlee right out of the family.

"Doo-dah none the less but it gets that jerk to turn around and right when he does.."

"El decks him." Hardison threw in as he tried to sum a story that he figured would end in much the same way as the other tales of men that peeved Eliot.

"That's what you'd think, hell that's what I thought was gonna happen but it didn't.  
>No, he goes and as quiet as a mouse he tells him-"<p>

"Story time's over." Nate was the one to burst everyones bubble as he caught sight of the door beginning to open.

"I see everyone's here this morning." Dr. Torlyn's words were friendly as they entered the room.

"I'll see you later man." Hardison bid as he stood to leave.  
>He had been close to excusing himself anyway in favor of some sleep. "Come on Parker."<p>

"But I want to know what he said."

"I'll tell you when you get back." Eliot was amused with her whine, in all honesty the story's end wasn't all that great.

"Alright" Her mood brightened as she remembered what was waiting for her at the house and soon Hardison was the one following her out the room.

"Spencer this is Dr. Jordan Zavarez." He introduced as he watched a petite blonde begin to pick up after what had been their morning meal.

"Doc," Eliot nodded.  
>His own doctor was staring between the other two and he figured it best to introduce them before someone said something to contradict the web they had weaved. "You know Nate, then that's Aaron and his girl Ashlee." He didn't see the need to say brother, if you had eyes that little fact was more than obvious and if they couldn't see it.. well Lord help him.<p>

"It's nice to meet you." Ashlee shook both their hands and it left Eliot believing that Aaron had truly found himself a real Southern Belle.

"We're gonna get out of the way too but I'll be back around tomorrow.  
>I'm gonna call tonight though and you better answer." Aaron barely threatened as he grabbed the bag Ashlee had filled with their used cartons.<p>

She waved and he gave what Eliot supposed to be a warning look before they too were gone.

"So, how are we doing so far today?" Sure he seemed up and coherent but after how he entered yesterday Sean wanted to make sure it wasn't simply a false bravado.

"Good"

"Now how are you really doing?" Jordan who had moved to the other side of the bed asked as he held up IV tubing that he was positive should still be connected.

"How long has that been out?" Dr. Torlyn was already collecting supplies to fix it as he asked the question.

"I didn't notice it was." Nate was suppressing a laugh and he felt like telling him to shut up.  
>So maybe he'd forgotten there was more than saline in that drip but he hadn't exactly been reminded either.<p>

"If your infection worsens and bacteria gets in the blood stream we'll be-"

"I'll pay better mind." He was not about to get lectured, especially not about something he already knew.

"Open" Like it wasn't bad enough he had one sticking him, the other was stuffing a thermometer at him and he was starting to feel like a lab rat. "So I heard you were having some trouble with that knee."

He had thought Torlyn lacked bedside manner but Zavarez made him look like a cheery ole lad. "You ever hurt it before?"  
>Eliot shook his head, it wasn't like he could say something even if he wanted. "No sprains or old sports injuries?"<p>

He glared as the thermometer was pulled from his mouth. "No nothing serious."

"101.3? Any chills or head pains?"

In all honesty he hated this guy, and Nate for just sitting there.  
>Any other time he was all over Torlyn but apparently Zavarez got free rein. "Yes"<p>

"To both?"

"YES!" Now he knew he hadn't stuttered the first time.

"Is it another of those headaches?" Dr. Torlyn questioned as he finally seemed to kick it back in gear.

"It's been near constant for close to three days now." If it was up to him he'd be out but these guys were the ones in charge of making that happen so he'd tell them what they wanted to know.

"Any recent head trauma?" He could feel the lump but Jordan wanted to see how honest this Spencer's answers were.

"A few nights ago I fell from the bed." He was getting angry.  
>The way Jordan was going over his head he felt like he was being checked for fleas.<p>

"That explains the headache."

"No it doesn't!" He looked to both Torlyn and Nate but apparently they were opinionless. "The headache was there before I hit my head and to be honest whicha ya ain't helping it any!"

"Ehh, we'll see about some aspirin."

It was quite obvious Eliot was about to kill him and apparently Dr. Torlyn picked up on that too because he cut in by asking, "Have you eaten anything yet?"

"Not since Tuesday." Seeing as it was now Saturday the three disapproving looks he got weren't all that surprising.

"How about the vomiting?  
>Did that nausea treatment help any?"<p>

"It's been working pretty well. I haven-"

"Can I ask a quick question?" Nate had been sitting to the side silently observing since their arrival but Eliot knew that look, he'd caught on to something during that time.

"Of course." Dr. Torlyn answered with a false ease.  
>He'd only known Nate for a little over a month but that was enough to know this question wouldn't be quick.<p>

"What are you really looking for?" Nate's words had Eliot's attention piqued.

"Excuse me?" He knew it.

"Oh come on! You say it's a kidney infection and I believe you there, I really do but your questions so far haven't even wandered toward the general direction of kidney progression. Then you got Zavarez over there.." The man was looking at him with distaste but that was alright because the feeling was mutual. "who's obviously your second opinion but what's with the consult to begin with? What aren't you seeing?"

"Alright, I'll lay it to you straight." He was learning more about how well versed Nate was as the days went by and it was nearly as annoying as the man himself. "I've been counting but things just aren't adding up Spencer."

"Care to explain." Eliot didn't seem to know how he felt about that but Nate's opinion was clear enough for them both.

"If I had an explanation I would."

"What now?" Eliot's measured words broke through bringing focus back to him.

"We'll get some urine analysis done and I'll go back through and make sure I've covered base but right now we're going to worry about the basics." Their looks were questioning as he picked up his chart. "Breakfast. I'm not going to waste all my time on trying to fix you up if you insist on starving to death.. and if I remember correctly there's a finger over there I still need to unwrap."

Nate was still staring accusingly and Spencer had proceeded to pick at said finger.  
>Jordan was standing there uselessly with his nose buried deep in the Elliott medical file and he took a second to get a grip on the situation with a deep breath. "I promise we'll figure this out."<p>

"Well it was nice meeting you." Dr. Zavarez offered simply as if they hadn't been in the middle of a serious conversation.

"If only I could say the same." Dr. Torlyn promptly steered Jordan out of the room before Nate's words could stir trouble.

"Well what did you think?"

"That guy's a real piece of work."

"About the case Jordan!" Sean reminded as he leaned against the wall.  
>Nate wasn't that bad once you got used to his particular brand of insult.<p>

"Personally I think the car accident is a reasonable representative of his symptoms."

"Are you kidding me!" If he wanted that kind of answer he would have gone to Carter.

"Sean it's only been a month. Don't go looking for more when you've yet to make enough time to fix what's broken." He'd estimate another two months before things started getting back to normal for that guy.

"And exactly what course of treatment do you suggest I start with no diagnosis?" Others might be okay with it but he had never sent a patient away just because he didn't have the answer and he wasn't about to start now.

"Start by what's in front of you.  
>Drain the hematoma, flush the kidneys, and give it a few weeks.<br>If things still aren't looking up after that then that's when you start thinking outside the box."

The rest of Zavarez's words were tossed as he focused on the last three, he needed to think outside of the box.

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"Eliot?" The silence that settled was beyond eerie. "Are you alright?" He was absently pulling and playing with the band on his wrist which let Nate know his mind was occupied.

"I've been banged up before.. it's nothing new." Except what Nate was hearing as he sat next to him was new.  
>"The bruising and the breaks, it seems like I'm always walking around with one or the other and I'm okay with that.<br>It's fine by me because I know where it came from.  
>This whole situation is a mess but I'm good with it because I know what happened.<br>I was hit by a car and yeah it sucks but it's alright.  
>But now they're tellin' me that some of this might not be from that accident."<p>

Even though he didn't want to name the emotion in Eliot's eyes he still recognized it. "They're sayin' that there's something wrong and they don't know why.. and that ain't alright Nate."

He wouldn't claim Eliot as such but he'd proudly say it about himself, he was scared.

They all had to deal with the fact that Eliot was injured, it hadn't been the easiest but they had done it.  
>He was injured and needed time to heal, they had accepted that and had put time aside for him to do it.<p>

Injury was the name of the game but suddenly some doctor wanted to change it to illness.

Hugs weren't for him but that didn't stop him from pulling Eliot into one as he placed a chaste kiss atop his head.  
>His everything revolved around Eliot being hurt, plans and all but now those had to change.<br>Apparently Eliot was sick and in all honesty it scared the hell out of him. "It will be."

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><p><strong>EN: Ya'll it's been way too long but hopefully the size makes up for the wait :)**

**Can you guys believe that were about a day away from the start of this journey?**

**Yup a year of this craziness has passed and I'm still lovin' it!**

**That also means that my birthday's coming up so I'll probably post a celebratory chapter for my twin!**

**Ya'll let me know what you think.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Apologies First.  
>I know it's been like ridiculously long but I've been swamped with all kinds of overtime.<br>On the other hand I promise it wont be another month before the next update.  
>Hopefully this is an adequate 'I'm sorry'<br>Also I'm quite proud of how dead on I've been with my details so far, none of them have been plain wrong or shot out the water which has me absolutely giddy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-one<strong>

**Seven weeks later  
>July 9th<strong>

"Hook, line, and..." Nate spoke with what should have been accomplishment as he ran a finger around the rim of his whiskey glass. "No... no Parker.. don't let Slone corner you into a morning meeting. Tell him between time zones and transfers you wont be able to deal until two." He settled as his words were confirmed seconds later breathing out, "and sinker."

"We've had plenty of obstacles to build cons around before but never a doctor's appointment Nate." Sophie spoke from the other side of the table as he pulled the com from his ear.

"Don't start." He'd need a refill if she was going to start up on this again.

"Don't you think it'd be best if we head back to Boston?" She kept as quiet as possible since there was nothing more than a wall between Eliot's room and them.

"His doctor's here." The only reason he even had to deal with this right now was because Eliot threatened to make himself disappear for good if they didn't all get out of his face and back to work.

"Surely in all of Boston there has to be at least one suitable physician." It disappointed her to see him toss a nearly full glass back, it seemed like the amount he consumed only grew as the days passed.

"We've tried other doctors, they didn't know what they were saying." Five to be exact but they'd decided to go back to Torlyn and that's where they'd be tomorrow morning.

"They didn't know what they were saying or you didn't want to hear it?" She knew how he felt about it but she was hoping to finally get him to open his eyes and see what they were facing.

"No I don't want to hear it when they're saying it's either in his head or he's crazy!" Torlyn seemed to be the only one who cared enough to look for an actual reason and as long as he was still trying they'd stay.

"What about the CFS?" Nate always chose to blatantly ignore that one.

"It isn't CFS." That was another reason they were sticking with Torlyn, he didn't believe that line of bull either.

"Why wont you accept that diagnosis?" He stood in anger and she followed in frustration.

"He doesn't have chronic fatigue syndrome!" If he had to hear how he should accept that one more time he just might lose his mind and kill her.

"How can you be so sure of yourself?" Right now it was hard to say if Nate's denial was helping or hurting Eliot.

"BECAUSE THERE'S NO DAMN CURE!" She ignored the clattering of the stool he kicked as it fell. "No one knows Eliot's symptoms like I do. They don't know him and they don't know what they're talking about! I've done so much research on CFS that I could more than diagnose it myself and I'm telling you he doesn't have it. It doesn't fit."

"Just because you don't want it to fit doesn't mean it doesn't."

"Do you know what he's facing if it's CFS?" She was so quick to push it but he doubted she even understood it. "A lot more days in that damn bed. They'll push pills that will sometimes leave him feeling worse than the symptoms. He'll be praying that his tomorrows aren't worse than his todays had been. He's a hitter Soph, how do you think he's going to feel when his muscles go out on him?"

She was silent but her eyes held a hue of pity and it angered him. "It's not CFS! Even if I have to try every piece twice I'll figure it out because that's not going to be his future! I wont accept it." He had already lost one person he loved because he hadn't tried hard enough and he'd be damned if he let that happen again.

"Nate someti-"

"Stuff it Sophie!" This wasn't one of their clients' sob stories this was Eliot and there was no way he was going to stay there and listen to her explain how life was sometimes unfair. That's exactly why they made the rules themselves and he didn't care if his words offended her as he left for Eliot's room.

"Hey" The smile he wore as he entered the room was false but he made sure it was there none the less.  
>The last couple of days had been hard for Eliot and he didn't want to add to them.<p>

Depression and fatigue had fallen over him like a blanket and though he had pretty much healed from the car accident his knee was still persistent in troubling him, having even caused him to fall a few times.

"Go away" That response was nothing new to him and most nights similar ones had him sleeping on the couch.

"I was thinking about ordering out tonight and I was wondering if you'd want anything in particular?" He didn't give a crap about food but it seemed to be the only thing Eliot would talk to him about anymore.

"I don't care." Eliot sighed as he squinted against the light coming in from the hall, it wasn't likely he'd keep it down anyway.

"Did you get any sleep while I was gone?" He closed the door before sitting on the edge of the bed.  
>Eliot was always tired but barely managed to get any sleep and when he did there'd be nightmares waiting to wake him up leaving him more exhausted than before.<p>

"Why do you do that? Why do you ask when you already know?" He would swear his head was literally going to kill him and if that was the case then he only hoped God would speed things up.

"So I'm assuming you didn't take your meds then?" He didn't need to look over to the table to know the pills he had layed out that morning were still there.

"Just go away!" He was constantly being hounded by one if not all four of them and it was nearly worse than being betrayed by his own body.

"Eliot don't do that." For weeks now he had been trying to put distance between them, he'd say anything he could think of to hurt him, and Nate could sadly say it was starting to take its toll.

"Why can't you understand that I don't want you here? I don't need you!" He'd swear the words hurt him more than Nate but he needed to say them.  
>The great Eliot Spencer could barely make it to the bathroom anymore these days and Nate deserved better than that. He didn't know what was going on with himself but he knew that he didn't want Nate sitting in pain and disappointment at another bedside. "I don't like you so why do you stay here!"<p>

"Because..." It tore at his heart to hear something like that but he made sure he didn't allow the emotion to show. "I love you."

"I'm sure you do." The sarcasm he forced himself to say that with hurt nearly as much as it did to roll over.

For what seemed like the millionth time he promised himself he wouldn't take Eliot's insult personally as he curled up behind him in the bed.  
>He knew it wouldn't be long before Eliot was shoving him away but still he'd try for a closeness they hadn't had in almost two months. "I'm sure I do too."<p>

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"What's up with Sara?" Aaron asked Pete as he watched her slamming things about in the kitchen.

"Just whatever you do don't mention Eliot." Usually Pete would hang around for a while when he showed but this time he was quick to leave after his warning had been issued.

"Hey" Aaron announced his presence as he set Brian's, a little late, birthday present on the table.

"Don't you hey me!" It was obvious she was angry.

"What did I do?"A cabinet slammed at the question and he knew this was gonna be good.

"What did you do!  
>You missed Brian's party... that's what you did!"<p>

"I already warned you that I had a double shift and we wouldn't be making it!" Excuse him for having a home two hours away and a job that called for overtime. "I'm sure with all of his friends there he didn't even miss me."

"Oh really? Because I distinctly remember having to near force him to interact with those guests because he believed one of my brothers likes his job more than his nephew and the other... well he didn't even have a damn excuse!" It had been her sons birthday, the one day in his life that should be guaranteed happy, and all she saw in those big bright eyes was disappointment.

"That isn't right or fair to either of us Sarah." He stopped her from chopping celery, the way she was going she'd likely chop off a finger.

"Not fair!  
>You two are his Uncles and you let him down!"<p>

"Was I not just with ya'll for the 4th?" The let down couldn't have been that big seeing as Brian's birthday was mere days after it.

"And Eliot?  
>Brian waited for him to call.<br>Every year he calls them, every holiday that phone rings, and now just because we aren't seeing eye to eye he doesn't.  
>That's a new low even for him."<p>

"Sarah he-"

"No Aaron!" Whatever excuse he was about to make for Eliot would be a waste of air. "Brian waited for hours! He had a table full of presents and he ignored every one because in his opinion Eliot's call would have been better than them all combined! That little boy went to sleep with the phone waiting on a call from Uncle Eliot and it broke his heart to find out one never came."

"I promised him I wouldn't tell you this but.." With a deep breath Aaron prepared himself to break that confidence. "Eliot's sick."

"Last time I checked he broke his foot not his mouth." And she knew that was already healed because Aaron had told her he'd been his ride for that appointment.

"No Sarah he's really sick.." He paused in the thought to make sure his niece and nephew weren't around to over hear. "like sick sick."

"Oh God. It's not like papa is it?" Her eyes glistened with the memory of their grandfathers struggle.

"There hasn't been any signs of cancer but whatever it is it's getting worse. If he loses any more weight he's going to be skinnier than you." She held a decent amount of curve but she was still pretty petite and for a guy of Eliot's size the comparison was drastic.

"Why didn't he tell me?" She moved to sit and he followed.

"Sarah how do you expect him to share anything with you when you've shut him out completely?" They still weren't talking and after too many failed attempts Aaron had decided to stay out of it.

"He threw me out!"

"And you said he was a no good coward that's pretty much wasted his life!" Did she not see the pattern.

"I was mad." She did regret calling him a coward.  
>Everything he had done for them was proof enough that he wasn't.<p>

"And you don't think that he isn't?"

"How is he?" It was reasonable that he too would be angry but with news like this she could easily put all of those feelings to the side.

"It's El, he's fighting of course.." He was proud of his brothers determination but the feeling didn't keep.  
>It didn't seem to matter this time. "but it's kicking his ass."<p>

"What about treatments? Are they doing anything for him?" He hadn't looked so great the last time she saw him and to hear it was worse.. well she didn't want to imagine.

"He's got himself a decent doctor and he's doin' his best but it ain't much.  
>Eliot's got a few different things he's on to manage the symptoms but between the side affects and this illness he's damn near bed ridden." Aaron hadn't let Ashlee know most of this so she wouldn't worry or pry as she planned the wedding.<p>

Only problem was whenever she asked for his opinion his mind would wander over to his brother and how it would only take one wrong turn for Eliot to not only miss the wedding but every other important thing that happened in his life.

"You're kidding!" A hand flew over her mouth in slight surprise but mainly to cover how loud she had gotten. Pete only knew bits and pieces of certain things and the kids were completely in the dark. They didn't even know that Eliot was in the same state and right now that was how she'd like to keep it.

"I'm worried.." It hadn't gotten him anywhere the last dozen times but with a deep breath he suggested it again. "and I think you should go see him. I know you don't like Nate but the guy's solid. He's still right there with Eliot even after all of this and it's 24/7. The man's dedicated and after all I've seen I can tell you he ain't gonna change, he ain't goin' nowhere."

"It's not that I don't like Nate it's ju- ...wait." She stopped her absent ministrations with the salt shaker as his words sunk in. "How is he with Eliot all day? Doesn't he have to work?" Surely he had some kind of job that was paying for the rent and bills.

"He's his own boss, he has himself a little business that he's been running out of the house... and you'd know this if you bothered to meet the guy half way!" That had been close and he had to hand it to Eliot for how easy he made it look to be honest while staying deceptive.

"That's the thing." Sarah sighed as she glanced at the clock. "I don't think Eliot wants me to. A lot of things were said that shouldn't have been and me going over there is bound to make it worse."

"There's no way you can make it worse." She obviously had something to say to that but he didn't let her. "God forbid but what if something happens to him? If tomorrow comes and he's not here? Do you really want your last memories to be of some stupid argument?"

Faintly she could hear Eliot's angry voice claiming himself as a loser. "If worst comes to worst and I don't get another chance to talk to him at least I know my last words would've seriously been I love you." They had nearly made Eliot cry, hell he had. "What were yours?"

Her lip quivered and her eyes burned as she thought of exactly that. "I'll go."

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"That guy was a creep." Hardison stuck his nose up in distaste at the picture of Slone Nate was staring at as he took a seat next to him.

"He is a creep." Sophie corrected as she pulled the picture and papers away from Nate and put a plate in there place.  
>He pushed it away but Parker was quickly returning it to its spot as she sat with her own.<p>

"What did I tell you about bringing Steve to the table?" The only reason the kitten was even allowed in the house was because Eliot had taken a liking to her.

"Parker put the cat down, Nate eat your food." Sophie advised as she sat next to Hardison at the circular table.  
>She had returned from seven glorious weeks in Europe a little over a month ago to find not a recovered but a sickly Eliot.<p>

"It's weird to be sitting here like this without Eliot forcing us to try his new twice baked something or other." Hardison grumbled as he pulled his fork through he didn't even know what. He wasn't one for family dinners, especially when a big part of that family was missing.

"Force?" The word brought everyones attention to the doorway where Eliot had himself propped. "Last I remember making something you were willingly stuffin' that gullet."

"I don't like to waste." Normally he'd have had a better comeback for that but he was too busy summing up the shape El was in to think of appropriate insults.

Eliot tried for a huff but it turned into a cough that had both Parker and Nate at his side. "What are you doing Bubba?"

"That's dinner ain't it?" It seemed like they were trying to steer him back toward the hall but he was determined to enter the kitchen.

For days he had been in that room hearing whispers and yelling, shouting and shushing, the loudest being the voice in his head. Constantly it repeated, 'they're talking about you' and he couldn't take it any longer.

"Heck yeah.. here you can have my chair." Hardison offered as he scooted it over and moved to get a stool for himself. "Hell you can have my plate if you want it."

"I think we can manage to get him a plate of his own Hardison." Sophie reprimanded as she stood to do just that.  
>She didn't cook for just anyone so they'd better show their appreciation by at least eating it.<p>

"What is it?" Eliot did his best to sound interested instead of skeptical as he settled at the table.  
>The only thing he could make out was what he believed to be some form of potatoes and it already had his stomach feeling uneasy.<p>

"Good question." Nate commented as he took a sip from his ever present whiskey.  
>Eliot's eyes were understanding which peeved him all the more.<br>They should be accusing but they were knowing instead, right now drinking was his best way to cope.

"I think it's Frenchie.." Parker mock whispered. "but Steve seems to like it."

"Hey now! Don't you go feeding that to the cat!" Sophie was obviously becoming offended.

"Where is Steph?" Eliot had taken to calling her Stephanie, much like the others he couldn't see calling a cat, let alone a female cat Steve.

"She's under the table." Both Parker and Nate answered.

"This here is an authentic shepherd's pie," Sophie brought attention back to her masterpiece as Eliot bent under the table to presumably retrieve the kitten. "you'll never taste another like it."

"You can say that again." Parker would honestly say a mud pie held more appeal.

"Yeah Soph, is there a certain reci-"

"Eliot?" Hardison's worried voice cut through the conversation and what Nate was about to say.

"El?" He hadn't answered Hardison so Nate placed a hand on his shoulder to coax him back up.  
>Instead he fell from the chair and near immediately started shaking.<p>

"Oh God.. he's seizing." Sophie's words were shaky as Nate joined Eliot on the floor, Hardison pulled the table back, and Parker moved chairs to make room.

"Call an ambulance." Nate had Eliot's head turned to the side in his lap trying to insure he didn't choke.  
>A seizure was the last thing they needed right now.<p>

With one last look at Eliot Hardison left to make that call, he couldn't help but think there were easier ways to get out of eating Sophie's shepherd's pie.

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><p><strong>EN:Good? Bad?  
>Let me know what you think!<strong>


	42. Chapter 42

** I know... and I'm sorry but right about this time of year I always seem to lose internet access.  
>I wanted to give ya'll a holiday chapter but it didn't happen which disappointed me more than it probably would've any one of you.<br>Thanks to all the new readers I loved hearing from you.. and hi to the old (you know who you are... I love you guys) hopefully this will begin to make up for the horrible lack of chapters lately.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Two<strong>

"So maybe the car accident wasn't at fault." Jordan relented as he took a bite of his sub.  
>He and Torlyn had taken to meeting once a week for dinner to discuss the mystery "Spencer" had become.<p>

"Ya think." Jordan had been pushing for improvement time but now that they seemed to be on the same page maybe they'd get somewhere.

"I'm still saying it's bacterial. I mean what else throws this much at you?" His chips were popped open as he reviewed what they knew.  
>The only thing that seemed cut and dry from this case were the guys tingly toes.<p>

"Theres been no signs of bacteria." Sean passed over a napkin as he grabbed a fork for himself.  
>Jordan's manners might be lacking but his knowledge wasn't, that and he was a great vent.<p>

"So it's hiding." Jordan shrugged off both the words and the napkin.

"Bacteria assuming an identity other than its own?"

"Exactly!" Jordan didn't seem to hear the skepticism. "And if it's been playing dress up this entire time than who are we to say what it really looks like?"

"Or how long it's been there?" That was the one thing that was never questioned.  
>It all started with the car accident.<p>

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" They had nearly every day for the last three months logged but not a single thing before that.

"We need to find out about March. January and February too, possibly December." This new opening felt like rain after a drought.  
>"I can't believe I've been letting this car accident blind me."<p>

"Focus!" If they beat themselves up over everything they missed they'd be nothing more than patients themselves and who would that help?  
>"When are the results from the serological tests coming in?"<p>

"I should have them by the morning bu-" He paused in his thoughts and his dinner as his phone began to ring.

"Forget to ask permission before you left the house?"

"Dr. Torlyn" Sean rolled his eyes at the comment as he listened to what was being said. "When?... What about stabilization? ...Alright, I'm coming in."

"Didn't you just get done telling Freddie to lay off the french fries?" Jordan presumed the conversation had been about Tom, Sean's newest patient.  
>The guy was barely 5'10 and on the other half of 300 pounds. "The heart attack should be expected if he insists on deep frying the thing."<p>

"It was about Spencer." Torlyn stood having already dropped money on the table.

"So at least finish dinner. It isn't like he'll be going anywhere." With that he picked up his own sub, intent on finishing the meal.

"He seized."

"Damn it." Sean shook his head as Jordan dropped his sandwich and they headed for the door.  
>He wasn't sure if the words held anger toward the situation or the fact that he hadn't even finished half his hoggie, which was probably a good thing.<p>

Meatballs weren't the best meal for a middle aged man, not unless he wanted to end up like fat Freddie.

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"What are you thinking?" Sophie asked Nate as she sat down with a newly retrieved cup of tea.  
>Strangely enough he looked right at home in his dank waiting room chair.<p>

"Seizures are greatly associated with CFS."

"I thought it wasn't CFS?"

"Don't taunt me!" The last thing he needed was her rubbing the salt in. "I already know what you think and I don't need to hear it yet again."

"It isn't a taunt. I trust your judgment, the team as a whole believes in your thoughts, so now isn't the time for you to start doubting them." She patted his knee with a reassuring hand. "You say it isn't CFS so I too am saying it isn't CFS."

"And if it is?" He asked as she flipped her hand and he placed his in it.

"Then you do what you do best."

He didn't have the heart to tell her, or any of them really, that he was running out of plans. "I always do."

"You know... if this wasn't so personal it would make a tragically wonderful tale of romance." The classic line of love trials.

"You'd have to put some romance in it first." Nate grumbled as he leaned back some and crossed his feet.

"I take it your sleeping on the couch isn't solely because he's in pain then?" Though she spent nearly all of her time at the house she'd rented a condo and most mornings when she'd arrive he'd still be sleeping on said couch.

"He doesn't want me in there." The half dozen times he had literally slammed the door in his face had made that clear.

"He doesn't know what he wants." Sophie assured as she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I beg to differ there Soph." If Eliot was anything at all he was a man that knew what he wanted.

"Nate he's used to being a solid support, not needing one. He said it himself ...self control is everything to him and slowly he's been losing that.  
>Right now your relationship is the only thing he can control."<p>

"And he's got it set for self destruct." Nate sighed as he rubbed his free hand across his face.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Never would she have imagined giving advice on this relationship, especially not when she still struggled with similar emotions, but neither would she have imagined them in their current situation.

"I... I'm.." It wasn't a question he could answer, at least not for Sophie. Instead he asked, "What happened with you and Stan?"

"I decided I'd be better off going my own way." She'd leave out that she came to that conclusion only a little over a week after they arrived in Europe.

"I'm sorry to hear that." What else was he supposed to say?

She nodded simply. "I really know how to pick them."

"Hey!" The hurt he feigned made her smile which turned into a laugh that he was soon echoing.

"My.. my picks haven't been much better." Sophie's echo of his earlier, "Hey" had him laughing anew.

"You know.." Sophie started as she stared into bright blue eyes... and when did he get so close?

"I know.." Nate agreed to he didn't even know what as he stared at the lips those words had come from.

"You know" She started again as she tried to figure why he would say he knew what she had yet to say.

'I know" He stressed as he leaned in until he could feel the warmth of her breath against his own lips.

"Nate" She knew this was a horrible idea, that Nate had drunk his fair share that day, that Eliot had been as cold as ice to him lately and this was nothing more than loneliness. She should probably move away, be the rational one, but his eyes were pleading and she just wasn't that good of a person.

She leaned in and just as soon as she did so he jerked back. "Soph I.. I'm.."

Nate was quick in putting distance between them as he attempted to get sense flowing back through his brain. "I'm sorry."

"So am I."She offered as she stood figuring it best to make herself scarce for awhile.

"Damn it!" His foot immediately began throbbing as it connected with the wall but it didn't feel like even half of what he deserved.

What had he just done?

Eliot was he didn't even know where and here he was about to ruin everything.

He could be considered a lot of things, had been called plenty of them, but unfaithful was never one.

He wasn't a cheater.

Yet he had nearly done just that.

"God Eliot" In a huff he dropped back into his chair burying his head in his hands.  
>Everything they had been through, everything he had put Eliot through, all the work it had taken to build something decent... and he had been on the verge of destroying it.<p>

With Sophie none the less.

Any other girl would have been a guilty speed bump for them but Sophie.. she'd have them ship wrecked.

He felt like an ass.. and not even because of what he almost did.  
>No, it was because somewhere a part of him wanted to follow her and put reason behind his feelings of guilt.<p>

"You alright?" Came Hardison's mumbled voice through covered ears.

"Whatdya think?" He lifted his head just in time to see the accusation settle in those dark eyes.

"That you need to pull it together man." Eliot's lurking had rubbed off, well at least enough so that it had him watching Nate and Sophie undetected.

"Why don't you mind your own?" He was mad at himself so of course he'd take it out on Hardison.

"I can do that.. but you should probably do the same.  
>That's unless you want things to go back to how they was in November." Yeah he said it.<br>There was no doubt in his mind that Eliot would be gone quicker than before if he got wind of what these two had been trying to pull.

"Is that a threat?" Nate's back went stiff. He'd been too busy beating himself up to think of actually telling Eliot but if Hardison was planning to rat he had no choice but to squeal on himself first. He was screwed and technically he hadn't even done anything wrong.

"No, I wouldn't do that to him..." With everything Eliot was dealing with he wouldn't be the one to drop that baggage on top. "and hopefully you don't either."

"Is there something you wanted?" Nate took all three meanings in stride as he switched topic.  
>Hardison wasn't going to tell, Hardison didn't think he should either, and he was warning him not to mess things up with Sophie again unless he wanted Eliot to repeat last years disappearing act.<p>

"Yeah.." Hardison assured as he switched his stance. "me and Parker figured out where El's at. She's with him now."

"And?" He had done the whole devoted boyfriend thing.  
>It wasn't doing him a bit of good and in all honesty he was getting tired of it.<p>

"And? I just tell you I know where you can find the man after a friggin' seizure and all you gotta say is and!  
>Maybe you should go find Sophie."<p>

"You better watch yourself." Nate was completely threatening as he pushed past and it left Hardison attempting to hide a smirk as he followed.  
>He knew that would get him moving.<p>

"He's just down the hall from where he was last time." Hardison's offer had Nate turning the corner and he soon took lead to point out which room he was referring to. "He was sleeping." He advised as he opened the door and he and Nate walked in.

"Has anybody been in yet?" Nate asked Parker as he took in a sight that was becoming all too familiar.

"No but he's been talking." She was still trying to figure his words out.

"He was up?" Hardison asked as he glanced at the clearly sleeping man.  
>Now he knew he hadn't been gone that long.<p>

"No just talking.  
>He called somebody Mariah.. maybe Marissa..<br>I'm not sure but I think he said something about a crib." It didn't make sense and in all likely hood she had probably heard wrong.

"Wouldn't know." Nate lied.  
>He and Eliot had yet to pick up that conversation and he sure wouldn't be doing it with Hardison and Parker.<br>"You two should probably get going though.. I'd say it's past time to call it a night."

"I could stay," Parker offered. She wouldn't say Nate was drunk but he sure wasn't sober and she didn't know if that was the best way to leave him with Eliot. "if you want."

"Just bring coffee in the morning.. and find Sophie. Tell her to go home."

"Oh I'll make sure she gets home." Hardison swore.  
>No way was he giving them two the chance to be in the same building tonight.<br>Not after what he had just witnessed.

"How do you feel about cleaning a litter box?" Was the last thing Nate heard as they pulled the door closed behind them.

It wasn't all that late but it felt it for how the day had been going and still tomorrow he needed to go and follow through with Slone.

"Eliot" He couldn't do this anymore.

After that last confrontation things were supposed to get better but they had only gotten worst.  
>Eliot had completely quit on him and this wasn't something he could do on his own.<br>He didn't want to, he wanted help, he needed it, and Eliot refused to offer it.

If him being sick was their only problem then they'd be good as gold but that was far from it and.. he just couldn't do it anymore.  
>"Eliot wake up.. we need to talk." He didn't get an answer but then again he didn't expect one as he shook his arm. "Eliot!"<p>

His patience was non existant as he waited for him to wake.  
>The anger he was feeling was centered toward self but he let it bubble anyway knowing he'd need it if he was to follow through with his plans.<br>"Eliot" Blue eyes slowly opened and it had him realizing that they must have given him something.

"Na'e" It was slurred and barely understandable and Nate wasn't sure if that was from the meds or after affects of the seizure but it bothered him. "Wha' you doin' 'ere?"

"Where else would I be?" He was a chicken.  
>The first words Eliot had spoken to him in weeks that weren't filled with hate had his resolve crumbling.<p>

'You got.. he's gonna.. he's.."

"Shh" Nate hushed as Eliot struggled with finding and forming words. "I don't need to be anywhere but here."

"Wha' 'appened?" More memory trouble, great.

"Don't worry about it.  
>All that's important now is you getting better, everything else can wait." He only hoped.<p>

"I'm sorry." Eliot reached a hand out for his own but he didn't take it.

Instead he sat in the chair at the very bottom of the bed. "We're just going to hold off on things for a while alright.  
>Well figure us out after you start getting better." It wasn't a split like he had originally decided but this way just might work better.<br>Whether you call it a break, a stand still, or even a pause it was giving him the time to sort things through without the fear of them worsening.

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He was supposed to be heading to Spencer's room but he couldn't bring himself to show with more bad news so instead he was hoping to find last minute answers in his office. Seizing was quickly added to the ever growing list of possible symptoms.

The fevers, headaches, vomiting, and joint pain were all persistent in presence but not very specific to any one thing.  
>They had tried many a test, and quite a few samples but with the luck they were having it'd be easier to tell you what he didn't have.<p>

"Ding-dong" and surely enough an actual ding-dong was thrown at him from the doorway. "Aren't you supposed to be checking progression on the Spencer kid?"

"I was just about ready to do that." Torlyn set down his pen as he placed the chocolate cake from Jordan to the side.

"His seizing cause any damage... or better yet bring any insight?" Jordan questioned as he grabbed himself a seat.

"Some speech was all I noticed but I'll get a complete eval come morning.  
>As for insight.. I'd get a better view blind." He'd picked up on a slight lisp and definite slur but he was nearly positive it would only be short term.<p>

"Well maybe these will help you see." Jordan shrugged as he passed an envelope across the desk. "I went to the lab and got them myself."

"Thanks" The accomplishment wasn't all that great but he acknowledged it none the less as he broke the seal on his test results. "In.. inconclusive!" His words were both disbelieving and angry as he double checked the papers before tossing them in a fit.

"Geeze Mr. Moody, you think the emotions are high enough up there?"

"Jordan this isn't a game." Another test that they had to pay for and it hadn't even been worth the pot.

"I know that. Just like I know this case has been sucking you dry."

"What did you say?" Torlyn's head popped up from the file he had been filling in at those words.

"That this case is like a bad leech.  
>If you let it it will take everything you got." Jordan watched Sean's face turn from puzzlement to concentration and it was weird.<br>The meaning of his words didn't need that much thought.

"A leech?"

"Yeah a leech." Jordan stressed a word Torlyn was making sound foreign. "You know.. those little blood suckers."

"A blo-" His word cut as a thought struck and slowly a smile started to appear.

"What?" He didn't see where Sean was putting all of this or where leeches fit.  
>He doubted this Spencer would have overlooked something like that.<p>

"No way!" Sean shook his head in disbelief even though in all reality he was hoping it true.  
>It sure fit. "There's just... there's no way!"<p>

"For what?" Jordan stood as Torlyn did.  
>Apparently he planned on taking everything he had from the Elliott case with him.<p>

"I can't believe it."

"Well neither can I." Jordan snipped.  
>He wanted to be led on to the good news and cheery mood too.<p>

"It's.." He couldn't even find the words.

If this was what he thought they were actually pretty well on base. "Jordan.. I think I just might love you."

He wiped his face from the unexpected kiss that Torlyn had placed on his cheek as he watched the man take off down the hall. "You're welcome."  
>Now if only he knew what for. "... and I'm telling your wife!" A laugh met his ears and he offered a matching.<p>

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><p><strong>EN: So whatdya think?  
>Am I forgiven?<strong>


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter Forty-Three**

She had called Aaron this morning to confirm Eliot would be at home before showing.  
>He had called back twenty minutes later after a call to Nate to inform that Eliot was back in the hospital.<p>

That news suddenly had her unsure if she wanted to go but with a little (ordering) from Aaron she was dropping the kids off with a friend and heading to the hospital.

His room wasn't hard to find but entering was a different story entirely.  
>She'd been standing in the hall for close to fifteen minutes trying to figure what she would say once she got in there.<br>Sorry was sensible, probable even, but it wasn't likely.  
>She just didn't feel like she was in the wrong.<p>

"Can I help you?"One of the nurses that had been eyeing her finally asked.

"No I'm just.." She was getting a serious stank look and it had her pointing to the room with a forced smirk as she grabbed for the door handle. Here went nothing.

The first thing she saw upon entering was Eliot's back, the television too low to be offering anything other than back round noise. "Eliot?"

She'd have thought him to be asleep if it wasn't for her going around the bed to find him staring absently. "Eliot?"  
>He didn't acknowledge her presence and it left her unsure of what she should do.<p>

She glanced between him, the door, and the television before grabbing a chair and pulling it to the bed. "So?"  
>As she glanced around the room she noticed that ever present person Aaron had been swearing by was absent. "Where's Nate?"<p>

"Work" The word didn't sound right as it left his mouth but she kept the comment to herself.

"Well that's good." Talk about awkward.

"Yeah" He offered as he tried his best to keep attention on her.  
>Apparently his doctor had gotten held up somewhere because he had yet to visit, but a nurse had.<br>She'd explained quite a bit on facial paralysis and Nate had absorbed just about it all but all he had taken from the conversation was that that was the apparent reason for his difficulty blinking. That and it would go away within a few days.

"So how have you been doing?" It was a stupid question but it was the first she had come up with.

"I jus' had a seizure Sarah." It came out more like 'Sea shore' but she caught his drift.

"Eliot what are you doing?"

"I got bored." She smiled at the unintentional line.  
>Eliot had always asked that question and his answer had always been her reply.<p>

"You 'member the las' time I asked you that?"

"Yeah. Ma's still got the mark on the wall." He smiled faintly and it had her remembering how they could be.  
>She missed it. "Eliot I'm sorry alright. It's just all gotten to be too much lately and I couldn't handle it.<br>You're the only person I know that can get under my skin so bad and this time.. well you really did."

So much for not apologizing but then again he always had her doing things she normally wouldn't.  
>"But you're right... well at least about you and Nate.<br>I married a man before you got to meet him so who am I to judge you dating one I don't know." The apology Nate had given her spoke great deals about the kind of person he was. "Your relationship is your business."

"I didn't lie." An apology from her was like getting money from Parker so in the very least he'd try to meet her half way.

"Eliot"

"No.. At Christmas I told you things were done with us because they were." He reached over to grab the remote that would adjust the bed as he did the same with himself. "We had barely started things back up when you met him."

"How'd you meet him?" The enviroment actually seemed settled which she was thankful for.

"Work" She huffed at that, she should've guessed.

"So it was instant than?"

"Hell No!" She probably shouldn't be laughing but the lisp he had picked up made that statement all the funnier.  
>"I could barely stand him at first. Then I tolerated him but he still annoyed me to death and then.. well I don't even know." If they were anywhere near normal he'd probably be able to say something simple like, 'I met him at a bar'.<p>

"How'd you end up dating a guy you didn't like?" He was speaking about progression which meant they worked together for a good while, something she hadn't known.

"We had a fight."

"You have a lot of those?" An argument didn't sound like the best way to start a relationship.

"I'm stubborn, he's hard headed.. it happens." He shrugged it off without much thought.  
>They were how they were and he knew that wouldn't change.<p>

"Is that what happened at Christmas?" Him being there was nice but she sure hadn't planned around it.

"Right after my birthday things blew up and well.. I work with him.  
>I leave him I lose my work so I came down this way looking for some.<br>If I didn't spend Christmas with you I would've been in some hotel instead." With the way he phrased that she was feeling extremely loved, not.

"Well you're always welcome to come stay with me instead of some hotel." He looked worn out, exhausted even and she couldn't help but think he could use a very long nap.

He seemed to read those thoughts as he settled with a yawn but she broke it with a question. "Is it hard?"

"Bein' here? Not really it's ju-"

"No. Dating him. Is it hard?" She had seen a bit of Nate's character and she knew Eliot's personality but she personally saw all kinds of clashing when she paired them.

"In general or because he's a guy?" She shrugged and it left him wondering which way he'd answer.  
>"Him bein' a guy is the easiest part of the whole thang. It's everything else that does us in.<br>A lot of people would probably say we're no good for each other but we ain't good for anyone else." Nate had been cold and distant to him since his arrival last night and he had finally sent him away early that morning.

"Is he good to you though?" That was all that mattered to her.

"I ain't been good to him lately Sarah." He could trash talk and complain all he wanted but that wouldn't change the truth.

"Why?" They stopped for a minute to listen to the footfalls nearing the door but continued as they passed.

"I don't like being like this.  
>I don't like ya'll seein' me like this and I just"<p>

"Got grumpy." She offered and he nodded with a smirk at her word choice.

"Especially to him. He's been good and he's been trying but I think he's just about had it.. and I don't blame him." This was what he wanted, it was for the best.

"Well I will." Sarah stated as she stood from her chair and took the spot next to him on the bed. "He's stupid if he thinks he can do better."

"Tell you what," He shook his head, his sister was a nut. "If we break up I'll call you... you can beat him up for me."

"I will too." He started laughing but she was serious.

"You're crazy." He offered simply as she shifted until her own back was resting against the bed.

"No more than you." She dropped her head to his shoulder but he was soon rearranging them until he could wrap an arm around hers.

"I'm sorry too Sarah." He barely offered as he shut his eyes in memory of a little boy opening his.  
>Many a night she and teddy would stumble through his door asking if there was any more room and though that was a long time ago this felt no different.<p>

"Brian missed you on his Birthday." She wasn't trying to make him feel guilty but she wanted to let it be known so he'd mend his wrong doing.

"Damn.. when was it?" To be honest if asked he wouldn't even be able to tell you the date.

"Friday. It would mean the world to him if you visited." She was pressed against his side and had to admit Aaron was right, she was feeling quite a few ribs.

"I don't want them seeing me like this." He knew he looked an absolute mess, he sure felt it and he didn't want the kids witnessing it.

"Eliot"

"I'll call when I can." He assured as he stretched his ever aching knee.

"Alright" He sounded tired and she planned on keeping things relaxed so he could rest possibly sleep even.

"Did you give him a nice party?" The simple sharing was taking his mind away from dark thoughts and pains which in his book was a blessing.

"We set it all up for him but he wasn't too happy with the haircut I made him get for it." She wouldn't share Brian's disappointment, Eliot already seemed disappointed enough.

"Why wont you leave that boys hair alone?" It seemed like every time he talked to her she was getting that kids hair cut.

"It grows really fast! Besides he doesn't need to take after you any more than he already does."

"Was that a diss against my hair?" He pulled at a strand in defense but he would relent to it not being in the greatest of shape at the moment, much like him.

"Yes!" Sick or not he was looking extremely shaggy.

"What's wrong with it?" He had first grown it out to fit in with the locals but had quickly come to like it.

"When's the last time you cut it?" No way would he be asking that question if he'd gotten any decent kind of look in a mirror lately.

He opened his mouth with plans of a snarky reply but shut it with the realisation of not having one. "I don't remember."

"Well then that settles it." She moved to sit up as she took a good look at what she'd be working with.

"Settles what?" The glint in her eye was devious.

"I'm cutting your hair." The opportunity was too good to miss.

"No you are not." She'd have better luck saying she was setting it on fire.

"Oh come on. I'll get the clipper"

"A.. a clipper?" His eyes widened, no way would he let that happen.

"Yeah a clipper. We'll just take it all off and let you start over."

"And that idea right there is why you are not touching my hair." It had taken a long time to get his hair grown out the way he wanted and he wasn't touching it now.

"Alright we wont buzz it. What about faded in the back with length to style on top?" That was about the way Aaron kept his most of the time.

"I don't think so." If anyone was cutting his hair it would be more for a trim than anything.

"Boy band-ee?" That one was far fetched and she wasn't surprised when he swiftly turned it down. "Will you go for anything above the ears?"

He shook his head no, his luck he'd end up with a bad bowl cut.

"In the very least can we take off a couple inches?" She couldn't get an exact idea of the length because of the way he was slouching but her best guess would say it was sitting around the shoulder blades.

"Alright" The devious glint was back and it quickly had him asking, "How much?"

"Like six inches."Any less and a haircut would be pointless.

"Two maybe." She seriously had it out for his hair.

"Four at the very least." If she only did two it would still be right there with his shoulders.

"I'll think about it." She was persistent and he knew that was the quickest way to get the subject dropped.

"Good because I'm cutting it just as soon as you get out of here." She stated as she leaned back against him.

"I can't wait." Eliot spoke dryly as he dropped his head back onto his pillow.  
>The daze he was desperately trying to shake off had everything but pain just out of reach.<p>

"I bet." She snarked before an ad on the television pulled her attention away from him. "Eliot"

She had only lost focus for a moment but apparently it was long enough for him to drift off. "Oh Eliot."  
>She hugged a chest that was more boney than broad. "You better get better for us.. we need you."<br>Sarah only glanced at his face for a second before burying hers in his shoulder, he looked ghostly. "I need you."

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"Is he gonna go back to the hospital?" Hardison whispered as he switched his stance in the alley.

"I don't know..." Parker whispered back exasperatedly as she leaned in to hear him over the sirens. "ask him."

"Well I would if-" He was about to say if he was here but the thought was cut short as Nate came flying down the stairs with an ordered, "Go, Go, Go!"

"Think you cut it kind of close this time!" Sophie yelled as she pulled up and they quickly jumped in.

"We had plenty of time to spare." That's why he was breathing harder than if he'd just run a marathon.

"Where to?" Away from the cops was obvious as she quickly pulled out of the alley but she needed more direction than that.

"The house."

"Aren't you gonna go see Eliot?" Hardison finally asked.  
>All of yesterday he had been reminding them to keep the morning clear but then today he shows well before the time they needed to leave with an attitude and no explanation.<p>

"We have other things to do."

"Like?"

Parker rolled her eyes as Hardison scooted forward and she back.  
>This was probably closer to round 30 something but it might as well have been 792.<p>

"For starters you need to cut the grass." It was a lame excuse but it was the first he had come up with.

"And why can't you!" He wasn't a lawn care service.

"Who do you think's been doing it this whole time!" In all actuality ten dollars got the kid up the street to do it but Hardison didn't need to know that.

"Well surely there's more to it than mowing the lawn?" Sophie sent the question over to Nate as she turned the corner. If this had anything to do with what hadn't happened between them they'd be having words.

"You and Parker are going to find us our next client and I've got to go smooth out some wrinkles with Eliot's health insurance." From an insurance point of view sure so many similar tests done so close together seemed suspicious but from a patients stand point it was the most logical.

"What's wrong with his insurance?" Now that caught Parker's attention.  
>She had helped Hardison to make sure his case would be nothing but smooth seeing as Nate threatened anything not covered would be paid with her personal funds.<p>

"He's got the kind of agent I used to be." Except him being a hard ass in antiquities never stopped anyone from getting treatment that could quite literally mean life or death.

"Well anyway after that are you going?"Hardison asked anew.  
>Even if what they had to do took all night he could still go thanks to a new 24 hour visitation policy.<p>

"Maybe." There they went hounding again and honestly?  
>He kind of preferred it when nobody knew about his relationship with Eliot.<br>It seemed like things had been easier then.

"Well I'm gonna.  
>He shouldn't have to be alone wh-"<p>

"He's not alone Hardison!" He didn't like what the implication suggested. "And he doesn't need anyone holding his hand. He's a grown man for Gods sake!"

"Alright then." Hardison grumbled more to shut Nate up than anything.  
>Once he finished the damn grass he was so going.<p>

"Oh look," Parker spoke blankly as she grabbed for her door handle. "We're here."  
>She didn't stop to listen to what Sophie had to say as she got out and closed the door.<p>

In all actuality they were stopped at a light and nowhere near the house but she didn't care.

Those three were always fighting about the same thing, Eliot, and she was sick of it.  
>She was also positive that it had been making Eliot worse.<p>

He was supposed to be resting, recuperating, but she knew that wasn't really happening because they weren't giving him a chance to.  
>Instead he had to listen to their half cocked nonsense which surely had him wanting to run away; she knew she would.<p>

"Well," A look around told her she had absolutely no clue where she was. "crappity."

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An apartment complex fire had all hands on deck including him.  
>Thankfully none of the cases had been as bad as they had prepared for but after working through the night, giving his entire shift the grand total of eighteen hours, he had been thinking of nothing more than a bed.<p>

It wasn't until after a few hours sleep that he remembered what he had been up to the previous night and it had him going back to the hospital even though he had the next few days off.

"Julie is Spencer still sitting tight?"

"He's right where you left him." She offered with a smile and the patients file.

"Thanks" It didn't take long for him to reach the correct door and for the first time in forever he wasn't dreading walking through it.

Upon entering he expected to find like always an impatient Nate, instead he found Nate to be absent and a woman to be sleeping on the other side of an alert Spencer who was staring at him coldly.

Who she was or where Nate was wasn't concern of his as he walked further into the room.  
>All that mattered now was the confirmation of his newest discovery. "Mr. Elliott"<p>

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><p><strong>EN: Any thoughts?  
>I for one have more questions than answers at the moment.<strong>


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter Forty-Four**

When Sarah had fallen asleep he didn't know but he had woken to find her so under his right arm.

He was aching and the arm was tingling and all kinds of numb but he didn't dare move in fear of waking her.  
>She had apparently decided to stay with him which though he wouldn't ask it was nice seeing as he'd otherwise be on his own.<p>

Usually that wasn't something that would bother him but he couldn't bring himself to relax with all the foreign foot falls drumming.  
>Like the ones that were approaching his door.<p>

Immediately he was focused on the door that was soon opening and even though the face that came through it was familiar none of his tension eased. "Mr. Elliott."

"Doc" It was unintentional but the word seemed to stir Sarah.  
>She was quick in removing herself from the bed and excusing herself to the bathroom.<p>

"Did the RN come and explain your seizure and its after effects?" Torlyn figured that to be the best place to start since it was the main reason Spencer was currently there.

"She didn't say what caused it." The last thing he remembered clearly was asking Parker about the kitten.

Plenty of people had told him he seized but it had only sunk in a few hours ago and barely had he started believing it.

"Well you've got three types of seizures."

"Epileptic" Eliot answered with the first that came to mind.  
>He was sure he'd all but explode if his doctor started talking epilepsy.<p>

"Then non epileptic and finally in your case provoked." That he was sure which he thanked God for.

"Provoked by?" Provoked.  
>It made it sound like he had been looking for trouble.<p>

"I believe it to have been a mix of anxiety and your meds which we'll soon be changing."

"And once you do that what are my chances of having another?" He wasn't sure what he wanted the answer to be but he knew he needed one.  
>This whole ordeal had been testing a very different kind of strength and he was now seeing things from a different light.<p>

"There is the chance but it's only the slightest.  
>Honestly I," He paused in his words as they glanced toward the opening bathroom door.<p>

Quickly Sarah pressed herself against the wall and out of the way and Torlyn continued. "I'd be outright shocked if you had another."

"So it isn't likely?" A percentage would be great.

"Not from what I've seen." Eliot had another light unexpectedly shined in his eyes as Dr. Torlyn presumably searched for what could have been overlooked.

"What now?" Sarah threw her two cents in trying to make sense of the half conversation she had walked into.

"How does going home sound?" That line always seemed to perk a patient right up and he was hoping this time would be no different.

"Good" The house wasn't his most cherished of places right now but it was heaven compared to being in a stale hospital room.

"Only good?" Torlyn wondered as he checked Spencer's blood pressure.  
>He really hadn't expected much more from the man. "How 'bout if I told ya you could go home… with a diagnosis?"<p>

"You're jokin'?" Disbelief was clear.  
>After so much bad news receiving good seemed unrealistic.<p>

"You ever heard of Lyme, Connecticut?"

For some reason it sounded familiar but he could honestly say, "No I haven't."

"That's where the first cases of Lyme were identified back in 1975."

"That's with the ticks right?" Sarah was near positive she had once read or studied this very subject.

"Not always but the majority of the time.  
>Lyme disease is most commonly seen in the east but then you got your deer ticks so it really isn't all that uncommon."<p>

"I have Lyme disease?" Eliot cut into his doctor's seemingly useless blubbering.  
>It all seemed to quick, too easy, and he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.<p>

"Finally it' all adding up." He didn't have proof to back the theory but that was because that's what Lyme did. It hid.

"So what's next? Treatment or.." Eliot was sure there were questions he should be asking but his brain was in a fog.  
>Things were sinking in too slowly and he was wishing Nate was here to hound Torlyn about all the things he probably should be.<p>

"Well start some Intravenous antibiotics which will get you on your way out of here but with the next visit we'll have to discuss delivery methods."

"What do you mean delivery? If you're giving him antibiotics why can't you just give him a prescription?" Sarah asked a question she believed Eliot should have.

"The Lyme's too far advanced for oral ingestion, we'll most likely insert a line to get it directly in the bloodstream, possibly a catheter." He spoke directly toward Eliot so he'd know what to prepare himself for.

"And how long is that for?" He was sure he should be happy.  
>They had finally found the road that would take him to the end of this ordeal, but frustration seemed to be coming easier.<p>

"The course of your treatment, which will hopefully be a little under a month." He thought that this news was great but maybe the sentiment wasn't shared.

"Hopefully?" Sarah was skeptical.  
>Hopefully was not a solid structure to build anything on.<p>

"Can we just… can we sort this later?" His mind wasn't in the right space to be grasping something of such importance and his stomach was starting to flip.

"Of course. We'll cover everything else at your next appointment and that way you'll have time to think of any questions you might have without feeling overwhelmed to ask everything at once."

"Thanks." The sooner he figured these things the better but right now he was only worried about getting everyone out of his face so he could be in peace.

"Alright. Well I'll get a nurse with that IV and start up the papers to get you out of here." Usually Spencer's demeanor was relaxed, calm even but he supposed everyone was entitled to their bad days.

"Pass me the phone?" Eliot asked as Dr. Torlyn left the room and Sarah moved closer.

"Who you callin'?" She sat on the bed as she placed the phone in his lap.

"Nate" Now all he had to do was remember the number.

"Is he still working?"

Eliot simply shrugged as he waited to be answered.

_"Hello?"_

"Nate I.."

_"Eliot I can't talk right now."_

"But I'm gonna nee-"

_"I've gotta go but I'll be there first thing in the morning alright?  
>Call me if you need anything."<em>

"That's why" but he didn't get to finish as a dial tone went off in his ear.

"Didn't get to say much huh?" Sarah questioned as he placed the phone back on the hook.  
>She didn't mention that he hadn't even managed a full sentence.<p>

"He was busy." Busy avoiding him.

"Well when is he gonna be unbusy because you'll be out of here within two hours."

"I'd say an hour and a half tops." Came a familiar voice from the door.

"Elaine" She brought a slight smile to Eliot's face.

"Now sugar didn't I tell you I didn't want to see that handsome face around here anytime soon?" She got straight to business in preparing his arm for the tubing.

"Well I tried staying away but I just missed you something awful." Even with a needle being pressed through his skin his smile was playful and she'd say he was quickly becoming one of her favorites.

"That's what they all say."

"Oh I'm sure they do."

She laughed as she quickly taped the fresh IV in place, it didn't make sense to her why one hadn't already been run. "You are something else."

"Only if you want me to be." He did his best to wink even though Sarah was looking at him like he'd just boarded a train to La La land.

"He's just something else!" Her smile matched his.

"All sweet talk and flattery." Sarah answered Elaine with a slight laugh.

"Well I'll be back in a bit to get you goin' sweetie."

"I'll be waitin' Darlin'."

As soon as Elaine left the room Sarah let out the girly giggle she had been trying to suppress.

"What?"

"She's got at least 30 years on you!" If she didn't already know that he was a serious flirt she'd be worried.

"You know what they say about experience." She cringed and he laughed.

"Eliot you're crazy."

"Hey she's better than some of the women I've dated." Kind of sad but true.

"And you actually admit it! Wow." If this was the way he ragged on his Ex's she was glad she hadn't met many.

"Shut it." With a deep breath he moved off his back which was starting to ache.

"You gonna call Nate again?" The phone was still on the bed and last time he hadn't said much so the question was valid.

"No" He felt like he was ready to pass out but wanted to be up and ready when the time came to leave.

"Then how are you getting home?" She stole one of his pillows to prop under an elbow.

"Is that your way of sayin' you aren't gonna give me a ride?" It had slipped his mind that he had no actual transportation.

"Is that your way of saying you're asking for one?" She wouldn't leave him stranded, that's why she asked.

"I could always call a taxi." He knew she'd help him out.

"Shut up!"

"Hey!" He hadn't been expecting it but she actually whacked him.

"Oh suck it up you big baby."

"RUDE!" He tried to sound outraged but it would barely pass annoyed and she started to laugh.  
>They both knew he wouldn't be taking a taxi.<p>

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"Excuse me." Hardison spoke impatiently to the woman sitting behind the nurses station.

"Yes?"

"I was just in Spencer Elliott's room and he wasn't there.  
>Can you tell me where he is?" It was clear that room was being prepared for someone new and he wanted to know where Eliot had gotten off to.<p>

"Of course." Quickly she began a patient search. "He's been.. discharged."

"What do you mean discharged?" He knew exactly what that meant but she better hope she meant something different.

"I mean he's not here, he left." She didn't see where the confusion had come from.

"With who!"

"That I don't know."

"Well can you tell me when?" She shook her head apologetically.

"Alright, well thanks anyway." With that he moved down the hall to make a call.  
>"Hey Nate! Have you been to the hospital?" He knew he had said he wasn't going but maybe Eliot had called to be picked up.<p>

"I'm not discussing this again."

"Naw.. that's not what I'm asking man.  
>I just want to know if Eliot's with you."<p>

"Well I don't know if you remember this or not but he's at the hospital Hardison."

"No he's not." He ignored Nate's sarcasm as uneasiness settled.

"What do you mean no he's not?"

"I mean I'm at the hospital and he isn't.  
>He's gone Nate."<p>

"I'll be there in five minutes."

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"Eliot" He had fallen asleep mere moments after getting in her car and hadn't budged since.

"Eliot wake up. We're going to go in." It took a good bit of nudging but finally he was opening a bleery eye.

"I'm tired." It was an understatement but it was what he offered as he turned away from where she was standing in his open door.

"I know, and as soon as we get to the guest room you can go back to sleep.  
>I promise." Her words got him to actually pay attention to where he was. Sarah's house.<p>

"Sarah you were supposed to take me home."

"I did!"

"Are you really going to start up with the real home and family crap again?" He had thought the whole purpose of her showing that day was because she wanted to move past all of that.

"Eliot we were at your place. I knocked but there was no answer and I checked but you don't have any keys on you." She ignored his accusation figuring she may have deserved it.

"You should have waited." Surely one of the three he lived with would have appeared.

"I did! For nearly half an hour we sat but no one showed." The driveway showed that they were the only ones at her place too.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because I knew you'd want to stay and I wasn't going to leave you on the porch.  
>If I could've we would've stayed longer but I've still got to go get the kids Eliot." He hadn't even unbuckled his seatbelt.<p>

"Where are they?" He would have made her leave long ago had he known she'd left the kids somewhere.

"With Michelle, and Pete will have my head if he finds out I left them there all day so we kind of need to hurry."

"Alright" Carefully he swung his legs out of the car after unbuckling the seat restraint and soon was standing.  
>It wasn't the best move but he denied Sarah's help as he picked up a stride toward the house that felt worse than breaking a leg.<p>

"Aaron stayed in there last so it should be decent but I'll bring you blankets and what not later." She offered as she unlocked the front door and they went through it.  
>He had already been complaining of being cold and since they were in July she knew the bed would be blanketless.<p>

"That's fine." Thankfully the room they were after was on the first floor, away from the kids and more importantly away from the stairs.

"Well I've gotta go but if you need anything I'll be back in twenty minutes tops.  
>Don't go pulling any stunts while I'm gone." She opened the door, turned on the light, and moved to leave.<p>

"Sarah"

"I know. You don't want the kids to see you but they never come in here so as long as you keep the door closed you should be good." She rushed to say as he sat on the bed.

"I was going to say thank you." All she offered was a slight smile as she pulled the door behind her.

He heard the front door close and suddenly silence swallowed him.  
>He couldn't remember the last time he had been completely alone without friend or physician.<br>It was strange.  
>Immediately he thought about the fit Nate would be pitching but then again Nate had blown him off so really it didn't matter. Still he made a note to call him first thing tomorrow so he'd know to come this way instead of going to the hospital.<p>

The light held a weird glow but he didn't feel like bothering with getting up to shut it off.  
>Instead he layed down, burying his face in the pillow.<br>With any luck tomorrow would be the start of new beginnings, they sure needed 'em.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: I was so excited to see all the newbies!  
>I'm glad you guys are liking it.. and trust me there's definitely more to come!<strong>


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: I don't know how I missed it but the last update was on our one year anniversary!  
>I guess that's how you can tell I'm over worked and under rested.. and though I should be putting<strong>  
><strong>an end to this (eighteen) hour day I've decided to write for ya'll instead! :)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Five<strong>

"Now I want ya'll to play out here," Sarah spoke quietly as she passed Becca a bottle of bubbles.  
>"and to stay quiet or I'm tellin' daddy not to take you to see Pop-pop and Nana."<p>

"Why?" Brian did his best not to whine.  
>Normally he was fine with being outside but her not coming with meant he was watching Becca.<p>

"Because I said so mister, now go." She shook her head as Rebecca mimicked her pointing out the door but with a stern look the little girl too was moving.

Moving back toward the toaster she removed the now done toast, grabbed the extra glass of juice she had poured that morning, and headed to the guest room. "Eliot?"

Her natural instinct having kicked in she hadn't slept well that night.  
>Every creak had her alert and she couldn't help but check on him a few different times. "Eliot are you up?"<p>

His moving to sit up answered the question. "What time is it?"

"About 8:30." She told him as she passed him the glass.

"Can I borrow your phone?" In the very least he could say he was doing a bit better.  
>Instead of feeling like hell he felt like crap.<p>

"After you eat something." She had seen the displeased way he was looking at the plate in her hands.

Glaring at the toast he grabbed a piece from her and bit it roughly. "Happy"

"I'll go get it." A rabid dog ate with more manners than he just used.

Usually Nate arrived at the hospital by 7 and it had him wondering how worried he'd be.

"Here." She passed him the house phone which had him thinking of the other people he surrounded himself with. Never would they be able to do something as simple as get a home phone in their name, everything always had to be disposable.

"So you're going to leave me already?"

"In the very least I've gotta let him know I'm alright." Eliot eased her disappointed.

"Clingy much." Sarah huffed.

"More like crazy." Eliot offered as he waited to be answered.  
>Knowing Nate he had already interrogated half the hospital.<p>

"Well that sounds just-" but Eliot put up a finger to silence her as he cut in with a, "Hey Nate."

"_Eliot?"_

"Yeah, I-"

"_Where the hell are you?"_

The outright anger he heard had him in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

"_We've been looking for you for nearly fourteen damn hours Eliot!"_

"That's not my fault! I tried-"

"_Not your fault! You should've said something!"_

"Did I not call you? You blew me off!"  
>No way was he getting yelled at.<p>

"_No one blew you off! You're Just too self centered to care about anyone else!"_

"So what? I should have asked for permission?" He wasn't stupid.  
>Neither was Nate.<br>No way had he spent fourteen hours searching for him.  
>No, he knew Nate knew exactly where he was.<br>This was just Nate bitching to bitch.

_"Yeah! If you're going to act like a child than yeah! You need to ask for permission!"_

"You know what Nate…" He didn't bother listening to anything else Nate was spewing as he tried to keep his own anger from seeping out in front of his sister. "Go fuck yourself."

Sarah put a hand over her mouth partly in shock as she tried not to laugh. "Oh my… I can't believe you just said that."

"He pisses me off!" If it was his phone he would've thrown it.  
>Instead he'd chosen to hang it up roughly.<p>

"Then why do you put up with it?" She hadn't gotten to hear the whole conversation but his parts pretty much cued her in to what had been said.

"Because I love the idiot." Others knew it but it was the first time he had admitted it in those exact words to anyone other than Nate.

"Well than you probably shouldn't have told him off like that." Hearing Eliot say something like that was strangely enough not strange.

"He'll get over it." That defiant little voice said Nate would possibly get over him.

"How 'bout you get up and go take a shower.  
>Then we'll go out with the kids, the sun will do you good."<br>He was way to pale, especially for a Southern boy who had Indian blood runnin' through his veins.

"Sarah" She knew how he felt.

"Oh come on!" There was a challenge sitting in his eyes but she wasn't afraid to match it.  
>"Unless you're tryin' to tell me that a little bitty bug has got my big brother licked."<p>

"Don't you wish." He stood with more strength than he had yesterday and it made her smile.  
>He was so easy.<p>

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"Yeah! If you're going to act like a child than yeah!  
>You need to ask for permission!" The group listened with a mix of emotions as Nate bludgeoned Eliot's ears.<p>

"No Eliot I don't know because," his words died off as an insulted anger crossed his face and they could only imagine what had been said as he hung up the phone.

"Do you really think 'Where the hell are you' was the best conversation starter?" Sophie dared to ask.

"Run it Hardison." He ignored Sophie as he referred to their newest client.

"Naw man.. I think she's right. It only took about an hour to find him and that was only because I had to run the cameras frame by frame so why'd you lie?  
>Unless you're trying to make him feel guilty or something."<br>The car Eliot had gotten into was registered to a Peter Williams.  
>Nate had recognized the girl, though he hadn't identified her, so facial recognition wasn't necessary.<br>Even now he had traced the phone Eliot was using to a P. Williams.  
>He was obviously at the dudes house.<p>

"Have we not been at it for fourteen hours?" Nate asked the group as a whole.

"If you mean waiting to hear from him than yes but you could say the same for Parker." Sophie compared.  
>Parker had just barely walked through the door a bit before dawn.<p>

"For once in your God forsaken lives can you just keep your opinions to yourselves?" He was tired of everyone but him "knowing" everything.

"And you wonder why he didn't want to come back here." Parker snarked as she put Steve down and picked up Hardison's remote.  
>If he wouldn't run it she would. "Our marks name is," A short snort came out at the irony. "Marc Belwinn."<p>

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"I can't believe this." Eliot grumbled as he walked from the bathroom.

"I told you they'd fit." He was standing in the doorway wearing clothes that had been borrowed from Pete.

"But he's a runt. A scrawny runt." Compared to him and Aaron Pete had the build of a pre-teen.

"And that scrawny runts clothes are actually looking a it big on you." His face was appalled which in itself was amusing.

"Now you're just being mean." Her bathroom had a full length mirror and he was disgusted by what he saw in it.

A broken man.

His body had lost near all of its fat, most of its muscle, and a good bit of tone.  
>Bones were sticking out in places they hadn't been visible before, many scars were freshly painted, and just as easy to see as the taunting tales he'd revealed.<p>

All of these things were disturbing but what disgusted him was the defeat hiding behind the surface.  
>Never had he given up and he'd sooner die than do it now.<p>

"Well if you wouldn't have started obsessing over your figure."

He smiled at her exaggerated words. "Where are the kids?"

"In the kitchen with animal crackers because apparently breakfast was hours and hours ago." In all actuality it was barely an hour ago.

"Well geeze Sarah why don't you feed them." Eliot teased as he followed her down the stairs.

"Who says I like them like that?" Sarah joked back which earned her a whap she supposed she deserved from the last time she did it to him.

"You be good to them kids."

"Yeah, yeah… yeah." She sighed as she entered the kitchen.

"Hey guys! Look who stopped by to get his hair cut."

"Are you still going on about that?" Eliot asked as he was immediately tackled by a dress and piggy tails.  
>Like always he lifted her but this time it took more effort than he'd care to admit.<p>

"Yes because I'm getting the scissors to do so right now." They had an agreement and no way was he backing out of it.

"Whan one?" He had sat with Becca and she was quick to offer her snack.

"Thank you." He took it to be kind but her eyes were as demanding as her mothers and soon he was placing it in his mouth.  
>Hopefully it stayed down, the toast hadn't.<p>

"Brian don't you have anything to say to your Uncle?" Sarah prodded.

"Hi" Clearly he was still upset.

"Hey bud." His prodding hadn't even earned him eye contact.  
>"Listen I'm sorry about missing out on your birthday but I… Well I was.."<br>What was the best way to explain barfing your brains out in a temperature induced haze to an eight year old?

"Uncle Eliot was sick." Sarah saved. "He wanted to come see you but he had to go see doctors instead."

"You have ouchies!" Becca's mouth dropped into a perfect 'o' as she stared at Eliot with complete seriousness.

"Not anymore princess. They're going to make them all go away."  
>She made it so hard not to try but he didn't think it possible to love the girl anymore than he already did.<p>

"I found the scissors!" Sarah sing songed. "Lets go!"

"Follow Momma." Eliot told Becca as he placed her on the floor.  
>Apparently Sarah was doing things outside. "Brian," He stood but still Brian sat. "I promise I'll make it up to you."<p>

"That's alright." He offered a slight smile as Eliot ruffled his hair.  
>The understanding clearly came from his father.<p>

"Come on." He nudged until Brian stood. "You can help me talk momma out of this."

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"So what did he say?" Sophie asked as she and Nate walked past security.

"That Vex associates is merely an employee fundamen-" Sophie cut him off by correcting herself. "I meant Eliot."

"We're trying to save a womans business here and you're asking about Eliot." He couldn't believe her. "But by all means lets stop and have this discussion.  
>Who cares if Diana loses her house and the only way she has to support her children. God knows we surely shouldn't!"<p>

She had to stop and applaud him.  
>"A performer yet you will be!<br>Drop the act Nate.  
>The only reason you don't want to talk about things is because then you just might have to admit your faults!"<p>

"Yeah, because we all know it's always my fault right!  
>Everything that's gone wrong to date has been because of me!"<br>With the way they made things seem he might as well have been driving the car that started this whole mess.

"Listen to yourself!  
>It's me, me, me, me, me… and you had the nerve to call him self centered.<br>Have you ever tried just sitting down and talking things through with him?"  
>Knowing Nate it was a negative, he never had with her.<p>

"Now why didn't I think of that?"  
>He shot sarcastically as he took off but that didn't stop her from following.<br>"Listen.. I don't need advice from you."

"And why is that? Because our shared past is surely a pitiful excuse." If anything her knowing him on that level would give him a great insight.

"Because I'm not in a relationship Sophie!  
>We're done!<br>It's through!" Eliot's earlier words had made that clear.

"Is that what he said?" She stopped them in their walk with a concerned hand.

"He doesn't need to.  
>For two years we've been struggling with nearly everything.<br>It's fights, and females, and I'm tired of it.  
>We tried but it didn't work and honestly we probably never should have been.<br>It was a mistake." They really were stupid for thinking a loner and a lurker would fit together.

"So you're just done?  
>You've decided not to love him anymore?<br>Easy as that?" He was infuriating.  
>Always running away from his emotions.<p>

"Love has nothing to do with it."

"Love has everything to do with it!  
>For once Nate use your heart instead of your head."<br>She had suffered heartache so they could have happiness  
>and she'd hate to see Eliot suffer the same way because Nate couldn't commit.<p>

"We don't work Sophie!  
>I can love him all I want but what good does that do me when he says I'm the worst thing that has happened to him since getting shot in the gut.<br>What good is it doing when he's losing his stomach for the dozenth time that day and I'm sitting there stupidly with nothing more to say than, 'I'm sorry you don't feel well'.  
>It doesn't do a damn thing when he's showin' more love to the cat than me!" She'd lost her mind if she thought anything about this situation had been easy.<p>

"Have you tried telling him this?" She would still say they'd find the key in communication.

"I don't know if you know this but sharing your feelings doesn't fix them.  
>Just like a kiss doesn't make it all better and an 'I'm sorry' doesn't magically make people not mad at you anymore.<br>It's not how things work." If only things could indeed be that simple.

"But aren't you the man who changes those things?" Hopefully he'd get the point. "You of all people should know of sacrifice, of strategy and challenges."

"I'm pinned, my back's against the wall." Chess immediately came to mind but the game they were playing had too little control to be considered such.

"So do you admit defeat or risk it all?" He actually seemed to be reconsidering things which was a plus.

"I.." He knew what he wanted to do but then again he knew what he needed to do.

"Personally I've always had a thing for the gambling man." Sophie offered with a raised brow before walking away.  
>After all they did have a con to get back to.<p>

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"I can not believe you let me cut that much!" Sarah spoke as she stared at his severely shortened hair.  
>Not only had she taken off her demanded four but nearly another four.<p>

"Well don't think it's happenin' again." Eliot griped though he really wasn't all too displeased.  
>It had been a lot longer than he'd originally guessed but now it was about mid ear and for the first time in some time he could run his hand through it with ease.<p>

"Oh you know you like it." She had even straightened it for him which had been a very funny twenty minutes.

"It's alright." If he admitted anything to her she would be all too smug.

"Really! Before you were looking homeless, now you're looking hot."  
>He rose an eyebrow at that as he stared at her reflection behind him in the mirror.<br>His sister was a weirdo.

"Tell him Becca."

The little girl looked up from her doll to offer a simple, "It's pretty" before looking back down.

"Pretty?" Eliot was appalled by Sarah's laughter. "I am not pretty."

"Of course not." Sarah agreed. "You're gorgeous love."

"I am going to kick your.." A gurgle finished that sentence as he caught eyes with a curious Becca.

"Well come on cause I've got to make dinner and Pete's going to be home soon."  
>Most of the day had disappeared on her but that was okay because it looked to have done Eliot good.<p>

"Daddy?"

"Yep." Eliot answered as he lifted her from the bed putting her down in the hall.  
>He didn't think any of their eyes had lit with the mention of their father the way Becca's just had.<br>It was good to see.

"Is Nay-Nay comin' too?"

Rebecca's words stopped him cold. "She remembers Nate?"

"She's little not stupid." Sarah answered as she urged him to finish his descent down the stairs.

"I know that I just meant… I mean he only visited the once." He waited for them to catch up before following to the kitchen.

"I guess he made an impression." Sarah shrugged. "Now are you gonna answer her."

He looked down to expectant eyes. "Well Becca I don't know where Nay-Nay is right now,"  
>The nick name made him smile. "but I'm sure he'll come and visit just as soon as he can."<p>

"Just as soon as he stops being a," She let out a cheesy whistle to finish that thought.

"Really Sarah?" She mumbled a 'sorry' but they both knew she wasn't.

"He's like me and Daddy.  
>Sometimes he's got to work a lot but he'll come back cause he promised.<br>Remember?" The answer was good enough for her and she left to presumably join Brian in the livingroom.

"Hopefully I didn't just lie to her."

"Are you really that sure he's ready to call it quits?" She'd swear she heard a little bit of worry there.

"Even at his angriest he's never talked to me the way he did today."  
>It wasn't the words that got to him, it was the tone. "Never."<p>

"Well maybe you should talk to him about that." Sarah suggested as she started pulling pots.  
>She'd keep the comment about real sentences and no phones to herself.<p>

"I'm gonna just," He pointed through the doorway behind him.  
>He was beyond exhausted from the days events and this new subject merely drained him all the more.<br>"I'm gonna go lay down."

"Alright, I'll wake you for dinner." She chose to ignore his wrinkled nose.  
>Upset stomach or not he couldn't just stop eating.<br>That was probably part of the reason he had gotten as sick as he had.

Now all she had to do was decide what to make.

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Happy Anniversary?**  
><strong>I know not exactly smooth but… ahh who am I kidding… I have no excuse.<strong>

**But hey look on the plus side… Eliot got a haircut? (Hehe don't hit me)**


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter Forty-Six**

"So I heard you got banged up pretty bad." Pete spoke absently as he passed the salad over to Sarah. "That had to be rough."

"I'd rather not get in to it." Eliot couldn't help but look for what reaction Pete's words had stirred in the kids.

"Well that's understandable with how much time you've spent laid up.  
>All those doctors in your face have got to be annoying after a while." Sarah hadn't shared much and what better way to get it than first hand.<p>

"Something like that." Eliot watched with awe at how much Sarah was piling on her plate but soon glared as she snatched his and put the heaping one in its place.

"How's the leg handling for you?" He had heard of the horrid colors that long marred it and it was sort of intriguing.

"It's moving." They didn't need to know that it was currently killing him.

"You just barely got your cast off last month right?"

"Pete!" Sarah admonished.  
>He was always running his mouth before he actually thought of the words coming out of it.<p>

"Sorry" He quickly apologized.  
>He could see where the curiousness might come off as rude.<p>

"It's fine. I just don't think it's an appropriate topic for our current company." He motioned to the younger two figuring his phrasing had been better than, "the kids".

"How about work though?  
>I know you were looking for some last time you were around so you probably don't have medical."<br>He felt sorry for the guy if he was left to pay all those expenses out of pocket.

"Geeze Pete.  
>Why don't you try starting with a 'How was your day'?"<br>She didn't know what had gotten in to him tonight.

"No, I haven't been able to work for a few months now but I've got insurance."  
>They weren't looking to believe him which was insulting.<br>"I've got a policy through Nate's company, my bills are covered."

"You work for Nate?" He didn't heed Sarah's warning as he continued on.

"For the past five years I've worked with him off and on.  
>I've got stability Pete." He didn't like being painted as the bum brother in law.<p>

"Well of course you do.  
>I just meant that those kind of bills really throw people off their feet and we'd give you some help if you needed it."<p>

"I'm sure he knows that Pete." This guy!  
>Eliot was a proud person and here Pete was questioning his ability to take care of himself.<p>

"I appreciate the offer, really I do so I'll keep it in mind." No matter what he said he wouldn't be believed.

In Pete's eyes he was another rough neck that moved from site to site,  
>lived paycheck to paycheck, and had no real commitment to anything.<p>

A single man that had more jobs than jeans, of course they didn't think he had financial security.

"Becca, Why don't you tell Uncle Eliot how excited you are to start school next month."  
>Anything to change the subject and it was a bonus if it stopped Pete from digging that hole any deeper.<p>

"You do start school next month don't you?" Eliot went with Sarah's diversion.

"I gotta princess book bag" Was what he made out over a mouth full of potatoes.

"Well of course you did.  
>What else could do for a princess?"<p>

"You're giving the girl a big head." Sarah shook hers.

"She can't help being beautiful and why shouldn't I tell her so?" Being around Becca made him think that he'd have wanted his baby to be a girl.  
>She'd have been every bit as angelic as her mother.<p>

"As long as she doesn't start relying on those looks for everything." She wanted more than that for her daughter.

"Now you wouldn't do that would ya?" He lifted her chin affectionately and she smiled.  
>She was going to be a little heartbreaker.<p>

"Just like her mother." Pete remarked.

"Hey!" It might have been a little true, but still.

"And you Brian?" Eliot pulled him into the conversation. "Are you gonna try out for any sports this year?"

"If mom lets me."

"What does that mean if I let you?" He said it as if she'd already told him no.

"That you pretty much chase the boy around with a box of band-aids." Pete laughed.

"I do not!" They exaggerated.

"Do too." Brian threw in.

"Boy," Maybe she might be a little overprotective but when did that become a bad thing? "just eat your beans."

Eliot smirked as he dropped his shoulders and continued to push green beans around his plate.  
>"You too Eliot." He laughed as she dropped him another spoonful.<br>He hadn't even lifted his fork yet. "Yes ma'am." He lifted the utensil to, much like Brian, push his food around but just them the doorbell sounded.

"Who's that?" Pete wondered.

"How would we-" Sarah didn't even bother finishing as she left to find out.  
>She was married to a daft big mouth.<p>

"Sarah" Was the greeting she received as she opened the door to an undecided looking Nate.

"Nathan"

From that he knew to tread carefully.  
>Formal meant he might not be welcome. "Is Eliot here?"<p>

"We were just having dinner." She offered as he stood on the porch awkwardly.  
>"You can join if you'd like." She didn't know if Eliot would like it or not but she wouldn't be rude.<p>

"I don't want to intrude I'd just like to speak with Eliot for a moment."  
>There was no way he could sit down with this family right now and not ruin their dinner.<p>

"Well he's in the kitchen." She opened the door further hoping he'd get the message.  
>She sure wasn't playing messenger.<p>

He only paused a moment before stepping into the house and then like any good guest waited for her to lead the way.

"Eliot you have a visitor." She didn't know how else to phrase it as she walked back into the kitchen.

"Nay-Nay!"

"Hey kiddo!" Becca just about tackled him and he willingly lifted her.  
>At least he knew someone was happy to see him. "How have you been doing?"<p>

"Good!"

"Good! Well that's good." He caught eyes with Eliot who had stood and it brought him back to point.  
>"You do me a favor and finish your food okay." Nate placed a nodding Becca back down and was soon following Eliot out of the room.<p>

"What are you doing here Nate?" Eliot didn't stop until he reached the front door.

"Well I thought I'd come and see how you were doing but I guess I got my answer.  
>Between the haircut and the dinner I'd say you're having a great day." Nate whispered harshly.<p>

Eliot was up and looking well for his family but for him?  
>All he got was angry backlash.<p>

"Out" There was a set in those eyes that had Nate obeying, he'd choose his battles wisely.  
>"You've got another thing comin' if you think you're gonna come here and disrespect." Eliot immediately warned as he pulled the door closed behind them.<p>

Nate huffed as Eliot leaned against the railing with crossed arms.

"What do you want?"

"What do I want?" If only the question was that easy.

"Nate" Just him being there was a big clue and he had already set himself for what was to come.

"We're always back and forth, off and on and I'm tired of it.  
>The confusion is ridiculous and I'm going to clear it right now.<br>I quit. I'm done."

He didn't know what he was expecting but "Alright" wasn't it.

"Alright? All you've got to say is alright?"

"What do you want me to say?" Nate looked like he was upset which didn't even make sense.

"Something other than alright!" After everything they'd been through Eliot should surely have something to say.

"Well I don't know what you wanna hear cause I ain't gonna beg."

A whole other type of fire lit in Nate's eyes. "How about why? Because you can't tell me you don't know how we got here.  
>You pushed us to this!" There. That's how he felt and he let it out. "Why Eliot?"<p>

The man was looking out, ignoring him completely but he wouldn't let it stay that way. "Why!"

"Because it hurt!" With a deep breath he pushed off the railing and moved to sit on the swing. "It hurt damn it."

"So I get punished because you got hurt?"

He shook his head, Nate wasn't understanding. "Pain don't hurt. Not like what I see in your eyes when you're sittin' there."  
>It had come to the point where he couldn't even look in them anymore without feeling torn apart.<p>

"Can't you see that it kills me…  
>just knowing that everything you're thinking and feeling is for my fault.<br>You don't need to be going through all the trouble of the doctors and appointments again.  
>To be barely keeping it together while you're watching me fall apart." It hurt all the more knowing Nate spent<br>his mornings trying to drink away some misery before he stood to face the day.

"That's my choice." He knew Eliot was speaking about Sam and he'd be lying if he said some days he didn't get a serious case of deja vu.  
>"That's what you do for the people you love."<p>

"I couldn't do that." Slowly Nate sat next to him and seriously?  
>He was tired of these kinds of conversations. "I hurt people.<br>Unintentionally or not that's what I know, that's what I do, and this time it was happening to you.  
>I cause trouble for everyone that crosses my path and I didn't want to be doing that to you anymore so I fixed it the best way I could.<br>You're better off this way." Putting space between them really had been for the best.

"Really?" In no way could he see how he was better off. "What did it fix Eliot?  
>This could have brought us all the closer, we could have gotten through it together,<br>came out the other end stronger, instead you chose to let it break us.  
>With or without you there's pain but I wanted to help you carry some of yours, have you help me with mine, but now what?"<p>

"Now you don't have to worry about mine." Hadn't he just explained why he'd done what he'd done?

"You know the same as me that it doesn't work like that.  
>After two years together I know you top to bottom, inside and out.<p>

I've seen the tears, you've trusted me with the fears,  
>the smiles, the doubts, happy and sad, I've witnessed it all.<p>

You've done the same for me and I don't think that you believe  
>I'd actually stop caring or wouldn't worry just because we weren't sharing a bed.<p>

Not now that I know you, now that I loved you."

He honestly didn't know what to say to that.  
>There wasn't really anything he could say.<p>

"And I came here to tell you all of this, to see what you think and where you stand, and it seems like you don't even care.  
>Like one way or the other it doesn't make a damn difference to you."<p>

The phrase was designed for a response but Eliot couldn't find one to give. "I'm sorry."

"Sometimes people do the wrong things for the right reasons but in the end…" Nate paused in his words and Eliot recognized them as his own.  
>In doing so he decided to finish the thought. "They're still the wrong things."<p>

"That man was a wise one and I don't know where he went but I think it's time you start listening to him again."

"And if I don't agree with what he says?" There was a constant battle going on between who he was,  
>who he used to be, and who he wanted to become.<p>

"Well what is he saying?" He watched as Eliot stretched his leg which he knew was a sign of cramping in the limb.

"That I did the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.  
>That in trying not to hurt you I hurt myself instead which hurt you all the more." He didn't agree with it because it was true and painted a horrible picture.<br>"That I deserve exactly what's coming to me because it's what I wanted."

"No," Nate shook his head in disagreement. "You might have asked for it but it's not what you wanted."

"Than what do I want?" He didn't even know that answer.

"That's what I came to find out.  
>What do you really want Eliot?" He knew if he dug far enough he'd find that answer, and his Eliot.<p>

"You said we're done." The thought of them lasting forever was foolish, the longer they were together the worse  
>things got and it probably was for the best to end things before that happened.<p>

"And how many times haven't you said the same?  
>I don't care about what I said I care about what you want!" He made sure to turn so he could catch Eliot's full reaction.<br>"So what do YOU want Eliot?"

Expectant eyes told him that this was an opening, a chance, maybe his last, so he took it.  
>He didn't care that he was sitting on his sisters' front porch out in the open as he leaned in to kiss Nate.<br>It wasn't much but it got him close and that's where he stayed.

"You…" Stunned was close but shocked was probably a better word to describe how he felt.  
>"You haven't…" Eliot decided to finish a thought Nate was having trouble with. "Not since they told me I was sick."<p>

"Why?" Affection had done died between them, more specifically Eliot had killed it.

"No one knew what I had and it just kept on getting worse.  
>There weren't any answers and I didn't want to risk anything when there might have been a chance I could pass it."<br>The guilt he would have felt from that would've been too much. "Just imagine how high it would be piled if we were in the same boat."

"That would be," and suddenly Eliot's words started to sink in.  
>They had all been spoken in a past tense. "Exactly what boat are you in Eliot?"<p>

An annoying ache in his lower back had Eliot readjusting on the swing with a silent prayer that it wasn't a sign of more trouble as he slowly answered.  
>"I have Lyme disease." Instead of looking at Nate he chose to inspect his bare feet. "Or at least that's what the doc says."<p>

"Lyme disease?" Eliot nodded and he sighed.  
>He didn't know much about Lyme but he did know how you got it and everything they'd been through<br>seemed like too much trouble for a tiny tick to cause. "Well what did Torlyn have to say?"

"We barely touched base but I've got an appointment for tomorrow that should get everything covered."  
>He hated going to the hospital but that's where Torlyn worked and if he wanted to continue being seen by him they had to go through the hospital's clinic.<p>

"So he had nothing to say at all?" Torlyn was good at his job, that he knew,  
>but it seemed like he had to constantly yell at the man to get him to do it.<p>

"He said my seizure was provoked," Thankfully most of the after effects had disappeared.  
>The only thing that was really noticeable was the extra draw in his words but it was vague.<br>That and he was still having issues with his eye and blinking. "and I'm probably getting a line inserted."

"Do you know what kind they're placing?" The idea of tubing leading toward Eliot's heart, of possibly needing a surgery to place it wasn't a pleasant one.

"I'm thinking a PICC but I'll find out for sure tomorrow."  
>The ache was starting to turn into an outright pain so he shifted into Nate hoping it was from nothing more than pressure being applied by the swings hard back.<p>

"Are you nervous about getting it done?" He knew Eliot ha a 'ya do what ya gotta do' attitude but that didn't really cover how he felt when he was getting them done.

"No… I just…" The words weren't hard to find but he took his time in saying them, Nate starting to tangle and twine their fingers.  
>"You know how sometimes you get that uneasy feeling for no real reason at all?" Nate nodded his agreement as he moved his foot to start the slightest of motion.<br>"I have one of them right now."

"Just trust yourself and what you know and you'll be fine." Eliot was usually dead on about his feelings and it had Nate hoping he'd be wrong.

"I've already done two separate sets of antibiotics though." Eliot shared a thought that had started bothering him early that morning.  
>"So what's going to make this time any different from those?"<p>

"The treatment's probably more aggressive… and the main target was different last time."

It would have been convincing if it weren't for how many times he had been falsely reassured, but still, he'd let Nate believe it. "True, and they actually know what they're treating this time."

"Exactly" The positive attitude was purely for Eliot's sake because he wouldn't be satisfied until he had actual proof of improvement.

Crickets served as background music as Eliot did his best to stay away  
>from negative thoughts and Nate tried to stay away from thoughts all together.<p>

Despite his best efforts one hit him and the irony had him sharing it. "This has been one hell of a vacation."

For that Eliot lifted his head to look at Nate. "If you consider this vacation it's no wonder you work all the time."

"Well… now it hasn't been all bad." In the very least he'd claim, albeit a few, good days.

"We are not counting this as an actual vacation." Eliot's words were so stern that it was almost funny.

"You've gotta admit that it's been more exciting than any two week getaway would have been."

"I'd take the beach any day." He was the first to go for adventure and excitement but if this was what Nate considered as such it wasn't for him.

"You just name the day and we'll go."A day away from all worry sounded like pure heaven.

"The only place I want to go is home." He pulled his legs up on the swing with the realization  
>that it must be getting late for the light behind them, like many others on the street, had been shut off.<p>

"And what if we got one on the beach?" Nate spoke casually as he put an arm around Eliot.

"You and me buying a beach house?" It was surely something to think about.  
>He'd thought if houses ever came into the subject Nate would assume he'd want a ranch or something of the like.<p>

"Yeah… and in like five years when we're all old and useless…" Eliot huffed out a laugh at that. "we can open up a local place where you'll become famous for your lobster roll."

"I don't think I've ever made a lobster roll." Nate was talking about opening up a business together but strangely enough the lobster roll was what was throwing him off.

"Well now you've got a reason to learn how."

"Do you really think we'll make it another five years?" All jokes aside he wasn't so certain.

"I think we can make it another fifty if we want… but you can't give up on me.  
>I need you to not be so stubborn.<br>I need you to hang in there instead of trying to pull out… and I need you.  
>Don't worry about whether I'd be better off or not… I'm old enough to make that decision for myself.<br>Just worry about you and giving it your all like I know you will."

Nate was better at expressing himself but he found a few words that would do the trick. "I think I'd be famous for my chowder instead."

The laugh that echoed around the porch let him know that his words had been understood which brought a slight smile of his own.

After that Nate settled more into the swing and Eliot into him but it wasn't exactly  
>peaceful as Nate's earlier words started to bother him. "You do know that I care right?"<p>

"Eliot I didn't"

"No, I understand why you'd think that because I don't ever say it but I do…"  
>Eliot was looking at him with complete and open honesty and he knew this was something he felt he needed to say. "I care and…"<p>

Struggle was clear and Nate knew what was coming. "You don't have to sa-"

"I love you." He didn't know why it was always so difficult to put those words together but he did know that no matter what Nate said they needed to be heard. "I really do love you."

He got a taste of a kiss for how big Nate's smile was but that was alright by him.  
>He'd never seen Nate smile or heard him laugh the way he had since their start and it had him believing<br>that maybe he could claim the credit; he knew Nate could do the same for him.

"I… I will never tire of hearing that." This had been what he'd come for.  
>All he wanted was to know his efforts weren't in vain, that it was still worth the fight.<p>

"Good" Eliot spoke as he offered a kiss of better quality.  
>He might not have been able to speak those words every day<br>but he got them out when they mattered which seemed to make them matter all the more.

"You know…" Nate spoke a bit breathlessly as he pulled away. "I like the hair, the hair's good."

Eliot could tell by the way Nate's fingers were twisted in it as he let out an amused breath against his neck. "Just don't tell Sarah that."

"Sarah did this?" The thought was kind of funny but he didn't get to laugh at it as he let out an, "Oww… that… Did you just bite my ear!"

Eliot's answer was to bite it again.  
>He heard the smirk in those words and he didn't see the humor.<p>

"Hey now! I can't have you marking me all up, I've got work tomorrow."

"Oh yeah?" He figured why not leave a few marks since he'd already been accused. "What's your cover?"

"Modeling agent." Eliot laughed at that.  
>If anything a few love marks would help Nate's cover.<p>

"I'll have you know I run a classy operation." Plus he didn't feel like explaining bite marks and hickies to nosey team mates.

"I'm sure it's only the best." Eliot relented as he pulled away.

"I've got to get going." He was disappointed to say it but it was true.

"Alright" He smirked as Nate stood with the complaints of a bad back and being old.  
>If only he knew of the fire that was currently blazing through his own.<p>

"What time's your appointment tomorrow?" He offered a hand to Eliot who took it without hesitation.

"11:30 but I've got a feeling I'm going to be there a good while."His knee popped not so quietly and it had Nate looking down with displeasure.

"I'll try to make it." The whole group had an early start tomorrow and he didn't think  
>they'd be finished until well into the night but if he timed everything right his personal part in the day could be finished by noon.<p>

"You don't have to." He'd already told Sarah that she'd just be dropping him off.

"I'll be there." Hopefully his word would stay good.

Nodding his head Eliot offered a soft, 'night' as he turned the door handle to his sisters' home.

"Hey" Eliot turned back into a soft kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow" and with that he watched Nate go down the stairs soon turning to go inside.

"And what hours are these to be getting home mister?" Sarah stood expectantly in the living rooms entry way with a hand on her pajama covered hip.

"I never left." He didn't know what time it was but it was obviously a lot later than he suspected.

"So?" Her tone changed as she sat on the couch prompting him to join her.

"So what?" He didn't see where the question had come from or toward what it was directed.

"So what went on with Nate?" She'd heard the creaking of the swing and had been oh so tempted to spy.

Standing up he shook his head before placing a gentle kiss to hers. "Go to sleep Sarah."

That was his plan, well at least until his stomach rolled and he was making a detour.  
>There was nothing like losing your stomach to end what had been an overall decent day.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>EN: RL is too crazy!  
>I have missed writing this for ya'll so much that I just couldn't wait another day to do it.<strong>

**Instead of going to sleep after I got home last night I decided to dive into the loveliness of Neliot...**  
><strong>So here I sit 8 hours and 4,000+ words later extremely tired but satisfied...<strong>

**Let me know what you think**  
><strong>It might keep me awake for my shift that I just happen to remember starts in TWO hours (I'm so telling my boss it's all Sophie's fault, lol)<strong>


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter Forty-Seven**

"I can't find my shoe!" Came Brian's voice from up above.

"So put on a different pair!" Sarah called up the stairs as she tried to keep from getting flustered.  
>After a juice incident in the kitchen with Rebecca needing to be bathed and changed they were running really late.<p>

"It's fine Sarah." Eliot assured as he finished tying an elastic in Rebecca's hair.

"No it isn't! Your appointment's in thirty minutes; it'll take at least twenty-five to get there and we still got to drop them off." It was too quiet for her liking so she moved back to the stairs to shout, "Brian!"

"I can't find another pair!"

"Oh my…" She was soon running up the stairs and Eliot could easily tell she was frustrated.  
>It reminded him of Nate who was a stickler for punctuality.<br>Right now he'd be having a major meltdown.

"You ready to go princess?"

"Yup" She wanted to be lifted but for the first time he denied the request.  
>He was having too much trouble lifting himself from the couch.<p>

"Alright…" Sarah sighed as she followed Brian down the stairs. "we've got shoes."

"Good, let's go." Eliot was already ushering Rebecca to the door.

"Wait" Eliot turned to see Sarah patting her pockets. "Where are the keys?"

As Sarah took off shouting at no one in particular, "Where are the keys?" Eliot realized two things.  
>They were going to be past late, and he had gotten his first good glimpse at how hectic raising two kids could be.<p>

A tug on his shirt had him looking down to Becca.  
>"I've gotta go potty."<p>

Yep they'd be late.  
>If they ever left the house.<p>

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Why can't Sophie do this!" She'd had her share of awful dresses to wear but this one took the cake for uncomfortable.

"Sophie's a little too…" With her standing right there glaring Nate was having a hard time choosing a word. "Sophisticated to pass for an up and coming model."

"And you think I can pass as a model!" If that wasn't a laugh.

"All you need is confidence." Sophie assured.

"And a pretty face." Nate added.

"And a set of legs." Hardison threw in. It was true.

"And skill! Or does no one remember I have to do an actual photo shoot!" That was what had her really uneasy.  
>Taking pictures with Hardison was one thing but doing so for a photographer was a whole other story.<p>

"You'll do fine." Sophie was quick to say as she grabbed her bag.

"I've got ya covered mama." Hardison nodded as he patted his laptop.

"Alright people, let's move." Nate ordered as he turned to look at the clock.  
>It was 11:43 and he was nowhere near the schedule he needed to be if he planned on keeping his word to Eliot.<p>

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"Can I help you?"

"I've got an 11:30 with Torlyn." He was hoping the smile would get her to ignore the fact that it was now 11:53.

"Name please?" She seemed pretty bored for how early it still was.

"Elliott, Spencer Elliott."

"I've got you down for a 12:30 up in radiology."

That was obviously wrong and exactly why he hated going to the main desk. "No, you see I know I have an 11:30 with Torlyn."

"Well the only thing I have under the name you gave me is a 12:30 with Dr. Millen." She hated when people couldn't keep their appointments straight.

"Is there any way I could speak with Torlyn?" He did not feel good enough to be dealing with a receptionist that thought him stupid.

"Actually I don't even think he's here." He nearly rolled his eyes.  
>That would have been a good place to start.<p>

"Millen did you say?" If he wanted anything figured out he'd have to find someone who actually had a clue.

"Dr. Millen in radiology." She confirmed.

"Thanks" He nearly made it to the elevator when she shouted, "Hey, you've got to sign in first!"

Since he apparently had no appointment he technically didn't need to but he did it to appease her none the less.  
>He almost made it to the elevator for a second time but was stopped by a shouted, "Eliot wait up!"<p>

He didn't need to turn around to know it was Sarah and in no time she was at his side. "I thought you were going school shopping?"

"I was." Sarah stated as they stepped into the elevator.  
>"But then I was about to leave and realized you don't have a phone to call me when you're done."<p>

"Sarah it's a hospital. There's a phone on every desk, in every office, and next to every patient's bed.  
>I think I would have been able to call ya." That didn't even count for the ones they had specifically laid out for public use.<p>

"Well maybe I decided that I didn't want to leave you alone," She didn't care if he had blown a hole through her reasoning. "and I'm not leaving because you can't make me."

"Never said I would." Eliot shrugged as they stepped off the elevator and he started following the arrows that led the way.

"Well good because I'm not going."

"Good" He threw back.

"Awesome then." She'd admit that that one was kind of pushing things as he gave her a strange look before moving to the desk.

"Name?"

This woman was obviously straight to the point and he didn't waste time in giving her what she asked for. "Spencer Elliott."

"Double first name." She spoke it as if she was reminding herself of something which she probably was judging by the way she was searching her desk. "I've got a message for you." Now if only she could find it. "Here we go… One Sean Torlyn says he's moved your 11:30 to 10:15 tomorrow but to go on ahead with the spot he's booked you in radiology… which is where you are now." Surely he knew that but with some people you just couldn't tell.

"Can you tell me what the appointment's for?" Radiology automatically had him thinking x-rays.

"Is that Eliot with a double L?"

"Double L double T." He was patient as she pulled up the information.

"You are scheduled for the placement of a peripherally inserted central catheter." She couldn't quite tell if he was confused or disappointed so she simplified her meaning. "In other words you're getting a PICC line."

"That's great." He couldn't help but rub his left arm.  
>By the time he left there'd be something sticking out of it.<p>

"You've still got yourself a bit of a wait but I do have a form for you to go over in the mean time.  
>It explains a bit about the procedure and what to expect afterward." Like any good nurse she soon had his form covered in x's.<br>"Once you've read all that I need you to sign the back so we know you understand exactly what the risks and benefits are."

"Alright" He took the offered pen and clipboard and went to sit next to Sarah.

"Aren't you supposed to read that?" Sarah questioned as he flipped the paper and signed it.

"I already know what it says." Sarah didn't look convinced.  
>"If you want you can read it yourself but I can tell you exactly what's on there."<p>

"So do it hot shot." That was a typical guy thing to say.

"It says that the doc has got me getting this done because he thinks  
>it's my best option but like any foreign thing sitting under your skin it could get infected.<br>If that happens there's a chance I could die; especially since it's so up close and personal with my heart  
>but that's alright because I signed this so they can't be blamed for the death when I fall over and croak."<p>

"That's jacked up Eliot." She couldn't believe he just said that like that.

"It's true." Like any good business the legal came first.

"When's the last time you talked to Aaron?" The magazines looked like they'd been there since the hospitals opening so she tried for conversation instead.

"I don't even know.  
>I'd say… like a week or so." Aaron usually showed on weekends but he knew he hadn't this last.<p>

"I know he knows about you being back in the hospital but does he know about the seizure?"

"God I hope not." He hated that his privacy was now nearly nonexistent.

"We should call him."

"For what?" She didn't answer him, pulling her phone out instead.

"We're calling him."

"Why?" Still she said nothing but soon he could hear a gruff, "Hello?" from Aaron.

"Hey Aaron!  
>What are you doing?"<p>

"Eating," Eliot huffed at that.  
>What else did she think he'd be doing at noon? "and you?"<p>

"Sitting in radiology with Eliot." She poked him to say something but he had nothing to say.

"What are you doing in radiology?"

"They're going to stick a tube in Eliot's arm."

"What!"

"That's what I said!"

He ignored the way Sarah sounded as if she was spreading gossip as he decided to test the chair.  
>Hopefully it would be comfortable enough for a cat nap.<p>

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"I've got to get going." Nate spoke from his seat next to Hardison in the back of the newest "Lucille" though he'd already heard the whole rant about this one not being Lucille because his baby was perfectly safe in Boston.

"We're in the middle of something!" Nate had been tapping his fingers in what Hardison had assumed was impatience but now seemed to have been a countdown.

"You've got it covered." Nate assured as he grabbed his hat.  
>It was 12:43 and he couldn't bare to just sit there anymore.<p>

"And where are you going?" He had been tempted to check where Nate had been last night but he hadn't wanted the  
>disappointment of some bar pinging his GPS tracker.<p>

"I've got my com if you need anything." Hardison's huff had him stopping at the door.  
>"You want to run your own team right?" He didn't need to wait for an answer, he already knew.<br>"This is me giving you one to test drive. If you need anything…"

"I know how to contact you." Hardison finished what Nate hadn't.  
>As the door closed he added, "There's got to be a team to run it."<p>

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"Have you ever had an ultra sound done?"

"Yep" Eliot answered as he watched the man do such to his arm.  
>He'd already been moved to a room, had changed, and had enough sterilization done to his arm to cover seventeen people.<p>

"Well right now we're searching for a good…" The pause the doctor made as the nurse marked his arm with three different x's told him they'd found it. "We've got the vein and it's a pretty deep one."

"That's a good thing?" He was being poked right above the elbow and not getting much explanation.

"The deeper and larger it is the smoother the process."

"So you're really sliding a catheter up his vein and into…"

"The SVC." Eliot offered since she seemed too disturbed to finish. "It's one of the largest veins in the body."

"Why do you know that?" Sarah asked suspiciously.

"I read!" He offered since the other reasons he really couldn't mention.

"I'm going to break the skin and get this started."  
>He hoped he was hearing things because if you asked him this doctor sounded kind of eager. "You ready?"<p>

"Go 'head." He wouldn't say it hurted but he did feel it a lot more than he would've if he hadn't known it was coming.

"That is a ton of blood!" Sarah's eyes were huge as she watched the blood stream down his arm and stain the pad under it.

"The initial amount does tend to freak the patients out but there won't be much more after this."  
>Eliot was a bit offended by that, he hadn't said a word.<p>

"Ehh, I've seen more from an accident with a kitchen knife." Nate tossed in as he closed the door he'd just slipped through.  
>Eliot smiled and he wasn't sure if it was because of his presence or the mention of that "accident".<p>

No one had been cooking and they hadn't been anywhere near a kitchen; hell the blood hadn't even been Eliot's.

"Alright, now you'll probably feel a bit of pressure but…"

"Doc" Eliot interrupted. "Can we not do the step by step.  
>I'd prefer to just get it done with."<p>

"Alright. If you watch the screen you'll see about what's going on and if you have any questions just ask."  
>From then on he did feel a pressure but he ignored it as he watched Nate and Sarah watching what was being done to him.<p>

"How many of these procedures have you done?" Nate asked as he continued to keep a careful watch.  
>It looked like it was going by the book which had him worried.<br>Hopefully this guy hadn't just finished reading the book yesterday.

"This will be the fifth today." His words were reassuring.

"Have they all been successful?" She didn't know about them but this seemed complicated to her.

"Well… we'll find out soon enough." The joke was amusing but it was Nate and Sarah's faces that had Eliot laughing.

"Now I'm going to make another cut but I promise it won't be any worse than getting a paper cut."  
>Only thing was he hated paper cuts, he'd rather be punched.<p>

"What's the needle for?" Eliot rolled his eyes at Nate's question.  
>It was bad enough he had to lie there and get cut.<br>Had he not just said he didn't want a play by play?

"To numb the skin. This right here," He showed a hook like syringe that you'd imagine had come from a few decades ago. "pulls our guiding wire out and will get our catheter where it needs to be but it won't go in if it meets any resistance."

"Now it'll burn." The nurse warned as she laid a pre-cut paper cover over his arm.  
>With that news all eyes were on Eliot until the doctor asked, "Did it burn?"<p>

He let out a half laugh that was gasp and gurgled giggle all in one. "Hell Yeah!"  
>It felt like flames were crawling under his skin… and yeah he had been through worse but… damn.<p>

"That's pretty tame. My patients usually swear worse than sailors."

"I can add to it if you'd like."

Eliot's offer had the doctor laughing softly. "That's quite alright.  
>Now do me the favor and put your chin over your shoulder just like you would if you were sleeping."<p>

"And why's he doing that?" Nate didn't know of anyone who actually slept like that.

"It cuts off access so the catheter doesn't actually go into the neck which… it didn't."

"Now I'm going to suture this in place so we can get an x-ray of your chest to check for placement." He assumed the nurse smiled as she traded places with Millen.

"So it might not be in there right?" Now that got Eliot's attention.

"I might have to pull it down a bit but that's alright because that's better than having it too short.  
>Once it's been placed I can't feed any more up." They would not be happy if they had to start from scratch.<p>

"Then let's get it done."

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"Where's Nate?" Sophie asked as she started Lucille.  
>He had taken her car.<p>

"I don't know!" Hardison grumbled through a fat lip as Parker passed him an ice pack.

"Well there's no reason to get snippy!" It had been an accident.

"You busted my lip!"

Despite Parker's best efforts, not really, she started laughing.

"I was only doing what I was told!" Sophie was trying not to laugh herself.

"You were supposed to throw a fit not a shoe!"

Parker couldn't help but laugh all the more.  
>She was so sharing this with Eliot.<p>

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So you're sure you understand?" Eliot nodded once again. "And you don't have any questions?"

"Nope, you covered it." He'd just spent another hour learning how to use, care for, and clean his line.

"Alright then. If you have any other questions call your physician and if any complications arise return to the ER immediately."  
>She directed as she turned to leave. "I'll be back with your release forms and wheelchair."<p>

"Leave it alone." A doubled order had Eliot looking properly reprimanded as he pulled his fingers away from fresh bandaging.

"This is going to drive me insane." The tubing had been in place for less than four hours and he was already itching to pull it out.

"It's only for a little while." Sarah assured as she tapped her foot against the leg of her chair.

"Thirty some days is not a little while Sarah." Once again he felt useless since he couldn't lift any real weight with the arm.

"Well it could be sixty some." The point she tossed back was solid.

"Why did Torlyn say you needed this done again?"  
>Nate had only missed one of the man's visits but felt extremely out of the loop for it.<p>

"Because my stomach doesn't sit.  
>I can swallow as much antibiotic as I want but it ain't doing me any good if in two minutes it's all comin' back up.<br>Plus, this shit's s'posed to be stronger than any of the other bull I've been taking; it'd probably eat my stomach lining."  
>On top of that they'd told him that excessive vomiting could jerk his tubing out of place which pretty much left him in a lose lose situation.<p>

"We've got to stop to get your probiotics too." Sarah reminded as she flipped through his prescriptions.

"I know." He was trying not to complain, he didn't think he deserved to, but on a day like this it was hard.

"What time do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?" Nate asked with a glance to his watch.  
>His timing had been all kinds of off today.<p>

"I thought I was going with you?" Suddenly he felt stupid for thinking it.  
>That was what happened when you relied on others.<p>

"I've got a business dinner tonight and I don't want to leave you on your own."  
>With Sarah sitting there he couldn't exactly speak freely but he was sure Eliot had caught on to what wasn't said.<p>

"I don't need a nanny." Even if they still had work to do they'd be back eventually.

"Oh come on Eliot, it's movie night!" She'd admit that having him mere steps away had eased her mind greatly.

"Yeah Eliot." He hadn't meant to make it sound like he didn't want Eliot around though he was sure that's how it must've come off. "It's movie night!"

"I'm ecstatic." Nate smirked at that.  
>He was pretty sure Eliot would've said, 'I'm dying' with more enthusiasm.<p>

"So what time?"

"The appointment's at 10:15." Which he would gladly drive himself to if they'd stop acting like he was an invalid and let him use a car.  
>Nate had even hid his own truck keys from him.<p>

"Alright then," Nate pushed off the wall knowing Sophie was waiting for him. "I'll see you at 9:30."

"Good luck with your business dinner." Sarah offered politely.  
>They'd have to work on "them" but for now she'd just try to stay civil.<p>

"Thank you" Nate nodded to her as he moved over to an annoyed looking Eliot.  
>It was nearly too soft to hear as he whispered, "Don't be mad."<p>

"I'm not." Eliot offered as Nate moved back.  
>Nate didn't really believe it but still he left knowing he had little time to waste.<p>

"Is that how you always act or was that because I'm here?"

"How do I act?" Eliot asked suspiciously as she slithered closer.

"You're just like whatever about the whole situation." He didn't even seem to consider the day an actual situation.

"It is what it is. There's no reason to make a big deal out of it."  
>That's what he was going with because that's what he wanted to make himself believe.<p>

"But then Nate came over here just to be supportive for you and you were whatever about him too."

"No I wasn't." He had acted the same way he had when they'd drained his hematoma and Nate hadn't mentioned anything then.

"Yes you were! Right now he was just trying to get some sort of good-bye out of you and you didn't even see it!"  
>If that was how he treated his Ex's it was no wonder why they were labeled as such.<p>

"Well excuse me for not asking him to hold my hand for the day." Eliot snipped.  
>"I don't do the whole hugs and kisses at every turn and people that do annoy me.<br>If you want to be like that than why bother going out?  
>Stay in your house, stay in your room, and do what ya wanna do."<p>

"Well aren't you romantic." She had never heard it put like that.  
>Only Eliot could make affection sound sleazy.<p>

"That's why he loves me." Eliot snarked.  
>His ways were set and Nate knew that.<br>It wasn't something he'd change so they shouldn't expect him to.

"Hopefully" In a sense she did the same but hers was reluctance.  
>He was just trying to push people away and from what she'd heard it was working.<p>

"Wheelchair" Came a knock on the door but it only barely broke through his thoughts.

Did Nate really feel unwanted when he passed on such meaningless things?  
>Were they really meaningless to Nate?<p>

Dang Sarah.  
>He had been fine but now?<br>His thoughts were once again negatively questioning.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter Forty-Eight  
>August 9<strong>**th**

"What did you find out?" Nate asked as he sat next to Hardison with a mug and an orange soda.

"A ton." Hardison offered as he grabbed the soda.  
>Nate had asked him to gather as much as he could on Lyme and he had.<p>

"Care to share." Nate hinted as he pulled the computer closer.

"The main sites and medical pages say the exact things you've been hearing, but the message boards  
>and support groups is where your information's really at." Hardison pulled up a few for reference.<p>

"There's support groups?" He asked as he glanced down the hall toward his room.

"These people are tight. I've read through blogs and journals and I've even found people  
>that say it's only about a step down from cancer. They talk about different meds and treatments, offer ideas and suggestions; hell they're just trying to keep the faith and hope for the best."<p>

"None of that helps me any." Another month had passed and though  
>they had thought they were seeing improvement it hadn't been so. Torlyn said Eliot was simply herxing and it was normal for him to feel worse before he started feeling better but Nate was tired of hearing that.<p>

"The one thing everyone seems to agree on is getting yourself a Lyme literate doctor.  
>That and getting your co-infections treated promptly and properly." He could only offer what he had found.<p>

"He hasn't been diagnosed with any co-infections!" Hearing that they might be missing something didn't sit well with him.

"From what I've come across that's nearly unheard of." Hardison stood on antsy legs.

"That's great… that's just great." After four months in Oklahoma they were used to  
>this "new life" but no one could accustom themselves to an out of commission Eliot.<p>

"I got you the names of some LLMD's to see if you can get some information, maybe a second opinion."  
>The paper he had printed was passed over. "From what I've learned that's probably your best bet."<p>

"These people… how long have they been at it?" Eliot had only had  
>his diagnosis for a little under a month and his patience was already non-existent.<p>

"Some of them took years just to get themselves a diagnosis, but most of them have been at  
>the treatment for months just trying to get some semblance of what their normal was back."<br>Reading all of that was kind of depressing and it had him feeling extremely sorry for Eliot.

What could he say to that?  
>He had sent Alec on this search with the hope of finding good news; instead he was now swimming in bad.<br>"Call me when Sophie gets Parker in David's office."

"Alright" He waited for Nate to disappear around the corner before letting out a deep sigh.  
>The man had stopped with the bottle which was good; instead using work as a stress reliever.<br>The only down side to that was the mule he was being worked like.

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"You ready to go?" Nate walked into the bedroom  
>to find Eliot putting on a shoe; Steve on the floor with Eliot's oatmeal.<p>

"As soon as I grab a hoodie." Every week he had to go to the hospital  
>to get the dressing changed on his PICC line and it was starting to grate on his nerves.<p>

"One of these times can you actually eat your breakfast instead of feeding it to the cat."  
>The second the thing started eating whole foods it was on the other end of Eliot's.<p>

"I wasn't hungry."

Nate wasn't surprised to hear something of that extent.  
>Eliot had basically stopped eating, was being given nutritional supplements through his line,<br>and in his personal opinion was only a few steps away from a feeding tube. "Well at least now I know you'll have room for lunch."

"Can't wait." Eliot said as he did his best to get over to the closet.  
>His leg had started up again recently, more specifically the knee, and it was even gaining back some color.<p>

"Neither can I." He knew exactly how it would go.  
>They'd argue for about an hour before Eliot finally took a bite of his food and an hour after that he'd be vomiting it back up.<p>

"Than lets go."

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"What do you want to do Sunday?" Ashlee asked Aaron as he pushed their cart down another aisle.

Aaron paused at that.  
>She had to be fishing. "I've got some things in mind, but we can do whatever you want."<p>

"Sarah invited us to church." Ashlee explained as she searched for eggs.

"She wants us to go to church with her on our anniversary?" His sister was a dunce.

"She invited your brother too." That was why she even mentioned it.  
>They had both been working extra hours and overtime to save for the wedding so Aaron hadn't seen his brother in weeks.<p>

"He's probably not going anyway." Aaron shrugged off as he grabbed a gallon of milk.

"Why?" Despite his easy attitude she knew he was worried about Eliot.

"He barely goes when he does feel good, I doubt he wants to go now.  
>Plus it's Nate's birthday." He hadn't heard from Eliot but apparently Sarah<br>bugged him daily and the latest news was that his liver was showing signs of enlargement.

"Really? We should get him something." This was the first she was hearing of that.

"Like what?" Nate was a decent guy sure, but he didn't know him well enough to be giving him presents.

"I don't know, maybe a nice bottle or something." That was just like a guy.  
>His brother's boyfriend yet she should be the one to know what they should get.<p>

"I don't know what or if he drinks." He wasn't feeling the idea of getting him anything, it just seemed weird.

"Well should I tell her we're coming or what?" The idea of a present was easily dropped, she'd find him a card or something.

"If you want to." Yeah he'd like to go see Eliot but the day was pretty much for Ashlee and he wouldn't take it away from her.

"I don't know about getting up that early but it'd be nice to go visit for a bit."  
>Sarah always went to mass first thing and she really didn't feel like waking up at five just to make it there.<p>

He saw the in she was giving him and he was thankful for it. "We'll only stay an hour, two tops."

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"I was thinking," Nate began as he looked over to where Eliot was itching at a fresh bandage.

"That they need to get some different tape." He'd swear he was allergic to the stuff but no one seemed to listen.  
>Not even the blistering that started to appear seemed to matter much.<p>

"That we should go see a specialist." Nate corrected.

"Why? I've got an appointment with Torlyn next week."  
>He left out the day because he didn't really remember it which was aggravating.<p>

"And we'll keep that, I just think that you should look through all your options.  
>Torlyn's good and all but he's general, a specialist is going to have seen this case, after case, after case, and he's<br>probably going to know more." Hearing Hardison speak of the months of treatment had Nate looking to the future,  
>something he tried not to do, and it had him thinking he needed to make sure there was an actual recovery in sight.<p>

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to find one and see what he has to say." He was tired of doctors in  
>general and his recent encounters with them had him believing his grandmother's words more and more every day.<br>'A man that's licensed to cure is as equally licensed to kill.'

"She. Catharine Granacher.  
>Her office is about an hour from here, but she's said to be good." That and Lyme literates weren't all that easy to find.<br>The next closest was a nearly six hour drive.

"You've already found one?" The way Nate had been speaking it  
>sounded like the beginnings of an idea not something he'd already researched.<p>

"I may or may not have already made you an appointment." He'd been in the waiting room  
>looking at the list Hardison gave him and he hadn't really been able to help himself.<p>

He didn't even bother questioning it.  
>That sounded exactly like Nate. "When?"<p>

"Saturday."

"This Saturday?" Eliot sounded a bit disbelieving which wasn't too surprising  
>seeing as most places wanted you to schedule appointments near a month ahead of time.<p>

"I'm persuasive." Nate offered simply.  
>They were going to see their first LLMD in less than two days.<p>

"Good. You can persuade her into taking this damn line out." He'd only gotten it because it was supposed  
>to help but all he had seen was the hindrance. He didn't feel any better, he wasn't allowed to use his arm for<br>anything really, and he hadn't seen enough reward to believe the insertion had been worth the risk.

"We'll see what she says." Nate didn't like that idea.  
>The supplements being fed into that tubing were the only thing keeping Eliot going right now and he knew it.<p>

"She better say yes or I'll find somebody who will.  
>I only agreed to a month and it ain't staying any longer." He'd already told Torlyn this and their<br>next appointment was specifically for the purpose of re-evaluating the catheter.

"Okay," He was going to kill Parker.  
>Eliot had been on edge about the line since she had mentioned how easy it would be to switch one of his antibiotic bulbs with anti-freeze or something that was equally as deadly. "I'll get it removed, safely."<p>

Eliot huffed at the safely.  
>Nate knew he was ready to rip it out. "Good"<p>

"Now, what do you want to eat?" Now introducing, the struggle of every day.

Sighing heavily Eliot sunk further into the cars seat.  
>With the hell his stomach was putting him through it was hard to remember food used to be a haven. "Whatever's fine by me."<p>

Looking over to his bag of bones he decided they'd go home.  
>Hopefully this time something would settle, but if not at least Eliot would be in the comfort of a private place.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>EN: I know it's a ton shorter than they've been lately but the research and back tracking for these next few chapters is ridiculously long, I can't just pull it out my rear like usual LOL**

**And sorry for skipping over a month but it was actually a very useless time, not much going on aside from Eliot napping while Nate sat next to him with the remote getting fat on chips (aside from all the jobs he was doing in between of course!)**

**Now I was going to say something but I forgot that fast so I'll get back to it and you with the next chapter, tell me whatcha think! **


	49. Chapter 49

**Hey look at me, actually updating at a decent hour for a change!  
>So who else celebrated CK's birthday (Hence the new story cover)'cause I know I'm not the only one, I had his music going until long after people started threatening bodily harm (to their defense they put up with it until mid afternoon on day three) which gave me some major ideas for this of course- bet you find a good many of his lyrics scattered about... but yeah back to the point I've yet to start.<strong>

**The next couple of chapters pretty much revolve around the world of medicine which I know absolutely squat about so sorry in advance but I'm sure there will be errors. I believe I've researched enough to make it probable if not believable but that's as far as I'm going, this is solely for fun (if not for my unhealthy obsession) and I'm hoping you keep it that way by suspending your disbelief and remembering it's simply my humble piece of fiction.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Nine<strong>

"I want a double shower."

"What?" Nate barely spoke as he put down the magazine he had been looking through.

"A double shower. When we get our place I want a double shower." The home and garden book  
>Nate had been looking through put the idea in Eliot's head as they waited to be called back.<p>

"What for?" It only took a second for Nate to catch up with Eliot's line of thought.

"Because you always end up in mine." He made sure his voice was low enough so only Nate could hear.

"You never complained before." Nate whispered back.

"A double is built specifically for two Nate."

He should probably be ashamed of how long it took him to get Eliot's meaning but finally he did with an, "Oh!"

"That and I might actually get to shower." He could honestly say he now  
>understood what a woman meant when she said she just wanted to wash her hair.<p>

"What else do you want?" Talking about their place would be better time spent than the stale golf magazine sitting there.

"Nothing really, what else is there?"

"A team free zone." It seemed like they gravitated around him.

"Good luck with that." Those three respecting boundaries and privacy was an absolute laugh.

"Well are we going to look at flats, or condos, or…?"

He could hear what Nate was hinting at but didn't quite say. "You'd have to settle if we got a house."

"And who says I can't?" Eliot's point was valid.  
>Houses didn't make easy burn places and they had needed that quick get-away a few different times already.<p>

"I'm sure you can but I won't." He saw the clear why on Nate's face so he answered it.  
>"I'm not ready for all of that; right now I'm itching to go not to stop."<p>

"And I'm not asking you to but there's a difference between settling and stopping."

"Start every day like it's your last and end it like it's your first. You follow them two rules and you might break your back but no one will ever be able to break your spirit." Hopefully Nate understood that because he didn't know how else to explain it.

"But in a few years?"

With a knowing nod Eliot added, "When we're all old and useless."

Nate cracked a smile at how much meaning those words had picked up in such a short while.  
>They were now their own personal joke. "You don't have any places that would work for us right now though so we don't have to go looking immediately?" How many meanings Eliot's words had he wasn't sure but he took the most literal, they'd take it day by day.<p>

Even so they still needed a place to stay.

"Not up east." The only place he could be linked to anywhere even remotely close to Boston was the apartment he kept.

"Who says it has to be up east?"

"Oh n-"

"Spencer Elliott!"

His 'name' being called had him stopping with the thought and offering, "That's something to talk about later, A LOT later."

"Not really." Nate denied as he and Eliot stood.  
>The only reason any of that group was in Massachusetts was because of<br>him and he was sure that if he chose to switch states the flock would surely follow.

"Spencer Elliott!"

"Impatient much" Nate huffed and Eliot hummed his agreement as they moved toward the door.

"Ma'am"

"Have a seat in room four and someone will be with you shortly."  
>She barely pointed to the room she was referring before quickly disappearing.<p>

"Southern hospitality at its best." Nate snarked as they moved to room four.

"Don't blame the south for her not bein' able to do her job." He had dealt with plenty of  
>cranks and crabs over the last few months but never had he been simply abandoned in a hallway.<p>

"Alright" Nate stood by the wall as Eliot took the seat in the corner,  
>rarely if ever would he sit on the exam table, and asked, "Than who do I blame?"<p>

"And how should I know?" There were a million and one reasons  
>why a person could be or act the way they did at any time in a given day.<p>

"I don't know, I thought maybe it might be distinctive." Nate joked as he tried to keep the conversation light.  
>That way if later on that night Eliot forgot about any of these words being spoken,<br>which was highly likely as of lately, the disappointment wouldn't be so great.

"Shut up" Eliot deflected the teasing jab.

"Now that is distinctive" He could read that tone like a book.

"So are you" Eliot remarked as he stared nearly into Nate. "You're hiding something."

"No I'm not." Nate assured as he tried to figure out if Eliot seemed more intrigued or suspicious.

"No… there's something there." Of that he was positive.

"Really there isn't, unless you're counting me having no back bone when it comes to your sister."

He didn't believe it but Eliot decided to move on to the newly revealed. "Why is that?"

"She asked us to church tomorrow and I told her no but she's a persuasive little…" a growl filled in that thought. "Anyway long story short we're to be there by 8:15 unless you know how to talk her out of it."

That was a laugh.

"I could tell her I was dying and she'd simply say 'There's no better place to go'."  
>His sister was just that side of it. "Like it or not Nate you're stuck."<p>

"That's what I thought." Aaron was definitely the calm and collected  
>one of these three which, judging by what Eliot had told him, wasn't saying all too much.<p>

"Mr. Elliott" Came a knock on the door, soon followed by a tall red head's entrance. "I'm Dr. Granacher."

"Pleasure to meet you ma'am." She seemed a bit off centered by his greeting  
>but he couldn't help it, the manners were burned into him about as deep as the brand on cattle.<p>

"Seeing as you just dropped off your medical records today I don't exactly have a working chart for you  
>so why don't you tell me a bit about how you got here." From her coat she pulled a pad and pen that was soon at the ready.<p>

"I was diagnosed with Lyme." Eliot summed figuring she should know that since it was where her specialties lie.

"That I've gathered, but a little something to know about me is I won't start any kind of treatment course until I've come to that conclusion myself. As I'm sure you know Lyme is easily mistaken for plenty of things but in the same sense plenty of things can be easily mistaken for Lyme, so let's get back to the beginning."

"Well than we're going back to April." Eliot spoke; not too happy with having to revisit the last four months.

"And how are you sure that it started in April?" She asked absently as she marked down his words.

"Because on Easter night I was hit by a car." He hated telling people that.  
>It was completely humiliating and a rip off of some bad movies' story line.<p>

"And before that you weren't experiencing any bad feelings or ill effects?"

It was the first time he had been asked that question and he took his time in thinking about it. "No… no I felt fine."

"Alrighty than, back to the car." The way she was questioning Eliot reminded Nate of an eager journalist.

"I hit my head on the way down and I believe they told me I was out for twenty some hours." He didn't remember much of that night at all and barely nothing after he got down from the truck.

"He nearly fell into a coma." Nate threw in for good measure.

"I'm going to need a list of those injuries." She informed for she didn't know if they had submitted one.

"Give me the time and I'll tell you." Nate spoke as he looked to Eliot.  
>He'd be like a chart because he still saw those injuries when the guilt got to be too much.<p>

"It's yours." She really wasn't all that surprised with him claiming to know all  
>of this information since nearly all of her patients were dedicated to their medical histories.<p>

"On his right hand he broke the middle, ring, and index fingers and dislocated his thumb. He dislocated his right shoulder and suffered from a deeply bruised collar bone. His rib cage was bruised and he did crack a rib though I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly which one at the moment. The left wrist was sprained and took enough damage to need seven stitches. He also broke his foot which received a minor surgery to repair a torn ligament and has lost variations of feeling in three of his toes." Nate stopped not because he was anywhere close to finished but because he wanted to make sure she had caught everything so far.

"Have you done any physical therapy for that?"  
>Everything except for maybe the toes sounded pure cause to effect and that's why she made a side note about them.<p>

"I got my boot removed in June and started my first session a few days  
>later but it was the only one I went to." That night his knee had nearly doubled its size.<p>

"And why is that?" She hoped the reason was valid because skipping out on his PT had only hurt him in the long run.

He knew Eliot wouldn't say it, not with his pride, but he would.  
>"He couldn't get out of bed… and the last two months have pretty much been variations of that same story."<p>

"Tell me about that. What isn't directly related to your accident? Did you start feeling better  
>before you got worse or did all of these symptoms show immediately?" If you asked her time lines were the best course to treatment.<p>

"No, it was a build." Eliot answered; somehow feeling like the question was different than the other times he'd been asked it.  
>"Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me other than my knee."<p>

"What happened to your knee?" She was looking between the joints but of course saw nothing past the jeans he wore.

"I was hit on my right side where a piece of metal from the car was left embedded in my thigh.  
>I had surgery to remove that and the closest I've come to figure is a nerve got messed up or something along the way."<p>

"Is it still bothering you?" Eliot nodded and she continued, "and nothing's been done for it?"

"I've tried ice and heat, I've kept it propped, and I've had it wrapped but with all my tests coming back clear I've been told nothing really can be done for it."

"They think it's in his head." Nate supplied.  
>Despite the swelling that was always there to some extent and the bruising that was appearing anew they said he was fine.<p>

"Lyme patients get used to being told that early on." Catharine nodded in understanding.  
>Many of her patients had been told the same, if not it had been they were simply depressed.<p>

"That's nice to know." Eliot sighed out in frustration.

"So tell me about when you started to figure out that this was more than just the after effects of being hit by a car."

"In May I ended up back in the hospital with a kidney infection and that's when everyone kind of had it figured."  
>Nate nodded at that. "It was memory loss and headaches, vomiting and back aches that all led up to a seizure last month.<br>That's when I got my diagnosis and my PICC line."

"Why was the PICC line inserted?" She asked as she leaned back on the counter.

"Because I can't take antibiotics orally, I can't take anything really." It was pretty pathetic but currently that was him.

"Why?"

"He's always vomiting. Most days he barely keeps water down." Nate explained.  
>Eliot's throat had been taking so much punishment that his voice and tone had gone down deeper, even picking up a bit of gravel.<p>

"Have you had any kind of tests done on your digestive system?" Now that was suspicious to her.  
>Medication irritated the stomach sure but he was speaking of something that was obviously more.<p>

"No" It hadn't even occurred to him that he probably should have.

"Well we're going to change that." Catharine near promised as she opened the door, "Follow me."

Eliot looked to the door she had just walked out of than to Nate, who apparently  
>decided he wasn't moving, before he stood and did what he was told. "Step on the scale please."<p>

"You want me to take the boots off?" Some places didn't care but others were absolute sticklers.

"You can leave them." With that he stepped on the scale, watching patiently as she fiddled with the weight. "Alright… you can go back to the room." She stopped at a supplies closet while he went straight back.

"That Hardison?" Eliot questioned as he sat back in his chair.

"David's on the move." Nate offered as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"We're following for now."

"He would have gone down yesterday if you had a hitter." His team had no back up, no cavalry to call, and he felt like a loser for it.

"And he'll fall just as hard tomorrow so don't worry about it."  
>He understood Eliot was feeling useless and he was doing his best to sympathize.<p>

"Mr. Elliott if I told you you weighed 132 pounds what would you tell me?" Catharine asked as she walked through the opened doorway.

"Maybe back in seventh grade." A little inaccurate but it got his point across.

"And if I asked you how much weight you've dropped according to that number?"  
>His frame was larger so she could tell his normal weight would be on the higher end of the scale.<p>

"Probably about fifty pounds, maybe a little more." It was the first time he was  
>stopping and actually thinking about this weight loss with more than an 'I dropped a few pounds' attitude.<p>

"Is that how much he weighs?" Just by looking at him you could tell  
>he was too skinny but Nate wanted to know what was up with her, 'What Ifs?'.<p>

"That's with his boots on which are probably three or four pounds themselves."  
>She wanted them to understand the gravity of the situation. She had a teenage girl at home that weighed more than him. "A number like that isn't acceptable to me so I'm going to order an ultra sound of your stomach and see if we can't find out what's going on."<p>

"Are you saying it isn't Lyme related?"

The look in his eye was set, it was firm, but behind that she'd swear there was the tiniest plea. "Lyme hides Mr. Elliott.  
>It mimics, copies, and outright lies to the body. That's where I come in. If you truly have Lyme I've got to figure out what damage it's done and if there are any partners in crime. If you don't I'm still right here and we'll still get to the bottom of this."<p>

"So what are we doing?" Nate asked Eliot but listened none the less when Dr. Granacher answered.

"We'll draw some blood, get a urine analysis, and get that ultra sound done first. Than depending on the results we'll go from there."

"You didn't really answer my question though." Eliot spoke in a seriously somber tone.

"It really isn't one I can answer just yet.  
>Each case of Lyme is different and I can't just rule you out because one thing seems off.<br>In the same sense I wouldn't rule you in because of only one thing that fit perfectly." She didn't believe in giving false hope.  
>She'd stick with honesty because it brought two sure fire things with it; respect and results.<p>

"How many times have you seen this?" Still Eliot pushed for answers.  
>"How many of your Lyme patients have these kind of stomach troubles?"<br>He wanted to hear that he wasn't alone but she wasn't saying it.  
>"How many of them sit in front of food and feel like they're being teased?<br>Have their stomachs begging them to eat while their brain taunts that they'd be better off drinking bathroom cleaner? How many?"

"Those aren't the typical types of symptoms reported back to me."  
>His frustration was completely understandable but as of the moment there was nothing she could do with it.<p>

"Thank you for your time." And before Nate knew it Eliot was off the chair and out the door.

"I'm…" He didn't even know what to say for how stunned he was at Eliot's actions.  
>Four months of doctors and hospitals and Eliot had never just gotten up and walked out.<p>

"That's alright, I'll get you those scripts just in case he changes his mind."

"Thanks"

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"Eliot" Nate let his presence be known as he walked up to where Eliot was propped on the side of the car. "What's up?"  
>There was no answer just the deep breaths of a clearly angered man. "Talk to me."<p>

"Rrrgh" Eliot's answer was to kick the tire in front of him with something close to rage.

"Hey now!" Nate warned as he grabbed Eliot's arm and pulled him over by a tree.  
>The last thing they needed was him damaging newly heeled bones. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"<p>

"What's wrong?" Eliot huffed a laugh as he leaned against the tree. "Nothing Nate, everything's just… perfect!"

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Nate threw in some sarcasm of his own.  
>"Listen," he doubted Eliot would but still he'd try. "I know this is hard but-"<p>

"No you don't!" He didn't want the sympathy. "You don't know!"

"Alright, than you tell me… tell me what I don't know."  
>He wouldn't let Eliot feel sorry for himself because they honestly didn't have time for it.<p>

"I'm sick and tired and I'm tired of waking up sick and tired! These damn doctors are making so many circles that I don't even know what to believe anymore! You heard her Nate! Just as well as I did, she all but said it wasn't Lyme and she specializes in the shit! So does that make Torlyn a flake?" Take it as it came was a good motto but he hadn't exactly planned for the day that he could no longer take it. "Do I drop him and go by her word? Do I trust that she knows any more than he does?"

"You're right, I don't know…" Nate actually found himself agreeing.  
>Eliot had kept the 'I'm doing it because it's what I gotta do' attitude since this whole thing began and it was about time he let out those emotions that had to be eating him. "but I do know you and I know we'll get through this."<p>

"What if it really isn't Lyme?" He could feel the pressure building in his leg  
>so he decided to drop down before it could go out on him. "I don't want to go back to the beginning."<p>

Nate sunk down next to him as he tried to find the right words.  
>He didn't know how you comforted someone that had become their own worst enemy.<br>Eliot was right that he didn't know what it felt like to be betrayed by your own body, no one could know how  
>that felt unless they were going through it themselves. "You just remember that for every beginning there is an end."<p>

"Well I'm at that end now 'cause this ain't no way to live."  
>Call him a quitter if you'd like but he was smart enough to know when to admit defeat.<p>

"Eliot don't you start talking like that on me.  
>So what if it took a few tries, we're finally getting somewhere!<br>I promise we're going to figure this out, just don't give up on me."

"I'm done. I'm getting this damn line removed and that's it, I'm not going back."  
>He stood with an expected dizziness, finding himself some leverage on the tree to wait it out.<p>

"I can't believe you!" Nate was up and pacing with frustration of his own. "I've been fighting my ass off  
>for you but obviously you're not the man I thought you were because he'd be willing to fight for that too!"<p>

"Don't you dare use her words on me!" He didn't care if Nate knew what he meant or not.  
>The last thing he needed was memories of that night floating through his head. "I'm done. I'd rather starve<br>to death than continue being slowly killed by a bunch of quacks that can't seem to find their way out of a paper sack."

"So we'll find new ones! I don't care if I have to buy an entire damn medical staff; you're not giving up on me!  
>I'll hold your head up for you if I have to! I did it on a dirty street when it was covered in blood, I did it when you nearly drowned in your own vomit, I did it during a damn seizure, and if I have to I can sure as hell do it now! Even if I have to drag your ass there you're going!" Let Eliot be pissed if he wanted, he'd prefer an angry Eliot over a dead one any day.<p>

Nate's eyes were daring but honestly he couldn't care. "Take me home."


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter Fifty**

He hadn't been able to sleep.  
>Nate was upset with him, he was upset with himself, and it just hadn't been a good night.<br>For the past few hours though he'd been thinking through his decisions and had come to a few conclusions.

Now he was counting the number of times Nate's bare chest rose as he waited for him to wake so he could share. He reached one thousand and three before the pattern changed and Nate started to stir. There was a jaw breaking yawn and a full body stretch before Nate finally turned his way and took notice of him being awake. "I'll go." He knew Nate wasn't comprehending his meaning through a sleep fogged mind so he further explained. "I'll do the ultrasound and I'll give the blood but I still want this line removed."

"You'll go?" Nate looked for confirmation as he propped his head upon his hand.

"I'll go." He nodded his sincerity and immediately saw Nate's eyes light.  
>"I might not like it but at least I'll know if anything goes wrong that I went down swinging."<p>

"Thank you" Nate spoke genuinely as he pushed a piece of Eliot's hair back. "That's all I wanted."

"Good because it's the best I've got to give ya right now." In the very least Nate had attempted to make his a good one and he'd do his best to return the favor.

"Why would you need to give me something?" Nate propped himself up just a tad bit more as he tried to figure out what Eliot was talking about.

"Really?" Eliot sat up for that. Nate sounded confused and it was more than just their usual 'skip the presents' that was throwing him off.

"What?" Obviously he was missing something.

"Nothing" Eliot let out nonchalantly.

"No not nothing. What am I missing?" Their schedule was hectic and he didn't know if this was him actually forgetting about something or Eliot's messed up memories reminding him of something that had long ago come or was yet to pass.

"You're not missing anything." Nate didn't look like he was believing him though. "I swear."

"Then don't do that to me." Nate huffed out some exasperation that had been building.

'Do you want me to call off church with Sarah?" He couldn't be positive but it was quite possible Nate had just picked up the tone of the day.

"Your sister barely likes me now. How will it look if I tell her we're going and then you call her up and say we're not?" Nate questioned as he attempted to rid some of the sleep from his eyes.

"Do you really want her to like you that much?" Nate didn't try to impress anyone and the thought that he might be now was off-putting.

"I don't give a rats if she likes me or not but I like you and everyone knows that family trumps relationships every time. That is unless the relationship fits well in the family." He'd get Sarah on his side even if it was the last thing he did because he wasn't losing what he and Eliot had over her bitchy mood swings.

"Well then you better get moving." He'd let Nate do as he wished.  
>It was good to see that Nate cared about the waves he might create in his family though he could personally care less about that 'family'.<br>The only ones he did care about were his brother, his sister, and her kids.  
>Everyone else who had meaning or at all mattered was long gone.<p>

"I don't wanna." Nate sighed with another stretch; he really needed to stop backing himself into these corners.  
>At least the ones that had him waking up at six on a Sunday morning.<p>

"Well you're on your own then." Eliot stated as he got up.  
>Nate was weird in the sense that if he stayed there with him he'd consider it hanging out but if he got up and left he'd feel lazy and get up himself.<p>

"I'll be in the shower." Nate barely shared as he dragged himself that way.  
>He really hated when Eliot did that to him.<p>

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"Whatcha doing?" Parker did her best to sneak up on him though in all honesty he had heard her before her foot left the fourth stair coming down.

"Making breakfast." More like teasing himself but there was no reason why they couldn't eat decently.

"Where's Steve?" The cat was always at Eliot's feet and it was a shock that she wasn't now.

"I let her out with the others." Nate had absolutely forbid them coming in but that didn't stop him from letting Parker put them in the basement most nights and when the weather was bad.

"Good I'm going to go feed them." She informed as she glanced into his batter. Pancakes.

"Already did."

"Well then what am I supposed to do?" She huffed as she leaned against the counter.  
>That was her routine and she didn't appreciate him messing with it.<p>

"Get some plates, grab some juice, maybe set the table." The suggestions should have been obvious and they probably were but he said them all the same.  
>By now he knew that Parker tended to crazy it up and dumb it down and she wasn't pulling that on him.<p>

"What are you doing today?" The thief asked as she pulled down three glasses.  
>She doubted they'd be seeing Hardison for another hour at least.<p>

"I'm going to church."

"Can I go!" He was expecting her to ask why he was going not if she could join.

"Why?"

"Because I want to." She crossed her fingers, hoping for a yes.

"Alright I guess." She seemed a little too happy with that answer and he was going to get to the bottom of it. "Now why do you really wanna go?"

"Because it's either sit uncomfortably for an hour or stay here and have Sophie drag me off shopping for the next twelve." And she would too because they honestly had nothing to do until about eight that night. "I'll take the church any day."

"Well as long as your reasons are good and modest." Eliot spoke sarcastically as he platted his fourth set of pancakes.

"You try shopping for a dress with Sophie when there's twenty you haven't worn yet sitting in the back of the closet and then tell me how good and modest your reasons should be." She threw back as she snatched herself a pancake.

"Point taken" Eliot relented as he turned off the flame.  
>Sure he loved Sophie like a sister but like his sister he could only spend so much time with her before he wanted to pull his hair out.<p>

"Who's taking point?" Nate wondered aloud as he walked into the kitchen fully dressed, complete in suit.

"Parker's coming to church with us." Eliot offered as he sat with a glass of juice.  
>He knew it wouldn't be long before he regretted drinking it.<p>

"Why?" Nate asked as he sat next to them.  
>Hopefully she had a better reason than wanting to visit Santa.<p>

"Because she wants to." He had accepted that explanation so there was no reason why Nate shouldn't.

"Why don't you just invite Hardison while you're at it." He had meant it sarcastically but knew he was done for when Parker let out an eager, "Alright" before grabbing herself another pancake and disappearing.

"You brought that on yourself." Eliot shook his head at Nate's disbelieving face as he passed over a newly fixed plate.

"You just…" Eliot was looking way too smug for his liking but he couldn't seem to find the words that would wipe that look away. "Stuff a pancake in it!"

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He was glancing through the closet trying to figure out if Eliot had anything decent to wear and adamantly ignoring the sounds coming from the bathroom.  
>Whether he like it or not this had become their new normal and he was a bit ashamed to say he was growing used to it.<br>In a few minutes Eliot would walk out that door and they'd both pretend for a little while that he hadn't just barfed his brains out.  
>Like that was a normal way to start the day.<p>

"We're out of mouthwash." Eliot spoke vaguely as he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth.

"Alright" Nate looked over to Eliot who was more propped than leaning on the bathrooms door frame. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." The rasp in his voice was an annoyance he found himself trying to clear. "I'm good."

"Well then you should get dressed." He knew enough to know Eliot wasn't being open but he wouldn't call him out on it.

"If I can find something that fits." Carefully he made the short walk over to the closet to start his search.

"What happened to all that stuff Sophie just got you?" He'd gladly let Eliot borrow something, he had numerous times before, only problem was it would drown him.

"She took it back." A black button down was what he ultimately pulled, it was the smallest thing he had.

"Why?" Sophie was the only one of them that didn't purposely avoid clothes shopping which left Eliot with draw string sweats and over sized T-shirts.

"Nothing fit." Eliot shrugged off as he grabbed a pair of jeans from the dresser.  
>That's what he told her to do.<br>There was no use in him keeping even more clothes that he couldn't use.

"What do you mean nothing fit?" Nate questioned as he tossed an undershirt on the bed before entering the bathroom.

"I mean…" A near growl had him setting down his toothbrush. "Dammit!" With that he walked back out of the bathroom to find Eliot sitting on the bed glaring at some blood on his forearm. "How did you-"

"Don't ask." It was safe to say his skin was paper thin.

"Here… let me see." Eliot rolled his eyes at that but Nate grabbed the first aid kit from the dresser and moved to look none the less.  
>After seeing it wasn't much more than a scratch he started to laugh slightly.<p>

"What?" Of course he was annoyed, Nate was laughing at him.

"Who gets hurt changing their shorts?" He wasn't laughing at Eliot as much as he was the situation but still.

"The same person that gets hurt changing a band-aid."

Inadvertently Nate looked down to the one he was pulling the backing from.  
>Once the threats came it was probably best to move on. "Alright… you're good."<p>

"Good" Eliot smirked at the sudden seriousness coming from Nate; it may have been a little funny.

"Are you sure you want to go?" An accident first thing usually indicated there'd be quite a few more before the day's end.  
>That's how they ended up needing a first aid kit right on the dresser to begin with.<p>

"I'm already up and getting dressed." Eliot huffed as he pulled a pant leg over his socked foot.

"Did you take your temperature?" Sure he nagged but he wouldn't take chances when it came to Eliot's heart.

"It was in the normal range." Eliot provided as he carefully worked his sleeve over his PICC line.

"Does that mean it's risen since last night?" Automatically he placed a hand on Eliot's back as he caught the beginnings of a sway. His balance had been absolutely shot as of lately.

"It's fine Nate." He never did tell Nate exact numbers or else he knew the man would calculate degrees.

"You sure?" He questioned as he watched Eliot fasten the last few buttons that would cover his black tank.

"Positive" Eliot spoke absently as he looked around for his boots.

"They're under the bed." Nate answered the unspoken question as he shut the kit and stood, moving back to the bathroom.  
>He had a niggling feeling that Eliot wasn't being completely honest.<p>

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"Where are you going?" Hardison whispered harshly as he followed Nate up the side aisle.  
>This wasn't exactly his scene and he had nearly avoided coming until Sophie showed.<p>

That wasn't the problem but a devious look and her suggesting he join her shopping trip had him stumbling over his own feet to be first seated in the car.

"To sit" Eliot spoke the obvious since it didn't seem like Nate planned to answer at all. "Something you can do at any time." He added when Hardison continued to follow.

"Well alright then…" Hardison huffed at the unspoken message. "Come on Parker." Only when he turned around she wasn't there. "Where the…" It was Nate that spotted her first and he pointed her out before turning into the next pew. His best guest was she had cut right up the middle because she already looked settled in her seat next to Rebecca.

"Hey" Eliot poked Sarah in the shoulder to let her know he was there before sitting directly behind her.

"About time" He ignored the attitude; she was always like that first thing.

"Hi Uncle Eliot" He smiled at Brian as he indicated for him to be quiet and turn around though he was pretty sure it was Becca and Parker that would have the trouble doing so, they were already suppressing giggles in the corner.

"So when's this going to be done?" Hardison asked over Nate from the very end of the pew.

Yup, it was going to be an interesting hour.

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"Excuse me" Nate turned a confused head to see what had been said. "Let me pass."

The urgency in Eliot's eyes had him turning to tell Hardison, "Step out a minute."

"What?" Hardison whispered. He had chosen to tune out everything that wasn't coming from the front after some rude comments had been overheard from an older woman behind him about his height.

"Move!" Nate whispered harshly as he pushed Hardison to do so.

"Is he alright?" Hardison wondered as Eliot rushed past him and he stepped back into the pew.

"I don't know," Nate watched until Eliot disappeared, deciding not to follow as he ushered Hardison to move over so he could step back into the pew himself. "but I'm sure he's fine."

There couldn't have been more than fifteen minutes left in the service but each felt like five for the worry that started to build.  
>Eliot hadn't returned and for every reason that he came up with a worse one followed.<p>

Just when he had decided he couldn't stay there any longer he heard a variation of those endings he had long ago learned and was soon telling Hardison, "I'll be back, wait here."

"Alright" He heard Hardison agree as he made his way through the now dispersing crowd.  
>Within a few minutes he was entering the bathroom with a called out, "Eliot!"<br>There was no answer as he started pushing open stalls. "Eliot!" Still nothing. "Eliot!"

"Yeah?"

That slight yeah had him letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding as the last stall door slowly opened. "No… nothing… I just…" He didn't know what to say as he followed Eliot to the sink. "Mass is over."

"I kind of figured." He was soon splashing water on his face but it didn't do much to wash away his ill feeling.

At times like these there never was a good thing to say so Nate stayed silent as he passed over some paper towels.

"Thanks" Eliot nodded his appreciation as he took a few breaths to ground himself.

"Let's get out of here." He knew that look and he knew it hadn't been a good idea to come.  
>When that unfocused glance set in Eliot's eyes it wasn't long before he was out of it, losing all energy, and sleeping for hours.<p>

"I've got to find my sister." He too was ready to leave but he couldn't go without talking to her.

"Okay" Nate agreed as he opened the door.

Thankfully they didn't have to look very far because she was there to greet them as soon as they walked out. "I've been looking for you."

"Sarah we're going to get going." That was all he wanted to say and now that he had he was good to go.

"To the house cause Aaron just texted me that he's coming and I already invited your friends so we're just going to make a lunch out of it."

"Sarah it's not a good day." Nate explained something he knew Eliot wouldn't.

"But Aaron's coming." She near pouted.  
>It was usually her and Aaron complaining about Eliot having forgotten them but this time Aaron was claiming the role for himself.<br>She hadn't seen him in over a month and it had been even longer for Eliot.

"Give me twenty." Eliot caved.  
>He almost always did when it came to her.<p>

"Good… and don't be late." She gave him a quick hug before taking off.

"Eliot in twenty minutes you'll be passed out on her couch." Nate tried to reason because apparently excitement had flown Sarah's out the window.

"It's as good a place as any." Eliot shrugged as he moved back toward the main hall.

"Eliot you're supposed to set your bulb in an hour." The whole schedule had to be followed to the T.

"I don't care."

"Eliot!"

"Nate!" Eliot stressed trying to show how annoying that could be. "I'll do it when we get back."

"If you don't follow the routine you're going to end up herxing hard." Nate stopped him right outside of the entry way.

"So I herx." Eliot sighed as he looked over to where Hardison and Parker were looking back at him.  
>"If you don't want to go you don't have to but I want to see my brother."<p>

"If that's what you want I'll go." Nate relented.  
>He knew it was wrong but so was leaving him and two wouldn't make a right.<p>

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"What do you think they're talking about?" Parker asked as she caught eyes with Eliot for a second before he looked back to Nate.

"I…" Seriousness was the only thing Hardison picked up as he looked over to the entry way. "don't know. Knowing them it's probably con related."

"I don't think so." Parker shook her head. "See how Nate's got his arms crossed?"

He couldn't see much of Nate from where he was sitting but still he nodded.

"Obviously he doesn't agree with whatever Eliot's saying, but do you see Eliot's face?  
>He's clearly telling Nate that right now his opinion doesn't matter."<p>

"And you got all that from looking at them?" He didn't believe her.  
>Nate constantly crossed his arms and Eliot was looking as grouchy as always.<p>

"Don't believe me, but clearly…" She gestured over to where they had just turned to the back row of candles. "Nate got the message."

"Do you think he lights one every time he comes?" Hardison switched topics.

"I would." Parker watched as Nate lowered the flame onto the wick of a prayer candle.  
>"It's a remembrance of what once was and a belief that it can once again be."<p>

"Alright now, where did Parker go?" She was coming off as observing and caring and he was wondering who had spiked her orange juice.

She didn't bother answering Hardison as she watched Eliot. "Who do you think he's lighting one for?"

Hardison looked over to Eliot who didn't extinguish the flame instead moving it to light a second candle. "For Eliot that list could be endless."

"Hey!" Nate pulled their attention off of Eliot and honestly?  
>Hadn't he just been standing next to the man? "Let's go."<p>

"What about…" Hardison cut himself off as he saw Eliot leaned up against the wall, apparently waiting on them.  
>Those two moved too quick for him. "Come on"<p>

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"Where's Eliot?" Aaron asked as he sat on Sarah's couch.  
>Everyone but Eliot was in the living room.<p>

"He went to drop his coat in the bedroom." Nate offered with a smirk he didn't really understand.

"Did you guys just get here?" Ashlee wondered as she, unlike Aaron, chose not to squish herself someplace she wouldn't fit. Instead she sat politely on the coffee table.

"Nope" Parker popped the word without much attention.  
>She was too busy helping Brian and Becca with a puzzle.<p>

"Then?" Aaron was looking the way Eliot should be appearing from but he wasn't seeing or hearing anything.

"He's not coming back." Nate answered his questioning gaze. "He passed out before he even got the coat off.

"Oh" Now he understood the smirk; it had been an inside joke of sorts.

"Well don't just oh people, what have you been up to mister?" Sarah was looking for a good reason for having been ignored for a month.

"You remember that ranch house I was telling you and Eliot about Pete?"

"Yeah, the witch right?" Immediately Pete saw where this was going.

"She's earned that title tenfold and that's no joke."

"What she do?" Everyone else was listening as they tried to find the tales point but Pete was actually interested.

"She couldn't get it together so instead of starting first thing in June we just barely did like three weeks ago and that's when she realized she still has to pay for June. She threw a fit but what was I supposed to do with all the guys we scheduled? They cleared that month and I'm not gonna not pay 'em for it but them checks sure ain't comin' out of my pocket either." Not with a wedding to pay for.

"Some nag has been why you've ignored me!" She should have known.  
>Her brothers didn't put anything before work.<p>

"Ignored you?" Ashlee laughed at that. "I've barely seen him and I live with him!"

"Me and some of the guys are on overtime to try and get this train wreck back on schedule.  
>That and the sooner we finish the sooner we rid ourselves of this she devil." Every time she showed it was with a pointless complaint.<p>

"You see…" Pete laughed at the remark. "I told you, that's why I work with computers."

"You do!" Hardison immediately perked up with that. "What do you do?"

"I'm an automotive designer."

"Really!" Now that was interesting. Eliot had a geek in the family!

"You're drooling." Nate mock whispered.  
>Ten seconds ago he had looked ready for a nap.<p>

"Do you work with computers too?" In this house he was always teased for liking them.  
>If anyone did talk to him it was strictly for the cars.<p>

"You could say that." Hardison said with a devious smirk.

"What do you do?" Pete's question got a few exaggerated sighs but he didn't care.

"I don't have a specialty per say but I've dabbled just about everywhere. I've seen my fair share of security and hijacking systems too." It was Pete's turn to 'Really!' which earned him another set of sighs and Parker's mumbled, "Get a room already."

"Do you work for Nate too?" Eliot hadn't been specific and she hadn't bothered to ask.

"Yup, I'm just another employee over here." Hardison answered as he gave Nate a stank look. "No respect, no appreciation, I'm just a dime a dozen."

"What he is is an exaggeration," Nate threw back. "and technical support."

"Technical support! Technical support is all I am to you!" He'd let them all know how under appreciated he was.

"Well at least until you buy me dinner." The discomfort Hardison was showing was priceless, not to mention the shared look between Aaron and Sarah.

"Ungrateful" He'd let Nate have the sarcasm; they knew.

"Do you offer anything other than complaints?" Nate sighed.

"Technical support" Hardison's grin was absolutely cocky not to mention cheesy and it had Nate smirking slightly.

"You guys have worked together a long time haven't you?" Ashlee knew that type of bickering.  
>She had heard it plenty between her father and his friends growing up.<p>

"What's it been now?" Hardison asked in general.

"It's been five… maybe a little over five years." Nate answered distantly as he tried to do the math.

"Yeah about five years now." Hardison agreed. "I've taken some time in between. You know… do a little free lancing, but I like the group I work with so I try not to stray too far."

"And Eliot's worked with you that entire time too?" She knew Eliot had said something about it but she couldn't be sure.

"Before I started this business I just needed help with the one job which is how I first met Eliot, Hardison, and Parker.  
>Then a little ways down the road I decided why not turn that job into two or ten even.<br>So yeah, that was about how we got started and they've been with me since that first day." It seemed like a forever ago.

"What does your business entail exactly?" Aaron looked to Nate to see how he was going to go about answering Sarah's question but Nate didn't seem even a little fazed.

"Well we're a self reliant business, there's nothing worse than announcing yourself as a fish in a room full of sharks if you know what I mea-" He was cut off mid word by his phone going off. "Sorry about this." Nate apologized as he stood from his seat.

"It's fine" Sarah assured as she watched him move away to answer the call.

"So, have you lived here long?" Hardison asked to change a touchy subject.

"In the house or the state?" Sarah questioned as she peeled her eyes from Nate.

"Either, or both" He honestly didn't care what her answer was because he was pretty sure he knew what Nate's call was about.

"I've lived in Oklahoma my whole life but we got this house a bit before Becca was born."

"Well it's a nice place."

"Why thank you." The compliment added to the pride she took in her home.

"Sarah did you call Megan?" Ashlee asked partly because she wanted to know and partly because she didn't like the odd silence that was settling. Aaron was looking down the hall clearly spaced, Pete had just left to do she didn't know what, and Parker was still intent on the kids' puzzle so the conversation was left to flow between the three of them.

"I didn't but I did make that appointment with Dan for you and he said he might have found you the wedding band."

"You know I DJ'd at a wedding once." Hardison threw in just to do so.

"Really? You've been in the wedding business?" Now that was a shocker.

"Naw, but I've got connections. If you need something just call me and I guarantee I can get it for ya'."

"That's a generous offer." Ashlee replied humbly though she knew she wouldn't accept it.  
>She didn't know him well enough to.<p>

"That's what you do for family." They both gave him strange looks so he went on to explain. "Eliot's like a brother, hell he is a brother so that'd give ya'll in the very least a cousin rating. Besides a wedding don't come along all that often so why not make sure you get a decent one." He had to admit he had a soft side for stuff like that.

"I'll keep that in mind."Ashlee wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel about being so welcomed into a near strangers family but it looked as if she had just earned herself another cousin.

"Good I-"

"Hardison!" Nate cut off as he moved back over to them. "Change of plans."

"What now?" That saying usually meant they were going to try and pull some half baked scheme that would just barely work. If they were lucky.

"We've lost about six hours." Nate spoke nonchalantly.

"You're kidding!" Of course Nate sounded at ease he wasn't the one left scrambling.

"Not likely" Nate offered seriously. "Parker let's go."

"But I just found the tail." She showed him the mentioned piece with an exasperated sigh.

"You're leaving?" Both Sarah and Ashlee asked in variations.

"Yeah" Nate barely notified as he urged Parker to the door before a thought suddenly dawned on him. "Is it alright if Eliot stays here?"

"Of course." That answer should have been an obvious.

"Thank you" The other two had already exited but once again he stopped himself from doing so. "Just umm… tell him it was an emergency… and…" Looking at three different faces had him thinking of what he could say judging by who knew what but honestly, he didn't care right now. "That I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Pete asked as he entered the room glass in hand.

"Nothing" Both Sarah and Ashlee let out quickly before looking at each other the same way.

If only they knew.

* * *

><p><strong>EN:Wow ya'll I never expected we'd be reaching fifty chapters!  
>That's a huge milestone for me and though I would say here's to fifty more I'm not quite ready to set myself up for that kind of down fall LOL<strong>

**What do you think about Eliot giving in so quickly?**  
><strong>Personally I'd say I like the rebellious Eliot better but that's probably because it brings out a more dominant and aggressive Nate which I love!<strong>  
><strong>Seriously, last chapters blow up? My mind nearly exploded... I was like 'Hold up a minute Nate, I'm trying to write all this down!' I swear had it been a different story that would have gone a whole other way (sexual tension anyone)<strong>

**Anyone else loving how Pete and Hardison starting geeking it out?**  
><strong>That was just too adorkable to pass up... I love this thing, and I love all of you so I'll stop with the rant before this note gets longer than the chapter (though another glance at it has me doubting that possible)<strong>

**I'm not sure if I should be boasting or apologizing for the length, what do you think? ****  
><strong>


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter Fifty-One**

"You're staring." Eliot spoke quietly as he slowly opened his eyes.  
>The weight of someone's gaze having been what ultimately woke him.<p>

"Sorry" Aaron mumbled as he turned his focus but just as quickly turned it back; he couldn't help it.

"What's wrong?" There was a somber set in his brother's eyes and it was unnerving.

"Nothing" He shook off Eliot's worry as he watched him reposition himself on the bed.

"You never were a good liar."

"I don't know El it's just… I don't know." Eliot stayed quiet knowing Aaron would find his words if given the time but he nearly fell back asleep before finally he did."It's work, and this wedding, and… and it's you."

"Me?" He already knew he'd be on the list but he'd provoke Aaron into opening up anyway. "What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything you just…" Aaron sighed out in frustration. "I've been worried about you ya know. So I decided to come up and see for myself that it's all been in my head and you're fine."

"I am fine."

"Have you seen yourself Eliot!" He couldn't believe those words had just come out of Eliot's mouth. "You're a twig!"

"So I lost a little weight." He was really getting tired of all the skinny remarks; Sarah had even started calling him boo.

"A little! You're smaller than Ashlee and not just that, you look like hell man."

"And most days I feel it but what can I do?" If there was a magical solution he would have been all over it by now.

"What about that line you got?" Surely that was doing something for him.

"It is what it is." He wouldn't mention the fact that he hated it with a passion and was ready to rip it out.

"Let me see." Sarah had said it looked nasty but she tended to exaggerate.

"What are you four?" Eliot insulted playfully as he undid the button on his wrist before pushing up his sleeve.

"That's…" It was all covered but still he got a good look seeing as the bandaging was clear. "weird."

"That's one way to put it." He had heard many opinions on it but his favorite was still Becca's icky.

"Did it hurt going in?" He couldn't begin to imagine how it would feel to have something actually inserted in your vein.

"Naw, It was off puttin' but it wasn't bad." It left him wondering how it would feel coming out.

"Can you actually feel it in your arm?"

"Sometimes I think I can but that's probably just in my head." He was known for his paranoia.

"Is there restrictions with that or what?" Experimentally Aaron poked at the tubing but Eliot didn't seem to mind.

"I'm not supposed to get it wet, sneeze, cough, puke, breathe too heavily, or lift any real weight."

"What are you supposed to do?" Eliot sounded off put and honestly he didn't blame him.

"That's a good question." If it wasn't his doctor telling him no to something it was Nate. "Usually I sleep or watch TV."

'Sounds awesome." That would drive him mad so he couldn't even imagine what it had to be doing to Eliot.

"The best" Eliot snarked.

"So it's not helping?" All sarcasm aside the worry hadn't budged.

"Aaron don't" That was a tone that left him feeling guilty no matter who it came from.

"Every time I see you you're worse off than the last time Eliot. I'm starting to feel like I'm losing you." To him it was a very realistic fear.

"Aaron" And here came that guilt.

"Sarah called me the other day and I swear I thought she was gonna tell me you were gone." His phone had once rang in the middle of the night and though it had been a wrong number it had left him with an uneasy feeling that left him unable to return to sleep.

"Come here" The man sitting there might have been grown but all he saw was his baby brother. "I ain't goin' nowhere." He gave his brother a quick hug before pushing him back. "That's a promise, now stop being a sappy ass and go give your girl a nice night."

"Reassuring and touching, I'm honored." Aaron spoke sarcastically as he looked into a horribly pale face.

"Go on…" He couldn't bring himself to listen to any more of it. "and tell Ashlee I said happy anniversary."

"Alright," Aaron stood to leave knowing they had stayed way longer than he had promised Ashlee they would. "and you can say the same to Nate about his birthday." Still he had a bad feeling that had him wanting to stay. He doubted it would leave but he had to so he settled on saying, "I love ya."

"Like I said," He could see the unspoken fear in his brother's eyes and it had his burning. "Sappy ass."

"I'll see ya later." Aaron bid with a faint smile as he pulled the door closed behind himself leaving Eliot to his thoughts.

It hurt to know they were all thinking on some level that he was dying or coming close to it when he was right there still very much alive.  
>Only he wasn't.<br>He was a shell, had joined the living dead, was no longer useful for anything.

Somewhere within he knew it wasn't true but that's how he felt thanks to the mood swings and depression that had long ago joined him.  
>The only way he knew to rid himself of the feelings was to leave the thoughts behind and the only way he knew to do that was to keep busy.<br>That decided he got up to find out where everyone else was, passing his jacket on the way and wondering how it got there. He didn't remember taking it off. "Sarah!" The living room was absolutely empty and it was way too quiet for the seven people that should be there. "Sarah!"

"In the kitchen!" He could have deducted that if he tried but really he hadn't.

"Where is everyone?" She was obviously getting ready to make something but she was alone.

"Well Ashlee and Aaron just left and Pete took Brian out."

A glance at the clock told him he had been sleeping for a few hours. "What about Parker and Hardison?"

"They've been gone a couple hours now and Nate went with 'em." She spoke factually as she pulled eggs from the fridge.

"They just left?" That didn't sound like Nate.

"Yup" Sarah popped as she set a bowl on the counter. "Oh… and Nate said sorry but it was an emergency. Whatever that means."

"He's working." Eliot explained what ironically enough she just had as he tried to figure out what she was doing.  
>Judging by the ingredients baking was obvious but what was the question.<p>

'You guys and your work. That's all I ever here." The family was full of workaholics.

"Where's Becca?" She had accounted for everyone but.

"She's taking a nap." For a moment she listened a little harder than necessary satisfied with the nothing she heard.

"What are you doing here?" Eliot asked as he squeezed the orange she'd just retrieved.

"Making zucchini bread." Chocolate quickly found its way to the counter.

'You're making some chocolate zucchini bread?" He was skeptical of that.

"Yeah as soon as I find the recipe." She knew about what went in there but not the exact measurements.

"A recipe?" He might as well have said really for how questioning it came out.

"Yes a recipe, unless you know a better way of doing it." She knew that would shut his judgment right up.

"Maybe not better."

It was so open ended that it had her questioning with an, "Oh really?"

"Yes really" He sort of had a recipe but it wasn't on any paper.

"Alright hot stuff you show me how to do it." This was going to be entertaining.

"Alright then" She sounded too cocky to deny.  
>It looked like his sister was about to learn he really wasn't such a fool in the kitchen.<p>

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"Now would have been a good time for a hitter." Nate heard through his com as he darted through a side door exit.

"Ya think!" His fist was throbbing. "Now shut up and get going!"  
>These last few cons had gone anything but according to plan and it was really starting to get annoying.<p>

"Touchy aren't we?"

"Hardison!" The fresh air was doing absolutely nothing to help him catch his breath.

"Don't Hardison me. You think anybody else could do what I do?"

He could hear people in passing and he took it as a sign that Hardison was on the move. "Right now yeah… since you're doing nothing!"

"Speak for yourself man I'm there."

"Well be there and be gone." Came a distant reply from Parker who was playing lookout on a roof across the way.

"Five minutes people." Sophie whispered softly.  
>She hoped between her distraction and Nate's stall that that countdown was accurate.<p>

"Does it look like I need five minutes?"

"Good… because we don't got them." Parker killed Hardison's cockiness. "Nate move!"

"What? What are you seeing Parker?" She sounded completely serious and he wasn't finding the reason.

"Just move man! Move!" She was already running toward him. "Unless you feel like dying today get your butt moving!"

"Par-" He was about to question until he saw what was coming for him around the corner. "Damn it!" The only thought he could manage as he took off running for all he was worth was that dying was an understatement.

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"Where'd you learn how to do this?" In all honesty she had been waiting for the whole charade to blow up in his face only to find it wasn't a charade.

"Is it really that surprising that I know how to do something other than grunt work?" Eliot huffed as he continued to wash his hands.

"But baking Eliot?" She knew both Pete and Aaron would be pulling his chain.

"Yeah baking, I'm not a complete twit Sarah."

"Coming from the man that burns everything." Mentioning burning things had her checking the oven to make sure they were still in the good.

"That was an experiment gone wrong. I do not burn everything." Geeze, he let her believe that cooking wasn't his strongest suit but she obviously thought he was just plain dumb when it came to anything in the kitchen.

"So are you saying you cook?" If so she was going to call him out for lying.

"We've gotta eat." She was too skeptical for something so simple.

"We've?" Skip calling him out; she wanted to know who the plural referred to.

"Me, Nate, sometimes the other three." A sharp pain in his calf had him going to take a seat.

"You cook for Nate?" She found that extremely amusing.

"Yeah I…" He cut himself off feeling like that question was somehow loaded. "No not for…"  
>It was a near giggle from her that had him catching on. "You… jus-… Shut up!"<p>

"You're like a little homemaker." The dishes would probably be something good to start on but she ignored them in favor of plopping herself down in front of Eliot.

"Sarah seriously, shut up." He could hear the kind of jokes that were on the way and they weren't appreciated.

"Well since you cook does he clean?" It'd be interesting to hear how his day to day went.

"I don't 'cook' how you're suggesting it. If I make something it's because I wanted to or that's what I felt like doing at the time.  
>It isn't because I have to or someone told me to. Nate's the same way and that goes for cleaning to." He'd laugh in her face if she was expecting him to say he cooked, cleaned, and ironed for Nate like some servant.<p>

"So what if neither of you wants to make dinner but you're both hungry?" Surely one of them would take their annoyance to the kitchen and do it anyway.

"That's when you call for take out." That glint in her eye was clear; she was trying to trip him up.

"Alright, but what if there's no towels and someone wants a shower?" She just couldn't believe it always worked the way he said.

"Well who wants a shower?" His knee cracked with a nasty pop but he ignored both the pain and the sound as he waited for his answer.

"Mmmm… Nate." She finally decided as she moved over to the counter across from him, choosing to sit on it after a seconds thought.

"Then Nate's takin' himself to go do the towels. He's usually the one that uses them all anyway." It was something that annoyed him to no end.

"What about lately?" Thinking about how he'd spent the last few months turned the tone a little more somber.

"I told you already… he's been good to me." Embarrassment and guilt sat heavily in his heart for everything Nate had been doing for him.  
>Even if he repaid him a thousand times over he knew those feelings wouldn't budge.<p>

"Why does that bother you?" Just by the way he said it she could tell it did.

"It's…" He just shook his head.  
>It wasn't something he'd explain to her.<p>

"It's what you do when you love someone Eliot." He simply nodded and she let it be.  
>She couldn't understand why he would need reassurance of that.<p>

"Mommy!" Anything that may have been building between them soon flew the coop as Becca showed.

"What's up kiddo?" Sarah asked as her little girl stepped between them.

"Nothing"

"Nothin'?" Eliot echoed as he tugged on a piggy tail. "Something's got to be up there."

Rebecca looked confused and Sarah felt Sorry. "Tell Uncle Eliot to stop being silly."

"Stop being silly." Rebecca repeated sassily.

"Me? Silly?" He exaggerated his words as he snuck a hand around to tickle her which quickly had her giggling.

"Eliot she's gotta breath." Sarah warned through a fond smile.  
>She loved watching him with kids and she wouldn't give up on the thought of him having his own just yet.<p>

"I wanna make cupcakes." Becca announced.

"Well good for you miss missy but cupcakes are only for special occasions." She was immune to the puppy pout.

"Tell mama it is a special occasion." Eliot advised Becca as he stared into Sarah's glare.

"It is." Becca pleaded.

"And what is that mister?" She was trying to avoid the situation because she knew in Becca world making cupcakes really meant sitting down and eating a tub of frosting.

"Aaron's got an anniversary." Let her try to shoot that down.

"And that would have been all good and fine had we gotten them done before he left but he's not here so we're without point." It wasn't happening.

"Come here," Eliot pulled Rebecca closer to whisper in her ear. "…you tell mama that."

"It's Nay-Nay's birthday!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Eliot" Sarah looked into sparkling and devious eyes soon being given a shrug and a smirk. "What kind?"

"Chocolate!" Both Rebecca and Eliot let out.  
>He was all for letting the girl have a cupcake.<p>

"Alright but you can't have any until he gets here." She was hoping that would be long after dinner.

"Spoil sport" Eliot snarked as he got up to help.  
>No way were they using a box mix.<p>

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"That was too close." Sophie sighed as she tossed her purse to the couch.

"I'll work it better next time." Nate dismissed as he moved to the kitchen.

"You do know that I'm not blaming you right?" He only handed her lines like that when he was looking to silence her.

"Never said you were." After how stressful the day had been a beer would be great but he settled for some water instead.

"Nate you-"

"You guys!" Hardison's voice cut her off and soon he and Parker joined them in the kitchen. "We're going to go have a celebration dinner, you wanna come?" With the absolute scale of con this one turned out to be it was a miracle the four of them had managed to pull it off themselves, nonetheless without needing a trip to the hospital.

"I've got some things to…" Nate shrugged off the rest of his explanation.

"Soph?"

"No thank you, but you two have a nice night." Sophie declined politely.

"Are you sure?" Parker double checked.

"Yeah… and actually we're taking the week so feel free to disappear until next Monday." Hopefully they took that advice and gave him some space.

"Alright then, we're out of here." Hardison didn't even have to speak for Parker who had already left.

"Is there a particular reason you are trying to get rid of us?" Him giving them time off was extremely suspicious.

"Soph why don't you go join them for dinner." He suggested exasperatedly.  
>He did not need her trying to shrink his brain right now.<p>

"Why don't you?" She tossed the question back.

"I already said that there's a few things looking for my attention." He wasn't sure why but conversation didn't flow as easily between them as it once had.

"Like Eliot?" She knew he was with his sister but had only seen her a few times even though the others seemed to be quite chummy when together.

"Not everything is always about Eliot Sophie. I do have a life ya know."  
>Mentioning Eliot had him thinking he should call and let him know he was still alive and kicking.<p>

"So you not going to dinner has nothing to do with the fact that Eliot usually makes them when we're celebrating?" She could tell something was up with him. He hadn't as much as cracked half a smirk at their victory.

"No, it doesn't." It had everything to do with the fact that they'd reached such a victory without Eliot and he felt like celebrating it would be the same as saying they no longer needed him. "Alright?"

"If you insist." She'd let it slide. For now. "I'll see you Monday." Perhaps she would join the others for dinner.

"Night Soph" Nate offered, soon after hearing the front door shut.

It was then that his fist reminded him of his earlier actions causing him to rub tender and split knuckles.  
>Sure he could hold his own when it came to throwing a punch or two but this hard core stuff wasn't for him.<br>"Eliot," He admired the man in a whole new way. "you're insane."

Or it could very possibly be that he was since there he was talking to himself. "What do you think Steve?"  
>The trip to the house had been a long one and he was pretty warn out. "Should I go get Eliot?"<br>The cat was staring at him, but the funny thing was his staring back. "Steve, you're a cat. I'm talking to a cat!"  
>And now he was stating the obvious. "I've got to get out of here."<p>

Nate lifted his keys as he passed the fur ball on his way out of the kitchen.  
>The way things went for him the cat would probably start talking back.<p>

"Don't trash the place." Nate found himself saying regardless as he opened the front door. "And stay off the bed!"

With that he pulled the door closed.  
>He was definitely cracking.<p>

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"They sleeping?" Eliot asked Sarah as she came back down the stairs.

"Brian's griping about sharing a bedtime with Becca but he still knocked out pretty quick." Sarah explained as she stretched out next to Eliot on the couch.

"Was she disappointed that Nate didn't show?" She hadn't seemed it but he wanted to know if Sarah picked up on something he hadn't.

"She got a cupcake Eliot; she could care less if you told her Santa wasn't coming this year."

Eliot smirked at that and though Sarah tried to match it a yawn prevented her from doing so. "You should go to sleep."

"Naw, I've got a few things to finish before I can call it a night." She stretched further annoyed with the knowledge that she needed to get up.

"So do 'em tomorrow Sarah even Pete threw in the towel." There was nothing she could mention to him that he'd believe held such importance and priority that it couldn't be put off a few hours.

"And what about you?" She didn't feel right leaving him on his own.

"I'm fine right here for now." The living room was packed with different kinds of entertainment and there were surely worse places than a plush and spacious couch to doze.

"I meant if you were leaving tonight." With Eliot she couldn't just assume he'd be there come morning.

"I don't know if Nate's coming but if he does then yeah."

Sarah simply nodded at that, standing to head to the stairs. "If you do then call me… and lock up behind yourself!"

Eliot didn't bother with a remark, an eye roll yes, but a remark no.  
>Like he'd really just walk out the door and leave it wide open.<p>

With a sigh he pulled his feet onto the couch and turned off the table lamp.  
>It wasn't long before the hall light followed leaving the room completely dark, that was until he flipped the TV on.<br>He wasn't all that interested in watching it but it served its purpose as filler to keep his mind clear and soon he found himself drifting.

With the comfort of his nose buried in a cool cushion it wasn't long before he was falling to a deep slumber with the television more watching him than he it. Shadows danced across the room in time with a dialogue that could barely be heard through such silence until they were interrupted by a noise from outside and with them Eliot. He didn't know what had woken him but the slamming of a car door had him pretty sure; tires on gravel.

Still he stayed where he was, a sleepy part of his mind hoping it was for the neighbors.  
>No such luck came though and he was up and to the front door before the second stair even finished its creak.<br>"I didn't think you were coming." He startled Nate who hadn't been paying much attention.

"Well" Nate sighed as he met him in the doorway. "I wasn't going to."  
>An earlier thought about all the lights being out had him asking, "Is everyone sleeping already?"<p>

"It was a long day." Eliot offered as he opened the door wider for Nate.

"You can say that again." It wasn't all that late but he was exhausted.

"Becca made you something." Eliot announced with a barely stifled yawn.

He followed Eliot to the kitchen with an, "Oh really?"

"Yeah she wanted to surprise you." Eliot flicked on the light as he gestured to a container on the counter.

"What is it?" Nate asked though he was pretty sure he knew.  
>After all it was a cake container.<p>

"Open it"

Nate did and his face soon turned to confusion. "What's it say?" He read 'appy day' which didn't make much sense.

"It's supposed to say happy birthday but the kids got at 'em… well them and Pete." Mainly Pete but who was judging.

"Whose birthday?" Nate asked absently as he took in the decoration of the lettering.  
>No doubt it was Becca's work.<p>

He couldn't believe the sincerity he was hearing from Nate. "Yours! She made them for you!"

"Me?" He had to let those words sink in. "It's not my birthday."

"Yeah it is you idiot!" Eliot couldn't help but laugh at him.  
>He didn't see how he'd made it through the entire day without figuring that out.<p>

"No it's…" He pulled out his phone to get a date and sure enough, "it is."

"I know" He could see the embarrassment Nate was starting to show and he was greatly amused.

"Well you could have told me."

"I did" Eliot reminded as he moved closer. "You were just too stubborn to listen."

"Well maybe you should have been more persuasive." Nate raised an eyebrow with a smirk and Eliot offered one of his own with a slight hello kiss.

"Let's get out of here and I'll show you how persuasive I can be."

"Will you now?" Such a line from Eliot was rare as of lately and he planned on taking full advantage of it.

"Mhmm" He was in an all around good mood.  
>Not only had he not started the horrible process of herxing like they thought he would but he had actually eaten a bit for dinner and had it stay down.<p>

"Well then it's a good thing no one's at the house. As a matter of fact it's just ours for the next week."  
>Well at least it had better be. He had all but told the others to buzz off.<p>

"They can have it." Eliot shrugged as he pulled at Nate's tie to get it off.  
>Sure the guy looked good dressed up but he preferred things a little more simple, down to earth even.<p>

"They can?" Not to complain but Eliot was kind of killing the illusion.

"Yeah…" After sharing a home with three others the appeal of going to it just wasn't the same.  
>"I've got a place in mind that will give any of your ideas a run for their money."<p>

"And what kind of place is that?" With Eliot there was no way he'd guess.

A devious look and a languid kiss accompanied Eliot's near whispered, "Does it matter?"

Nate just shook his head at that.  
>He didn't know what had gotten into Eliot but he didn't plan on spoiling it.<br>They could go to the moon for all he cared.

"Then lets go." With a last longing look Nate went to the door to wait as Eliot made a detour to the bedroom to grab his shoes and coat.

"You ready?" Nate asked with a waiting hand on the light switch.  
>The last thing he needed was Eliot stumbling over himself in the dark.<p>

"Yeah I…" His words stopped as he got a glimpse of something that started up a slow anger. "What happened to your hand?"

Nate didn't need to look down to know what Eliot was talking about; his protective nature was definitely shining through.  
>"Like you said," The job was done and he didn't plan on bringing it back up. "it was a long day."<p>

Eliot let out something close to a growl but didn't question it.

"So about this place of yours…" Curiousness set in as he waited for Eliot to pull the door closed.  
>"Are we talking five stars or below the stars?" Steps were next but he took lead once Eliot downed them.<br>A slightly amused huff had him continuing to pry as he turned to the truck with his keys.  
>"A skylight or moon light?" He heard Eliot move around the truck just as he got his side open.<br>"What? No comment?" He looked over expecting to see some kind of look or gesture from Eliot, instead he saw no Eliot.

"Babe!" Nothing. "Eliot?" The silence he got had him moving to the other side. "How did you fall over!"  
>The half attempt Eliot was making at getting up was slightly amusing, that was until his arm went out and he went limp. "You want help?"<br>Eliot didn't seem to care he was near kissing rocks. "Come on, give me your hand and I'll help you." There was no movement which had him immediately squatting next to Eliot. "El?" He shook his shoulder but got nothing. "Eliot!" In no time he flipped him seeing a face void of any awareness. "Eliot" Tapping his face got Nate nowhere. "Eliot… Eliot don't you do this to me!" All that he was getting from him was shallow breaths. "No! We are not… do you hear me? We are not doing this again!" He pulled out his phone with urgency as he waited for a response he knew wasn't coming. "Damn it Eliot! You get your ass up." Once again he was sitting there uselessly with Eliot's head in his lap. "Eliot… Eliot please…" The words were so thick with suppressed tears that he could barely answer when he finally heard that operator ask, "911 what is your emergency?"

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Happy Birthday Nate?**  
><strong>Anyone? Anyone at all? I didn't think so... I'm sorry Eliot;_;<strong>  
><strong>I just figured that as nice as Eliot's birthday was that Nate needed to share in that fun<strong>  
><strong>Plus Tim's birthday is coming up too so there had to be a little something extra<strong>

**Who else finds it funny that Nate was born on the 12th and Timothy on the 16th of August?**  
><strong>Had I known that at the time I would have just made it the same dang day lol<strong>

**It's also weird how this update lined up perfectly with the correct date, well besides the fact that it's a year behind (August 12th 2012) though if you've been paying attention to the story you've probably caught the irony in updating today anyway.**

**Ya'll remember what will happen on August 12th 2013 in the Neliot verse don't ya?**  
><strong>I'm sure you'll let me know and once more I'm sorry but I just had to; remember though if you hurt me I hurt Eliot!<strong>


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: I know and I'm so sorry but things have been extremely crazy!  
>I just recently pulled a Parker which I followed up by an Eliot (if you read Working in The Market you know what I'm talking about) If not the simple version goes, I quit my job in a load of rage and quickly followed it up in a ball of anger which funnily enough led me to a new job. That has had me having to rearrange and reschedule pretty much everything and somehow ff time got nearly squeezed out, BUT I'm pushing hard and I've seemed to have found a pocket of time in the madness to fit it in. This might be a little short but I promise I'm trying hard and I appreciate everyone's support.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Two<strong>

"Sir if you could wait in the WAITING room that would be wonderful." Bethany, a head nurse there, suggested.  
>Nate's pacing was driving her insane.<p>

"Wha'?" He lifted his head to see what had been said.

"Come on Nate." Sarah spoke tiredly. "You can come sit with me."  
>She had been sleeping but it was kind of hard to miss the arrival of an ambulance outside your house.<p>

"Alright" Nate relented as he gave the nurses station a distasteful glare.  
>"So…" No sooner than they sat was Nate bouncing a knee and she knew she'd have to<br>distract him if she wanted to stay sane herself. "Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?"

Those words had Nate suspicious; she was acting as if it was tea time. "What do you want to know?"

"I don't know. How about your family? You got any family?" That topic seemed safe enough. Who didn't have family?

"My dad's running around out there somewhere." It was kind of pathetic that he didn't have an exact location.

"You never had a family of your own? No kids or…?" She shrugged figuring why not take the time to learn something about him.

"No… not anymore." He didn't care what she thought.  
>Besides Aaron already knew he was divorced.<p>

After that Sarah fell silent as she tried to decide what to say.  
>An apology seemed like it would insult him. "You know Eliot says you're no good for each other."<p>

"Does he now?" It didn't surprise him in the least that Eliot would say something like that.

"But he also said you aren't good for anyone else." She'd say it was a compliment coming from him.

"There aren't many people that can put up with me all day every day." Surely she knew that.

"And he does?" That was shocking.

"Heck no! He's usually first to chew me out." A slight smirk accompanied those words.

"So ya'll do fight a lot?" She didn't remember quite what Eliot had said but she knew it had come up.

"I wouldn't say fight but…" He sighed deeply as he tried to figure out what it was that he wanted to say. "It's hard ya know… It's just… it's hard."

"Anything worth having is worth fighting for." Sarah reminded.  
>She didn't like how emotionally exhausted he seemed.<p>

"It's been a battle so far and most days I'm pretty sure he'd be better off without me." It was the truth.

"It worries him when you talk like that." It was something else she had seen in her brother that she never thought she would.

"With all of this and how many times we've been just on the edge of splitting he worries me."  
>If she wanted to talk worry they might as well talk about where they were sitting right now.<p>

"But you said it yourself… you're on the edge. Obviously something's keeping you from going over." Sarah reasoned as she let out a slight yawn.

"Well yeah… I love the fool."

That made her smile as she thought back to Eliot's exact same declaration. Well almost exact, there was a slight difference between an idiot and a fool. "You should do what I do. When you get mad at him just think of the first time you told him you loved him and let the good overtake the bad."

"That was a day I'd rather not think about." Hostage situations didn't tend to make good memories.

"Then think about the first time he told you." The main point was finding good memories.

"He left me for four months that night." He didn't think her theory would work.

Her face was clearly quizzical. "Or you could just write a book of love don'ts and make a million."

"Are we that bad?" If he was a little meaner he'd laugh in her face for the suggestion.

"I don't think so but you both act it." In that way they were perfect for each other.

"Past experiences" The explanation was simple enough and truthful enough.

"Past is the operative word Nate… as in you're supposed to leave it there." If they couldn't let go of what was and had it was no wonder they were always fighting.

"We try but the odds never seem to be in our favor." The remark had him thinking of the plans they had just made that obviously weren't going to be followed through. "I just took the week actually and you see what that got me."

"What was it that happened?" All she did know was that Eliot was in a bad way.

"I don't know. We were talking about a place he wanted to go and the next thing I do know is he's on the ground and he's not answering me." The thought brought back ill feelings from Easter night; this night held too many similarities.

"How long do you think they'll be?" She wasn't a very patient person.

"It could be hours." It already felt like a dozen had passed. "The paramedics were talking about possible shock and respiratory distress."

"He couldn't breathe?!"

"By the time we got here he was on oxygen."

"I got news for Aaron… it is like Papa." Her voice went hollow and he was soon questioning it.

"What's like him?"

"Our granddaddy was as healthy as a horse and seeing as he was deployed three times he was damn proud of it. Just like Eliot his sick days were nearly nonexistent and you had to all but force him to call the day done, that was until one morning he was out for the count. He spent weeks suffering and struggling before they came up with cancer and by then there really wasn't much they could do about it."

Cancer was a bitch, or in the very least that was his opinion. "Was he the Bonanza lover or the one you spent the summers with?"

"Both, my mom's parents were the only grandma and grandpa we knew. My dad was raised by a single mother and she died before he even got married." She was pretty sure that could partly explain his cold nature.

"Do you have any Aunts or Uncles?" Eliot didn't talk much about family leaving him to believe there wasn't much of it.

"My dad's brother William and his wife Sheela. I've only seen Uncle Bill twice though  
>and I've yet to meet my cousins." It was safe to say they didn't keep in contact.<p>

"So it really is just you three pretty much." He figured Eliot may have exaggerated the bit about it being just him and his siblings but Sarah's words were kind of supporting it.

"Hopefully it can stay that way." Another glance at the empty doorway had her patience fraying.

"Now don't you start giving up on him just yet." That was one thing he'd refuse to let her do.

"No… of course not, he's gonna make it through this. He's already proved that he can." Her faith was false.  
>Right now she was trying to decide if he'd go from starvation or one of these many falls.<p>

"He has proved it and you should believe it. He's gonna come out the other end of this just in time to yell at you for even thinking you'd get rid of him." Maybe she was being reasonable for the situation but all he heard was negative.

"I'm not scared of him." Sarah did her best to lighten the mood and rid themselves of such a dark topic.

"Are you suggesting that I am?" There was a tease in her gaze but she didn't speak a word and that's how he left it.

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"How did they miss something like that?" asked an appalled nurse as she dabbed the sweat away from a focused brow.

"Better question is can we find it?" He didn't like the amount of blood he was staring down into. "Suction"

"You want to see those scans again?" came a voice from standby.

"I want to see that shrapnel." For how good they were doing him he was pretty much going in blind. "Clamp"

"Clamp" She repeated, passing it over as she shared a look with the woman across the way.

"Do we have origin?"

"Four months ago, entry point was mid right thigh." The memory of their 'machine' spoke. "It was labeled as a complete extraction."

"Or so they thought."

"You know what that means?" An acknowledging look met each member of his team before he spoke factually.  
>"We're going to get this man closed up just in time to open him again."<p>

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The better half of twelve hours had passed and though Sarah had fallen asleep many ago he was still as alert and awake as ever.  
>He was a man of action and it was killing him to simply stand by and do nothing.<p>

Parker had already advised him that she and Hardison were taking a trip back to Boston and he hadn't said anything against it.

He had given them all the week and he wasn't going to take it back so they could all wait by miserably in the hospital together.  
>He was already doing it for them.<p>

Still minutes ticked by and he wished there was a window to focus some of his tension and energy out of.  
>Instead he picked up a pattern of taps on the handle of his chair thinking about what they'd do once Eliot was discharged because despite such a great amount of time passing by he knew they'd be leaving today. They had to, or at least that's what he was telling himself.<p>

It was all he could do to keep a semblance of calm.  
>Any other conclusion would surely have him melting down or freaking out.<br>He really didn't do hospitals.

Anxiety took over as he heard the way the name was said. "That's me."

"Would you like to talk somewhere a little more private?"

His breathing picked up just as quickly as his heart stopped.  
>This wasn't happening again. It couldn't be happening again. Not to him. "Where is he?"<p>

An exhausted sigh passed the surgeons lips as he said, "I've got some bad news for you."


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter Fifty-Three**

For every minute there's an hour, for every day there's a night,  
>for every word there's a meaning… and for every action there's a consequence.<p>

"I've got some bad news for you."

Nate's emotions were so high strung that he couldn't manage to read the man. "He's not…"

"No, but we need to talk."

"Alright" Fear had never sat as strongly in his throat as it was now. "Shoot"

"Your brother's in a coma Mr. Elliott."

His laugh was anything but humoress; he was ready to cry. "You're kidding!"

"I wish I was but he hasn't woken from surgery and his rem cycle concurs with that conclusion."

"Surgery?" He had a serious case of dejavu going on. "Why was he in surgery?"

"His difficulty breathing had us doing a chest x-ray which showed no real damage which led us to believe  
>it was stress related. That had blood cultures being drawn as a scan of the digestive system was performed to look for<br>any obstructions that could possibly be to blame. In the mean time we pulled the PICC in fear of sepsis and sent it to the lab for testing."

"And the surgery was for?" Nate reiterated.  
>Right now he was looking for the easy answer not the long winded explanation.<p>

"Shrapnel removal- he had degrading pieces retracted that have also been sent to the lab for testing."

"Testing?" He was still trying to wrap his head around the shrapnel idea.

"Both the liver and the gallbladder show extreme signs of irritation which rules out septic shock since that would've merely shut organs down which thankfully hasn't happened. But now we're looking for the exact cause of that irritant… and that's where the bad news comes in."

Nate was pretty sure that bad news had already come but still he questioned, "What?"

"I firmly believe that wasn't all of it and I'd like to re-visit the entry point but those scans appear to be clean so I can't."  
>He let that settle for a second as he looked over to the sleeping woman. "That is unless you give me permission for exploratory surgery."<p>

"You want me to give you the go ahead to cut him open and see what you find?"  
>What they did was already done but who was he to say if they could continue.<p>

"I want you to let me stop his suffering. I've studied the file and with his constant complaints of stomach trouble  
>and finding foreign matter right there in the digestive system I doubt it would be a coincidence if his leg had an any way related problem."<p>

"And there's no way to wait until he wakes?" Maybe it was selfish but he didn't want to be responsible for something of that magnitude.

"His blood pressure is what sent him toward the coma and if he actually regains  
>consciousness today I'll send him back medically. Right now I don't think his heart could stand being awake."<p>

"When do you need an answer by?" He needed a minute to process and regroup.

"No later than tonight; just tell a nurse to page Jeff Cowell when you've decided."

"Alright than… thank you"

Jeff nodded his acknowledgment and was gone soon after leaving Nate to his thoughts.  
>He didn't know what to make of things… they seemed a mess.<p>

"Nate?" With a deep breath he turned to meet worried eyes. "What's wrong?"

How was he supposed to tell her what he hadn't even been able to absorb? "Eliot's…"  
>A sigh escaped his lips as he sat next to her. "He's…"<p>

"He's what?!" Fear quickly crept up with his hesitance.

"He's in a coma." Nate huffed out.  
>How ironic was that?<p>

"A coma?" She couldn't have heard right. "Like the knocked out not waking up kind of coma?"

"Exactly" He easily saw the shift she made within and he didn't blame her.  
>If she could find a way to protect herself from the hurt this news had brought than by all means he'd let her.<p>

"So what are they doing about it?" She'd swear that these things only happened to Eliot.

"They missed shrapnel that last surgery so he just went through another to remove it from his digestive system.  
>And the surgeon wants me to let him do yet another on his leg just in case." Maybe Sarah could help him figure it out.<p>

"What did you tell him?"

"Nothing, I didn't know what to tell him." Sarah's look was studious and he was patient in finding out what she was thinking.

"I thought comas only happened with head trauma?"

"They occur with brain trauma which could have been from oxygen deprivation, infection, or a bleed caused by his  
>blood pressure which is where the doc's pointing his finger." He was sure Eliot having a perfect three for three helped the odds.<p>

"Does he think the surgery will make an immediate improvement?" If so she'd say go for it.

"They're always sure of themselves until they're not so sure. That's not what I'm worried about."

"Well then?" It was easy to see the gears turning in his mind.

"What would Eliot say? Do I say yes to a surgery he might not want or no to one he possibly needs?"  
>He didn't like the burden of such a serious decision; too many factors were out of his hands here.<p>

"What first attracted you to Eliot?" She was going out on a limb here but she believed his answer would be relevant. "What sealed the deal?"

"His hair" Nate gave a ridiculous answer to mirror how he felt about the question but was soon  
>rethinking it at her glare. (It had to be a family thing) "His determination and control; his absolute strength."<br>Eliot was definitely the strongest man he knew and not an ounce of it had to do with muscle.

"Those qualities are what will get him through this.  
>No matter what they say he's in control and he's determined to bring this mess to an end.<br>Whatever your decision may be he's strong enough to get you both through it." She firmly believed it.

"You don't have an opinion on what I should do?" Was this really the same  
>woman that just four months ago said he had no right making decisions on Eliot's behalf?<p>

"Go with your gut and I'll support you one hundred percent." He better believe it, it was the truth.

"You're a good girl Sarah."

"You're a nice guy Mr. Ford." Her gaze was completely serious. _Was_ being the operative word; as she was soon laughing.

"What?"

"Mr. Ford… it sounds like a horse."

His grumbled "damn southerners" amused her all the more. "Are we allowed to see him?"

"I don't know" Hours of worrying and he hadn't even asked.

"Then let's go find out." She was quick in steering out of the waiting room, past Bethany's replacement,  
>and to one of the main desks where he barely caught up. "We need a room number for Eliot Spencer please."<p>

"Spencer Elliott" Nate corrected, gaining two sets of questioning eyes.  
>"You fill out one paper wrong with insurance and you're doomed for months." That explanation was thankfully accepted by them both<br>(for different reasons of course) and it had him glad he'd chosen the name. It would have been a lot harder explaining a Mike or Paul away.

"He's listed here as critical care." She spoke factually. "You'll have to go to the ICU and speak with the nurse there directly."

"Alright, thank you" Sarah offered as she pulled down an extremely messy ponytail. She was sure she looked a hot mess.

"Elevators are to your right." He stopped Sarah from turning into the first set. Hospital layouts drove him insane; you could get to the exact floor you wanted but if you took the wrong elevator in getting there you'd find yourself in a complete opposite unit.

"I'm nervous" He didn't need Sarah to say it in order for him to see it.  
>She was adamantly staring at that steel, her hands shaking slightly.<p>

"So am I." How couldn't he be?

"How do you think he's"

"Don't" he interrupted her thought a bit harshly but he just didn't want to hear it.  
>"I'm sorry but I just can't…" finishing that sentence was at the bottom of the list of things he couldn't currently do.<p>

"It's alright" She could see worry, fear, sorrow, and the such clearly etched within. "I understand… hell, I feel the same."

That jerk up than down shortly followed by a ding interrupted them and they were  
>soon stepping out of the elevator and going down the corridor where locked doors met them.<p>

"Speak with the beep." Sarah read from a sign above a button she presumed she was supposed to push.  
>"It can't get much more specific than that."<p>

Nate merely shook his head as he pressed the button.

"Yes?" The word startled Sarah a bit seeing as she was expecting a beep but she rapidly recovered, soon saying, "Um… yes.  
>We were wondering about an Eliot…" Quickly she caught herself with the memory of what Nate had said. "A Spencer Elliott."<p>

"One moment please."

They were expecting to hear the door unlock but instead a woman walked out of it a few seconds later.  
>"ICU is restricted access only, your relationship with the patient please?"<p>

"Brother" came from Nate and Sarah didn't dare remark on it as she let out, "Sister".

"Alright and what was it that you wanted to know?" Their answers had clearly satisfied her.

"How he's doing? If he's gonna be alright?" Her brother was in a coma for Christ's sake, what they wanted to know should be obvious.

"I just…"Though he was trying, rubbing his neck eased absolutely no tension. "For now I just want to see him." Needed to actually.

"I'm afraid that isn't possible. Visiting is done for the hour." Though she didn't look very sympathetic.

"The hour isn't done yet, it's only 10:52." If they were going by hours he wanted every minute in it.

"Sir the next hour starts at one o'clock."

"Please miss. Even if it's just for two minutes, even if it's just a peek to ease the worry." Sarah was actually pouting. "Please"

"Five minutes, no cell phone, and only one of you can go in."Those were the rules to be followed.

"Go on Sarah." A two hour wait just might kill him but he couldn't exactly throw himself into a spot that wasn't rightfully his.

"Alright, I'll be back with coffee in a bit." She started back down the hall haven purposely taken his words into the wrong context.

"The phone," The impatience he heard from her had him pulling it out and shutting it off.  
>He was still grasping the fact that Sarah had sacrificed what could have been her time with Eliot.<p>

"Okay" She swiped a key card, having the doors reopen soon after.  
>"Follow me. Now I've got a few things to tell you so you're not in for a shock when you do see him.<br>He's got a feeding tube, a catheter, an IV, a nasal cannula, a heart monitor, and we've also got a ventilator and pump on standby.  
>The machines get quite loud in here and between the wires and tubes it's possible you might not recognize him."<br>The fast pace of her words matched her walk and Nate was trying his best to keep up with both.

"Why would he need a pump?"

She stopped right outside of a sliding glass door that had its curtain drawn with his answer.  
>"We're doing our best to keep it from coming to that but his liver is being pushed to the limit and there's the possibility it could fail."<p>

"Can I go in now?"

She didn't know if he was ignoring the seriousness of that statement or pushing it away until he could better cope  
>but he sure wasn't taking it in or reacting to it at all. "I'll be back in five minutes." She slid the door open before taking her leave.<p>

He was careful to step inside without really looking in and he didn't do so until he had closed the door and shut the curtain once more.  
>The view wasn't unexpected but it was painful none the less; it caused his lip to tremble slightly and he had to bite it firmly to make it stop.<p>

"Hey babe," Most of it he was used to but the feeding tube was sitting uneasily with him. "I heard they opened up shop… took out some spare parts." Eliot looked pale, he looked thin, and he looked absolutely sickly. "I heard that you're having some trouble too." Gently he pulled his hand through Eliot's hair pushing the strays back. "That you…" The thought seemed to be burning him, tears trying desperately to be released so they could extinguish that fire. "Hell… how do you manage to pickle your damn liver when I'm the drunk?" It filled him with guilt that was useless but nonetheless there.

"This is the last time though you hear? This time they're gonna fix it and we're gonna be done with the whole mess. You're going to get better and we're going to that damn beach just like you wanted. Just you and me, ya got it?" He would have liked the hand in his to give some kind of signal that he had been heard but the heart monitor was the only form of answer he received. "We're gonna have ourselves some well deserved fun in the sun." It was mostly a joke but maybe, just maybe they could find some truth in it. "For you and me cause without you…" Too many thoughts filled his mind and he knew there wasn't time for them. He had spent every bit of it.

Leaning down slightly he lightly kissed Eliot's forehead, "You just keep in mind that without you there won't be a me."

Without any coaxing he left the room and with another few steps the ward.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Parker questioned as she snuck up behind Hardison.  
>She had just come from the warehouse, finding everything a bit dusty but to her satisfaction nonetheless.<p>

"Yeah…" Hardison breathed, he wasn't at all fazed by her sudden appearance. "and so did somebody else."

There was a serious set about him and it had her asking, "What do you mean?"

He didn't bother in turning from his laptop to say, "Somebody's been digging in our dirt and they left their footprints all over the carpet."

"What's the plan?" Bad phrasing or not she understood his meaning.

"We call it in." First things first the others needed to know. "Then we kick the ass that decided to get all cozy on our couch."

In other words Nate would give them a game plan and like good little soldiers they'd follow through with their orders.

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Sarah hadn't been waiting for him when he stepped out of the ICU nor had she been in the cafeteria.  
>She wasn't in any of the waiting rooms he had checked and she wasn't answering her phone.<p>

Where she was was a place he hadn't even thought of checking until near twenty minutes later.  
>She was crying in the chapel. "Sarah?"<p>

He wasn't trying to interrupt her but he didn't want to stay unannounced in what could possibly become a private moment either. "Sarah?"  
>She lifted her head just enough for him to see the tears falling, those same ones soon had him sitting by her side. "Don't cry." Her eyes were so wide with hurt and vulnerability that there wasn't much hesitation before he was pulling her into a hug. "I just seen him and he's looking good." After what he had pulled in the church he doubted a white lie in the chapel would really go against him. "He'll be walking out of here in no time."<p>

A sniffled, "Am I really supposed to believe that" made him smirk slightly.  
>She certainly wasn't naïve.<p>

"Of course. I'm going to go get that surgery scheduled and you'll see. You said it yourself… he's strong."  
>With a slight squeeze he pulled away. "He'll be fine." Somewhere along the way he had decided that surgery was something that<br>had to happen and though he was uneasy with the idea the sooner it was performed the better he'd feel. The better Eliot would too hopefully.

He was about twenty feet from his destination when a ringing stopped him.  
>He was more than half tempted to ignore it but he wouldn't take the chance of missing something important.<br>Without hesitation the phone was placed to his ear, "Hello?"

_"Nate man we got problems."_

That was the last thing he wanted to hear. "I'm in the middle of my own right now Hardison."

_"Well put them to the side 'cause these are more important."_

"Somehow I-" He was about to deny that until he heard the beginnings of what Hardison was saying.  
>The news had him silent until Hardison was asking, "So what do you want me to do?"<p>

He was so tempted to tell him to figure it out himself but with Hardison's track  
>record in mind those words never left his tongue. "Nothing… right now there's nothing you can do."<p>

_"You want me to just ignore a wolf at the backdoor?"_

"No" With a sigh he did his best to decide what it was he wanted. "I want you to get rid of the backdoor."

"_Nate I don't-"_

Hardison might be confused but standing here in the middle  
>of this hospital only reminded him of how clear things should really be. "Burn Boston"<p>

* * *

><p><strong>EN: I know right!  
>So I was thinking about when Eliot said (or more correctly, thought) that the only thing missing was his evil twin for his life to be considered a bad soap opera and I just had to call him out on that lie and bring in the coma! Someone is always in a coma and it just has to be followed up by a dun dun dun! (It's like an unspoken soap rule) Anyway, I'm quite actually lying. That was not my motivation at all for this chapter and I just now noticed the bad cliché as I was typing the end. I promise this is certainly not going in that direction and there will be no long lost brothers or any unexpected love children along the way. (Plenty of mushy moments on standby though) And we won't even bring anyone back from the grave! (That would ruin Neliot because though they love each other I'm sure Nate would take Sam and Eliot Maritza and their baby over the other any day) Well thanks for reading!<br>**


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Can you guys believe it's been TWO YEARS since we've started this journey!  
>I swear I was more excited about Neliot's anniversary than my birthday. I've grown to love this thing more than I'd have ever imagined. Thank you all for your loyalty, support, and dedication it's been the best present EVER! Now let's celebrate with another chapter<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Four<strong>

His pace was affordably light as he made his way down the hall and toward a room he had the honor of calling his own.  
>It was old, stale, and nowhere near matched the one he had made for himself at home but it was something he had earned.<br>An office. And there sitting in it was no other than Nathan Elliott.

"Nate?" He closed the door behind himself with only the slightest bit of hesitation. "I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow."  
>The look he got as he sat had him asking, "Is there something wrong?"<p>

"I took Spencer to a Lyme literate on Saturday." Nate spoke with an eerie calm that could easily be proven false.

"And what did he have to say?" Sean asked as he also wondered why they wouldn't have told him they were going to see a specialist.

"She wanted to know why he hadn't had any testing done on his digestive system." He had been sitting with his thoughts, just looking for reason, instead he found blame. This was Torlyn's fault, he had betrayed them. Or at least that's what he had managed to convince himself.

"The radiation those tests would have exposed him to wouldn't have been worth what little benefit we may have received. Not with how many he's already been through." The pure accusation Nate was seeping had him cautious of the questions that had yet to come.

"Little benefit? He's been living off of supplements from a tube!" Any benefit would have been considered great at this point.

"I understand where your frustration is coming from but treating Lyme is a long process.  
>We've yet to find that proper balance in his meds but once we do I can guarantee there will be a drastic improvement."<p>

"You guarantee it!" Now that pissed him off; there were no guarantees!  
>"You've got the nerve to guarantee it when you can't even guarantee it's Lyme!"<p>

"There's no dou-"

"Don't tell me you don't doubt it's Lyme when even the damn specialist doubts it!"

The pure heated anger Torlyn was witnessing had him trying to defuse a situation he had inadvertently walked into.

"Mr. Elliott if you'd just calm down we cou-"

"Don't tell me what to do! If you wanted me calm you should have done your job instead of stuffing a label on him and calling  
>it a day like every other over paid idiot in this place!" A chair went flying backward with rage that only seemed to be building.<p>

"Nate ju-"

"Don't you Nate me! At the very beginning I was telling you something's wrong Torlyn. Hey Torlyn something's wrong, and you wouldn't listen! You just waited and waited insisting I was wrong until it came to this!" Torlyn looked to be searching for words but he wasn't going to be given the time to find them. "They pulled shrapnel out of his gut after they found it using those tests you claim to be unbeneficial! They're over there looking for more right now!"

"Give me a moment to get updated on his case and I promise we'll figure this out." He should have guessed Spencer had taken a turn.

"No," Nate shook his head in a bit of disappointment as he moved to the door. Here he'd faced the man with his mistakes and it didn't seem like he could care. "I told you from the beginning that something was wrong but no…" A long look at Sean had him believing that things might be sinking in as he opened the door but he himself could no longer care. "So now he is in a coma."

The depressingly whispered way in which Nate said that had him thinking only one thing as the door was pulled closed.  
>He had to get his hands on that file.<p>

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"How long did you think you'd keep this visit a secret?"

"Not as long as I did." Sophie's presence didn't at all surprise him.  
>Honestly he had been expecting her for quite some time.<p>

"So Parker tells me we're running." Surely eloquence wasn't expected with such a subject.

"Retreating, there's a difference." Of course he was annoyed.  
>He didn't see why they couldn't simply understand.<p>

"Alright then," They both knew there wasn't but she'd play along. "Why are we retreating?"

"Really Sophie!" Frustration quickly had him moving away from her.  
>"Does it look like I have the time to be chasing after the unknown right now?"<p>

"It looks to me like you should be making the time."  
>If someone was truly after them the way Hardison was suggesting they couldn't simply ignore it.<br>"That is if our safety is of any importance to you."

"Don't you start pulling that with me." Being in the middle of this waiting room had him emotional enough, he didn't need them questioned.  
>"As experienced as you are you can't expect me to believe some nameless, faceless creep has got your feathers ruffled. For all we know it could simply be Sterling rattling the cage to see if he can rile the lioness."<p>

"Take a look at those words Nate! For all we know!" Did he not hear the danger in them?  
>"We don't know a thing at the moment and you aren't lifting a finger to figure any of it out!"<p>

"I do know something and mistakenly I thought you did too." There wasn't much fight left in him and he certainly wasn't about to use it for this. "I know when to trust my team, that I can trust them. I know that they don't need me holding their hands to pull the pieces together and that when they've got them they won't hesitate in bringing the puzzle to me. I know that we'll figure it out and when we do we'll take the fight to them just like we always have."

"The illusion you create." Blame her if you like but she couldn't put complete belief in his words.

"Is only shadowed by the deception you paint." The words were meant to bite back just as bitterly.  
>Always the one to play on vulnerability but it didn't seem as if she had learned any.<p>

"What happened to the man whose obligations were so strong he'd have been on a plane before he'd  
>even finished the phone call?" She needed to get his priorities back on track because right now Boston was a big one.<p>

"His only obligation is right here in this hospital and that's where he's going to stay!" He didn't care if the sky started falling; this was where he'd stay.

"And Eliot's alright with this? As good and noble as these actions are I can't really say that he seems like the kind that would appreciate them." She knew he hadn't told him. If he had Eliot himself would be attempting a trip to Boston.

"Trust me, that man appreciates more than you and I ever will." This he knew for certain.  
>A simple outlook on Eliot had given him a new one on life.<p>

"How about honesty because you certainly haven't shared this?"

"Oh yes I have."

Her brow lifted slightly at that tone. "And what did he say?"

"Thing is Soph," He didn't see how she'd managed to find her way to him without finding out anything of Eliot's condition. "Men in comas don't tend to speak and until he starts doing that again nothing short of Hardison and Parkers' subsequent murders is going to get me out of this place."

"Well let's hope it doesn't come to that." Sophie offered coolly as she stood.

"Lets" Nate could care less at the moment that she didn't seem to.  
>The only thing that did matter right now was the twenty minutes that kept him from his next visit with Eliot.<p>

"Good night Nate." It wasn't at all meant to be resentful or standoffish but she was sure he'd heard it in such a way.

Now that Eliot was his center his time centered around Eliot, and when it didn't?  
>He was cranky and intolerable, letting them all know why his life didn't center around Eliot.<p>

She didn't mind it really but she did mind the toll it had taken on them.  
>They just didn't seem to be quite right; he was either pushing her too far or pulling her too close and it was exhausting.<br>They had known each other for what she'd consider a lifetime and at a time like this she'd like to take comfort in that friendship, offer it as a comfort but it didn't seem possible. The last time she had simply offered an ear and that had nearly turned to sinful regret.

Whether she like it or not it looked like they wouldn't be able to share that closeness they once had, not while the lines between friendship and that something more that was clearly between them remained undefined.

A glance toward the ICU gave her all the reminder needed.  
>She wouldn't be so self sacrificing for any other man… and though it had come at a cost Nate was lucky to have him.<p>

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"Shouldn't we be not here?" Parker drew out as she followed Hardison through Eliot's apartment door.

"We're just doing a quick sweep." Hardison assured as he stepped with caution.  
>He wasn't sure why he was doing so but it being Eliot's place was reason enough for him.<p>

"For?" Parker questioned as Hardison lifted a couch cushion; he looked to be searching for misplaced keys.

"Things Parker." She didn't seem to understand so he stopped to explain.  
>"You know how you have certain things at certain places? Well right now we're seeing if Eliot does."<p>

"Oh" Parker exclaimed with clarity that quickly faded. "Like what?"

"I don't…" He stopped with his logic figuring he'd get further using Parkers.  
>"If bunny was somewhere you couldn't get to but I could wouldn't you want me to bring it to you?"<p>

"So we're looking for Eliot's bunny." Why couldn't he have said that to begin with?

"Sure Parker" His look was not at all quizzical as he walked into Eliot's room.  
>It annoyed him that after all the settling they had done they were still burning places at the drop of a hat.<p>

He knew thinking like Eliot would get him nowhere so he decided a random search would have to do.

First he checked under the pillows, then the mattress, then the bed itself finding nothing. Next was the closet which unsurprisingly held  
>nothing more than clothes in it, though there was a folder he took from the shelf just in case. The dresser was more time consuming<br>as he dumped every drawer, searching for false bottoms and anything that might be taped underneath. Some of the things he found were  
>definitely questionable, including a few pairs of "socks" but nothing worth taking with.<p>

"Did you find anything?" Parker asked as she entered the room, twirling the sword that had been given to Eliot for Christmas.

"Not yet, and you?" Hardison wondered as he sat on the side of the bed pulling open the night stands' drawer.

"Nope, the living room and kitchen were clear and there's absolutely nothing in the bathroom." She found that to be strange… but weren't they all.

"Why wouldn't he have opened this?" Hardison asked as he lifted a gift box that was still complete with bow.

"Maybe he didn't like who it was from." Parker shrugged, it was as good a guess as any.

"Then why keep it?" Maybe he was just childish with such matters but having an unopened present there would have tortured him.

"Maybe he wanted to keep it a secret?" Parker continued to theorize as she pulled it away from him. He was looking ready to unwrap it.

"There's something wrong with him." Hardison summed as he took a last glance around before moving to the living room.  
>"Did you check in here?" The little spot was pretty empty but still it deserved to be searched.<p>

"Yeah… it's where I got the sword." She was once again playing ninja.

"Parker we can't take that." She looked disappointed but it was true.  
>That certainly wouldn't pass airport security and they didn't have the time to make it. "Grab the picture and let's go."<p>

Burning his own place wasn't as hard to do as everyone else's. Though both Nate and Sophie had told him to skip the risk of hanging around, that nothing they had over there was of importance, he still found himself looking. Especially at Nate's where he had as expected found some items of the man's son.

"What picture?" Parker stopped him from moving to the door with that question.

"The only one in the whole damn place Parker!" No way she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Why would he want that?" Parker asked as she picked up the picture with hesitance.  
>It portrayed one man that had brought nothing but trouble and another who expressed pure blame and hate.<br>Who'd want to remember that?

"I don't know but there's gotta be a reason he's got it so grab it and lets go."  
>With that he was in front of the door, pulling it open with a renewed urgency. He certainly wasn't expecting the woman on the other side.<p>

"Do you live here?" She was seemingly polite in asking.

"Who wants to know?" Parker blurted accusingly.

"Jessica Dylan" The question in their eyes didn't clear so she continued, "My mother lived down the hall. She talked about you all the time and I just wanted to thank you for the kindness and help you provided her with. It was much appreciated."

"Your mother…" Hardison tried his best to sound forgetful instead of questioning.

"Maribeth Stillmoore? Every time I called she was mentioning what her Eliot had just done for her." She was starting to think she had the wrong man.

"You know I've been out of town a few months…" Hardison offered as he played into it. "Did something happen to her?"

"Unfortunately she passed in June; I'm just getting around to cleaning out the place." A task that was still hard for her to face.

"Naw… no way," Hardison breathed as he found himself a bit stunned. "Man I'm sorry."

"We all are," Jessica agreed. "I just wanted to thank you for being a friend to an old woman that didn't have many."

"It was a pleasure." Hardison truly felt he was speaking on Eliot's behalf.

"You take care of yourself Eliot." Jessica offered simply.

"And you do the same!" He called as they headed down opposite sides of the hall.

"Eliot's going to be sad." Parker stated somberly; she was a bit unnerved herself.  
>That spunky old lady might have grown on her too, if just a bit.<p>

"The man can't catch a break." Hardison shook his head as they started down the stairs.  
>If anyone deserved a little luck right now it was him.<p>

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Aaron?" Ashlee came through the door expecting him as always to be waiting for her in the living room.  
>To her surprise he wasn't, "Aaron?" She set her purse on the couch as she went further into their place. "Baby you here!"<p>

The place was completely dark, something that was very uncommon, and it had her flipping on the hall light as she moved toward the kitchen.  
>His pickup was out front but he could very likely be bullshitting with some of his buddies down the road. "Aaron?" She was praying to God that's who was sitting at her kitchen table. "What are you doing sitting in the dark?" She flicked the switch to remedy that which actually seemed to make him flinch. "Aaron?" She sat across from him but couldn't see much from the way he had his head hung. "What's wrong?"<p>

He looked up with eyes that seemed to be burning red. "Sarah called."

She'd swear she heard water in those words and it had her thinking of the little ones. "Are the kids okay?"

"They're fine." Aaron spoke a little hoarsely before stopping to clear his throat. "It's Eliot she called to let me know about."  
>A hand was rubbed across his face; possibly to clear the emotion but more likely to grasp some clarity. "He's… he's…"<p>

"Oh Lord he's not…" she couldn't speak the words herself.

"He's in a coma." It came out harshly broken and with it a tear.

"Oh baby," Quickly she was up and soon after her arms were tightly around him. "I'm so sorry."

"Ash," He pulled her close until she was firmly tucked into his side. "What if he doesn't wake up?"

"He will… and you know why?" He shook his head and she placed a kiss atop of it before answering, "Because you're going to go over there and tell him to."

"Simple as that?" Aaron questioned as he pulled her to sit on his leg.

Wiping at the moisture he'd never admit was in his eyes she reassured, "Isn't it always."

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The last visit of the night had been about an hour ago and it hadn't brought good news with it.  
>If anything Nate was sure he had been nicely told Eliot was getting worse. That was partly why he was currently in the chapel he had just yesterday convinced Sarah to finally leave. He needed to be close but he couldn't stand the thought of spending the night in another waiting room.<p>

"We both know I've got no right to ask for anything from you so I won't but…" desperation more than anything else was fueling his words. The news Hardison had presented him with not long ago being another source. "There's got to be other ears listening." His mind drifted to Eliot's stories of a crazy Russian, beloved grandparents, a cherished lover, and most recently a kooky neighbor and friend. "You guys know Eliot, you've loved him." Times like these were supposed to shake your faith but they seemed to be the ones that got him to even partially believe. "I know my words don't mean much anymore but it'd be greatly appreciated if you could put in a few for him."

"Surely you know God judges no man." The voice snuck up on him just as swiftly as the man it belonged to.

"Of course not." Nate turned to see no other than a Pastor of all people. "He's saving that for judgment day."

"Believe it or not whether you be right or wrong he's there to listen."

Nate sensed a lecture coming on and he fully intended to dodge it. As close of religions as Catholic and Lutheran were they were still immensely different and he wasn't in the mood to debate beliefs that were usually shaky at best. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Is there a reason you feel your words won't be heard?" The pastor sat next to him, actually offering an ear, and what the hell… he couldn't see why not.

"Maybe it's because I already know what he has in store for me." He was headed to hell and he knew it, he'd accepted it.

"Of course you don't! The Lord's full of surprises." Nate rolled his eyes  
>at such a "handbook" line; it was only right he got hounded by a by the book Pastor.<p>

The silence that followed after that was weird but it was better than forced conversation that would surely be awkward.  
>A few moments later though and Nate found himself breaking it with a question.<br>He already had his answer but he wanted to know what the Pastor's would be. "Do you believe all prayers are answered?"

"Of course I do," A hand was clamped onto his shoulder as emerald eyes pierced down to what felt like his very soul. "The thing to remember though son is…" With the next words he no longer felt hounded but a little lost, perhaps a bit cheated. "Sometimes the answer is no."

* * *

><p><strong>EN: Loud and clear meme23, how's that for an update?  
>Two years you guys! Let me know what you think <strong>


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken this long you guys but I lost my computer and all the work on it :(  
>My notes and layouts for this story (and plenty of others) are completely gone and for a while I was so bummed out that I was just done with fanfic but turns out I couldn't actually bring myself to do that; the urge to write and create was just too strong. So the next decision was whether I should toss out my old stories or if I should try attempting to rewrite what I'd already had. It's safe to say I'm no good at rewrites so I didn't even bother with attempting that, but I know I've promised you all that I'd never give up on a story and after dedicating over two years of my free time to this one I think if I did it would be more like giving up on myself than anything. So instead I'm gonna get over losing hours (and hours and hours and hours) of work and I'm going to continue on with Neliot because I love them to death just like I do each and every one of you. (Plus, it would really be awful to permanently leave Eliot in that kind of bind.) <strong>

**Chapter fifty-Five**

"Good morning Mr. Elliott!" A cheery brunet greeted as she walked through those sliding glass doors; arms full. "How are you today?" Her questions weren't searching, never searching, instead offering. Whether it be something for the patient to grasp, to pull themselves back with, or something for the family to hold onto she found they helped the day progress.

"Did you fare well last night?" Readjusting the thin sheet that was covering his torso; she began preparing to replace surgical bandaging. "I think we'll start with your abdomen," Though it hardly mattered at the moment she was sure to leave him a certain level of modesty out of pure respect. "Make sure it's not looking too bad." She did just that as she began humming a little tune to give them both some entertainment.

"So are you expecting any visitors today?" Usually the patient's family was all but breaking down the door as they waited for that next scheduled visit. "I bet a guy like you has a line up for the lineup." She smirked slightly as she carefully removed the binding on his thigh. "Rumor has it you're a regular around here… with a tongue that talks miles around the nurses." When she had heard that she knew she'd have to meet him personally, so far he looked every bit the part. "You've got Casey roped in from a mile." She laughed as she remembered her friend questioning if he had a girlfriend.

"Well…" A glance about as she tucked the sheet back around him told her the room was passable. "I think that's about it for now." As she moved to dispose of her gloves she added, "Rachael and Joe will be in later this evening to get you cleaned up and to make sure the bedding's changed." She also made a mental note to mark in his chart that he had yet to "eat". "I'll be back tonight." Though she doubted he knew it she had been his overnight nurse since he arrived. "And you sir…" with a last joke she was leaving the room. "better not keep me waiting."

She didn't witness the dance his eyelids started doing or the spike in his heart rate.

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His head was in his hands and he was trying his best to find the will to start the day.

In forty minutes visiting started and if he hurried he could be ready and arriving without missing  
>much of it. The thing was he didn't really know if he wanted to sit by El's bed side for an hour before<br>moving to the waiting room to watch another hour go by just to repeat those actions again.

Every time he left the room it was with a hope something would change and every time he returned to find it hadn't a little more pain and disappointment appeared. "What do you think Steve?" Technically she was sitting at his feet but he'd say it was more like glaring from them. "Should I go see how he's doing?" He knew the only reason he still had her complete attention was because she had yet to eat.

With that thought in mind he moved from his seat at the table to the lower left cabinets. "Don't worry…" Carefully he measured a bowls worth for the animal before lifting the other to get water. "I wouldn't dare leave without feeding you first." He could hear the rant already, 'Just because you don't like her don't mean you get to starve her'. Eliot really seemed to like the fuzz bucket and for that reason alone he'd be civilized toward her. His association with Eliot seemed to be the only reason she tolerated him.

"Well?" He had returned the water bowl but she had yet to move. "Are you not gonna eat?" All he got was a hard stare and a soft meow, he was clearly someone's second best. "I know," Third if you counted Parker. "I miss him too." Mind made up he leaned over to scratch behind her ear. It was a shock she didn't run. "Trust me girl, I miss him too."

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"Do you think he told him?" Hardison questioned as he turned from the plane's window.

"Told who what?" Parker's attention was on the movie playing, or at least on the passengers watching the movie playing.

"Told Eliot about Mrs. Stillmoore." They were in the middle of a ten hour  
>flight having decided to use the week they'd been given despite the situation.<p>

"Probably" The past week had pushed the death from her mind but now that they were returning she could see how it had come to Hardisons'.

"How do you think he took it?" He certainly hoped he hadn't been pushed further into his pool of depression.

"I don't know," All she could do was imagine. "But we'll find out soon enough."

"You think he's doing better than when we left?" The last time he had seen him he'd been standing and though he seemed pretty tired he hadn't been looking nearly as green.

"It's Eliot… by now I bet he pulled out his PICC and has declared himself fine." She figured as much because the last thing she had heard from Eliot was an annoyed, 'I'm fine' as he itched around the thing near his forearm.

"I asked Nate if I could talk to him yesterday; he hung up on me." That was the main source for most of his worry.

"Maybe he didn't want their day interrupted." She didn't blame him.  
>Even though it hadn't been much they had all needed this break from each other.<p>

"Or maybe they're fighting again." His feelings were mixed on that and they had him shifting in his seat.

A sigh escaped Parker's lips as she gave the idea extra thought. "I doubt it."  
>The only doubt she really had was in her own words.<br>Frustratingly enough when it came to those two it was more than plausible.

He didn't have much of his own so he'd borrow some of her optimism. "Yeah you're probably right."

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"You're a damn liar, you know that?" Aaron spoke the first words that came to mind as his gaze fell to Eliot. He could barely find what was supposed to be his brother past everything he was connected to. "You said you weren't going anywhere."

Uneasily he took the seat next to the bed. "Hell you promised!" He was hesitant in taking his brother's hand into his own. It felt like pure skin covered bone and he was honestly scared he might break it. "Do you have any idea how hard the last couple of days have been?" He hadn't had a choice; he'd had to keep on going with his day to day despite the fact that he wanted beyond anything else to make the trip to his brother's side. "I nearly lost a damn finger!"`

The unresponsiveness was disturbing; exactly seven days ago they'd been having a complete conversation.  
>"I can't lose things like that! Not when I need them." Anger had him tightening the grip on his brother's hand as he tried his best to get his thoughts and feelings under control. Soon he was covering it with the other, wanting to believe the warmth he was creating would do some kind of good. "I've…" He shook his head as he changed that thought. "We've been through too much for you to just up and go. Not now that we've actually gotten our asses on track." He huffed half a laugh at that. "I mean you actually found someone stupid enough to stick with yours and I found one dumb enough to marry mine."<p>

They were both intelligent by most people's standards but Aaron would say they lost the rights to that claim when  
>they mixed their lives with that of a Spencer. He would have run far and fast had it been him and he certainly wouldn't have looked back. "There's just too much going on right now for you not to be part of it." Even if it was a long distance Eliot it was preferred to a non-existent one. "Plus," A somber smile crossed his features as he pushed back a bit of Eliot's unruly hair. "I'm your lil' brother and that's a thorn that ain't leavin' your side for the next forty years at least, and I'll swear to it."<p>

He'd sworn to a lot of things over the past few days but he highly doubted it had helped, nor had the prayers or tears. His brother was still unresponsive, still seemed to be waging a war everyone was beginning to doubt he could win, and still looked to be getting worse. A word that he'd never have used to describe his brother was now piercing his mind as he looked over the 120-125 pounds the man had shrunk down to.

Fragile.

"You know…" It wasn't something he could think about. "If you don't wake up I'll kick your ass." He clenched his eyes with as much force as he squeezed Eliot's hand. They could burn as much as they liked; he'd already promised himself it wasn't happening.

With a quick sniffle to compose himself he placed a kiss on the back of his sibling's hand with a whispered, "And that's a promise."

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"So what did you find out?" When Hardison had called to inform they'd be returning he'd offered them a ride from the airport. It was obvious where he'd rather be but Aaron had claimed the days visiting hours for himself so he figured this as good a way as any to make use of some time. In the very least it was preferable to moping.

"I've written a few programs that are looking but so far their tracks have been covered.  
>They wanted us to know they were there alright but that's about it." It was suspicious to him.<p>

"Some kind of warning maybe?" Parker suggested from her seat on the passengers side.

"Warning for what?" They hadn't been stirring nobody's kool-aid.

"No it wasn't a warning." Nate dismissed that idea with a simple shake of his head. "They want us looking."

"For?" It was echoed in confusion more than anything else.

"That's what we're going to find out." Keeping his attention on the highway was easy; it was stopping himself from driving to Timbuctoo that was hard. Right now it seemed like a great escape.

"I'm not nobodys tool." Doing something that somebody obviously wanted him to do spelled TRAP.

"Well for the moment you'll have to be and make sure to be careful. They'll be searching for your searches and I'd prefer to find them without being found." The last thing he needed was trouble following them back to Oklahoma.

"What's Eliot say about this?" She was wondering why he hadn't come with.

"He hasn't said much about anything." It was shocking to find Sophie hadn't told them.

"Ya'll didn't start again did ya?" He couldn't help but ask what he already suspected.

"No we didn't start again Hardison." It was annoying how he just always assumed they'd be fighting.

"Well then?" Hardison more accused than questioned.

"He's not doing well right now." Eliot hadn't been in the greatest of shape when they left so he didn't see why they'd be expecting different.

"Is it because of Mrs. Stillmoore?" Once again Parker was sad for him.

"He doesn't know about her yet." And wasn't that gonna be a kicker of news to wake up to.

"You can't just not tell him." Hardison disapproved. "He's got the right to kn-"

"He's back in the hospital Hardison!" Annoyance over took logic and he spilled something he'd been trying to save until they got to the house.

"Why?" He could feel how hard she was staring as she waited for her answer.

"It's a long story Parker."

"I've got time." Sighing deeply he took a second to look at her before looking back out.

Though it was about 90 degrees out there the intensity of her stare had  
>it feeling like at least 200 in their air conditioned confines. "He's in a coma."<p>

"A coma!"

Yep, this ride had just tripled the distance.

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"Anything?"

Sean?" It wasn't all that surprising to have Torlyn bombard his office.

"I brought his latest workups, maybe they'll add something to the others."

"Sean I didn't look at the others." The stunned look he received wasn't unexpected  
>as Torlyn stopped fiddling through the papers and asked, "Why? I gave them to you three days ago!"<p>

"Don't you think it's time to move on? His brother all but threw you off the case."

"He's just looking for answers Jordan and I want to give them to him."  
>It wasn't long before he had the better of three different files pulled apart.<p>

"Do you want them for him or for yourself?" The man was becoming obsessional.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Accusation was clear in those words.

"That you had your chance Sean. You got it wrong and now it's time for someone else to give it a go." This case had snuck under his friend's skin in a way he had witnessed from no other.

"Well until you find that someone else I think I'll go another round."As far as he knew the only physician currently on the Elliott case was putting in minimal effort at best and to him that just wasn't acceptable.

"Sean he's got a doctor, and you're not it!" He raised his voice with the hope that it would somehow make the message clearer.

"Not one that knows his case like I do!" He still studied the files, had most of the information memorized.

"You know what your problem is?" Jordan reached across the desk to take away as much of the records  
>as he could manage. "You're taking it personally man and that isn't healthy. You did what you could but it's time to let it be."<p>

"That man came in here freshly scraped off the ground a broken and battered mess back in April.  
>I can't even begin to tell you how many hours I've invested in him since then but after what's sure close<br>to 4 and a half months you can bet I'm taking the damn thing personally." He snatched some reports back as  
>he tried to defuse a sizzling anger. "So unless you've got ideas that are relevant don't tell me what it's time to do!"<p>

"You tell me what ideas have had relevance in this case." The biggest problem was that it was all over the map.

"Jordan please…" He sighed in frustration as much as annoyance. "Just give me something to start with."

"You're not going to give up on this are you?" He pulled himself a pile of those fresh  
>workups already resigning himself to a night of trying to appease his friend.<p>

"I've just got to see it to the end one way or another." He wouldn't be in peace until he did.

"So you've got an irritated liver and gallbladder and a bunch  
>of negative labs." It sure didn't put any fresh ideas in his head. "I'm loving the progress."<p>

"The labs have got to be false negatives." He'd already been tested for every by the book answer.

"The trouble with that is knowing what to test for." Jordan tossed in. "I mean we obviously can't test him for it all."

"Why not?" Trying to keep Jordan's eyes from falling out he furthered, "Why not start with all of it and deduct it down to a handful we can test for?"

"Do you have any idea how long that could take!"

"Then let's get started. Give me some ideas."

Still staring at Torlyn disbelievingly he deadpanned, "Polio."

"Really? Polio!" Now he knew Jordan had pulled that straight out of his ass.

"You said to start with all of it." Jordan spoke factually from across the desk.

"And Polio made sense to you?" If the man dared say yes he'd be first in line to petition his license be revoked. "Have you lost your mind!"

"This coming from the man that thought it was Lyme disease!" There was no need to add insult to the night.

"Hey, Lyme disease had damn good merit. In fact I'm still not 100% it isn't." He found himself biting at a fingernail out of habit more than anything else.

"He was hit by a car! How did that at all lead you to being poisoned by a tick?" Never had it made sense to him though it did seem to fit.

"Poisoned?"

"Yeah poisoned." He could once again see the gears turning and he wanted to be filled in. "Why? Are you thinking toxins."

"I think I've been thinking too much." Spencer had been hit by a car, simple as that.

"Where are you going?" Clearly he'd given him an idea and he was quite literally taking off with it.

"Come on." Torlyn stopped in his tracks only to coax Jordan to join him.

He didn't hesitate in standing, he knew how that mind worked and he could just see the pieces being flipped about. "Where to?"

That question actually had him thinking good and hard about what he was going to do. He absolutely needed the proof, and if he turned out to be wrong at least he could prove that too. "Just come on."

A near sadistic glint appeared in his eye and it had Jordan worried.  
>He'd never seen such a look come from this reserved guy. "Let's go steal us a patient."<p>

**E/N:Updates might be a little slow but I swear there's more on the way!  
>So who else thinks Torlyn's been around Nate too long?<strong>


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter Fifty-Six**

"I can't believe you didn't tell us." Hardison shook his head as he turned his attention  
>away from his computer and to Nate who had just walked through the kitchen's entryway.<p>

"What's there to tell Hardison?" Nate spoke nonchalantly as he pulled a beer from the fridge.

"Yeah you're right," He started sarcastically. "a COMA is no big deal; not at all!"

"Hardison, there's nothing we can do about it." The quicker they all accepted that the better off they'd be.

"Is anyone gonna do anything about it?" He wouldn't accept that there was nothing he could do; he'd find someone who could.

"They're working on it." Nate sighed as he sat.

"And what does that mean?" Though he couldn't see it he knew that somewhere in Nate's demeanor sat agitation.

"It means that they haven't found the damn answer yet!" He didn't need the disappointment of another negative round of testing being renewed.

"Did they find anything?" He would easily push the annoyed tone to the side, he knew it wasn't meant for him.

"The pieces they pulled from him were too degraded for testing so now they're trying to get a location on the piece of shit that hit him for a fresh sample."

"You think they're gonna find it anywhere outside of the junkyard?" Alec questioned as he watched Nate fiddle with more than drink from his bottle.

It was a bit eerie.

"The accident was months ago." Nate shook his head. "We both know it was already ripped apart for scrap."

"So what are you gonna do?" He couldn't imagine what Nate had to be feeling, his own emotions were a mess.

"Pray that his brain doesn't become irreparably damaged, that his organs don't start  
>failing him, that he makes it through one more round." If only there was more he could do.<p>

"I wonder if he knew the fight of his life would be the fight for it." No doubt this had to be Eliot's most challenging opponent to date.

"Good night Hardison."

Nate leaving with something close to pain in his eyes had him believing that maybe he shouldn't have said that.

With a sigh he pulled the nearly full beer toward himself.  
>There was no use wasting it, or at least that's what he rationalized as he put that bottle to his lips.<p>

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"Are you trying to lose your license?" Jordan whispered harshly.

"For?" Torlyn questioned just as quietly as he shook a vial of blood slightly.

"Impersonating a fellow physician! Forging his signature!"

"Shhh!" Torlyn urged as he clamped a hand over the other mans mouth. "No one will find out if you keep your mouth shut."

Jordan pushed the hand away with an, "And if they do?"

"Than what do I need a license for?" Torlyn shrugged as he continued his walk to the lab. "It's not like they'll let me practice in prison."

"Oh God" Jordan breathed as he reluctantly followed.  
>He hadn't even thought about a possible prison sentence.<p>

"Hurry it up!" Sean called as the other was quickly falling behind. "We've still got an x-ray to do."

"How the hell are we doing that?" ICU wasn't the easiest of places to get things done even when you had access.  
>The blood sample they had gotten had taken a good twenty minutes to retrieve with him all but jumping through hoops to do so.<p>

"I'll think of something." His mind was already racing for an idea. The distraction would have to be pretty big.

It wasn't long before Jordan was pulling the lab door closed behind them with a mumbled, "That's what I'm scared of."

**THE NEXT MORNING**

"Brian come on!" Sarah called up the stairs.

"I can't find my other shoe!" Came a muffled voice from up above.

"So put on a different pair!" She rolled her eyes at this near constant dilemma.

"I looked! I didn't find any!"

"Pete!" She yelled in frustration.

"Yeah?" He answered as he came from the kitchen with two lunchboxes.

"Can you please go help the boy find some dang shoes?" She'd been running around in a frenzy all  
>morning trying to make sure all the school supplies had made it in the book bags and that they were on track.<p>

"Got it" He moved back toward the kitchen but before she could question it he returned with sneakers in hand. "He took them off there last night."

With a nod she yelled, "Brian, get your butt down here now!"

"Rebecca" Pete spoke to grab the girl's attention.

"Yes?" She barely acknowledged him; her attention fully focused on the television.

"Cartoons off, Sandals on." That got her to look at him for a good moment before she glanced back at the TV.

"Now" A raised brow was more than enough to have her off the couch, crouching to fix the velcro's on her flowery sandals.

With a shake of his head he hit the switch on the television as Sarah called, "Brian!"

By the time he made it down the stairs Becca was saddled with a backpack, Sarah readjusting the bows in her hair.

"What do you have to say for yourself young man?" Pete questioned as he passed over the shoes the boy had barely looked for.

"Sorry?" Brian half guessed as he sat on the last step to slide his shoes on.

"You need to start keeping better track of your things." Pete continued.

"Yes sir" Brian quickly tried to amend as he finished tying his shoe.  
>Getting in trouble wasn't the best way to start the day.<p>

"And you need to start better minding your manners. Your mother shouldn't have to call or tell you more than once."  
>With that the boys gaze turned to Sarah who simply nodded. "Sorry Ma"<p>

Knowing his son was feeling more than a bit reprimanded Pete ruffled his hair with a slight smile. "You ready?"

"Yup" Brian assured as he tried to flatten hair that wasn't even standing up.

"Alright then," Sarah spoke as she went over her mental checklist. "We've got lunches packed, book bags stuffed, we've  
>had breakfast, potty breaks," They all glanced at Becca for that one. "The teeth were brushed, the clothes are clean…"<br>Her pause to think gave Pete the time to say, "You did it all… now all we gotta do is get 'em there."  
>The last thing they needed was to be late on their first day.<p>

"Alright let's go." She made it to the porch before it dawned on her, "The camera!"

"Sarah"

"Pete it's her first first day we've got to have at least one picture."

"Alright, I'll get it." He relented.

"No… I've got it. Just get them in the car." He moved to do just that as she ran back into the house and up the stairs.  
>She was halfway back down them with the electronic in hand when the phone began to ring. She had every intention of<br>ignoring it until she reached the door and heard the beginnings of the message being left.

That woman's words had her all but tripping over her feet as she tried to reach the device in time.

"Hello?" She breathed out a sigh when she got an actual response from the other side. "This is she."  
>Any hope of good news drained as she continued to listen carefully. "How bad was it?"<br>A glance at the clock told her she needed to get going but the words she was hearing had her glued to the spot.  
>"Do you know if Nathan was informed?" She wasn't even grasping why they would have called her instead of him.<br>"Alright, thank you…" With some last words she barely cared to hear she offered a, "Bye" before hanging up.

She couldn't believe her ears or perhaps she didn't want to.

"Sarah!" Pete called as he entered the house.

"Sarah?" One look at the way she was staring at the telephone that was loosely held in her grasp had him wary. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head as she placed the phone back on the hook, soon moving toward the door.

"Sar…" He pulled her arm until she was turning to face him. "What was that about?"

"Eliot" she barely offered as she turned back toward the door.

"Sarah!" Sometimes she was just beyond frustrating.

"He had another seizure." She wouldn't dwell on it because there was nothing she could do about it.  
>What she could do was get her kids to school; that's what she would do.<p>

"Sarah" He didn't like how quickly she was pushing this news to the side.

"They're gonna be late Pete." With that she was out the door knowing she couldn't currently handle what he wanted to say.

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"You're still up?" Parker questioned as she pulled some orange juice from the fridge.

It didn't look like he had moved even a fraction from where she'd left him last night.

"Yeah" Hardison answered as he rubbed an eye. "I cracked through a couple encryptions last night and figured why not test my luck and try a few more."

"Did you get anywhere?" Parker asked through a yawn.  
>She hadn't slept much herself having spent the night trying to contact Sophie.<p>

"A webpage about nature preserves in Ireland?" It hadn't made much sense to him.

"Who runs it?" The sight sounded like a dead end but maybe the person behind it would lead them somewhere.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. It doesn't look like anyone's been in a while. The links are outdated, the pictures  
>haven't been renewed, and the most recent commenting goes back a couple years." It was looking to be a waste.<p>

"What about frequent visitors?" Surely it had fallen in the radar for a reason.

"I'm compiling that list for reference now." Hardison let out a yawn himself as he stood with coffee in mind.

"What are we referencing?" Nate questioned the bit he had heard as he came into the kitchen.  
>He was glad to see someone having the decency to start a pot of Joe.<p>

"URL's, IP addresses, hell might as well do routing numbers of those that frequented too." He pointed to the computer screen that Nate soon sat in front of.

"This is all you found?" Slowly he scrolled down the page not really impressed.

"My baby's been at it a week…" Hardison stressed. "Trust me when I tell you I said the same."

"What's this here?" Nate's question had them both looking to the screen.

"It's the sights motto, an old Irish proverb. It means…"

"Is fheárr teine beag a gharas na teine môr a loisgeas: The little fire that warms is better than the big fire that burns."

"I take it that isn't the first time you've heard that." Parker could tell from the perfect pronunciation.

"Does it mean something to you?" He himself had thought it fit in just fine for a group of tree huggers but maybe Nate saw different.

"You guys keep in contact with Sarah for news on Eliot; she's next in line to get it." Nate spoke as he stood.  
>"I've got some things to check out, I'll be back in a few."<p>

"Hours?" Hardison questioned as the man walked out of the room. "Days!?"

Parker simply shrugged as they heard the front door close.  
>It wasn't the first time he'd left them in the dark and she wasn't foolish enough to really start believing that it would be the last.<p>

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"Aaron" Ashlee called as she walked through their bedroom door.  
>"Aaron" She knew he was still sleeping somewhere under that bundle of blankets<br>though she couldn't quite make out top from bottom. "Babe you've got a phone call."

She moved to the top of the bed to pull the comforter down, unsurprisingly finding a pair of big funky feet.  
>"Nghhh" was all she managed to hear through the material she was soon pulling away. She felt bad for waking him seeing as he'd left first<br>thing the previous morning and hadn't returned until well into the night. She herself had been sleeping for a few hours before he'd finally joined her.

"Tell 'm call back." He mumbled as he turned his face into the mattress and away from the assaulting sun.

"It's Sarah," Ashlee explained. "She says it's important." No other words were needed; those quickly chased away any sleepiness leaving him fully awake.

"Did she say what it was about?" It wasn't long before he was sitting up in anticipation. Or was it agitation?

Swiftly she shook her head, "She just said that she needed to talk to you."

Without comment he was leaving the room but she wisely decided to stay behind.  
>Perhaps she'd make the bed.<p>

"Yeah Sarah" He didn't bother with a greeting as he quickly spoke into the corded telephone he'd lifted from the kitchen table.

"Hey Aaron" Just those words were enough for him to identify fear, sadness, and dare he say dread.

"What happened?"

"He seized."

No thought was needed as he assured, "I'm on my way."

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Anger, Fear, Exhaustion…  
>Those were the usual companions.<p>

Silence, Grief, Heartache…  
>Normally they weren't far behind.<p>

This time though none were present.

As he entered Eliot's room it was with a newly found and not too unwelcome acceptance.

"Hey Babe," The sight was all but the same, much like the chair he staked claim in. "I've been…"  
>It was funny how he'd forgotten what he'd intended to say. Instead his mind supplied, 'I've been missing me some you.'<p>

He shook his head at the thought as he slid his hand over Eliot's clearing his throat as he did so.  
>"But… yeah, I just wanted to let you know I'm going away for a few days." He was absently running his fingers over Eliot's hand and forearm.<br>"I've got to deal with something that's been long coming." In a sense he was grateful it couldn't be questioned, he sure hadn't any answers.

"You just…" Hang in there? Be strong? Keep fighting? Hold your head up? Come back to me?

What could he possibly say to him that he hadn't already?

"You just…" There was another but it brought a whole other side of things with.  
>It suggested something no one wanted to consider. "You do what you got to do."<p>

It'd be a lot easier to tell him to keep fighting -heck he almost had- but with what right?

Perhaps Eliot no longer wanted to and was that not a right of his own?

For the first time he was realizing that he always asked of and told Eliot what he thought should be done.  
>He hadn't let him make his own choice without comment or argument for some time now and it seemed quite selfish.<p>

Whether he like it or not maybe it was time to do something he never fully had.  
>"Whatever it is," It was more of a promise to himself than anyone else. "no matter what…"<br>Sarah had said it herself. Eliot was in control. What they wanted didn't matter in the least because  
>at the end of the day Eliot would have last say. "I'll support you all the way."<p>

He needed to be on his way but he felt like something was missing, perhaps he had overlooked it. "I'm done asking so it's up to you now, just…"  
>Eliot had never done him terribly wrong before and he was hoping that wouldn't soon change. "Do me one small favor."<p>

With a chaste kiss he stood with a few words and left with a slight prayer.  
>There was no reason to bother in looking back. "Keep me in mind."<p>

**E/N: Two Easter's strong? Anyone?  
>I know… but RL sucks :(<br>Leave lots of love cuz I swear there'll be more! :)  
>(And let me know whatcha think)<strong>


	57. Chapter 57

**I'm back :)  
>To Sandy-wmd your welcome and thanks for continuing to read<br>**

**To , it might take an eternity but I'm definitely going to finish it… as for re-reading I've done so at least 40 times just trying to keep track and I still love it… But as for killing off Eliot, you'll just have to read and find out ;p**

**Y para la anonimo persona, me encanta que tu estas gustando a mi historia. Gracias por leer y por favor continuara haciendolo (Perdon si mi espanol no es tan Buena pero es mi Segundo idioma) Read, Review, and most importantly ENJOY!**

**Chapter Fifty-Seven**

"That's it. You've officially lost your mind!" It was safe to say that nearly  
>forty hours of chasing Torlyn about the hospital had made him more than a little irritable.<p>

"And how's that?" Jordan was barely acknowledged as he carefully studied his x-ray.

"You faked the guy having a seizure just so you could obtain that Sean! Hell, they actually notified his family!"  
>The man didn't seem even a bit fazed. "Please tell me that you can see you crossed the line?"<p>

"Perhaps my actions may have been a bit questionable." Torlyn shrugged off the comment. His motives certainly weren't.

"Were they worth it?" Jordan found himself asking despite his previous reprimanding.  
>There was just something in the way that Sean was staring at that image that nearly excused everything else.<p>

"Do you see that density?" It was so minute that he wasn't completely sure if he was actually seeing it or just wanting to.

Maybe it was because he was more secure of himself but he didn't need  
>to mimic Sean's squinting to catch sight of what was being pointed out. "Is that?"<p>

"Where are his lab results?" That catch in Jordan's eye let him know they were on the same track.

"I thought you had 'em." Surely he wasn't expected to have gotten them.

"No, I went to cover Michael's break… you went to get the results." There'd been no assuming, that's what they had agreed on.

"Of course I did." Jordan assured as he flimsily excused himself from the room.  
>Torlyn was hot on his heels with a string of insults.<p>

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"Sophie wasn't home."

The fact that he had just moments ago been alone didn't faze him.  
>This was something he was finally coming to expect from Parker. "And?"<p>

"And I want you to look her up so I can go talk to her."

Oh how tempted he was to make a quip about the yellow pages, but it was just too easy.  
>Instead he asked, "Why?"<p>

"Because" She didn't feel like she needed to explain herself to him but the question in his eyes was just too persistent.  
>After a while it had her squirming with an, "I just need to alright."<p>

Suddenly he could see an overwhelming anxiety clouding her features and it  
>brought a soft hurt to his own. "Parker, you know you can talk to me right?"<p>

"Ye- I- I'm jus" She sat in frustration.  
>Seconds ago she had had all these words she'd been dying to share and now she couldn't even complete one.<p>

"Having a hard time?" He ignored the glare she sent him for even suggesting such a thing.  
>"I know I am. One day everything's good and then the next day is like 'Holy hell! Where have I been!'<br>Sophie's been betrayed, Nate's heartbroken, Eliot's missing, and you're just left standing there like WTF?"

"No" Parker disagreed. "They fixed all that."

"Did they?" Hardison interrupted. "Next thing you know Eliot's back and everything's good again but…  
>Nope wait a minute there he goes again, he ends up run over and we end up here."<p>

"Then Sophie leaves." Parker added, having apparently changed her mind.

"And the other two are back to their on and off sometimes nonexistent gas and matches deal."  
>He had finally decided he'd stay out of it other than being a side support, that dance was too complicated, hell too crazy for his simple mind to follow.<p>

"Then Eliot had that huge freak out." She wasn't so certain it hadn't taken a part in his failing health.

"Yeah," Hardison remembered.  
>It seemed like the whole world's attitude had changed after that.<br>"And then Sophie came back and it wasn't long before her and Nate were stirring up more trouble."

"Do you think that's what happened this time?" The thought hadn't even crossed her mind until now.

"What?" He'd fallen so far into his rant that he hadn't caught the question.

"Do you think that something happened between Nate and Sophie while we were gone?"

Immediately his mind went back to the waiting room he'd been lurking outside of. "Hell I hope not!"  
>Parker clearly hadn't caught his meaning which he was currently thankful for.<br>It wasn't like he wanted to think such things about them but their combined history sure wasn't the greatest.  
>"She's probably just trying to find her own way to deal with all this Parker."<p>

For a moment she simply sat there absorbing his words; and he let her too busy being worried by his own thoughts.

"I think…" And it was clear that she had indeed been giving it some thought. "That it's Nate that needs to deal."  
>She was so precise in her words that he didn't dare interrupt them. "He's always after a plan but hurting and healing is a process."<br>That she knew from experience. Just like she knew his sometimes acceptance wasn't even partially genuine.  
>He switched thoughts and emotions so much that he couldn't possibly have time to sort through them.<br>Everyone but him was seeing the entangled contradiction he'd all but become. "He's crossing wires like a faulty bomb and…"

The only thought he had was 'God forbid' as he finished a sentence she couldn't. "If something bad happens he's gonna explode."

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"You see that man over there." Nate nodded in the general direction he was speaking of as he took a seat on one  
>of the bar stools. "Send him a club soda on me." The look the bartender gave him was a mix of confused and assessing but he moved to do<br>so nonetheless. He didn't have to wait long before the drink was being questioned and the bartender was selling him out like jello shots on spring break.

"You're a hard man to find." Was spoken as the seat beside him got claimed.

Nate shook his head with a sly, "That depends on who's looking?"

"Are you insulting my skills now?" That fake hint of malice was as familiar as the man's voice.

"Nope, I got your message." He wouldn't quite say things were at ease but there was a calm in knowing a potential threat had vanished.

"I thought you'd like that. You always were a momma's boy."

He couldn't deny that the line had made him think of his mother; she had used it often enough. "What did you want?"

"When a man's son goes missing is he not supposed to go out and look for him? I wanted to make sure you were still among the living."

"You went through all that hassle just to make sure I was still walking this earth?"

There was a slight nod but he wasn't sure if it was meant for him or the bartender who was soon sliding a glass in their general direction.

"You know you could have just asked around."

"Is minic a bhris béal duine a shrón."

With a slight laugh Nate translated, "Many a time a man's mouth broke his nose."

"It's good to know you remembered something I taught ya."

Nate rolled his eyes at that.  
>The phrase had pretty much been his father's motto.<br>In other words he learned quickly that snitching was frowned upon.

"So where do you have that rag tag team of yours held up at?"

"Down south" Nate offered as he watched his father toss back his drink.

"You want one?" Jimmy didn't wait for a response before he was placing an order for two more.

"I don't drink." The anymore wasn't added because it wasn't needed.  
>Maybe he had yesterday, maybe he would tomorrow, but for today, for right now he just didn't.<p>

Shrugging off the statement simply Jimmy continued, "Whatcha doin' down south?"

"Laying low" The wonder in his father's eyes had him adding, "Eliot got hurt."

"That's the nerd right?" He wasn't trying to be rude but their description was about as close as he'd get to names.

"No that would be Hardison, Eliot's the other one." He couldn't ever imagine getting those two confused.

"Your muscle?" That didn't sound good. "How bad was it?"

He found himself fiddling with the peanut dish as he spoke. "He's in a coma."

Words were hard to find after a revelation like that. "So what now? Are you looking for a replacement or…?"

Nate shook his head fiercely which was answer enough.

"So you're just not gonna work?" That was something he'd never heard of.

"We've done a few side jobs."

"Well tell me you plan on doing more than holding the man's hand 'til he gets all better?"  
>He was met with an all too familiar expression, a gaze that couldn't be mistaken. "Aw hell!"<br>He took a huge swig of his whiskey seeing clearly for the first time what had to have been there the entire while. "My son's a pansy."

His father was staring at him and he couldn't help but do the same.  
>He wasn't feeling as if he needed to defend or explain himself, as if he had been caught doing wrong or had just been reprimanded.<br>No, for the first time in his life he was feeling understood by this man.  
>It was near foreign and so was the companionable silence that had come with it.<br>He just had to break it and with a coy smirk he did. "Aithnionn ciaróg ciaróg eile."

In seconds Jimmy's laughter filled the air and he was soon clapping a hand against his son's back.  
>Perhaps he'd take some time to finally get to know this man because maybe, just maybe, it did take one to know one.<p>

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"How is he?" It was the first thing he thought to ask as he stepped out into his sister's backyard.

"I don't know." Sarah spoke softly as she looked out to where her kids were playing.  
>They were completely care free. "I haven't made it out that way yet."<p>

"I can't imagine it bein' much worse than how I left him last night."

"You were with him yesterday?" That was news to her.

"I had the time." Aaron shrugged off ignoring the little fact that he had called off an entire shift to make it. She didn't need to know that.

"Pete and I have been trying to decide if we should tell the kids." Just by the way she was staring he could tell his opinion was wanted.

"I don't think El would want ya'll doing that. Hell Sarah, they're too young to understand anyway."

"But I feel like they at least deserve me trying to explain so that if bad news does come  
>it's not completely out of the blue for them." She was just full of fear as a sister and mother.<p>

"Sarah we'll wait for the good not plan for the bad. Just let the kids be kids for now, they don't need to be thinking about nothing else."

Sarah nodded as she listened to Rebecca's laughter fill the yard. She hoped nothing ever dimmed it.  
>"I hope Nate's with him." She let out as almost an afterthought. "I'd hate for him to be alone."<p>

Aaron stayed silent as he let her voice her thoughts but on his part he knew his brother was never truly alone.

"You know I've been thinking," She turned on the bench they were sharing not quite sure if she should continue with the thought. "We should tell ma."

"We should what?" He turned his sight away from his nephew and to the crazy coming from his sister.

"Aaron I think we should let her know what's been going on." They hadn't spoken since that heated evening and it seemed past time to do so.

"Why? She hasn't made the effort to check up on any of us!" He hadn't intended to get so loud but the suggestion absolutely floored him.

"Well neither have we." May she remind him that there was a second side.

"I doubt they care one way or the other." He knew he tried his best not to.  
>It saved them all a case of blame and anger.<p>

"Aaron he's their son." She tried pleading as he crossed his arms; apparently he was going to attempt blocking her out.

"I know as a mother," Yep she pulled the parent card. "that I'd want to know the second something happened to my son."

"Are you forgetting about the little fact that Dad hates him and Ma thinks he was corrupted somewhere along the way?"  
>Surely she hadn't forgotten the way they had spoken of Eliot after he'd left their home.<p>

"No I'm remembering how I felt when that little boy was born." She assured as she glanced at her son.  
>"I guarantee under all that dust and dirt she's been collecting she still feels the same, she'll still want to protect her baby boy."<p>

He sat there stubbornly without comment and it had her losing her cool. "Hell Aaron, you don't get angry about something you don't care about!  
>Who knows what the hell their reasoning is for why they act the way they do around him but there's got to be one! You know how dad is, if he didn't<br>care about El he would have just cut him out of the picture, that name would have never again left his mouth. Instead he barks and bitches about the  
>poor guy, however messed up it is he's still been keepin' some kind of connection."<p>

Aaron shook his head somberly at the warped thought. "It ain't right."

"Are any of us?" She knew he didn't like thinking of it, as a matter of fact  
>neither did she; but if that's what it took to finally find a decent medium then so be it.<p>

"I don't think you should… but I won't stop you if you do." Maybe it was cowardly to leave such a decision up to her  
>but he hadn't wanted to make it. "You just remember if a storm comes I ain't gettin' all wet to bring you an umbrella."<p>

She tossed her head back in an unamused huff, slapping his thigh as she did so. "Gee thanks".

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"I'll have you know never have I had as much trouble with a man as I have with yours." Sophie spoke factually as she crossed her ankles  
>in her newly taken seat. "It's like talking to a mule for Pete's sake. If it isn't one of his thoughts it can't possibly be considered." It always seemed<br>like he was trying to attack before he could possibly be attacked. "With the way you two bumped heads I know you know this, but tell me." She leaned  
>in close as if a great secret was about to be shared. "How did you get him to come around? What does it take for him to look at things from your perspective?"<p>

She admired that in Eliot.  
>He could get Nate to see things through a different light, to view them other than 'his way'.<br>It was something she had never quite managed.

"How do I get him to look at things through mine?" She had changed many a mind in her time but had never managed more than to persuade his.  
>"Hmm?" She wondered faintly as she leaned back. "Perhaps it's a tale you cannot tell. Do you know?"<p>

She heard the slightest of a mumble and it made her smile.  
>Even in a position where he positively couldn't speak he was still trying to get through to her.<br>Still trying to help a friend.

"You know you're lucky… there aren't many hospitals that have private rooms within the intensive care ward."  
>There were only four and she had been pleased to find Eliot had received one of them. "Though I've heard they soon plan to move you."<p>

Apparently the rooms were for patients that needed to be close at hand but not quite an arms length away, and apparently  
>Eliot was coming to a point where he no longer needed that closeness which she supposed was a good thing.<p>

"I'm sure Hardison and Parker will love that." ICU restricted access to all but a few members of  
>the immediate family and the sooner he left the sooner they could get back to that 24hr policy.<p>

"Jeffrey's is something wrong?" A shrill voice from outside the door had her standing hastily as she straightened pastel scrubs.

"No, not at all!" Clearly it was time to get back to 'work'. "I'll be back after I finish my rounds."  
>She patted his leg as she turned to leave. This would surely be an interesting shift.<p>

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"What do you got?" Sean asked as he turned from his report and to where Jordan was reading another.

"Low iron levels." He spoke distantly as he continued to study his information.

"Anemia?" Torlyn added that to his growing mental list.

"You know other than being in a coma the guys fairing pretty well. All his organs are up and running, nobody's worried about his liver all that much anymore, and his breathing levels haven't dropped since his arrival." Jordan tucked his glasses away as he continued. "He's improving. The only thing even remotely close to trauma in his CT's is some swelling, it's like his brain just called it. Like it got too stressed and put up a 'See you sometime' sign."

Sean nodded his agreement.  
>He knew how overwhelmed Spencer had become and it didn't surprise him that his body had claimed this incident as last straw.<br>"I think we should take a look at that shrapnel."

"They already did, it was too degraded to get anything off of it. The pure acid from the digesti-"  
>Suddenly Jordan stopped as he realized what he was saying. "The digestive juices."<p>

Torlyn nodded having gotten the same idea mere seconds ago. "While they're outside searching for a car why don't we take a look inside."

"Let's go"

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"You know," Sarah interrupted Aaron's thoughts of getting a house for Ashlee as one of her own appeared. "Eliot said he already had one."

"Wha'?" Aaron turned from his spot on the front porch swing to get a better look at his sister.

"When we were arguing I was telling him I wanted him to have the wife, the home, and babies.  
>He said he's already had all of that." She stopped to question. "Do you think he was talking literally?"<p>

"Sarah I think he would have let us known if he had a wife and kids. He was probably talking about having had the chance at one point."

"I don't know. You didn't see how serious, how angry he was about it."

"An Ex wife? Maybe…" Aaron relented as he admitted that they all had some secrets.  
>"But I can tell you right now he doesn't have any kids. Not with how protective he used to be of us.<br>No way would he have spent this much time away from them willingly if he did."

"I wonder what happened to her?" Per his words she was positive there was a her.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Aaron shrugged.

"God I hope he's not divorced." She didn't like the tainted feeling the word pushed on a person.

"Maybe that's what he and Nate have in common."

Sarah's loud; "Nate's divorced!" had him cringing at the slip. "Yeah, has been for a few years now I guess."

It sounded so familiar that Sarah took a minute to place it. "That's probably what he was talking about when I asked if he had any family or kids or anything."

"What did he say?" It didn't surprise him that she had been nosey enough to ask.

"Nothing really just no; that he didn't anymore."

"You think he's got kids?" Aaron asked before he could stop himself.  
>He didn't like digging in other people's dirt but he was genuinely curious.<p>

"Like you said," She shrugged off the question. "Your guess…"

"Are you going over that way tomorrow?" Aaron switched topic as he itched an annoying mosquito bite; they were the worst.

"I figured we would after we dropped the kids off."

"Once we…" but he cut himself off with a, "rrgghhh" as he stood, still scratching viciously at the bite.

She just nodded to his, "Be back" as he disappeared through the screen door.  
>Sighing contently, or at least as much as she could presently be, she kicked her feet off to start a movement.<p>

Within seconds there was a good loud clank and it had her lifting her head to investigate what had happened.  
>Her house phone lay there on the porch (the back a few inches away) it was pretty obvious that it must have fallen from the swing.<p>

She barely allowed herself to be annoyed with Aaron for leaving it in such a place as she lifted the pieces to reassemble it.  
>He had called Ashlee so she wouldn't be left to worry though she was pretty sure it had made her worry all the more.<br>The not knowing could really get to you after a while; she knew it did to her.

People deserved to be told about things that could possibly change their lives.  
>Ashlee deserved to know what was going on within her family because after all they were quickly becoming just that.<br>She was family and you kept family informed.

The thought had her glancing at the phone, than the door, and back.

You kept family informed.

With only the slightest hesitance she was dialing a number that had become quite dusty to her and though it took  
>another minute to pass she eventually pressed that green button and lifted the device to her ear. It took forever<br>yet no time at all to be answered and in a possibly shaky, slightly nervous voice she greeted, "Hey Ma."


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter Fifty-Eight**

**Three Days Later**

"And you're positive?" Sarah questioned as she looked from Aaron, to Torlyn, to Eliot and then back.

"One hundred percent: His loss of appetite and weight, the anemia and vomiting, the headaches and fatigue;  
>they're all classic symptoms." Torlyn explained as he waited for her to sign the form between him and starting treatment.<p>

"So when he wakes," The when was so clear he could nearly see through it. "He'll be good to go? After he finishes your go around that'll be the end of it?"

"There's no guarantee he won't have to face some after affects but I will say that there's better, brighter days coming in his sights."  
>He was expecting a response from Aaron but he just sat there clenching Spencer's hand tighter.<br>Instead the woman, who he had barely learned was Spencer's sister, (And if that hadn't been news to him) responded.

"What kind of after affects are we talking about?"

"There's no telling at the moment what his personal ones will be but some common ones are kidney disease, continued anemia, attention and behavioral changes, mo-"

"What do you mean attention and behavioral changes?" Aaron interrupted as he turned in his chair to get a better look at the doctor.

"I mean concentration might take longer and focus might leave faster. He might become upset or irritable over something you can't quite understand,  
>be angered by something he wouldn't have given a second thought to before." He hated having to tell the families that they might not get their loved one back in<br>the exact way they knew and loved them. "He might experience hearing or vision changes. He might have to face infertility."

"Are you saying?" Sarah was barely grasping that thought with the edges of her mind.

Torlyn tried to offer a comfort knowing that was one of the hardest to hear for some but Aaron cut him short. "That's exactly what he's saying Sarah."  
>Anger was welling deep in his heart as he looked past the body lying there and into the brother locked within.<br>Given Eliot's current life and outlook on it perhaps it wouldn't matter if such a possibility came true but still it lit him with fury.  
>What had Eliot done so wrong that he deserved to be denied such a decision?<br>What made it alright to rob him of the opportunity?

With a little hesitance she let the idea sink in.  
>Eventually she voiced it somberly. "He might not be able to have kids."<br>She didn't care what he might think about it; her heart was breaking for him.

With a heavy glance at her big brother she had her mind made.  
>It was in silence that she signed the form, passing it to Torlyn who was retreating soon after.<p>

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"Where the hell is this man!" He was beyond frustrated having been looking for the past couple hours.

"He did say he'd be gone a few." Parker reminded as she fiddled with the phone Hardison had traced back to Nate's dresser drawer.

"I don't like it!" He'd checked the airport, bus, and train stations with no luck. "Not one bit! What if something happened to him?"

"Maybe he just wanted some time for himself." Why wasn't that understandable?  
>Couldn't he simply want to be alone?<p>

"Well he's sure as hell stupid if he thought now was the time to take it!"  
>He couldn't understand how Nate could just walk out of the house so simply with the declaration of being back in a few.<br>Not when they were in a situation like this.

"Why?" Parker questioned in disagreement as she sat on the tables' corner. "It's not like Eliot really needs someone to hold his hand anyway."

"That's not the point Parker."He admonished as he pushed his keyboard away.

"Than what is?" She never seemed to get the point with these people.

"That it's not alright to take off and leave your loved ones alone in a hospital!" A standard set of morals told you that.

"Even if you come back better off for it?" She was in disbelief of this almost simple sense of right and wrong he had picked up.

"How is disappearing for a few days gonna make anything better for him?" By all means he wanted her to explain.

"Well it's not like it's going to make anything worse either." She'd been looking back to before she'd  
>known they didn't know about Nate and Eliot; how she wished for that ignorance once more.<p>

It seemed like their knowing had killed in the guys what she had found so entertaining.  
>Long ago the subtle game of one-uping each other had disappeared.<br>The glares that said someone would soon be killed; if not kissed had surely vanished.  
>That little spark of, unbeknownst to her, a secret being held had fizzled and she felt almost partly to blame.<br>They had intruded on knowledge that hadn't been ready to be shared.

"And if something happens while he's gone?"

She barely managed to suppress a huff of frustration as she stood to leave.  
>It didn't seem to matter what she said, no one actually listened.<p>

"Parker!" She didn't answer, just turned out of the room. "Parker, where are you going!"

Nothing.

He blew out an angry breath as he leaned back in his chair.  
>They were always trading pages but he wished just once they could be on the same one.<p>

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_His door opening had him taking a quick look away from the television to see who'd entered; but the sight itself had him doing a double take._

_"What the hell happened to you?!"_

_With a bloody smirk and the raising of a split brow Eliot answered, "Sparing session" before closing the door._

_"With what?" Nate demanded as he stood from the couch to meet the other halfway. "A wrecking ball!"_

_With a slight chuckle Eliot affirmed, "Something like that."_

_"Are you seriously telling me this was all done willingly?" He spotted bruising on his knuckles and what was sure to be defensive marks on his forearms._

_"It got a little bit rougher than usual." Eliot shrugged off simply as he moved past Nate with thoughts of cleaning up._

_"This is a regular thing?" Nate questioned as he followed him._

_He didn't know much about how Eliot spent his free time but surely he didn't go to get his brains scrambled for sport._  
><em>Not with what he did for a living.<em>

_"New guy started throwin' cheap shots." He wet a washcloth as Nate settled against the doorframe. "I figured somebody needed to teach him a thing or two."_

_"And that somebody just had to be you?" Work was one thing, but this; to him this was pointless and stupid._

_"Look," Eliot reigned in annoyance at Nathan's sarcasm as he tossed the cloth in the sink._  
><em>All he had wanted was to clean up and hang out but that idea was clearly coming to its end. "If you don't like the blood I'll leave."<em>

_"I don't like the blood," Nate began almost defiantly. "But if you try to leave I can guarantee you haven't seen the last of the cheap shots."_

_"Is that right." For some reason such a threat from Nate was incredibly amusing at the moment._

_With a half shrug Nate smirked, "I never claimed to play fair," Eliot near snorted at that. "and perhaps I want to learn this thing or two you've been teaching."_

_"It's a hard lesson to learn." Eliot quipped as he got back to mending minor injuries._

_For a moment all was silent as he continued to watch Eliot, eventually rinsing out his mouth. "Why do you do it?"_

_The bath towel was pulled from the rack to wipe his mouth as he answered, "To stay on my toes… to keep in shape, to blow off steam."_  
><em>And unadmittedly to regain a sense of control when he felt about ready to lose it.<em>

_"I'm pretty sure there are easier ways to do that." He could take a drive, go for a run, heck even beating a punching bag was better than letting yourself be used as one._

_"Haven't found one yet that works as well." Eliot dismissed as he pulled a sweaty t-shirt over his head._

_"Of course you haven't." Nate spoke knowingly._

_"By all means share if you have!" He slid past Nate and into the bedroom._

_"I don't think it's quite your style." Nate continued to observe as Eliot removed his boots before grabbing his duffel._  
><em>"You see I found something that gets rid of all my frustrations."<em>

_"Oh really?" He knew that tone of voice._  
><em>It was the one that told him Nate was about to say something that would rub him the wrong and right way all at once.<em>

_It wasn't hard to tell that Eliot had caught on as he nodded deviously. "Something I can use and abuse to my heart's content."_

_"Is that so?" If possible there was just enough insult in those words to compliment._

_"Works like a charm." He didn't move as Eliot neared._  
><em>The game never changed, yet it was never the same which held a big part of its intrigue.<em>

_"Every time?" Eliot replied as easily as if it had been scripted._  
><em>Though it hadn't been what he wanted to come of the night he'd follow his ques.<em>  
><em>After all it was what became of every night they shared; why should he expect different?<em>

_"Every time" Nate confirmed, expecting a roughness, almost a gruffness to appear from Eliot like it always had._

_"Every time?" Eliot repeated as he used himself to press Nate further into the wall._

_"Every Single Time" He leaned in but Eliot pulled back._

_For some reason there was none of that machoism between them, none of that_  
><em>animalistic need Eliot always met him with, nothing but a foreign gaze firmly planted in those icy eyes. <em>

_"You keep coming to me…" He knew there was a question coming but he wouldn't allow himself to be hounded for an answer he didn't have._  
><em>Instead he offered a kiss that was near slow as molasses; which he would never admit was his doing.<em>

_"Eli -" Nate wanted to get a word out but he could barely manage a breath._

_Eliot pulled back slightly with a warning in his eye that all but screamed 'Shut Up'! As he moved to Nate's jaw line where he alternated_  
><em>between kissing and nipping until he reached his ear. "Anywhere…"<em>

_Even the hands creeping beneath his shirt seemed foreign._  
><em>They almost reminded him of the touch of a, NO…<em>  
><em>He wouldn't allow himself to think the words in fear of what they'd bring; yet he felt it.<em>  
><em>A sensation so indescribable that it couldn't be pictured with a thousand words, yet it managed to be captured in one. "Eliot"<em>

_With a smirk against Nate's neck he dragged his nails down his sides until his fingers reached an unwanted restriction._

_"Eliot" Perhaps it was with anticipation that the name came out, possibly contemplation, or at least as close to that as his puddled mind could get._  
><em>Vaguely there was some thought about games and the rules to them, but hot breath beside his ear blew it right away. "…Anytime"<em>

"ANYTIME!" The feeling of something connecting with his lower legs had him slowly opening his eyes.

There stood his father wielding a pillow with the shouts of, "Get your ass up! Now's as good as anytime!"

It took a minute to actually process what was going on before he replied, "Don't you think I'm a little too old for wakeup calls."

"Don't you think you're a little too old to be sleeping all damn day?" Jimmy shot back as he tossed the pillow at his son.

A glance at the clock had him rubbing his eyes in disbelief of the numbers displayed. "Tell me you don't really consider this sleeping in."

"The early bird beats the bullet." Jimmy stated calmly as he moved to the door. "Now get moving!"

With a grown he buried his face in the newly gained pillow.  
>Why couldn't he have had ten more minutes of blissful ignorance?<br>Just a few more misleading moments?  
>It was his favorite dream after all; even better than the memory.<p>

The copper tang of Eliot's tongue so strong in his thoughts he'd swear he could almost taste it even now.  
>The second his hands had stopped touching and started caressing. The moment satisfaction turned to passion.<br>It was fresh and full of freedom. It was learning without understanding. It was the end of something they had selfishly  
>started and the beginning of something they had desperately avoided. It was a long ago past and a very distant future.<p>

Yeah… it was definitely more than a memory.

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**Spencer Home**

"You're staring." Michael spoke with annoyance as he lowered his newspaper.

"Sorry" Caroline diverted her eyes as she took a sip of her orange juice.

With an appraising once over he raised his paper once more.

"Mike?"

"Yes?" He barely acknowledged as he tried to resume his article.

"Sarah called a few days ago." She started carefully as she watched for an adverse reaction.

"And?" His attention was caught as he folded the paper and placed it to his side.

"She had some unpleasant news about our son." It was a topic she only crossed with emotional distance; it was better that way.

"What did that boy do this time?" He'd swear the kid thought he'd been given a 'get out of jail free' card simply for being the youngest.

"No, it's nothing like that. She actually called on behalf of Eliot."

"I don't want to hear it." He spoke firmly as he lifted his paper.

"But Michael"

"Dammit Caroline!" He tossed the paper in anger. "I said I don't want to hear it.  
>If he has something to say to me than he can bring his ass here and say it himself! Now that's the end of it."<p>

For a moment she watched him as he lifted his fork and began to eat, but it wasn't long before she was finding it hard to stay silent.  
>"But he can't speak." He looked to be full of fury as she added, "He's in a coma."<p>

The silence that fell seemed to last forever as she watched him intently.  
>The fury was gone; replaced by something she couldn't name.<br>Something she hadn't seen in all their 38 years of marriage.

Abruptly he stood, breaking the silence as he declared, "I'm going out."

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All went silent as he shut off the television with a sigh.

Sarah had left over an hour ago and he was absolutely out of his mind with boredom.  
>There was nothing to do but wait and he was extremely tired of it, yet he knew the second he left he would want nothing more than to return to his brothers side.<br>Someone needed to be there and at the moment he seemed to be the only one available. Sarah had to put the children first, there was no choice in that, and Nate had to reappear first. Hearing that he'd left without ushering a word of his intentions had been shocking; Nate was always there so there had to be reason. After all the time and dedication he'd seen Nate give his brother there was no convincing him that the man would simply take off without plans of returning; it just wasn't probable.

With another sigh he kicked his feet off of the chair they'd been propped on, swinging his legs around so he could stand.  
>He entertained the thought of peering out the window but it faced a garden that didn't have much to look at unless you liked watching the grass grow.<p>

"Damn it Eliot," He grumbled as he pulled his finger across a smudge on the nurses dry erase board. "Wake your ass up already."

"Shhhhh"

Though it was the slightest of sounds he jumped as though it had been the biggest of booms. "Eliot?"

"Dad will yell if he hears you saying those words."

"Eliot" He was at his brother's side in a half second flat. "Eliot, you up?"

Sitting in those sleepy blue eyes was a look he swore he'd never again see; he hadn't since they were kids.

"Shh" He barely managed to voice, his words seeming too heavy. "You'll get in trouble."

"Eliot" He watched his brother's eyes droop closed and for a moment had to assure himself that yes, they had indeed been open.

"Wake up!" Aaron shook his arm viciously but it was as if he didn't feel it. "Please"  
>He was patting and poking anything and everything possible but there wasn't even the slightest hint of discomfort.<br>"El" He pulled a chair to the very side of the bed, sitting with fresh hope. "El please"

All was quiet; frustratingly so.  
>He had just heard him talking.<br>Hadn't he?


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter Fifty-Nine**

"I can assure you his rem cycles haven't changed sir." She was quickly losing her patience with this man. "Spencer hasn't woken."

"I don't give half a damn about rem cycles lady! I'm telling you he was just up and talking."

"Sir that kind of langu-"

"What's going on here Julie?" Torlyn entered the room in what had to be perfect timing.

"This man," He was lucky she showed him that much respect. "Insists that the patient was just awake and speaking."

"Is that so?" He turned to Aaron in wonder. Though Spencer had introduced them personally he still knew nothing of the man other than his name.

"Yes, not twenty minutes ago he was looking at me and talking with me." Why was it that they'd sooner believe him crazy than to be telling the truth?

"Talking with you or talking to you?"

"What's the difference, he was talking!" He doubted if there was any real difference to be explained.

"Have you ever heard of an unconscious response?" Torlyn questioned as he stepped aside so Julie could exit.

"Yeah, it's when you do something out of reflex; without thinking about it."

"No, that would be a subconscious response. An unconscious response is less likely to be witnessed and harder to detect."

"Well I did so hows about we cut the psychology lesson and get to the point." He knew he wasn't the brightest of the bunch but he sure wasn't stupid enough to let himself be down talked either.

"Alright Aaron," He wouldn't waste his breath speaking words that wouldn't be heard. "The point is I don't believe he was talking to you. "

"What do you mean you don't believe it! It's the truth!" If one more person accused him of lying he just might explode.

"Now I do believe you when you say words left his mouth but I highly doubt it was an attempt at conscious conversation.  
>That just wouldn't be something he'd be capable of at the moment." How he wished it could be that easy.<p>

"So you're saying words were just coming out of his mouth without him knowing it?" He couldn't believe that. "That it was just a coincidence they matched up with mine."

"No I'm saying that it was a response." Sean tried for a softer approach noting that Aaron was on the defense. "One that you unintentionally caused."

"What does that even mean?" Getting his brother to talk to him sure hadn't been accidental.

"I believe your words triggered his. It's like when someone tells you thank-you, immediately you'd respond with..."

"You're welcome" Aaron found himself answering out of habit.

"Exactly my point. Whatever you said triggered what he said and I bet if you look back on it hard enough you'll find that this wasn't the first time you've heard those exact words."

"I don't..." he was seconds away from saying remember until suddenly he did.

_"Damn it" A nine year old Aaron swore as he called, "Eliot!"_

_"Shh" Eliot breathed out in a harsh whisper as he entered the room and reached his brother's side. "Dad will yell if he hears you saying those words." _

_"But Eliot!" He didn't want to be reprimanded; that's what was supposed to happen to Sarah after he tattled. _

_"Shh" A hand was clamped over his mouth in warning. "You'll get in trouble."_

Whether it be recognition or understanding Torlyn clearly saw it painted across Aaron's features. "You see, he didn't have to think of a reply because it was already scripted for him."

"So he's still out?" It was hard to believe Eliot would simply repeat a random conversation from 20 years ago.  
>Hell, the only reason he still remembered it was thanks to the Tabasco bubbles he'd been blowing a good week after his dad finally did catch him cussing.<p>

"Like a light."

"And there's no way of knowing when that might change?"

He looked past a questioning gaze and to his long time patient.  
>As a hospital doctor he had all but seen this case to its end yet it was still nowhere near finished. "It's all up to him."<p>

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An announcement that they'd soon be landing broke through a slight slumber Nate had fallen into.  
>A little over three hours ago he had departed from his father with a reluctant promise to meet back up in a few months and was now heading back home.<p>

Well back to Eliot at least.

Though he'd admit a few days away had been a nice reprieve that slight worry in the back of his mind had kept him from enjoying himself.  
>After all it only took moments for things to go wrong and he had been gone days.<br>The thought almost made him regret leaving his phone behind but the feeling soon changed as he reminded himself of how Hardison had been hassling him.

It seemed like every word he spoke was questioned and every action watched; like he was something that needed to be kept in close tabs.

As if he was no longer trusted by the man.

With a sigh he turned his sights out the window, beginning to ponder a sudden realization.  
>Somewhere along the way of mending his relationship with Eliot the one between him and the team had been damaged.<p>

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"Hello Hardison" Sophie greeted as she walked into Eliot's living room.

"Don't hello Hardison me!" Within seconds he was off the couch; pent up frustration just waiting to be released. "Where have you been?"

"Working" She offered simply as she sat. Hardison's outbursts no longer fazed her.  
>She had long ago learned it was nothing more than him letting out emotions he couldn't deal with otherwise.<p>

"Working? We haven't had a job!" He'd swear his head would explode if she said she'd found some man to con.

"Well I found one. Surely you didn't expect me to sit about and do nothing with the day." A lazy day might be luxury to him but it was torture to her; she just had to be doing something.

"Well when will you be finished with it?" The sooner she emptied the poor fool's pockets the sooner she could get her mind back on their reason for being here.

"When I quit I suppose," Sophie offered as she turned her gaze toward the kitchen. Where was Parker? "Unless I get fired first."

"Fired?" Hardison spoke with confusion before her meaning dawned on him. "You got a real job? Like a get up every morning and go to work job?" For some reason he needed to sit down with that news.

"It's that shocking?" Sophie shook her head amusedly.

"Where at?" He knew for fact it wasn't going to be some minimum wage customer service gig.  
>Anyone else maybe but he was pretty sure hell would freeze over before you found Sophie doing so.<p>

"The hospital" Originally it had been a ploy to check on Eliot but for some reason she found herself continuously returning.

"Sophie you need training to work there. You can't just con the patients into feeling better!" He didn't even want to imagine what she had been up to.

"Money buys more than shoes Hardison." After all they had been through you'd think they'd stop with the assumptions already.

"She has two degrees you know." Parker's voice nearly boomed through the living room for how unexpected it was.

"And how do you know this?" Sophie questioned Parker who was propped in the entryway with Franc securely tucked in her arms.

"I don't" Parker smiled brightly as she placed the cat down, not at all bothered by the black fur that covered her white shirt.

"You..." Sophie cut the thought short as she shook her head. It didn't matter.

"I'm going to go visit Eliot." She announced as she walked past Sophie.  
>If she was a lesser person she'd be mad that Sophie had been unreachable up until now. "Do you wanna come with me?"<p>

Since she didn't seem to be talking to anyone, her back was to them as she rummaged through a drawer, Hardison wasn't sure who she had intended to ask but still he answered, "Yeah I'm coming with you."

"Sophie?" Parker asked as she suddenly shut the drawer.

"Umm" She actually had to think a good moment before agreeing, "Yes of course I'll go."  
>She easily found herself being once again distracted with the tension that flowed thickly between them.<br>Something had obviously happened there.

"Good, then let's go." Hardison all but excused. Sophie was looking at him funny and Parker was giving him a look that clearly said, 'Don't look at me!'

"Lets" Parker agreed as she all but zoomed out the door. Sophie was looking at her funny and Hardison's gaze all but screamed, 'Stop staring at me! '

On autopilot she followed them out the door not wanting to disrupt her appraisal.

No doubt. Something had gone on between them.

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"You're thinking about him aren't you?" Michael questioned reluctantly as he sat beside his wife on their sofa.  
>It had been hours since she had said much of anything and whether he wanted to think about it or not he knew she was worried.<p>

"I'd like to go see him." She knew it wouldn't sit well with him but she couldn't quite stop herself from voicing it.

"Caroline," He sighed as she turned to him with sorrow filled eyes. "That boy doesn't want us there. He hasn't wanted us in a long time now."

"How can you say that?" Admittedly there were troubles between her and her eldest but she still held hope in her heart that they could be remedied.

"How can't you?" Michael questioned firmly. "When's the last time that boy's made you feel anything other than hurt?"

"When's the last time we made him feel anything other than hurt Michael?" She knew the question would unsettle him but it didn't stop her from asking it. "For Christ's sake he thinks we blame him!"

"You know why I did what I did." That wasn't something he'd allow to be tossed in his face. Not when she had her fair part in it.

"Well it isn't a lesson unless the lessons learned." If there was ever a day to regret that one would surely be it.

"How was I supposed to know he'd go off and join the military! He was supposed to come back home a little shaken but better off for it!"  
>Not a day in his life had Eliot done what he was supposed to though so he wasn't sure why he thought he would then.<p>

"Well it wasn't him that was shaken." Every night she shook with fear of what would happen.  
>Every day she watched the pain that it had caused her two youngest and eventually she just hollowed herself to it.<br>She distanced herself and her children as far away from it as possible so it wouldn't hurt as much if bad news did indeed come.

"Caroline" There was a reason they didn't talk about him; it brought just too much to handle.

"No Michael, he's your son." She barely remembered the excitement he had long ago showed at the revelation of being gifted with a son. "Try to remember that."

"Caroline" Michael called for attention as she moved from his side. "Carol!" Still she continued right up the stairs leaving him to sigh out with frustration.

Even if he tried he couldn't recall when things had gotten so out of hand.  
>On more than one occasion he had been ready to mend things with his son but it had just never happened.<br>Eliot was up to his ears in anger, maybe even hate for him and it was easier to return it than to open himself up to vulnerability.

This he knew could be fixed but if he humbled himself toward apology and it got tossed back at him he knew the damage would be irreparable.  
>Judgment was easier, it served him and Caroline like a shield. It also served to fuel the fire though and as much as it helped not to get hurt it hindered their chances at finding happiness.<br>"Lord," roughly he wiped a hand across his face as his head dropped and his forearms found their way to his knees. "If that boy does one thing right in his life let it be waking up."


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: It's been too long you guys :(  
>School junk has been giving me the biggest headache lately and work has got me barely dealing… but no excuses just a very long chapter to apologize for the wait and to thank you for your patience! So Enjoy!<strong>

**Chapter Sixty**

"Anyone here!" Nate called out as he closed the door on a sinking sun.  
>"Hardison!" He passed the living room completely as he went to inspect the kitchen. "Parker!" The place was nearly dead silent and having<br>checked the two most visited rooms in the house that probably meant it was because no one was there. Still he moved over to the stairway where both Franc and Steve were spread out on their respective stairs. "Anyone home!" He got no reply, just two annoyed feline glares which peeved him extremely.

With a tightened grip on his carry-on he turned to the bedroom, reaching it in no time.  
>Still he hesitated slightly for some reason before turning the handle and stepping inside.<p>

The first thing he noticed was the opened dresser drawer; it wasn't all that shocking seeing as he already knew they'd be looking for him.  
>The second was the pristine condition of the room. He dropped the bag to the left as he took a few steps in the same direction.<br>He didn't know how he felt about this. He was positive he had left clothes on the bed, that he had tossed a half read newspaper on top of the TV, that a wet towel had been dropped in front of the closet, but they were all gone from those spots. Even the undershirts in which he had placed his phone under were still folded within the drawer. Everything seemed perfect. Only it wasn't he learned when he turned his gaze back toward the bed. 

The cup on the side table was missing.

Anger quickly flared through him as he let what they did sink in.  
>He didn't care that someone had been in his room, he didn't care that they had moved and rearranged his things, and he didn't even care that they had probably searched the whole place top to bottom, but they had touched that cup and it had his blood ready to boil.<p>

That was Eliot's cup, he had placed it on the nightstand, that's where Eliot had wanted it and for that sole reason he hadn't touched it.  
>It didn't matter that it still had water within or that it had been sitting for far too many days because it was Eliot's to do as he so wished when he got back home, only now he couldn't. It was Eliot's cup, yet they had probably put it in the dishwasher, scrubbing away a comfort he would never admit it had brought to him.<p>

It had him wanting to scream.

Suddenly this place felt more foreign than familiar, as if anything private or personal had been swept up with the mess.  
>It certainly didn't feel like home, not like it had when he shut Eliot and himself away from the rest of the world.<br>When he'd close himself into what was left of his world when Eliot had once again shaken it.  
>It had all been disrupted and he felt like so had he.<p>

Those emotions took him to the bathroom where he tried, along with the days' travel, to wash them away.  
>The water was cool as it quickly met his face, dripping down his neck as it slid from his cheeks. The shower would be his final destination but for now his attention was on the sink, or at least on the water swirling down its drain. That was until he glanced up and into a broken mirror.<p>

For a while he watched some water drip from his nose before his gaze lost focus and he began seeing more than what was there.  
>A greenish purple hue that had long ago covered his neck was now as clear as his reflection only it wasn't exactly his that he was seeing. It was a frightened man's; one that inspected his throat diligently as he blew too long hair from his eyes with a pain filled breath. He didn't stay in view for long though as a happier more annoyed man claimed his spot. He too was inspecting a bruise but it held a redder tone and it sat proudly on his collarbone where it had been pleasurably put.<br>Still another appeared who tiredly attempted to brush his teeth without much success, yet eyes that had all but been drooping suddenly seemed bright and alert as he was pulled backward slightly.

A warm southern smile was propped on his shoulder and he couldn't help but return it.  
>Unintentionally his eyes slid closed as tried to remember the grip in which he had been held, the warmth that had been pressed<br>against his back, but the memory was just beyond reach. Affectively it killed the haze he had inadvertently fallen into and any illusion that was  
>trying to come with it. With a sigh he shut off the faucet moving to unbutton his shirt; just as soon as he cleaned up he was going to go find the real thing.<p>

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"I knew he was lying when he said he only slept 90 minutes a day." Sophie smirked at Hardison's comment as she continued to watch Parker who had squeezed herself onto the very bottom of the bed. "Personally I think this is his form of calling strike; what better way to stick it to the man."

'I'd assume quitting would be a better alternative Alec." Their visit had been full of his joking which she continued to go along with although Parker had been strangely quiet so far.

"Naw because just think about it: Here he gets waited on hand and foot. All his meals are personally delivered and no matter what time of the day somebody's eagerly waiting for him to wake up. Plus it's all going on the boss man's tab!" He smiled cockily as he raised an eyebrow at her. Humor desperately needed to be added to what was too serious of a situation for anyone to handle properly.

"Perhaps that would be desirable if he found himself in a position to actually enjoy it but seeing as he works for Nate I somehow doubt he would." Once more she looked over to Parker who was intently staring at Eliot.

"And that's what I want to know!" Hardison spoke with a tad bit of agitation. "When did we start working for instead of with Nate? Who made him boss?"

"We did." Parker offered without switching her attention or gaze.

Sophie simply shrugged, "Every team has a leader."

"I ain't got a problem with him being leader, what I don't like is when he gets cocky and starts playing big boss."  
>The man was nearly intolerable when his ego came to visit.<p>

"Well at least you only have one," Parker argued as she tucked her legs further to her side. "Sophie's got two now."

"That's right ain't it?" Hardison recollected. "What do you do here anyway?"

Sophie simply shrugged as she offered up a soft smile. "A little of this and some of that."

"What does that even mean?" Hardison questioned though she simply offered another sly smile. "Come on Soph, give me some kind of hint."

"Alright" She relented as she absently wondered if Parker knew what it was that she did indeed do. "I am in no way, shape, size, or form a nurse."

"Really" He would have said RN for sure.

"In fact my medical knowledge is very limited." A brain surgeon she was not.

"How did you get a job in the hospital if you didn't study medicine?"  
>No sooner than the question left his mouth an idea dawned on him. "You're a runner aren't you?"<p>

That had her ready to laugh. "Gaining access to the ICU requires a little more skill than wheelchair pushing Hardison."

"You've got an access pass?" His eyes went wide.

"Before you bother to ask the answer is no," The gleam in his eye had her positive he'd want to use or copy it for reasons that were very questionable. "and don't even think about looking for my alias either."

"Those are unfounded accusations Sophie cuz I didn't say a word to suggest any of it. It's not my fault if you're feeling guilty about a career you won't let nobody know about!" And he was just dying to know!

"Well I'll do my best to keep the guilt to a minimum on my part if you keep the suspicion the same on yours." She offered sheepishly. It felt good to have a little something just for herself.

"Are you hearing this Parker?"

"There is nothing to tell Hardison," He was definitely one for dramatics. "I've only been at it for a little while now and I plan on leaving well before the shine wears off."

Parker rolled her eyes at that.  
>How Sophie could be a world class grafter and still miss the fact that Hardison had played her with such an easy line was beyond her.<br>Surely she knew that he only put such a flare on things when he was digging for answers and reactions.

"You ever think about picking up an honest life Soph?" If he understood correctly she had already taken the first step by finding an honest way to support herself.

"Never," She spoke without hesitation. "I'd probably die of the boredom. Imagine spending each day in the same exact way, of falling into a routine none the less."

His nose wrinkled in something close to disgust. "I don't know about all that."

"What do you think Parker?" Sophie's attention was once more on her.  
>She was just too opinionated to be this silent.<p>

"What's he up to that's got you so mesmerized mama?" She looked to be near studying him, her concentration so thick he knew Eliot himself would be annoyed.

"He's moving." Even as she said it his finger twitched as if to prove point.

"It's probably involuntary." Hardison rationalized.

"No, it's him." She swore. "When I moved his feet to sit he moved one back some and his left hand has been going this whole time, it's barely under the sheet now." She'd also say his head was turned further to the side, almost as if he was trying to put distance between himself and Hardison's ramblings, but she couldn't be sure.

"Do you know what that means?" Sophie questioned knowingly.

"He preffers to sleep on his side." Hardison teased.

"He's emerging." Sophie offered seriously.

"The last time I was here he was making sounds." Parker turned her attention to Sophie.  
>It was ironic that not two full weeks ago she had been disappointed in him for not eating a whole meal yet now she was proud of him for verbalizing half a syllable.<p>

"I'm telling you it won't be long now before he's up and with us." This experience really had her realizing how important it was to count your blessings because even when you're thinking not things can obviously get worse.

"You hear that Eliot?" Hardison turned his gaze over to what he tried not to categorize as a sad sight. "You better get your mind moving before your feet get tired of waiting and leave it behind." And there was that careless hope that disappointed him so often.

"Is that possible?" The strange looks she was getting didn't faze her.  
>Too many monster mystery movie marathons with Franc had her imagining a cross between Frankenstein and The Zombie. <p>

"By now I'd say anything's possible Parker." His answer was optimism and skepticism all in one.

"Did Aaron say if he'd be returning tonight?" Sophie changed topic as she realized what hour they were approaching.

"He took off to Edmond, said he didn't have a choice." Those were about the only words he had said to him other than he'd be back just as soon as possible. "Kind of leaves you wondering what the options were."

"He's been out here for how long now?" Parker reminded. It was weird that she had caught on to such a conclusion when  
>they were supposedly the normal ones. "He's probably close to losing his job."<p>

"Well I certainly hope not." Sophie spoke sympathetically. "Imagine having to constantly choose between keeping close to your fiancé and visiting your sick brother. The sheer distance has got to be stressful enough without adding the fear and uncertainty of unemployment."

"Tell me about it," Hardison spoke softly as his gaze wandered back over to Parker. "The sooner this is over the better we'll all be."

"Don't rush him!" Parker's voice was stern as she glared at him before turning to Eliot; offering an awkward pat to his calf as she said, "Take your time Bubba."

"So," Hardison breathed out as he shared a long (assessing Parker) look with Sophie. "Who's staying with El?" There was a box of security tapes at the post office that had his night already claimed.

"It's going to rain." Parker stated in a way he could only assume was supposed to be explanatory as she dismissed herself as an option.

"I can't quite stay with him but," Sophie didn't try to find Parker's meaning knowing more confusion than understanding would come unless she questioned things further. "I'll be here most of the night so I'll keep my ears open."

"Good" His declaration was accompanied by a boom of thunder that had Parker leaping off the bed with a shout of, "Billy!"

Soon enough she was out of the room and they were sharing another look, Sophie standing as it dawned on her. "The cats"

Hardison shook his head as he announced, "We better go."  
>They were all pretty much outdoor animals and he didn't even want to think about what she planned on doing with six cats once it was time to move on.<br>With an ease that wasn't completely sincere he waved goodbye to his brother. "See you later man."

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"I hope you two know there are rules in this house." Nate spoke strictly from where he stood at the bottom of the bed with his arms crossed.  
>"For starters that is my side of the bed Steve, and I don't care how many times you try puppy pouting because you know you're not supposed to be there. It might work on Eliot but it certainly won't with me and Franc…" His voice rose slightly with distaste. "There are some things you just don't clean in the presence of others. And especially not on my pillow!" They didn't seem to mind his reprimanding though and it left him sighing out in frustration as he moved to the side of the bed.<p>

"Down" He didn't waste any time in lifting Franc and carrying him to the door where  
>he placed; resisting the evil little urge to toss (He wasn't sadistic after all) him in the hall. "You too"<br>He turned to Steve who was looking insulted. "Now don't give me that; you just wait until I find Parker and we'll see who's getting that look. Now move it missy."

Surprisingly enough she did if only to go rub against his calf. "Hey, now none of that" Nate ordered even as he kneeled down next to her.  
>"You and I are not friends. You are a cat and I dislike cats." Which was why he was, not, scratching behind her ear.<br>"I'm sorry but that's just the way it goes." A thunderous boom echoed those words and it had him realizing, "I better get going."  
>He'd been trying to wait for someone's return but it was starting to become clear that they'd obviously made other plans and he wanted to get to Eliot's side before the rain really started. A storm within telling him that maybe the others were already with Eliot because something bad had happened.<p>

He shook away the fear as he stood; walking right out of the room with Steve on his heels.  
>"You two better not trash the place," Nate turned with a hard glare as he reached the front door.<br>Steve simply sitting a few feet away in what reminded him of a dog's loyalty. "And stay off the bed!"

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"Where are you man?" Hardison grumbled as he paused one of the bars' surveillance videos on his laptop.  
>Admittedly he had been dragging his feet in his search for their threat but it was only because he had doubled his search for Nate.<p>

Who knew the man could disappear so efficiently?

At least he was hoping he had disappeared.  
>They were in for a whole other can of worms if someone had made him vanish.<p>

"I found him!" Parker's shout had him abandoning his seat as he moved to the back door.  
>"Girl," The puddle under her bare feet was spreading quickly. "you're soaked." <p>

'It's pouring" She smiled gleefully as she bent over to let Billy down.

"You should go get dried off." Her hair was plastered to her face and he could only assume her clothes were clinging uncomfortably.

"I've got a better idea." She spoke with near childlike enthusiasm as she grabbed one of his hands and pulled him toward her.

"Parker" He half warned half worried as she took a step back, still pulling him forward as she pushed the screen open. "No… no,no,no… I am not-" Only he was on the porch and getting wet before he could even finish the protest.

"I love the rain." She declared as she closed her eyes and angled her face toward the sky.  
>Hardison couldn't help but smile as she all but reveled in it. In the very least it wasn't cold which he was thankful for.<br>"It feels like kisses on my skin." Her gaze was blissful as she suddenly bounded down the stairs and it left him with goose bumps.

He couldn't help but lose himself in her laughter as she spread her arms and spun around.  
>Suddenly he felt as if there was indeed something special about the rain.<p>

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"Hey you," Nate all but chastised as he closed the door to their newest room. "I don't remember anyone saying anything about moving you?"  
>When he had found out Eliot was no longer in the ICU fear crept in until they explained that it was because he no longer needed it.<br>Knowing that Eliot was still alive and doing relatively well loosened an all too tight grip on his heart and he found himself relaxing, if only slightly.

"You're lucky I like you," Two light switches were flipped off as he turned a dial to dim the remaining light into what was barely more than a soft glow.  
>"I've already been on four floors just looking for you." He didn't pay much mind to anything as he moved a decently cushioned chair over to the side of the bed.<br>"So," Ever careful of tubing he leaned down to kiss Eliot's temple, taking a moment to breath in the familiarity, before sitting back down.  
>"Turns out we abandoned Boston for no reason. It was just my dad checking up on me. Apparently he's grown a conscious in his old age."<p>

With an ease that only time and devotion could bring he slid his hand under Eliot's, moving his other up and down the hitter's forearm in what he could only hope was a coaxing pattern. "He also mentioned wanting a one on one with you." His words were laced with humor. "I told him I'd get right on that so… just as soon as you can." Right now he'd give just about anything to hear what he knew would be a priceless reply from Eliot. "While you're at it I'm going to start searching for homes because I need more than fifty square feet to call my own. Sharing the house with Hardison and Parker is hard enough, but six cats Eliot?"

Somehow he just knew at least one was currently on his bed. "I can't go there; we've got to find a place of our own." His knuckles ran along the outline of Eliot's chin, his feelings mixed about the facial hair that scratched them. "So where to Mr. Spencer? Which city? We can look in any state. Take your pick of all the countries. Whether it be hot, cold, wet, or dry, busy or secluded I'll go anywhere… and I mean it, mansion or mobile home. Just give me the word and I'll go anywhere with you." His words were more open than he'd intended and it had him wondering if Eliot could actually hear what he was saying. If he'd remember it.

"Can you imagine the days then?" He'd like to think he would. "We can sit on the couch without Parker wedging herself in between. Be in a room without Hardison and one of his many comments appearing from nowhere." If he heard one more, 'Ya'll Nasty" he just might kill their hacker. The sass and accusation in which he spoke had yet to be merited. "We can have lazy mornings, we can keep the day short, maybe even make the night long." He could all but imagine the raised brow that would've gotten him, the look that questioned how he was so sure of himself, which he wasn't when it came to Eliot, but he couldn't help himself from suggesting it. It had been a very long summer.

"Do you remember the night your truck wouldn't start?" The echoes of thunder only seemed to aid his memory. "We couldn't have  
>been together more than three or four months when you called me for that ride. It took me almost three hours to find the hole you had lost yourself in."<br>Despite the anger he remembered feeling a smile formed on his face. "I got stuck in the mud twice, but finally I found your stupid self sitting on that tailgate.  
>It was pouring and there you were just as happy as a clam to be sitting in the middle of it." He hadn't understood at the time but he was starting to.<p>

"Remember me telling you that you weren't getting in my car like that? You just shrugged and said you'd rather walk anyway.  
>I was so mad that you'd blown me off so smugly after you all but dragged me out there yet I didn't leave. I ended up sitting right beside you,<br>you grinning like the devil himself after a two for one soul sale." For some reason days like those didn't seem fond until you found them in your memories.

"I was sneezing for days afterward and everyone was thinking you'd finally snapped because you just kept laughing.  
>It didn't make sense to them so I just told 'em that you had hit your head too hard and they actually believed it." A smirk grew with that admission.<br>"No one questioned it, or my cold for that matter. I think right then they would've preferred the lie though, it was easier to accept you scrambling your brains than us rocking the boat." The rhythm of rain drops and the assurance that Eliot was close had an ease washing over him.

"Even if we were in a position to tell them I doubt they would've believed us, especially not Sophie and Hardison. Heck they barely believe us now!  
>Imagine if we would have told them I caught a cold because we were out half the night kissing in the rain. They would've died laughing." He was pretty sure he would have been laughing right along with them, Eliot glaring the entire while which would've only cemented the comment in their minds as a simple joke.<p>

"I think you would have killed me," More like knew. "But the point is we should make more time for nights like that. Just you and me without reason or care, with no explanation or cause other than because…" Lord knew they needed it. "But at least we get one tonight." It wasn't ideal but it was almost true if you squinted slightly. "All you've got to do is stop being a bed hog and we'll be set." The best thing about Eliot moving from ICU was the fact that there was no time limit; he could stay just as long as his heart desired. "It'll be just you and me like always."

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It was dead quite in the house except for the soft snores of a sleeping blonde flowing through his ears.

She had long since fallen asleep but he had yet to move, partly because he was content with where her head was on his shoulder and partly  
>because he didn't think he could pull free without waking her and that just wasn't an option. He needed time to be alone with his thoughts and the only<br>way he could be certain of that was if the object of them was within his sights, or under his chin as the case may be.

To say he didn't understand her would be a definite understatement.

He had thought she was mad at him yet he hadn't seen any anger, not even when he had joined her in the yard and she playfully  
>threatened to push him in the pool. It had simply made him laugh, promising to pull her with if she did; they were already soaked from head to toe.<p>

If it wasn't anger though he wasn't sure what it could be. She clearly got upset when they argued but surely she knew it wasn't personal.  
>That they could disagree without it meaning that someone was in the wrong. Only he didn't know if she did know that and that alone bothered him.<br>What if she thought he judged her on a few mixed opinions? If she thought he thought less of her because of them?

He hoped not.

As much as they had been bumping heads though he had yet to find a way to tell her that.  
>It was something he realized he should be making a priority but it was hard to do.<p>

Family came first and he and Parker's troubles seemed trivial compared to the game Eliot was playing with life and death.  
>It seemed selfish to worry about such things at a time like this yet he couldn't help but worry if by the time<br>the appropriate chance came it wouldn't already be too late. Absently he watched the weatherman point out  
>different storm locations on a muted TV as he decided maybe it was time to be selfish. <p>

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Chaos seemed to be tonight's theme for the hospital as a whole, storm driven lunatics  
>literally testing the water, and only now had she managed to find a minute to sneak away.<p>

Soon enough early morning would be approaching but she doubted if it would do anything to brighten the dreary mood the rain continued to bring.  
>Yet it couldn't seem to dampen hers, not with the sight before her. There on the bed was an image that was foreign, yet familiar all at once.<br>She'd recognize those curls anywhere and right now they were messily resting against a sheet covered leg. One of his arms curled around his head with his elbow resting on a knee, the other hanging almost off the side as he barely kept his grip on five stealthy fingers.

It was the most intimate yet innocent thing she had ever seen between them and it had her rooted to the spot as she shamelessly stared.

Many a time she had questioned their reasons behind being together, had wondered  
>how genuine it was, and had even thought there might be ulterior motives but she could no longer do that. This was real.<br>There were no actions to judge, no words to disbelieve in, and no conscious to con. This was the plain and simple unintentionally displayed truth.

She had stumbled upon it and knowing that made her as happy as it did sad.  
>This unlikely pair was authentic; it was one of a kind and unfortunately she wouldn't be able to take the place of or copy the original.<br>They were a set and it had her realizing that perhaps it was time to think about her matching half.

So caught up in her thoughts of the journey from her spot at the bottom of the bed, she didn't notice the subtle change in the room.  
>It was nothing more than the blinking of tired eyes as a bleary gaze stared out at an angry storm. The slight wiggling of stealthy fingers trying<br>to get a feel of what they were entwined in. Actions so insignificant that icy eyes closed and wandering digits stilled long before her attention returned to them.  
>No changes to be noted as she slipped from the room as easily as she had entered; Nate ignorant to any and all presence as he blissfully partook in what was surprisingly a peaceful slumber.<p> 


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter Sixty-One**

"So when are you coming back down this way?" Sarah adjusted the phone on her shoulder as she continued to spread peanut butter on a piece of bread.  
>"And you can't make it before then?" She was trying to make lunches, but it was becoming quite a task seeing as they had apparently run out of a few things.<p>

Could you pair PB and J's with cheeseballs?

"But Ashlee's still coming tomorrow right?" She knew there were cookies in the cabinet but put with the sandwich it'd probably be too much sugar.  
>"Yeah, I'm hoping we get it all done before the kids get out of school. If not I'll probably just ask Michelle to pick them up and watch them until Pete gets out of work." An apple was found and just as soon as she cut off the bruised part it would be making its way into lunch pales. "No he doesn't hate her! He just doesn't like the kids spending long periods of time with people other than family." <p>

As luck would have it there was only one juice box.

"That's not true and you wouldn't know anyway because you never take them anywhere." Skip it.  
>Becca was getting cookies added to her sack of sugar. "He has too! The day after Christmas he was gone with both of them for a couple hours.<br>Pete was actually starting to worry he wouldn't come back." As for Brian; five dollars would hopefully make lunch some teachers' problem.  
>"I don't know. None of them would tell me where they went. But I know the kids are more than excited for the next time." She shook her head with a smirk as she searched the drawers for Ziploc bags. "Well that would be why they like him more. You never hear them shouting Uncle Aaron after all." It was ridiculously fun to tease him. "Ooh… I'm gonna tell him you said that! Just wait and see who's scared then." Her smile didn't even fade at the stomping coming from above her head. <p>

"No… no he's not… no I didn't hear anything from the hospital. I planned on going over there just as soon as I dropped them off but it's going to have to wait until after I go to the store." Even expecting the question it still annoyed her. "Because I can't feed the kids celery and cheeseballs for dinner Aaron! But after I get done with that I'll be over there to see him. Hopefully I'll get some good news." For a long minute she simply listened, chewing on some of those cheeseballs which were slightly stale. "That'd be nice. At least with him sitting there I knew more of what was going on. These nurses don't know how his day goes past the times they feel like checking in on him." Powdered cheese product was not something you wanted covering your tongue before eight in the morning she was coming to realize. "Yeah… But only if he decides to bring his butt back this way. Work or not we could really use him over here… yeah… I know. But he's still the only one of us that can manage to spend the whole day that way… I've seen them over there a few times too but I'm sure they're busy."

His words were starting to get rapid fire and she was trying to keep up with them. "Now I never said I don't like them…no I never… I like Nate just fine… yes I do… yes I do!" With a sigh she admitted, "So maybe we got off to a rocky start. That doesn't mean I suddenly hate the guy though… Shut up!" She rolled her eyes at the proportion he was trying to blow things to. "I just wish he'd get done with whatever business deal he's got going so Eliot won't be alone too much. It's been almost a week now and the sooner he gets back the better I'll feel." She couldn't help but laugh as Aaron asked if hell had frozen over. "Apparently since that's the only way you can fathom Nate making me feel better. But no, I'm telling you we don't have problems like that right now. We're just worried about Eliot getting better which is fine by me." A glance at the clock told her it was time to get upstairs and make sure midgets were together. "Hey Aaron, I gotta get going but call me after you get out of work. I'll let you know what's up then." Even as she spoke she started making her way to the stairs. "Alright, I will… I love ya, Bye"

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"I doubt that even ten cups of this crap they call coffee would help me out right now." Nate groaned as he sat with his Styrofoam cup.  
>His back felt beyond broken and his neck had at least half a dozen kinks in it. "Remind me not to do that again or else I'm going to need a chiropractor before we even get out of this place."<p>

"I could recommend you one." The suggestion came from Dr. Sean Torlyn of all people.

"What are you doing here?" Immediately Nate was on edge.

"Now Nate before yo-"

"No, I took you off of his case so what are you doing here?" He hadn't helped Eliot so he hadn't any business being there.

"Your sister gave me permission." He just knew that this wasn't going to be a good morning.

'Well I'm back now and legally my word holds higher regard than hers so I'd suggest you leave." He knew he had forgotten to tell Sarah something.

"Will you just hear me out for a second?" It seemed like Spencer was the only person that could reason with this stubborn man.

"And why should I?" Nate stood; he was all for tossing the guy out physically if he didn't start moving soon.

"Because I want to talk to you about his treatment and abou-"

"What treatment?" Immediately his mind was screaming at him to find out what they were doing to Eliot without his permission.

"Am I going to be allowed to speak freely?" Finally some leverage.

"Come out with it already!" Suddenly his heart was thrumming and he couldn't seem to remember quite how blinking worked.

"Alright, I'll be flat out honest with you." Angry yes, but he was almost positive Nate wouldn't be vindictive.  
>"When you came out and told me he was in a coma I didn't leave it alone."<p>

"What did you do?" There was more accusation than anything in Nate's voice.  
>If he had been the cause of whatever Eliot was receiving treatment for he'd be in for a living hell.<p>

"I spent every free minute I had looking for a diagnosis." A little bit of attitude came out to match Nate's accusation.

"And?" If the pause was for effect it sure wasn't welcome.

"And a few tubes of blood, some serological tests, a couple of false starts, an x-ray, and over fifty some hours later I found one." Torlyn glared firmly at Nate.  
>If he wasn't going to be allowed to speak on his terms than he wasn't going to share.<p>

"Alright," Nate relented as his gaze fell to Eliot. "I'll listen to you." He couldn't ignore the voice telling him that this could be it; the end could finally be approaching. "Just tell me what's wrong with him?"

"Has your sister told you anything?" Suddenly he was wondering why she hadn't.

"I had to leave town for a few days; she wouldn't have been able to reach me." Which he was regretting immensely. He had obviously missed quite a deal.

"Well three days ago she consented to starting Chelation therapy." Sean moved a stool toward the end of the bed where he decided to sit; hoping Nate'd do the same. "I explained all of the ins and outs and we both agreed it was the best move."

"For?" Nate tried for wonder as he held back annoyance. Why could doctors never get straight to the point?

"Do you remember that shrapnel you came to tell me they removed?" Nate answered his question with a nod as finally he reclaimed his seat.  
>"Well it was lodged by the gallbladder not too far away from the pancreas and in doing their job they were slowly poisoning him."<p>

"Poisoning?" Nate more stated than questioned as his mind drifted back to health class in hopes of remembering what their jobs indeed were.

"That shrapnel began disintegrating right there in the middle of the digestive system where the main goal is essentially absorption. You could almost say it was unintentionally soaking up this tainted material for use." It sure explained the consistency; the treatments they had tried wouldn't have been a bit of help with foreign material still in his gut.

"So you're saying his stomach was being continually filled with contaminated digestive juices?" He couldn't seem to think properly, too busy himself with trying to absorb such information.

"Small intestine actually and judging by the proximity of the shrapnel to the gallbladder it was probably the bile itself that was most contaminated. But yes, every time a meal made its way to the intestine to be further broken down that spoiled fluid would come and chase it right back up. By now I'd say just about every inch of his digestive tract probably has a faint coat of lead on it." He had faith that the case would soon be changing though.

"Lead?" And just like that Nate was once more behind in what had been revealed.

"I can even confirm it this time." Torlyn assured, knowing how Nate felt about proof. "They've yet to find the car that hit him but there's no doubt in my mind that when they do it'll be covered in lead based paint."

"He has lead poisoning?" He had heard Torlyn say it, had repeated it for clarification, yet it wasn't sinking in.

"Yes, and that's why I wanted to talk to you about treatment. The Chelation therapy will get him on the right track but that's only if we eliminate his exposure altogether." It was a conversation he had saved just for Nate; feeling like he would somehow get more accurate answers from him than from his sister.

"You think he's been exposed to lead other than what was covering that shrapnel?" Nate stopped midway in grabbing his cup as his attention was turned back to the doctor.

"The density that was starting to show on this last x-ray would have taken years to form, not months. It's just this slight little line on the bone that wasn't there back in April when we took that first scan." And what a lifetime ago that seemed.

"Well I don't know where he could be getting exposed at." And he honestly didn't.  
>He was everywhere that Eliot was and if Eliot was getting sick from these places shouldn't he be too?<p>

"Does he live in an older building?" Home would be a good place to start since it was where most people spent the majority of their time.

"He's got a condo; the whole building couldn't have gone up more than a decade ago." If they were talking years past Boston and L.A would have to be reference.

"How about work? Has he done any welding or plumbing?" Torlyn turned slightly on his stool to take a look at his patient.

"Nothing long term or professional, just leaky pipes and clogged drains." Nate answered to the best of his ability.

"What about soldering? Does he do any mechanics or any kind of radiator repairs?" He had seen the callouses on those hands; no way did Spencer spend his days sitting behind a desk.

"No" Though that was a total guesstimation.

"Then how about the fire range?" Hunting was big around these parts.

"He hates guns." Finally something he could answer with certainty.

"Well, does he spend any time in the mines?"

"No, he…" Nate began to deny until West Virginia came to mind. "Actually he did do a little bit of work in a coal mine."

"How long was he employed?" It wasn't an unheard of diagnosis for miners, especially lifelong ones.

"It was a favor for a friend." Guilt had once again come to visit. He'd put Eliot in that mine. "He couldn't have been there for more than a week or so."

"That could be part of it but," Torlyn shook his head in disbelief. This seemed like too much for a week in a coal mine. "Has he ever worked in a gas station?"

"Not that I'm aware of." And suddenly he felt very unaware. The only job he knew of that Eliot had actually had was in the bakery and he doubted if that would take them anywhere near the right direction.

"You said he likes to odd ball jobs but what's his specialty? Everyone prefers something. What about demolition or construction?" Nate simply shook his head no which beyond frustrated him. "Come on Nate! Maybe it's not work, maybe it's a hobby. How does he spend most of his time? What does he do? Give me something. Is there anything at all that he's done consistently?" He was hoping his suggestions would help Nate fill in the blanks. "Does he go swimming, motor racing, fishing, hiking… Does he own any four wheelers? Is there a place he visits religiously? Just anything at all Nate." Still it didn't seem like he had anything to offer. "What does he do!"

"He remodels" Nate barely voiced as it dawned on him.

"He what?" He had been so far away from expecting an answer that he hadn't heard it.

"He remodels older houses." Nate repeated as his gaze fell to Eliot. Had something that was intended to find peace really brought him so much pain?

"He does renovations?" Now they were getting somewhere.

"Yeah, he guts the places, strips them down to the paint and pipes." His coffee was beyond cold but it didn't matter because he had gotten a whole other kind of wakeup call.

"And how long has he been doing that?" His fingers were crossed for anything over ten months.

"I couldn't tell you exactly but it's been at least five years now." It was hard to imagine one, let alone five years worth of poison building in Eliot's body.

"I think there's your answer. Though most of us have at least a little lead in the blood there is essentially no function for it in the body." They weren't lying when they said it was the silent ones you had to watch out for. "If he's been absorbing it in small amounts for years now he already had more lead inside of him than his body would know what to do with. The shrapnel coming along was like an invader; it was covered in the stuff, and before you know it war had broken out." And though the odds were against him, Spencer had been holding his own surprisingly well.

"Would it have gotten this bad if he hadn't gotten hit by that car?" He couldn't help but wonder how differently things would have turned out had he never come to Oklahoma. If he hadn't been in that hotel waiting for Eliot, if he hadn't convinced him to stay.

"It certainly would have taken longer for the lead to reach such toxic levels but the story would most likely be the same. The only difference would've been his age and ability to fight. At 35 he's doing a lot better than he would at fifty, he's still got youth and strength on his side." He knew first-hand how much blame the families of these patients dealt with and he hoped his words could help squash some of it.

"So what do we do to help him?" Nate stood in anticipation.  
>He couldn't believe that they were so close to reaching an end goal.<p>

"With your approval I'd like to get him transferred to a treatment center." Sean also stood knowing the emotions on this would be mixed.

"You want to send him away?" The room was still spinning for how fast he whirled around.

"Nate the only goal for him here at the hospital is waking up. His brain hasn't shown any signs of damage and his vitals have been solid so they're going to be more than eager to send him home just as soon as they can. In a treatment facility he'll have support, they'll help him through therapy, and he won't feel isolated because there will be others around who are having similar experiences." As a courtesy to Spencer he kept his voice even; hearing was the most persistent of the senses.

"And what if I say I won't put him in one?" He couldn't fathom it. To him it wasn't but a step away from having Eliot committed.

"Then he'll be released to you when the time comes but I hope you don't make this choice lightly. Keep in mind that we're trying to help not hurt him, it's not a punishment." He could tell Nate was on high alert with him once more.

"He'll think it is." Part of him didn't want to be away from Eliot and the other part didn't want Eliot to think he was trying to lock him up and throw away the key.

"It may be hard but sometimes you just have to put their well-being above their wants. Right now you get to choose which direction his recovery will start in. You can get him help he might otherwise refuse." These were two of the most stubborn men he had ever met and he'd hate to see Spencer's healing process be hindered by their mule headedness.

"I'll have to think about it." It was the only honest answer he could give that would get Torlyn to stop hounding him.

"That's all I'm asking." A glance at his watch said he needed to be going. "I'll be here for a few more hours if anything comes up."

"Hey Torlyn"

He had barely turned for the door when Nate's voice had him turning back. "Yes?"

"Thank you"

Those words stunned him to absolute silence.  
>There was nothing other than sincerity in Nate's eyes though and it had him slowly nodding in return.<br>Without another glance he left the room thinking that it just might turn out to be a good morning after all.

**E/N: Look, Look, Look…. I'm fixing him!** **Sort of. I'm getting pretty good at the medical ramblings if I'm allowed to say so myself. It's actually kind of fun researching all of it, well until you find that one little fact that throws your entire idea out the window and makes you start over which of course never happened to me. Nope, not at all. So this chapter was kind of a bridge… they're not as much fun as the others but they're necessary if you want to get from point A to B which means…. Yup, it means just that :) Next chapter's gonna be awesome!**


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: Can you believe it's anniversary time again you guys! 3 Birthday's strong and still kicking ass!  
>Just the thought excites me so lets get to it!<strong>

**Chapter Sixty-Two**

"So what are you going to do?" Sarah questioned as she placed her sandwich down.

"I don't know yet." Nate shrugged as he fiddled with the straw in his cup.  
>Somehow she had managed to convince him to join her for lunch.<p>

"Well what are you thinking?" She was quickly learning that it took quite a bit of prying to get anything out of him.

"If it's really for the best." His own turkey club went untouched as his mind whirled with thoughts.

"I know he'd never go willingly so if he does get transferred it's because I'm sending him away."

"Well it's not like you're locking him up and throwing away the key; it'd be for his own good. He can't stay in the hospital forever and none of us really know how to help him anymore." She knew he was feeling guilty, she wasn't the biggest fan of the idea either, but it didn't change the fact that it was a good idea.

"I could barely get him to take his meds... and that was after an hour of fighting." He worried if Eliot wouldn't be a hindrance to himself.

"That's what I'm saying," Sarah paused with a fry midway to her mouth. "He's too stubborn for any of us to handle. They were telling me the other day how he's probably going to have trouble eating since he hasn't been doing it properly in so long."

"Torlyn thinks he's going to associate food with being sick?" Nate dropped the sandwich back on his plate; he'd just decided to eat it too.

"Yup, he wants him to see a nutritionist to make sure he doesn't just decide to stop eating altogether. That's another reason why he should probably go. It'd be a lot easier for everyone if the therapist could just go to Eliot's room and sit with him instead of you having to drag El to the guys office." She could tell you right now, knocking him out and dragging him would be the only way you got Eliot to a shrinks office.

"Eliot going to therapy." Nate shook his head in bemusement as he lifted his drink.

"I know." Sarah laughed. "Funny thing is, by the end of this he wont be the only one needing it."

"You can say that again." No one living with him could currently claim mental stability, that was for sure.

"Hey, did that surgeon Cowell talk to you?" A past conversation suddenly came to mind.

"No, I haven't spoken with him in some time now. Why?" Nate stopped just short of getting actual food in his mouth.

"He was talking about the possibility of removing Eliot's gallbladder, but I told him it wasn't happening unless it was an emergency." Nobody was shouting life or death so she wasn't giving the okay to remove one of her brother's organs.

"Torlyn said it's full of lead, he's probably thinking Eliot will have a better chance of recovery if he takes the whole thing out." He shrugged as finally he took a bite.

"Do you think they should take it out?" She couldn't tell what way he felt about it.

"He's already had two serious procedures and four surgeries this year. So unless it's strictly necessary I'm not approving anymore. He can get up and do that himself." Eliot did not like people doing things to him without permission so he already had enough to explain.

"Right," She really didn't like making decisions on Eliot's behalf. "He's supposed to get his first lead level done today and I'm hoping it's dropping. They said the quicker it does the better his chances are at getting up and staying up." That was 90% of the reason why she had agreed to the Chelation therapy.

"He will when he's good and ready and not a second before then." He had given up on thinking differently because Eliot was just that side of it.

"That's because he's a stubborn jerk." Even as she insulted him she spoke fondly.

"Something like that." Nate agreed as he turned actual attention to his food.

"That's why he should go." She spoke sincerely as a serious gaze fell on Nate.

With a sigh Nate leaned back in his chair; he'd lost his appetite. "I know, I'm going to look into places."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"It's the library." Hardison spoke absently as he continued typing.

"What's the library?" Parker asked as she placed a plate, complete with pizza pouch, next to him.

"The computer they used, it was in the Boston library." He couldn't believe it.  
>Who did so much back tracking and erasing to cover up a public place?<p>

"But don't you need a library card to use the computers?" Parker wondered as she sat across from him with some tuna salad.

"Why didn't I think of that!" He didn't bother thanking Parker as he went digging for a name.

"You traced this guy back to a library in Boston?" The way Hardison had been talking about him it was hard to believe he could be found sitting next to the college kid too broke to afford a printer and the grandpa who had just learned what social media was. "I thought you said he was a mastermind."

"He is, he's..." Hardison paused in confusion at the name that appeared. "Nathan Ford?"

"Nate!" Parker exclaimed in surprise. "Nate double crossed us!"

"Or," Hardison suggested as her eyes darkened. "Somebody used his name when they signed up for the card."

"Good"

"How is that good?" He was back to square one unless the library had one awesome surveillance system.

"Because now I don't have to hurt him." The creepy smile and bugged out eyes didn't bother him as much as the death grip she held her fork in.

"Nice to know Parker."

Her smile simply grew as she snatched herself up a cracker.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"What's going on here?" Nate interrupted Sarah as he looked down the hall toward the nurses huddled by a door.

"God, let it be his neighbor." She felt bad for saying it even as they walked toward her brother's room.

"It doesn't look like it's going to be so." He just knew that they were huddled in Eliot's entryway and it had a pit growing in his stomach.

"Damn" Sarah breathed in fear seconds before they reached the others and Nate asked, "What's happening?"

"His heart rate spiked." Julie began as she continued staring into the room where there were yet others. "While we were monitoring for signs of continued elevation though his breathing went shallow and ragid. They're trying to get it under control now."

"Let me through." He didn't bother with asking as he squeezed his way past.

"Nate" Torlyn barely acknowledged as he kept an eye on a monitor while holding an oxygen mask to Eliot's face.

"What's wrong?" Nate once more asked as he looked over to the respiratory therapist who was obviously waiting for word that his ventilator would be needed.

"We're struggling to get a pattern back into his breathing." Even as it was said his oxygen level was adjusted.

"Why does he look like he's about to hyperventilate?" Sarah asked worriedly as she finally made it into the room and got a good look at her brother's heaving chest.

"Because he very well may be doing just that." Sean answered as he turned to the respiratory therapist. "Prepare to intubate." He wasn't going to risk brain damage when they had come so far without.

"Isn't there anything else you can do?" Sarah questioned hopefully, putting a tube down Eliot's throat was definitely a step in the wrong direction.

"If he was awake, yes, but it's kind of hard to calm an unconscious man." The first nurse they had spoken with, stated rudely.

"Julie!" Torlyn reprimanded before turning to Sarah. "If there was a better option I'd be first to take it, but for now this is the only one that's presenting itself."

"Look," The RT, Zach, broke into the conversation. "His pulpatations are calming, he's finding a rhythm."

"What's changed?" Sean questioned as he took another look at the heart monitor.

"I guess you can calm an unconscious man." Sarah sneered at Julie as she pointed out where Nate was speaking softly into Eliot's ear.

"Saturation's up to 92%" Zach announced as he made sure the pulse oxometer was on his patient's finger properly.

"We're down to 143 bpm." Julie announced.

"94% saturation," Zach declared as he moved back to his respirator. "that's a steady climb which means my jobs done here."

"138 bpm and dropping." Julie spoke once more as Zach and his machine rolled right out the door.

"That's still like 60 higher than normal." Sarah exclaimed as she watched Torlyn watching the screen.  
>Her brother's heart was obviously racing.<p>

"132 and calming" An ease slipped back into her voice with that.

"BP's solid" Torlyn spoke with a relieved smirk as he turned to them. "Julie, make sure the lab doesn't use this as an excuse to visit one less room this evening."

"Yes Sir" She spoke absently as she moved to make her exit.

"Nate" Sarah turned her attention back to where he was still crouched next to Eliot, whispering something too soft to hear. "You okay over there?"

"Fine" Nate offered a bit gruffly as he cleared his throat to adjust to the volume change. "We're fine."

"Care to explain?" Torlyn asked absently as he watched green numbers decline to 125. "It sure seems you have more of the answers."

A long assessing look was performed on two people he only sometimes trusted before he hesitantly declared, "He's a veteran... and sometimes he goes back there."

"Why wasn't I informed of this?" That changed his absolute view of some things.

"Because it's not a problem." Nate used the bed for balance to stand; his knees were always first to reveal his age.

"Is this why he doesn't sleep regularly?" If so it was indeed a problem.

"He sleeps fine, he just needs to be reminded of where he is sometimes." Nate spoke dismissively as he pulled a chair over to the bed.

"Has he ever been diagnosed with P-"

"He hasn't," Nate cut off sharply. "And he won't be because it isn't a problem. It doesn't affect his daily life and I won't have someone trying to unfoundedly place that stigma on his shoulders."

"So," Nate sounded almost angry and to her Torlyn wasn't looking much better off. "Is he going to be alright?"

"Judging by what I've seen it seems like his anxiety levels simply climbed too high." His gaze didn't turn from Nate as he spoke to Sarah.

"So he had a panic attack?" That didn't sound right. Eliot didn't panic.

"I'd say so, but that isn't a subconscious response which means," He was almost excited to say it but Nate beat him to it. "To some extent he's conscious."

"He's waking up!" Her day had suddenly brightened ten fold which was saying something since it was still wet and dreary.

"Now don't get too excited. This isn't like some movie." Sean warned. "He wont be walking and talking by tomorrow; it'll take time."

"He can take as much as he needs." Sarah all but swore. She didn't care if it took one day or ten as long as she got her brother back.

"Make sure you let him know that, talk to him; after all he seems to be listening." He gestured his head over to where Nate was once more whispering.

"If that's what it takes I will sit here and talk to him until he's begging me himself to shut up."

"That's the spirit." Torlyn smirked as he checked to see 119 bpm; it seemed like he'd be back to average within the hour. Now just as long as he didn't drop below it. "I've got to get going but I'll be back first thing tomorrow to go over those results with you." Without pause he moved to adjust the level of oxygen Spencer was getting.

"Does he still need that?" Sarah didn't hesitate in asking.

"Until he reaches a 96% saturation I'd prefer to leave it."

"Alright then?" Sarah feigned understanding as he moved to the exit. "See you later."

The room grew quiet as the door shut and she watched Nate grasp her brother's hand in a more intimate way. "Alright," She couldn't bring herself to quietly stand by like some common gawker. "What's with all the sweet talk?"

Nate smiled over to her with a sly, "Don't you wish you knew."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"You're still sleeping!" Parker exclaimed as the door was opened.

"Yeah Soph, I didn't take you for the kind of woman to sleep past noon." But there she stood in her bathrobe with eyes nearly drooping.

"Have you any idea what time I got in this morning?" Sophie defended as she turned toward her living area.

"Didn't you say you were only going to be there for part of the night?" He distinctly remembered her saying something to that extent.

"Well yesterday they decided to teach me about this lovely little thing called overtime." She all but groaned, ladies did not groan, as she sunk into her couch.

"Sounds rough" Hardison sympathized as Parker took a seat across from her.

"Trust me, it is." Sophie spoke honestly as she pulled her fingers through her hair in an attempt to comb it to the side; surely she looked a mess.

"Sure," Parker dismissed carelessly. "Now we need your help."

"With?" Parker's bluntness no longer fazed her.

"Hardison ran out of ideas so we need you to help us find Nate so he can come up with more."

"Hey! I did not run ou-"

"That's what this is all about?" Sophie cut him off as she spoke out in disbelief. "You woke me up for Nate!"

"I'm starting to worry about him." Hardison confined seriously.

"He's at the bloody hospital Alec!" Where she knew for fact he had gotten his sleep.

"He's with El?" He didn't believe it.

"When I last checked in, yes, he was with Eliot." According to her clock that had been over nine hours ago.

"Well then lets go." Parker urged Hardison: he had been so desperate to find the man after all.

"Are you coming Sophie?" Hardison asked as he was pulled from his seat by Parker.

"No thank you." She fully planned on using the day's somber tone to her advantage.

"But don't you have a shift to start getting ready for?" He had to sink his heels into the carpet to stop Parker from dragging him right out the door.

"Lets just say," Sophie gracefully dropped her head on the back of the couch as she closed her eyes with intent. "the shine is starting to fade."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"I bet if she brought the kids by you'd be up real quick." For two hours straight Nate had been talking but he wasn't ready to quit just yet. "They'd probably con you into doing their homework before the visit was even over." And if that wasn't something he'd love to see. "Imagine the fit Sarah would pitch over that." Ironically enough he almost could. "Come on babe," He squeezed Eliot's hand in renewed faith. "Open those eyes and let me look at them for a little while." He had witnessed a few slight movements but none of them seemed to be purposeful. "Not that there not nice and all but two weeks of looking at the back of your eyelids and I'm getting tired of 'em." Coaxing was easy when the alternative was waiting. "Look, I'll even make it easy for you... you don't have to open them both. It doesn't even have to be all the way. Just slit one a little bit." He didn't dare blink as he waited for Eliot to do just that. "I dare you."

"I don't think he gambles."

The interruption was taken in stride as he said, "Of course he does Parker, we all do."

"You can say that again." Hardison spoke sternly as he shut the door behind himself.

"I take it you're upset with me."

Hardison's gaze was as hard as his words. "Upset? Naw, what gave you that idea! It's not like you disappeared or anything! And we ain't got nobody after us!"

"Hardison"

"No Nate! In the very least you could have picked up a phone! Instead you got me over here wondering if your ass wasn't kidnapped by the Russians!" He spoke with a passion that was purely fearful anger.

"Are you done now?" He'd take the glare and crossed arms as a yes. "I was going to call but I figured my news would be better delivered in person."

"What news?" Hardison couldn't help the curiosity that had him breaking his silence.

"We don't have to worry anymore. I took care of it." And if he wasn't happy to say they had one less problem.

"What did you do?" The question was shocking for the sole fact that Parker had voiced it.

"Why do you assume I did something?" He lowered his voice in hopes that they'd do the same. The last thing he needed was their shouting upsetting Eliot once more.

"Because we know you." Hardison stressed. "So what did you do?"

"I had a pleasant conversation with the guy." Nate shrugged.

"No really, what did you do?" He didn't believe it.

"There was no threat, it was a false alarm, we're good to go." His family was his problem and it wasn't their business.

"Then why couldn't Hardison find anything?" Her prodding had nothing to do with trust, it was about being kept out of the loop.

"Yeah man, if it's so much of nothing why are they dug so deep?" Hardison propped himself by the window.

"Only the best for the best." And there was no doubt in his mind that his father was one of the best.

"So you didn't make any shady deals with the devil?" It seemed too good to be true.

"Not even with the Russians." He smirked as a grin fell over Hardison's face and Parker said, "Good!" It was nice to know that through it all they still trusted him on some level.

"What's with the mask?" Parker asked as she climbed on the bed. It had most definitely not been there the day before.

"Just a precaution" Nate lied without a second thought. He'd respect Eliot by keeping as much private as possible.

"For?" Hardison asked as he took the seat on the opposite side of the bed.

"When he wakes up." It was as good a reason as any.

"They think he's getting up?" That had Hardison leaning forward as if to get a better grasp.

"I told you he's been moving." Parker spoke proudly; things would be better in no time.

"He's definitely listening." Nate added. There was no doubt in his mind that Eliot was as aware of the situation as he could currently be.

"Alright then," Hardison decided to have a little fun and lighten the mood. "I bet him an undisclosed item"

"Valued at atleast 20 grand" Nate laughed at Parker's little add on.

With a raised eyebrow in Parker's direction he continued, "That he won't be up in three days."

"Now that's cheating." Nate declared.

"How is that cheating!" He hadn't rigged anything.

"You bet with the odds!" Who did that?

"Well, with 20 grand on the line I wasn't going against 'em!" Geeze. If he felt so strongly about it why didn't he just get in on the bet.

"That's the whole point of gambling!" He was all about beating the odds.

"look"

"To lose your money!"

"look"

"No, to build the pot in-"

**"LOOK!" **Parker's shout broke through their arguing.

"What Parker?" Both gazes were set on where she was sitting on the bottom of the bed.  
>They followed a pointed finger as she announced with a bright smile, "He won!"<p>

"He won" Hardison spoke in disbelief as he stared at the man before him.

"You can say that again." Nate's words were almost hollow and he didn't dare to blink.  
>Not until disoriented blue eyes met up with his own. Then it was all he could do to insure himself that he was actually seeing this. It was true and it had something in his chest loosening as he realized... He had won too.<p>

**E/N: Well? What'd you think? Did I do good? I tried so hard to squeeze in some of those lovey moments (we're so often missing) seeing as this is a special (milestone) chapter. Thanks for reading! And for those of you who have been around through the thick and thin, patiently reading (and in some cases re-reading) another special thanks to you! You've given life to what was supposed to be a simple present and I love you all for it. **


	63. Chapter 63

**Happy New Year!  
><strong>**I hope everyone enjoyed the Holidays and all the yummy foods that came with them!  
><strong>**So here's a new chapter to celebrate the new year. ENJOY!**

**Chapter Sixty-Three**

**Three Days Later****  
><strong>

"Well what did you come up with?" Aaron asked Nate as he sat next to Sarah with his plate. He hadn't quite been able to make it to them so they had agreed to meet him part way. The importance of this conversation had brought them to Chickasha, or at least to one of its rib joints.

"Not as much as I'd like." Nate admitted as he looked over the paper in hand. "Amarillo has a few but I'm not really sold."

"Good, that's damn near four hours away from me." Aaron's distaste was clearly spoken; he barely saw his brother as it was.

"What else you got?" Sarah questioned as she dug her fork into some macaroni.

"There's an in-patient facility in Burkburnett that has decent reviews." Nate didn't seem enthused though.

"That's about the same drive as I'm making now. I'll just end up crossing the red river." Aaron shrugged as he lifted his pulled pork.

"Do you have any not in Texas?" Even if she was closer to that border than most of the cities in her own state she really didn't feel like crossing it.

"Clinton has a vet clinic, but I don't know if he'd qualify." Plus he wasn't sure if Eliot would appreciate going to such a place. He wasn't even sure what his standing with the military was.

"Clinton is two hours away!" Sarah protested.

"That's the drive I make every time I come to see you!" Aaron shot back.(Talk about a hypocrite)

"That's not ev-"

"HEY!" Nate shouted. He was not playing babysitter and he certainly wasn't acting as referee. "I get it, Clinton's a no." They were starting to remind him of Hardison and Parker. "What's the rating on Stillwater?"

"Eliot likes Stillwater, one of his favorite bars is over there." Aaron nodded his approval as he took a long swig from his glass.

"What! Do you plan on taking him drinking!" Sarah scoffed. "We're supposed to be judging medical centers not the local hangouts!"

"What do you got agai-"

"Come on now." Nate once again interrupted, though he did tuck away the tidbit about the bar. It could be useful later. "How about Oklahoma City?"

"NO" Sarah and Aaron shot it down so simultaneously that he didn't bother asking why.

"Isn't there any way you could stay in Lawton?" She liked Eliot being less than half an hour away, it was easy to keep tabs on him that way.

"We've exhausted our options at home." And since when had Lawton, Oklahoma become his home?

"You can always come to Edmond with me." Aaron suggested hopefully.

"You'll get Eliot in the same town as mom and dad when pigs fly." Sarah stated knowingly; she'd already tried.

"Well if you hadn't moved two hours away to nowheresville he'd have to come my way now wouldn't he." Of all the places he just didn't understand Chattanooga.

"What is up with yo-"

"Honestly!" Nate rapped his hand on the table for attention.

"If you two can't stop bickering I'm going to decide without you." If he was being honest with himself the only reason he asked for their opinions was so they could share in the guilt.

"Sorry" Sarah mumbled as she looked down to her plate.

"Yeah" Aaron offered awkwardly.

"Alright," Nate accepted authoritatively. After all he was all but old enough to be their father, though that would never be admitted. "I've been thinking about sending him to Moore."

"But?" Sarah voiced the one he hadn't said but still she heard.

"It's a private practice." He was still debating himself about it.

"Which means?" Aaron questioned as he picked at corn that was getting cold.

"Once I check him in he won't be able to check himself out. Neither will I for that matter, he'll be stuck there for six weeks until he gets transferred over to an out-patient program."

"I don't like that." Aaron spoke sternly "It sounds like a damn rehab. He hasn't done anything to deserve getting locked up like that."

"I actually like the idea." Sarah disagreed. "That way he won't be able to go against his treatment and he can't con Nate into giving in."

"I swear, if you two try sending him there I will make it my personal mission to break him out." 

Creepily enough Parker had spoken almost those exact words that morning. "Alright," And he didn't doubt that they'd team up to do just that which only added to his worry of Eliot attempting to break himself out of where ever he was sent. "Moore's a negative."

"Which leaves us with?" She hoped his setting the paper to the side didn't mean they were out of options.

"Norman" Nate sighed.

"Is it a decent place?" Aaron quickly questioned. He wanted his brother helped not imprisoned.

"Around here it's probably about the best your money can buy."

"Let me guess," Sarah spoke somberly. "Our money ain't even close to buying it."

"That's not the problem." Yes it was beyond expensive but that was the least of his worries.

"Then what?" She found it safe to assume he was lying when he said medical bills weren't a problem.

"They cater more to the patient than the illness and it's got me wondering if Eliot won't try using that to his advantage." No doubt in his mind, he knew Eliot could manipulate a situation if need be.

"Ya'll have got to give me some credit." Aaron tried. "He knows he needs help and I doubt if he'll deny himself that."

"Are you really taking him to Norman?" Sarah nearly pouted. He had been so close and now he was going to be so far.

"If I can get him a bed." Buy him one would be more accurate; he highly doubted any insurance would be helping foot this bill.

"It's another private place I take it." Public ones didn't have you wait past the time it took to make room.

"Valley Springs" Nate offered to Aaron by way of explanation.

"A name like that makes you almost want to rethink it." Sarah joked.

"Don't give him any ideas." Aaron warned, he just wished there was a way to warn Nate not to let this eat at him the way he could already see it beginning to do.

"Trust me, he's going." Nate swore. As bad as he hated to say, it was the only way he knew to help Eliot at the moment.

"How long is he staying though?" Sarah sipped on her soda as she eyed Nate's untouched plate.

"I'm hoping he'll stay a few weeks but..." How ironic would it be if he said he didn't want to be away from him that long in the same sentence? "I don't know." He offered instead.

"How's he doing?" Aaron repeated a question he was positive should be warn out.

"He was alert quite a few times yesterday but he hasn't said anything yet." If you added it all up he doubted you'd reach more than twelve hours Eliot had been "awake" in three days.

"It's weird not having him talking." Sarah shared. She knew it would take time but she was kind of used to him just bouncing back; it's what he had done after a seizure.

"So he just lies there?" It sounded like they were describing a vegetable and not his brother.

"No, he tracks you. No matter where you are in the room his gaze will be on you trying to figure out what you're doing." The thought made her smile, it was just like him.

"Hardison and Parker think he just hasn't had anything important enough to say yet." Nate added as he glanced at his watch.

"Now that sounds like El." Aaron laughed, his brother's cold shoulder put blizzards to shame.

"When are you coming to see him?" Sarah questioned as she turned on the booth they were sharing.

"I'll be over there on Saturday; tell him that." He only had to go home and rearrange an entire Friday to make it happen.

"I'm sure he'll be glad to hear it." It seemed like everyone was thrilled with the current news which was why he kept his worries silent. But it didn't change the bitter truth that had been revealed in his last conversation with Torlyn. Eliot wasn't awake. Yes he was quickly approaching wakefulness but there was still the chance he could slip backward and fall deeper into his coma.

"Nate? Did you hear me?" She had turned to talk to Aaron exclusively for all of ten seconds but that was apparently more than enough time for him to get lost out in space.

"What was that?" Nate shook his head to clear it as he turned his attention to Sarah.

"I said it sounds like it's going to rain." Sarah's words were echoed by a boom of thunder.

"Ya'll should get going then." Aaron advised as he stood. Just as soon as he could he was going to call the day done and go find Ashlee.

"You be careful." She stood to hug him with the hopes of the storm staying where it was instead of following any of them home; especially since they were residents of tornado alley.

"I will." Aaron promised as he pulled away. "I'll see everybody on Saturday."

Nate offered an almost awkward wave as he too stood, Aaron disappearing out the exit seconds later.

"Shall we?" Sarah asked Nate as he tossed a little something extra for the waitress on the table.

Without a second thought Nate agreed, "Lets go."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Parker! This ain't funny!" Hardison was currently on his hands and knees searching under the couch. "They'll be back any minute now and I can't find these dang kids!" He couldn't find her for that matter. "Parker! If Nate gets here and finds out we lost 'em he's gonna have my hide!" He yelled as he crawled over to the window to check behind the curtains. "Parker I swear" He stopped to make sure they were still in the good before re-covering the window. "If ya'll went outside after promising not to I'm gonna..." He had to pause to think on that one. "Well you watch and see what I'm gonna do!"

What he swore was a noise from down bellow had him jumping up and running for the basement door. "That's it!" He shouted down the stairs. "Games over. I'm serious! Do you hear me? That's a little something called a STERN voice! Now I mean it Brian, Rebecca, you have til the count of ten to be sitting on the couch or else." Never again was he agreeing to babysit.

"One" He called as he walked back to the living room to wait. "Two" He shouted as he crossed his arms. "Three" A door slamming outside had him losing rhythm and frantically shouting, "Now don't make me get to four!"

"Hardison?" Nate opened the door to what he was sure had been yelling.

"Hey Nate!" He plastered on his biggest, brightest, fakest grin for his boss and the woman behind him. "How'd it go?"

"Just fine Hardison?" Something was suspicious here.

"Yeah" Sarah agreed. "I appreciate you guys picking up the kids so we could get that settled."

"Aw naw, it wasn't no problem. No sirree, none at all." Now only if he wasn't lying through his teeth.

"Well that's good, but where are they because I've got to get going." His eeriness was starting to unnerve her.

"Yeah Hardison," Nate spoke with amusement as he leaned up against the wall crossing his arms. "Where are they?"

"Well we was just playing hide and seek you see," Another mega watt smile accompanied that statement. "So they're hiding."

"And how long have they been doing that?" The complete lack of Parker and the worry on Hardison was answer enough.

"Forever man, forever!" Hardison sobbed dramatically. "I can't find 'em nowhere. I told Parker I didn't want to be it, I ain't good at these kinds of games, but does she listen! She's probably got 'em halfway through the history museum's air-ducts by now!" Heck yeah he was close to tears; Eliot would kill him if he ever got wind of this.

Sarah shared an 'Is he joking' look with Nate before asking, "So why didn't you just call them out?"

"I tried but either they ain't here or they ain't listening." Given the fact that it was Parker he was betting his money on the first.

"Did you say the right words?" Nate was too amused to be worried.

"I've said it all. The only thing I didn't do was beg and plead with the little mon-sweeties."

Sarah couldn't help but laugh at the attempted save. She knew her kids could be monsters at times.

With a brow raised in humor Nate amusedly shouted, "Olly, Olly Oxen Free!"

"Olly who?" Hardison questioned with confusion.

"Olly Olly Oxen Free!" Nate once more called. "Or... All ye All ye outs in free! Or... All the outs are free!"

"What!" Clearly Nate was speaking gibberish.

"It means," Sarah began explaining as the sounds of laughter began bounding down the stairs. "You give up. You shout that when you're tired of looking and that way all the players know it's game over and you're not just trying to trick them."

"That's the-" but his thought was interrupted by the shouts of, "Mommy!"

"Becca!" Sarah returned her little girl's enthusiasm as she lifted her into her arms.

"Guess what?" Brian spoke with just as much excitement.

"What?" Sarah questioned on cue.

"Miss Parker has kittens and I got to play with them!"

"Is that so?" Sarah's immediate reply was Becca nodding at near super speed. "Well than I hope you said thank-you because that was mighty nice of her."

"I did." Brian swore as he looked to Parker for confirmation.

"They did." Parker assured. She didn't understand why moms waited to jump on their kids for forgotten manners but never seemed to reward them for remembered ones.

"That's good." Sarah spoke mostly to Brian as she said, "Say good bye so we can go home and get your homework done."

"But I already did it!"

"Oh really?" Now that caught her attention. "And how about you missy?"

"Hardi helped me." Rebecca offered as an explanation.

"Thank you" Sarah offered honestly to which Hardison simply nodded.

"Come on Brian," Parker called as she grabbed their back packs. "I'll go out with you."

"Okay" Brian was right on her heels and they were out the door in no time.

"Well we'll see you guys later." Sarah bid as she placed her daughter down. "Say bye Becca."

"Bye Nay-Nay, bye Hardi"

Nate couldn't help but smirk at the nick name.

"What?" Hardison questioned defensively after the door shut.

"Who doesn't know how to play hide and seek?" He was still leaned against the wall, plenty entertained with what he had come home to.

"How the hell am I supposed to know about setting oxen free?" That was the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

"The same way a five year old does." Nate all but laughed.

"By hanging around with ancient people." Hardison jabbed. "How old are you anyways grandpa?"

That did make Nate laugh and he didn't stop even after Hardison stormed away.  
>There was definitely something about being a decade older than nearly everyone around him; he mostly felt sorry for them.<p>

"Hey Nate" Parker greeted cheerfully.

"So Parker, how'd you like babysitting?" He questioned as she shut the door.

"Those kids are awesome! I told Sarah we'd do it again anytime."

"We?" He just knew he'd love this.

"Yeah, me and Hardison."

"Hey, Why don't you go tell him that." He nearly kept a straight face, her excited "Alright" as she left making it really hard, but what really got him was Hardison's shouted, "Aw hell naw" a few moments later. It had him laughing once more.

He definitely felt sorry for them.

**E/N: So who else is enjoying these negative temperatures with me?  
><strong>**I feel like I'm about to lose a toe lol But anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter and I promise there's only more good stuff to come.**


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter Sixty-Four**

Much like he had since this whole ordeal began; he found himself waking with a backache but nonetheless by Eliot's side. This time though it wasn't any machinery, pages, or personnel that coaxed him awake. It was the feeling of something crawling through his hair. With an uncordinated gesture he tried swatting it away, a little more sleep would be awfully nice, but when his hand connected with another he couldn't help but lift his head to investigate.

The first thing Nate's uncordinated eyes landed on was Eliot's face.  
>His eyes were open, something that no longer brought much comfort, but the look in them was somehow different.<br>His whole expression had changed from the usual one and it had Nate questioning, "Eliot?" Fingers actually moved toward his, Eliot was actually reaching out for him, and it had his breath baited. "You with me Eliot?" He watched as slowly but surely Eliot turned his head further toward him, opening his mouth to say something though nothing came out. "Just take..." He could barely manage to speak himself, so many emotions sitting in his throat that there was barely room for words. "Just take your time baby. Think about what you want to say a minute and it'll come to you."

"ah...a..." The sound of Eliot struggling for a word crazily enough overjoyed him; it had been too long since he'd heard his voice. "aa... ah... I.." His eyes had already been burning. He was already choked up with everything he'd been holding within and that one word decided it was gonn take the end strings and see what happened if it pulled. "You what El?" Though he ignored the few stray tears on the side of his cheek Eliot did not.

With a strength that looked to be all consuming Eliot lifted his hand in an attempt to wipe them away but he didn't quite make it. Still Nate covered the hand with his own, helping it to it's desired position, but after a moment he pulled that warmth from his face. Instead he brought it to his mouth where he kissed a slightly shaking palm. "Come on Eliot, what is it you want to say?"

"I..."

"Don't rush yourself." Eliot shook his head in what seemed like a meager attempt at aggitation.

"I... s'rrr"

"You're what?" Nate coaxed with the hopes of helping him out.

"I s'rree"

He had to replay it a few times before he finally caught Eliot's meaning but as soon as he did he was shaking his head in disagreement. "Don't be; there's nothing to be sorry for babe." It broke his heart to hear Eliot apologize at a time like this. "You're right back here with me and that's all I care about." Eliot opened his mouth in what seemed to be a protest but he wasn't going to allow it. "That's all that matters."

"I...I.." He looked beyond frustrated. "nnn"

"I got it wrong?"

"ooo..nn..oooo"

Nate was pretty sure Eliot was getting upset with him which kind of cemented his theory of getting it wrong. "You think you should be sorry?"

"I...rrgh" a definite growl came from a throat that had been extremely abused.

"It's okay" Nate squeezed an extremely frail feeling hand in assurance.  
>"Don't even worry about it right now babe. Whatever it is, it can wait." That statement only seemed to anger Eliot all the more; a look of sadness quickly filling deep dark eyes. It had Nate wanting to apologize but instead he stopped an annoyed hand from pulling at tubing coming from an irritated nose. "It's alright," Nate found himself promising as he moved from the chair to take a seat on the side of the bed. "It's okay" It was hard to offer comfort for the unknown but he did his best as he moved closer. "You're okay" The words seemed to calm Eliot some which he was thankful for because he wasn't sure of what else to do. "There's nothing to worry about right now." He found himself slowly rubbing a soothing pattern on the back of Eliot's hand, surprised at how good he was getting at speaking nothingness. "Everything's going to be fine."<p>

As he watched Eliot's eyes slip closed he couldn't help but pray that the next time they opened there was less of  
>this stranger and more of the man he knew and loved. With an inward sigh Nate adjusted his position around Eliot, kissing his temple as he swore, "I've got you."<p>

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"How in the world are you..." Hardison couldn't even finish the thought as he stared disbelievingly at the television.

"Kicking your butt!" Parker announced with a little too much joy. Her eyes never leaving the screen as she moved with her game control.

"No" He might have tossed a little insult into that objection. "Just... didn't you tell me that you hadn't ever played before?"

"I haven't" She shrugged as her thumb went whirling around the joystick.

"Then how are you-"

"Declaring victory!" She shouted excitedly; interrupting him without care.

"No, not-"

"But seriously" She cut him off once more. "I won"

"I can see that Parker." He spoke distantly as he set his controller down.

"Look Hardison" She wasn't the best at these things but it was kind of easy to tell he felt like his toes had been stepped on. "This game is as easy as pie to me because I've already done it all in real life."

"You've..." He couldn't find the words to explain how he felt. "You've done..." He was shocked; shocked that she could say that with a straight face. "You've done them?" Hell he couldn't even keep a straight face, laughter building in his chest.

"Yup" Parker declared seriously.

"Alright then" Try as he might he couldn't hold it all back. This girl claimed to have done all the same things as a miscolored rodent and his friends, she... she was crazy.

"That's the spirit Hardi!"

"Naw Parker, nah uh girl! We ain't using that nickname." There were reasons behind that which she fully knew. "No Senor"

"Alright Hardi" He opened his mouth to once again protest but the doorbell cut him off.

"Pizza's here"

"I got it Hardi" He wanted to be angry, he really did, but how could he do so when she had so softly placed a kiss to his cheek before leaving? Instead he found himself smiling; he could probably get used to the name... and losing a game or two. Heck, he'd lose 'em all and answer to nothing else if it meant there was more where that kiss came from.

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"You know it would really be nice if one time I got to walk through this door myself and see you awake." Aaron complained to Eliot. He had been there a better part of half an hour and hadn't seen any signs of wakefulness.

"I don't think he'll be waking any time soon." Nate interjected. "He had a rough morning."

"Anything serious?" Aaron asked, his chair tilted toward his brother's bed, Nate's toward him.

"Nothing worth worrying about. His mind's just running quicker than his mouth right now. As soon as he reboots and things start syncing up he'll be good to go."

"Well then he better get to unpacking so he can hurry up and stock the fridge." The analogy made Nate smirk, it wasn't half bad. "So..." What did you talk about with your brother's boyfriend who you only barely knew and only sometimes felt comfortable around?

"You Navy?" Nate's question had Aaron sending a thank you upward as he answered, "No, why?"

"I just seen your" Nate pointed toward the watch Aaron was fiddling with. "tattoo there and figured it was a likely possibility."

"Oh this," Aaron moved his watch band so Nate could get a better look. It was so small he doubted it would've been noticed had he not brought it attention. "I got this last year." It said simply, SEA. "It's for the three most important people in my life."

"Sarah, Eliot, and... yourself?" Nate guessed.

"Sarah, Eliot, and Ashlee." Aaron corrected. "He was there when I got it done actually."

"So you've just got the one?" He doubted if curiosity would really kill him.

"No, Ive also got a crucifix on my shoulder blade. I want to get some more detail on it but El's never really around and it's kind of turned into a thing where everytime I go to the parlor he comes with. He's actually the reason I got the first one."

"How so?" That caught more than Nate's curiosity; Eliot didn't seem like the kind to play around with ink.

"Well he was gettin' his and-"

"He was what?" Nate interrupted; he had obviously heard wrong.

"Eliot was gettin' his tattoo and-"

"Eliot's tattoo?" His ears were clearly stuffed.

"Yeah" He couldn't help but stare oddly at Nate, especially with all that wonder and confusion painted on his face. "Surely you've seen it." But Nate's gaze was still pondering in the least. "It's on his ribcage... under his left arm?" Only it didn't seem to be ringing a bell for Nate. "It says Ama... A.M.A. the numbers 8,3, and 1 are spiraling down the second half of the first A... there's these purple flowers entertwined in the bottom of it. The whole thing's done in black calligraphy..." Aaron continued to supply until it dawned on him that, "You haven't seen it."

"Not even once." Nate shook his head.

"But you'd have had to, it's right... it can't just not be there." Though he really didn't like his mind wandering in such a direction he couldn't help but think that Nate would've seen his brother's torso bare by now.

"Maybe it was once but it isn't anymore." He was in as much disbelief of Eliot having one as Aaron was of Eliot not having one.

"No way would he have gotten it removed. He loved that thing." He just couldn't believe it.

"Maybe he didn't have an option." Nate suggested as he looked back through his memories of where Aaron said it was. "How big was it?"

"If he crossed his arms he could nearly cover the whole thing with his hand." He didn't see why the size mattered if it was gone.

"You know... He's got a scar about there." It wasn't a bad one but it was certainly messy. Eliot refused to tell him how he got it. "If the picture got ruined there'd be no use in keeping it."

"Why can't this dude even manage to have a memory?" And suddenly Aaron found himself angry for him.

"Is that what he said it was?" It would definitely explain Eliot telling him to mind his own damn business the one time he'd asked.

"He said he was getting it so he'd never forget... didn't tell me what he was trying to remember, but it obviously meant something to him."

"I'm sure it still does." Nate spoke with a little inkling of understanding. Eliot carried the constant burden of regret around, feeling it constantly necessary to punish himself, and he was almost positive that this was just another form of that self punishment. What better way to torture yourself than to have your biggest regret and failure etched permanently into your skin?

"He seemed kind of hollow when he got it though." Aaron remembered from what had been an interesting night. "He wasn't happy... or sad really, he just seemed resigned like if he was feeling empty."

"It probably has to do with his time in the service." Nate lied smoothly.

"Maybe he'll get it redone." Aaron spoke optimistically.

"Maybe" Nate agreed falsely.

If Eliot had really gotten it done for the reasons he believed than it wasn't to honor her but to degrade himself and that alone made Nate glad that such a mark no longer tainted his lovers skin. It also made him want to thank the monster who had ruined that devil's brand.

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"Caroline" She stood silently by the sink and he just couldn't take another moment of it. Not in the four decades they had been together could he ever remember a time she had gone so long without speaking to him. "Caroline are you listening to me?" Seeing as she hadn't done so in days he didn't really need a response to have his answer. "Get your purse, we're going to take a little drive." He placed a hand on her shoulder but she pulled away in something close to repulsion.

"Dammit Caroline! Will you just give me a chance here?" He sighed deeply, trying to dispel anger that she didn't  
>deserve directed at her. "Look... I called Bill alright. Asked him for a favor and..." The words were easy enough but they got lodged in his throat. Instead he tried for a different tactic, "Honey I can't watch you like this anymore. It's killin' me how much you're letting this hurt you; so will you please just get your purse already."<p>

"Where are we going?"

Days of not using it and her voice was strange to his ears. "Bill says" His gaze dropped as he said it, he couldn't currently look into her eyes. "He says the boy's in Edmund."

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"What are you two up to?" Aaron questioned as he walked through Sarah's front door, Nate following close behind.

"Sarah pulled out the blackmail pictures." Ashlee announced with great amusement.

"She didn't!" Aaron all but groaned.

"Oh I did!" Sarah smiled viciously. "And Nate's here so I can kill two birds with one stone!"

Nate just raised an eyebrow at that.  
>Perhaps he should have let Aaron borrow the truck instead of giving him a ride.<p>

"Oh Come On! At least Eliot gets to save face by not being here." Aaron all but pouted as he plopped down on the other side of Sarah.

"Stop whining, you were an adorable little boy." Ashlee assured.

"You haven't seen the pre-teen years yet." Sarah promised wickedly.

"Can't we just stick with the baby pictures?" Aaron pleaded.

"No," Sarah whapped him for the suggestion. "but we can start there."

"Where'd you get all these from anyway?" He owed them a piece of discomfort.

"I got copys from Ma." Sarah made an, 'uh duh' face as she searched through her trinkets box for some good ones.

"Figures" Aaron growled as he picked up a few of the pictures she had tossed to the side; they were unsurprisingly all of her, the hypocrite. "Nice pigtails Sarah" He passed the picture to Nate before she had a chance to snatch it away.

"They are" Nate tried for sincere but he couldn't quite manage it past the smirk.

"If I remember correctly they were Eliot's doing!" Sarah was quick to defend but Aaron's 'uh huh' had her snapping, "Shut up! Both of you."

Nate actually laughed at that; she was insane.

"Who's this?" Ashlee asked with absolute interest.

"Aaron during what was the first of many graffiti taggings."

"What the hell Sarah! Since when can you tag somthing with sidewalk chalk?" His sister was a nut.

"You'd be surprised." Sarah mock whispered to Ashlee who was still looking down on what couldn't be more than a four year old Aaron.

"Hey Nate," Aaron ignored his sister as he turned his attention to the other man. "I found one for you." He offered the picture without hesitation, Nate accepting it as he sat next to Aaron on the very arm of the couch.

His eyes immediately met bright blue ones, the slight smile on his face nothing compared to the huge grin on this little boys. There Eliot sat, looking barely old enough to sit, in a big bubble filled tub. A rubber duck clenched in a small hand, sandy curls sitting tightly from all the water they'd absorbed. There he sat with his innocence intact, with faith and love in his untainted heart, with belief in... "Nate?" A worried voice pulled his attention back to the others in the room.

"Nate, are you alright over there?" Sarah questioned. "You're looking a little pale."

"I'm fine" Nate assured automatically. "Just..." He placed the picture on the table, it was suddenly too heavy to handle. "Would you excuse me a minute?"

Aaron shared a confused gaze with Sarah before agreeing, "Yeah, sure man, take your time."

"Thanks" Nate barely acknowledged as he headed up the stairs and to the bathroom.

"He looked sad." Ashlee voiced somberly.

"I'm pretty sure he is babe." Aaron answered, lifting the picture to get a real look at what could have caused it. If anything he should have been laughing.

"Do you think there's anything we can do about it?" After all he was family too and Ashlee wanted to help if she could.

Sarah simply stared at Ashlee for a hard minute before shaking her head.  
>She'd forgotten to censor her mouth about anything Nate and Eliot related, had dropped more than a few suggestions about their relationship she was now realizing, yet none of them fazed Ashlee. She already knew and though Sarah wanted to know how, she wouldn't make a big deal over something that hadn't caused even a little fuss. "He won't talk to us."<p>

"Well he clearly needs to talk to someone." Ashlee couldn't imagine how much damage holding such things inside could do.

"That he does but..." Sarah glanced over to the stairs to make sure they weren't being overheard. "he-"

"He's missing his man." Aaron interrupted matter of factly. "And whether we like it or not there's only one person that can do half a damn to fix it."

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Her hands were shaking. Her nerves not any steadier as she reached out for the door handle. Perhaps if Michael would have joined her the task would have been easier but despite her best efforts he had refused to get out of the car. So here she stood alone trying to find the strength to do something she should have long ago.

With a deep breath she twisted her wrist, affectively pushing the door open.  
>The room was nearly dark, a small light in the corner allowing enough glow for items to be decipherable. It was more than enough to illuminate her son's pale form. "Eliot" The only thing quicker than the hand going to cover her mouth was the tears that fell to her face. "What happened to you?" She barely choked out. This was definitely not the angry man she had last seen; this was her little boy looking hurt and alone. "Baby" An unsteady hand hesitantly moved to push hair away from his brow. "My poor baby" She closed her eyes in pain. The only thing hurting more than this sight was the realization of so many wrong doings.<p>

"Mama?"

Her eyes flew open in something close to fear; her choking on a sudden sob as she swore, "I'm sorry!"

Confusion sat clearly in his eyes, his hand reaching out to test this reality.  
>With hardly any strength he barely managed to brush against her arm but she pulled back as if she had been burned. "Mama?"<p>

"I'm sorry" She shook her head even as she backed away.  
>Tears persistent in her voice as she edged her way back to the door. "I'm so sorry"<p>

**E/N: Whatcha think?**

**Sorry it took so long but fanfic is not working for me at all. I can't upload, copy, or paste and it is so frustrating!  
>Hopefully they fix it soon so it isn't such a hastle to get things out there. Anywho, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! <strong>


	65. Chapter 65

**OMG you guys i fell off a cliff and died! Well at least my computer did (I honestly can not keep a working computer and/or an internet connection for the life of me) And i know what you're saying, "There's this awesome place called the library where they let you use the computers for free", and i thought of that I really did but when I got there they said, "Yo you can't use our computers you've got crazy fines man" and I said, "Dude, I don't check out the books. I sit in here every weekend for like a dozen hours so I have actual quiet to read them" (I will hide books so they don't get checked out before I'm done) Then they said, "Uh huh sure, Just pay the fines or return the books." And that's when I found out via a list of Clifford and the such that my little sister is a library card thief. Long story short my account is still suspended. And you really find out who your friends are when you ask to borrow a computer lol**

**Anyway feel free not to read that rant and enjoy some Neliot instead!**

**Chapter Sixty-Five**

It had been a long week. Eliot becoming more alert with every hour that passed.  
>Three days after trying to speak to Nate for the first time he actually spoke words that were understandable though fever induced.<br>He swore, 's no' safe' repeatedly as he shook in cold sweats. It took two days to break that fever, two days of Nate listening to silent pleas and pain filled screams, two days to chase away a lifetime of monstrous memories. To say the least they hadn't been completely successful for here they sat through yet another.

"It's alright Eliot," Sarah swore with a nearly solid voice. "You're okay"

"This is him being tortured?" Aaron half questioned half guessed. His brothers' unconscious declaration of, "It hurts" still ringing loudly through his ears.

"It'd probably be for the best if you two left." Nate finally got enough sense about him to say. "He wouldn't want you seeing him like this."

"Are you kidding me?" Sarah spoke in disbelief. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"Sarah!" Nate moved with just enough speed to catch her hand before it landed on Eliot's. "Don't touch him."

"Why?" She looked to her brother who was pretty close to thrashing on his bed.

"Because he's obviously freakin' out." Aaron used a touch of sarcasm to distance himself from the situation.

"Wherever he is right now isn't a safe place Sarah. If he feels threatened he might lash out and..." He had voted against them but if things got much worse he'd go against his own word and find Eliot a sedative. "... and he'd never forgive himself if he did that to you."

"But he's done it to you hasn't he?" Aaron couldn't help but put voice to what he saw in Nate's eyes.

"He just needs time to remember where he is." Nate purposely avoided the question.

"He's actually hurt you before?" Her question had Nate dropping her hand as he put distance between them.

"Don't" Nate shook his head in exhaustion. "Don't put that label on him; not you two... don't do that to him."

"Nate" Aaron tried for a point but Nate actually saying, "Please" had him relenting. "Alright" After all he was more than old enough to take care of himself. "We'll drop it." Sarah didn't confirm that but she didn't deny it either which seemed to matter more somehow.

"Do you think that there's even a one of them that actually makes it back home once they've been over there?" Sarah questioned somberly as she kept pain filled eyes on her big brother.

"Not with every part still intact." Aaron couldn't find it in himself to lie to her.

Nate didn't even bother to remind them that this was something to remember and be grateful for.  
>He was too busy watching the slight shift that Eliot had made. It was nothing major but he seemed a little more collected; like he'd found a tiny bit of control.<p>

"nnn" It was the slightest of sounds. "nnn" It was filled with a little bit of fear. "no" His head shook slightly with that protest as his eyes clenched tightly. "noo"

"What the hell did they do to him?" Aaron hid his own fear with anger, the desperation in Eliot's voice tearing at his heart.

"El" Nate ignored Aaron's question as he stooped by the side of the bed. He doubted if Aaron realized how open his words were. "Eliot, you with me?"

"nnooo" His voice was becoming more disbelieving; desperation becoming clear.

"Nate he can't keep on like this." Sarah almost pleaded for something she hadn't even asked.

"Eliot, come on" He ignored Sarah's words; he refused to get Eliot knocked out when it seemed like he was finally making progress. "You're safe here."

"no, no,no,no,no,no..." They watched helplessly as Eliot's fists clenched, his face contorting in what could be nothing less than pure pain. "NO!" The anguish that suddenly ripped from his throat was paralyzing, the agony in that scream absolutely terrifying.

"Eliot?" Nate barely managed to find enough voice to call out.  
>He was looking into clearly petrified eyes that were finally looking back, "Are you alright?"<p>

"They" Eliot was trying so desperately to sit up that he nearly jumped when Sarah pushed the button to adjust the bed. The only thing more jittery and shaking then him was his words.

"Eliot" Nate didn't know what to do, not about the situation or the unwanted people in it.

"They... They..." His breathing was rough and ragged, his words coming out in choked sobs. "They killed her Nate." Eliot spoke to him with eyes so big and watery that it nearly broke his heart, the next words doing just that. "My baby's dead!"

"I know" Nate's voice caught at the end of that word. "I know El... I know"

"I'm sorry" Eliot's repeated apology was so raw and hurt that it was barely audible. "I'm so sorry"

"Shh" Nate had to clench his eyes tightly to keep himself in control as he leaned to whisper in Eliot's ear. "She knows Eliot, she knows but you're okay now, you're both okay."

Eliot shook his head violently in denial as he swore, "It was my fault."

"No El..." Had he known Eliot had gone back there he would've intervened long ago. "Don't think like that."

"I didn't help her." Eliot was too lost in the past to get an even remote grip on the present.

"We'll get her some help okay?" Nate shared a look with Aaron that said he was clearly speaking for all of them. "I promise we'll get some help." It killed him to leave Eliot but he was beyond listening, too busy declaring that it was too late.

"Nate" Sarah questioned the second Nate pulled the door to her brother's room closed; she didn't have even half a mind to bother with wiping away the tears that continued to fall freely.

"Don't" Nate shook his head even as Aaron cleared his throat to talk. "I know you want to but don't." Sarah opened her mouth to speak but he once more interrupted. "I know you're thinking that if you have the answers, that if you understand you'll be able to help him, but it's not that easy." He was unfortunate enough to say he had experience. "So I'm begging you," and for Eliot's sake he quite literally would. "Please don't ever ask him about that." Aaron's eyes were burning red with the request though he nodded his head in agreement. Sarah simply stared, tears falling anew as she watched a wayward one escape down Nate's face, his voice cracking horribly as he pleaded, "Not ever"

With a fierce sniffle Aaron all but pulled himself together; clenching a firm hand to Nate's shoulder in the hopes of keeping him from falling apart as he swore, "We won't"

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"Knock, Knock" Sophie called as she entered. "Anyone home?"

"In the kitchen!" She heard faintly; most of her attention was on the mess.  
>The house seemed to have been painted with fur, not to mention the smell of old food.<p>

"Hey Sophie!" Hardison greeted with a touch of embarrassment as he pulled her into the kitchen and away from the crayon portrait on the wall.

"Hardison do I..." Her voice turned to absolute disbelief as she stared at the table covered in dirty dishes. "What? Did you... Care to explain?"

"We've been babysitting." Parker's voice came from absolutely nowhere as she all but appeared with a small bucket in hand.

"Yeah Sophie" Hardison more defended than explained. "Do you know how hard it is to balance kids, school, homework, dinner, and chores?" He questioned as he placed the bucket (Newly retrieved from Parker) under the faucet. "I don't know 'bout ya'll but I'm just one man."

"Well duh" Parker rolled her eyes. "You can't be two."

Ignoring Hardison's whining and Parker's... well Parkerness Sophie asked, "Why have you been babysitting?"

"Because a hospital ain't no place for kids Sophie." And for some reason Parker only reserved the naw duh's for him.

"So you've been watching Sarah's kids." Understanding settled as she took another look around. Though it was probably safe to say there wasn't much watching going on.

"We've had them every day since Eliot started waking." Parker sounded pleased with that.

"And we've got about two and a half hours before we've got to go pick them up again." Hardison, not so pleased.

"Well these certainly aren't conditions to be bringing them back to."

"Duh" That slight sound from Parker had him grinning as he added, "Hence the cleaning." Parker pouring some bleach into his bucket as she asked, "You want to help?"

"I'd love to" Their gleaming eyes quickly had her adding, "But I've got to get going soon or else I'll miss him."

"No you won't, he's not being transferred until tomorrow. Hardison and I are going to go visit ourselves after Sarah gets the kids." Parker explained as she began placing dishes into the sink; ever growing bubbles starting up her tedious task.

"Transferred?" She'd missed a few nights' work sure but surely she hadn't missed that much.

"Yeah, they're switching him over to a center for the next few weeks." Hardison clarified as he struggled with his newly found mop. "So ya see, you've got plenty of time to vacuum the living room."

"As tempting of an offer as that is," Just the thought of all that fur had her brushing off her dress. "I wasn't referring to Eliot."

That had Hardison stopping his mop mid stride as Parker asked, "Than who?"

"If you must know," And the looks they were sending said so. "I'm meeting Stan at the airport."

"I thought he dumped you?" Parker stated bluntly as she gestured wildly with one very wet sponge.

"I wasn't dumped Parker, we just... he just..."

"Wants you back now." You could even hear his eyes roll.

"Perhaps you could suggest something along those lines."

"Well, good luck with that." He wasn't even gonna share his opinion on that one. Nope, all he was doing was moping the floor and maybe, just maybe he'd be there to sweep up some of the dirt if things got messy again.

"As to you" Sophie nodded as Parker waved a bubbly goodbye.

"You can say that again" Hardison huffed, Sophie doing just that as she left the room with a laugh.

"And boy do we need it." Parker blew some stray hair away from her face, thinking how nice it would be to have something a little stronger than luck.

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"Ashlee!" Aaron called as he placed his keys on the entry way table. "Ashlee, you home!"

He knew she wasn't but he just had to make sure, no matter how irrational it was.  
>The drive home had been a long one; the radio serving as background noise instead of the distraction it was intended to be. His mind was just too full of pain, of fear, and most of all sorrow. His feet were heavy as he made his way to the shower. With any luck he could rid himself of some discomfort, bring back a sense of calm, maybe a little peace of mind, but mostly he was just hoping to shed the stickiness on his face. But perhaps if he was really lucky, in the process he could unload the weight of his brother's pain.<p>

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"So what we gonna do with the rest of the night mama?" Hardison questioned as Parker closed her door and he fastened his seat belt. They had just finished their visit with Eliot and to say it had been anything other than awkward would be an understatement.

"Whatever?" Parker shrugged without care.

"Uh oh" Hardison sighed as he asked, "What's wrong?"

"They're being weird again." She stated simply.

"They are not Parker." Hardison attempted to assure.

"Well then obviously we weren't sitting in the same room because yes they are." Parker swore.

"How so?" He'd bite.

"I don't know they're just" She pulled the visor down in frustration though she was soon pushing it up again. "Being weird!"

"So maybe they're being weird," Hardison relented. "But that doesn't mean that something's wrong."

"Because people are always weird for no reason." Parker nodded her head in mock understanding.

"Mama El can't even get up and stand on his own two feet right now. His mind's a mess and who knows what's going through Nate's after everything he's been through. Off is good because if they were acting normal right now I'd be the first one trying to get their heads checked."

"So we want them to be weird?" She was confused.

"Right now yeah we want them to be weird," Hardison confirmed. "But in like two months people better be back to growling and barking and bossing and punching or I'm gonna have to go get myself checked in somewhere." Parker threw her head back in laughter as Hardison declared, "Lets go get some pizza."

"Supreme!" Parker demanded.

"We'll see what they've got." With any luck he could avoid spending the night picking second rate mushrooms off his dinner.

"OOO BACON!" He smirked at her enthusiasm, now that he could deal with.

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With a sigh Nate leaned back into the padding of his chair.  
>They had brought him a pull-out a few nights ago but he was beyond the point of using it.<br>In fact he was beyond the point of many things and at the moment with how overwhelmed he felt, caring was at the top of the list.

He was glad Eliot had fallen asleep some time ago because right now he knew he wouldn't be able to handle being stared at as well as assessed. Yet that was all Eliot seemed to do, he didn't speak more than a few syllables here and there and that was only when directly spoken to. He didn't seem connected with... well with him and,... and he needed to stop thinking such thoughts. There was nothing wrong with him that some happy thoughts and a good nights rest wouldn't cure.

Still he knew, it wouldn't be as simple as that.

With a groan and a stretch he stood from his chair moving to the corner to kick off his shoes; though within the last few weeks he had slept more with them on than off. That wasn't saying much though once you calculated how much time he'd actually slept. He shook his head to rid the thought as he walked over to where Sarah had been seated earlier that day.

The bible she had been reading from was still tucked in the chairs' cushion but in one swift motion he was pulling it out.  
>It had been an eternity since he had fingered through one of them and though he had no plans of doing so now he still took a moment to caress the cover before placing it back in the side tables drawer; there were many, many memories tucked between those words within.<p>

Next in line was the lights; as per usual two were shut off and one was completely dimmed.  
>Only after that he didn't continue with the routine, the T.V wasn't flipped on, a book wasn't sought after, and he didn't pull out any cards to play.<br>He simply reclaimed his seat and resumed his thoughts. Tomorrow they'd be transferring Eliot to Village Springs and he'd yet to even tell him. For the next few weeks he'd be in the care of what many considered a home and he didn't even have a heads up. Eliot was just going to be thrown in because why? Because plain and simply put he was a coward. A lousy, no good, stinking coward.

But it wasn't like he hadn't tried telling him, he just hadn't succeeded in getting the words out. They would have been easy enough, 'Eliot, in a couple of days they're going to be moving you to a place to start your recovery' or 'Eliot, we'll be moving you to Valley Springs for treatment pretty soon' but they just wouldn't come out. No matter how he started to phrase it he just couldn't finish because to him it all sounded like, "Eliot I'm sending you away." He was sending him away and he didn't even have the guts to tell him about it. He didn't have the courage to sit through the outcome; not when his mind supplied him with flashbacks of Eliot all but begging to be let out of this very hospital. Even worse though he was a hypocrite.

As if it was yesterday he remembered his struggles in rehab and though it wasn't the same circumstance it was basically the same situation. He didn't need confirmation, he knew Eliot well enough to know that just like he had been, he was forcing Eliot between a rock and a hard place.

With another sigh he blew out a long breath. "I'm sorry" and if there wasn't a dozen and ten ways to finish that statement.  
>"Eliot I," He dropped his head in his hands in the hopes that it would somehow keep his thoughts straight. "I'm sorry" He didn't know what else to say.<br>All he knew was that was how he felt. "I" He found himself pulling on his hair as he glared at the floor; the pain of his grip causing him to sniffle.

"Don't cry" Such an idea hadn't even crossed his mind but the voice that had suggested such a thing suddenly had him wondering about it.  
>It was so soft and worried, almost childlike and it broke his heart. It was Eliot's, only it wasn't. Eliot's voice was solid and strong, heck he was solid and strong not baited with worry. Yet the fingers he felt trying to coax his attention spoke of anything but strength. That's why he couldn't look up, not at him, not while he was like this. If anything Eliot would be telling him to suck it up, heck he should be telling him to be a man, but instead he was asking him not to cry. It just wasn't right.<p>

But still those fingers persisted, reminding him of just how wrong things had been for a long time now. It scared him to even think they might never be right again, but even so that wasn't Eliot's fault and with that thought in mind he detangled his fingers from his hair, freeing his hand to be captured by one that was long seeking. All it took was one squeeze to have him glancing up and with one look... "Damn you Eliot" the tears came.

**E/N: Awwww :'(  
><strong>**Oh the feels, I've got me some serious sniffles going on right now.  
><strong>**Let me know if you do too. Loves to all!**


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